FicWad

Over the passed few days I've noticed that I was like a living zombie. At college I was never bothered to mingle with other classmates because I didn't see the point in it. I'd just try and catch up with the work that was given to me. At home I was locked in my room 24/7 and would only get out when I needed to pee which was reduced to only twice a day probably because of the lack of food that I was consuming. I wasn't a fan of eating but Maria and Toni always came up to give me a tray of food at least three times a day. I would only eat so little of it that it scared them. I didn't know why they bothered to care. I hated being home because everytime I was, I would think about him and only him. It would get annoying to me, but I was always lured to thinking about him because I wasn't bothered to do anything else. I hated the way I was acting now but I couldn't stop it. It was part of my life now. Life, this got me thinking as to how many more years I would live. Like this, with no seeing Gerard I wanted life to be short. I didn't want a long life without Gerard.

I sighed when Toni walked into my room. She always did that, she didn't care about privacy.
She stood in front of me with her hands on her hips. She had her eyes on me for a moment before she started to speak. "I had to go through hell to make Maria tell me what's up in that pretty head of yours," she sounded fierce. "And all I can say is..."
I shut my eyes and let her make some rude comment. I mean, it was wrong I know and I was ready for any rude comment.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?"
I let a tears trail it way down my cheek. Yes, what the fuck is wrong with me?
"You moron! Don't waste away your life sulking about him! If he wanted you, then he wouldn't have let you move out of his house, he would have said that he loved you too, he wouldn't have been afraid of what people or justice would say about it!"
I nodded as I silently agreed. Dammit! She's right.
"If I would, I would make you stand tall and don't give a fuck about it but I can't, so all I'm gonna say is deal with it!" and with that she walked off while making sure that she slammed the door behind her.
I started to cry for the 900th time that day. I thought about what she said and she was oh-so right. Just forget about him! He doesn't give a fuck about you so you don't to him. If he did, he would have contacted you in some way already.

Toni cursed as she tried to put the key into the lock. Maria flashed her phone light so Toni could see and she eventually did open the front door to our house.
"Finally!" Toni said and threw her keys on the table.
It was 10.30pm and we just came home from dinner and a movie. It was something that I never did since I moved in.
Toni and Maria started conversing about the movie, each telling their favourite scene in the movie.
"So which part did you like Nicole?" Maria asked.
"Oh, I love it all together. Yea but I agree with Maria, their first kiss was just adorable," I smiled. "Well then, I'm off to bed."
"Are you sure you don't want some lollies before you sleep?" Toni asked.
I shook my head, "Nope."
I told them goodnight and went straight into my room. I walked slowly to my bed. I felt my body tense up and I had a reason for it. Don't give in! Don't give in! I hugged myself ever so tightly. Do not cry! Don't cry, please! Not again! I pinched my arms. I tried to do anything I could to keep the tears trapped in my eyes. I sighed when I felt a tears fall. I didn't stop myself after that. I just cried. I tried to do what Toni told me to do. I tried not to care about him or anything but I couldn't. I went to that goddamn dinner and movie and it was crap! We had italian for dinner and I knew Gerard was italian. Then that chick flick of a fucking movie was about romance where I could just so relate it to myself except for the last bit where the girl is with the man she loves. That won't ever happen to me. I decided to give up. I couldn't not give a fuck about Gerard. I cared about him. I love him and right now I didn't care if he loved me back. I just cried so silently. I felt my insides burn. I felt like my heart couldn't take it anymore and right now it was trying to find a way out of my body so it could be free.
I heard a knock and my door open which didn't give me any time to react.
"Hey Nicole, we were wonderi-" Maria stopped in her track when she saw the state that I was in.
Toni was close behind her and was clearly shocked of me crying because she's never seen me cry before, let alone hysterically.
I hid my face in between my arms and tried to stop my sobbings.
"Nicole!" they both ran to me and started to hug and rub my back.
"What happened?" I heard one of them ask.
I didn't answer, I couldn't answer.
"Tell us! What happened? Don't scare us like this!"
I opened my mouth and a sob came out and I started to stutter out the words, "I can't take it anymore!"
"Take what anymore?"
Wasn't it that obvious? "The fact that Gerard isn't here... with me."
Toni sighed, "Geez Nicole, haven't we talked about this?"
I looked up at her with my red puffy eyes. "I tried, believe me I tried but I can't live without him! I don't know what's wrong with me! I just want to get out! Get out of this life!" I cried harder.
"No honey, you don't. Please, don't do that. How about we take you back to Gerard's? You'll bound to find a similr college there."
I shook my head, "He won't take me back."
"How do you know that?"
"I just do!"
"Okay!" Toni stood up and yelled which silenced me and Maria. "Nicole, I really don't like seeing you depressed. So why don't we get Gerard and you to figure this out then?"
I automatically shook my head. "No! You can't do that! No!"
"Why?" she asked.
"Because, you just can't! Please tell me you won't bring Gerard in it!"
"He was in it ever since it started."
"Please?" I urged.
Toni sighed, "Fine, I won't. But you gotta promise me to try and forget about him, for us okay?"
I nodded eagerly. "I will."






I was reading over the previous chapter and there were 7 reviews and I was like wha-? That can't be!
So I counted it and it was 7 reviews and I was like YAY!!!
Lol

Anywho, this chapter isn't that much great but it has to be in here for the next exciting chapter lol xD

Review?