Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Beautiful?

Chapter 7

by dtng101 1 review

please comment

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Drama - Characters: Bob Bryar,Frank Iero,Gerard Way,Mikey Way,Ray Toro - Warnings: [!!!] [V] - Published: 2009-02-13 - Updated: 2009-02-14 - 702 words

][Next Day

My family and friends must hate me right now,...but who knows might be forever.I've seen the way my mother doesn't like gays,she makes rude comements about them if she sees them around her.God do you enjoy seeing me this way?? Alone and sad?I feel like if I'am on the edge of a cliff...with no where to go but down.Is there some kind of pill,that'll 'cure me' from my illness as my mother likes to put it. I've always had a good relationship with my mother,we've always been real close.I'am close with my father and Mikey.But it feels like my mother and I have this kind of friendship bond.That was only broken yesterday....I guess she might never see me the way she did before...As a friend or ...even as a son.
-Gerard diary enetry

I got up after I wrote my feelings down in my journal.I went to the bathroom only to see a index card taped down to the mirror in my mother's handwriting. saying "If you have faith and hope we could both cure you from your sickness. I can't believe she wrote that.All of a sudden the door opened,only to reveille Mikey at the door. Oh great what is he here to call me a fag or something.
"We all still love you Gerard."
"mm..thanks,do you mind if I get some privacy here,"
"Oh yeah sure,I just tell you," He blushed and closed the door.
Wow at least I know Mikey still loves me as his brother.
When I found out about Gerard,I guess I accepted him as he was.Since I loved him no matter what.You might be thinking how I'am open-minded and my mother is so close-minded.Well I don't know how to explain it,I just seem to see if you love another person no matter what race or what they look like,or sexuality then it's real love.And I feel so happy for both of Frank and Gerard,is he's happy then I'am happy.
We weren't shocked at all about Gerard and Frank,I mean you could see the love for each other in their eyes.We always knew they had a thing for each other.And we're happy for them.
Kristine and Caro were outside talking to Bob about something.I think Kristine and I are getting close to each other,and that's what I'am hoping for. I even got my first kiss yester -day,but shhh don't tell anyone.But I don't know how to tell her my problem.I'am to scare to even admitt to myself that me not eating is become a disorder.I don't know how to control it,it seems the more days pass,more I eat less and less.When I eat even a crappy crum,I get the sensation I'am going to gain weight,and no girl will ever love me.So why is Kristine even around me,doesn't she see the tub of lard I'am??
Why I'am so unhappy with myself??
Kristine and Caro just left it seems they both have a thing for Mikey and Ray.I look at my future and I see that one day my four friends that I've known forever are going to leave me because they might think I'am 'a freak',as everyone likes to see me.Why can't people just not judge me by my apperance and judge me for my inside.I feel like a two headed horse in a world of perfect horses.And I can't even bare to go home right now.That man is there---my dad.I guess I'am scared to get attacthed to him,and watch him die.
I know he only has a few months to live....and it's like I'am talking to a complete stranger that I have to call now dad.
I guess I just don't want to see him die......
a/n:sorry it took me such a long time to write this.It's just alot of things have been happening around me right now.Review?? :]
Sign up to rate and review this story