Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Coming to Terms
Chapter 3
When I woke up the next morning, my nerves immediately shot right through the ceiling. I looked at the clock and noticed that it was already noon. Monica must have let me sleep in. I got out of bed and went to the kitchen where Monica was feeding the kids’ lunch.
“Morning” Monica said to me
“Mm Morning” I said as I poured myself some coffee.
“Mommy we get to meet daddy today!” Alex said all excitedly
“I know you do sweetie” I said while putting on a fake smile for him. I let it fall once his attention was elsewhere.
“Nervous?” Monica asked
“No not in the slightest. “ I said sarcastically
“Everything is going to be fine. I mean Ryan took it well didn’t he”
“Yeah but Ryan isn't their father. Ryan isn't the one who got me pregnant. What if he wants nothing to do with them Moni? I can’t put them through that” I said quietly so the kids wouldn’t hear.
“Katie, I know I don’t know him all that well. I only met him that one time, but he really doesn’t seem like that type. I mean yeah he is going to be shocked and upset but it wont be because he wants nothing to do with them” She said. We all finished up with lunch before I laid the twins down for their nap. Once they were asleep I got in the shower. After letting a few tears fall and getting clean I got out and attempted to get ready. I knew it would be near impossible once the kids were awake. I blow dried my hair before straightening it. I put on some make up before walking into Monica’s room
“I have no fucking clue what to wear tonight. I am going to see the love of my life tonight after 3 years and tell him that we have 2 kids” I rambled
“For one calm the fuck down. Calm down and breathe before you have a panic attack. In and out. Good. Now I already picked you out clothes to wear. Here” she said as she handed me a pair of black skinny jeans and a short sleeve purple top that had some sort of frill on it. It as also low cut to show cleavage.
“I’m a mom. I can’t wear this!” I said
“You may be a mom but you’re only 21. Plus you wanna look hot for Brendon’s ass. Now hush it and go get dressed” she said as she pushed me out of the room. I went to my room and got dressed in the clothes Monica gave me. Who knows maybe looking hot would help Brendon not be so pissed at me. Ha yeah right. I slipped on some ballet flats just as my cell started ringing.
“Hello” I answered
“Not skipping tonight are you?” Ryan asked
“No but if something goes wrong I am blaming you. And you will be the one telling the kids that their dad hates their mom and wants nothing to do with them” I said
“That’s not going to happen”
“Three years changes people Ryan” I snapped
“I know they do Katie”
“I'm sorry. I don’t mean to be a bitch. I am just nervous”
“I promise no matter what Bren’s reaction is I will always be here for the three of you. Anyways the care will be there at 5 to get you all.”
“That’s fine. That gives me 2 hours to feed and dress the kids.”
“How are they?”
“Sleeping…well was sleeping” I said as Lacey walked into my room.
“Alright. I’ll let you go. I will see you tonight. Oh the car is going to bring you to the back of the venue so that you all don’t have to fight through the fans. Zack will be waiting at the door for you.” Ryan said
“Ok Ry. I’ll see you later” I said as I hung up the phone.
“Mommy do we really get to meet daddy today?” Lacey asked me
“Yes you do sweetie. We are gonna go as soon as we get you and Lex dressed and we all eat a little something for dinner.” I said
“Can I wear my chucks and my skirt, and my music shirt?” she asked
“Sure sweetie” I said. The next two hours seemed to fly by. They twins were both dressed and ready to go. At 5 on the dot a limo pulled up to our apartment building.
“He really went all out” Monica said.
“You’re telling me” I said. The whole ride there I was fidgeting. Monica and I managed to knock out half a bottle of champagne during the 15 minute ride to the venue. Once we pulled up to the back of the venue Zack was outside waiting for us. I recognized him from some videos of the boys.
“You must be Katie and guest… and holy shit mini Brendon’s. Ryan didn’t mention you bringing kids” Zack said
“Yeah little Brendon’s that big Brendon doesn’t know about so can we please keep it that way until after the show when I can tell him” I pleaded with Zack
“Don’t worry I wont say anything. Though if he sees them before he will flip out. I’ve got a good place you can all stand where mini’s wont get hurt and you all will still be able to see perfectly” Zack said as he led us inside. The Venue was about half full at that point. Zack led us so we were standing between the barricade and the stage, where security usually stand. We were more towards Ryan’s side of the stage.
“These are for the kids’ ears….” Zack said as he handed me what looked like giant headphones.
“…They’ll block out all the unneeded sound. If you all need anything during the show… anything at all either tell one of the other security guys to page me on the walkie’s or get Ryan’s attention. He knows you all will be on this side. I’ll be back as soon as I get them to their dressing room” Zack said.
“Thanks so much” I said. He nodded before walking away. We kept getting weird looks from some of the kids in the crowd, but they disappeared from my mind once the lights went out. I felt my heartbeat speed up. The twins stared up at Brendon in awe the entire time. He looked so happy and gorgeous on stage. I couldn’t take my eyes off him. That was until his eyes connected with my own. He stumbled over his words before getting back into performance mode. After they finished that song he ran to Ryan and whispered something in his ear. Ryan just smiled and shrugged his shoulders, before going back to his own microphone.
“This next song is one that I wrote for a really good friend of mine and the guy that she fell in love with. They are both amongst the crowd. So this is dedicated to them” Ryan said before they started playing ‘When the Day Met the Night’. He winked at me and I smiled back at him. Once the show finished, the guys ran off stage. I immediately felt my entire stomach take its new residence in my throat. The crowd seemed to clear out of the place pretty quick. When Zack came back out to get us, he gave the twins a piggy back ride to the dressing room. Ryan was standing out in the hall waiting for us.
“Did you guys like the show?” Ryan asked
“You were AMAZING Uncle Ry” Lacey said
“You guys really were great. Much better than you were at Gram’s” I joked
“Hardy har har. I would hope we were. Bren… he saw that you were here. He didn’t see the kids, but he is freaking out trying to get to you.” Ryan said to me.
“I'm nervous Ry. Like seriously freaking the f-u-c-k out. I don’t know how to tell him” I said a bit panicked
“Tell him as soon as you go in. Zack can stay out here with Monica and the kids” Ryan said
“Is that ok with you Moni?”
“Its fine sweetie. Go do what you got to do” she said I squatted down to the kids’ level
“Lace, Lex… Mommy is going to go in this room here and talk to your Uncle Ry and Daddy for a second then I will be right back for you ok?” I said
“Ok mommy” they said. I kissed them both on the head before standing up and taking a deep breath.
“You can do this” Ryan said as he opened the door and pulled me in.
When I woke up the next morning, my nerves immediately shot right through the ceiling. I looked at the clock and noticed that it was already noon. Monica must have let me sleep in. I got out of bed and went to the kitchen where Monica was feeding the kids’ lunch.
“Morning” Monica said to me
“Mm Morning” I said as I poured myself some coffee.
“Mommy we get to meet daddy today!” Alex said all excitedly
“I know you do sweetie” I said while putting on a fake smile for him. I let it fall once his attention was elsewhere.
“Nervous?” Monica asked
“No not in the slightest. “ I said sarcastically
“Everything is going to be fine. I mean Ryan took it well didn’t he”
“Yeah but Ryan isn't their father. Ryan isn't the one who got me pregnant. What if he wants nothing to do with them Moni? I can’t put them through that” I said quietly so the kids wouldn’t hear.
“Katie, I know I don’t know him all that well. I only met him that one time, but he really doesn’t seem like that type. I mean yeah he is going to be shocked and upset but it wont be because he wants nothing to do with them” She said. We all finished up with lunch before I laid the twins down for their nap. Once they were asleep I got in the shower. After letting a few tears fall and getting clean I got out and attempted to get ready. I knew it would be near impossible once the kids were awake. I blow dried my hair before straightening it. I put on some make up before walking into Monica’s room
“I have no fucking clue what to wear tonight. I am going to see the love of my life tonight after 3 years and tell him that we have 2 kids” I rambled
“For one calm the fuck down. Calm down and breathe before you have a panic attack. In and out. Good. Now I already picked you out clothes to wear. Here” she said as she handed me a pair of black skinny jeans and a short sleeve purple top that had some sort of frill on it. It as also low cut to show cleavage.
“I’m a mom. I can’t wear this!” I said
“You may be a mom but you’re only 21. Plus you wanna look hot for Brendon’s ass. Now hush it and go get dressed” she said as she pushed me out of the room. I went to my room and got dressed in the clothes Monica gave me. Who knows maybe looking hot would help Brendon not be so pissed at me. Ha yeah right. I slipped on some ballet flats just as my cell started ringing.
“Hello” I answered
“Not skipping tonight are you?” Ryan asked
“No but if something goes wrong I am blaming you. And you will be the one telling the kids that their dad hates their mom and wants nothing to do with them” I said
“That’s not going to happen”
“Three years changes people Ryan” I snapped
“I know they do Katie”
“I'm sorry. I don’t mean to be a bitch. I am just nervous”
“I promise no matter what Bren’s reaction is I will always be here for the three of you. Anyways the care will be there at 5 to get you all.”
“That’s fine. That gives me 2 hours to feed and dress the kids.”
“How are they?”
“Sleeping…well was sleeping” I said as Lacey walked into my room.
“Alright. I’ll let you go. I will see you tonight. Oh the car is going to bring you to the back of the venue so that you all don’t have to fight through the fans. Zack will be waiting at the door for you.” Ryan said
“Ok Ry. I’ll see you later” I said as I hung up the phone.
“Mommy do we really get to meet daddy today?” Lacey asked me
“Yes you do sweetie. We are gonna go as soon as we get you and Lex dressed and we all eat a little something for dinner.” I said
“Can I wear my chucks and my skirt, and my music shirt?” she asked
“Sure sweetie” I said. The next two hours seemed to fly by. They twins were both dressed and ready to go. At 5 on the dot a limo pulled up to our apartment building.
“He really went all out” Monica said.
“You’re telling me” I said. The whole ride there I was fidgeting. Monica and I managed to knock out half a bottle of champagne during the 15 minute ride to the venue. Once we pulled up to the back of the venue Zack was outside waiting for us. I recognized him from some videos of the boys.
“You must be Katie and guest… and holy shit mini Brendon’s. Ryan didn’t mention you bringing kids” Zack said
“Yeah little Brendon’s that big Brendon doesn’t know about so can we please keep it that way until after the show when I can tell him” I pleaded with Zack
“Don’t worry I wont say anything. Though if he sees them before he will flip out. I’ve got a good place you can all stand where mini’s wont get hurt and you all will still be able to see perfectly” Zack said as he led us inside. The Venue was about half full at that point. Zack led us so we were standing between the barricade and the stage, where security usually stand. We were more towards Ryan’s side of the stage.
“These are for the kids’ ears….” Zack said as he handed me what looked like giant headphones.
“…They’ll block out all the unneeded sound. If you all need anything during the show… anything at all either tell one of the other security guys to page me on the walkie’s or get Ryan’s attention. He knows you all will be on this side. I’ll be back as soon as I get them to their dressing room” Zack said.
“Thanks so much” I said. He nodded before walking away. We kept getting weird looks from some of the kids in the crowd, but they disappeared from my mind once the lights went out. I felt my heartbeat speed up. The twins stared up at Brendon in awe the entire time. He looked so happy and gorgeous on stage. I couldn’t take my eyes off him. That was until his eyes connected with my own. He stumbled over his words before getting back into performance mode. After they finished that song he ran to Ryan and whispered something in his ear. Ryan just smiled and shrugged his shoulders, before going back to his own microphone.
“This next song is one that I wrote for a really good friend of mine and the guy that she fell in love with. They are both amongst the crowd. So this is dedicated to them” Ryan said before they started playing ‘When the Day Met the Night’. He winked at me and I smiled back at him. Once the show finished, the guys ran off stage. I immediately felt my entire stomach take its new residence in my throat. The crowd seemed to clear out of the place pretty quick. When Zack came back out to get us, he gave the twins a piggy back ride to the dressing room. Ryan was standing out in the hall waiting for us.
“Did you guys like the show?” Ryan asked
“You were AMAZING Uncle Ry” Lacey said
“You guys really were great. Much better than you were at Gram’s” I joked
“Hardy har har. I would hope we were. Bren… he saw that you were here. He didn’t see the kids, but he is freaking out trying to get to you.” Ryan said to me.
“I'm nervous Ry. Like seriously freaking the f-u-c-k out. I don’t know how to tell him” I said a bit panicked
“Tell him as soon as you go in. Zack can stay out here with Monica and the kids” Ryan said
“Is that ok with you Moni?”
“Its fine sweetie. Go do what you got to do” she said I squatted down to the kids’ level
“Lace, Lex… Mommy is going to go in this room here and talk to your Uncle Ry and Daddy for a second then I will be right back for you ok?” I said
“Ok mommy” they said. I kissed them both on the head before standing up and taking a deep breath.
“You can do this” Ryan said as he opened the door and pulled me in.
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