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When Brendon got back to Ryan’s apartment, Ryan was sitting on the edge of the bathtub, just staring blankly into space. When he realized Brendon was there, he just looked over at him, calmly although he looked kind of afraid. “Are you going to explain what’s going on now?” Ryan asked carefully.

“I’m sorry,” Brendon said. “I didn’t mean to. Really.”

“What are you? Some sort of vampire thing?” Ryan demanded.

“Yeah,” Brendon said.

“Oh,” Ryan said, sounding more surprised than it seemed like he should be. “Does that man I will...you know...become one too?”

Brendon nodded. “Yes. Soon, actually, which is why I’m here.”

“What’s going to happen?” Ryan asked.

“Um...well, you turn, which is actually really painful. But once you get through that, it’s okay, you’ll just be really hungry all the time and stuff. And, well, it’s sort of like being a teenager again,” Brendon explained.

“That sounds totally horrible,” Ryan said.

“It is. It gets better, I swear,” Brendon said. He wanted to smile but he couldn’t when Ryan was so acting so depressed.

“I don’t want to be a vampire. Don’t you lose your soul when you become one? I don’t want to just leave my life behind,” Ryan said sadly.

Brendon wasn’t really sure if he had lost his soul or not, so instead he just said to Ryan, feeling totally guilty, “I’m sorry. It’s too late now. Now that I’ve bitten you, that’s all there is. Either you turn or you die.”

“Well, I don’t want to die either!” Ryan said. “And, I mean, you don’t even act like a vampire, but I just don’t want to kill people.”

“That I can’t help you with,” Brendon said, but in the back of his mind he remembered about that one vampire, Pete. Pete was the one who had escaped when William tried to kill him, which nobody had ever managed to do before. Pete was so against killing humans that he found a way to feed without killing. Brendon wasn’t sure how, especially since Pete had been captured trying to fight the vampires. William had made Pete start killing humans again to survive. William found it funny to punish him like that.

Ryan sighed, staring down at the floor. “I guess Jon was right about you, wasn’t he?” he mumbled.

“Pretty much,” Brendon agreed. “But I swear I didn’t do this on purpose. I thought I could avoid biting you.”

Ryan looked up at Brendon with a glare. “Why didn’t you just leave me alone if you knew this could happen?”

Brendon went to apologize again but before he could Ryan suddenly grabbed his own stomach and screamed in pain. “Oh my god!” Ryan yelled. “What the hell?”

“Welcome to the fun of turning. Your stomach’s probably changing itself so that it can digest blood right,” Brendon explained.

Ryan stared at him a second before wincing and swearing loudly. Finally, the pain seemed to momentarily cease and Ryan said, “That would almost be cool if it didn’t hurt so much.”

Brendon decided not to tell him it was only get to get worse and instead just nodded. Ryan almost looked like he was going to smile but then he grabbed his stomach again. He slipped down off the edge of the bathtub onto the floor. Swearing profusely for a minute, Ryan finally said, “Why the fuck do my arms and legs and face and every-fucking-thing else hurt?”

“Everything is making itself stronger. You should be growing fangs soon,” Brendon said.

“Holy shit,” Ryan screamed, and by then his eyes had started watering. It only took about a minute before he started crying. At first, it seemed like he was trying to hold it in but gave in and just let himself sob. Brendon couldn’t stand to see Ryan in so much pain, but he had no idea how he could possibly help. When Brendon had turned, he had been left in a ditch to die and had turned instead, so he hadn’t had anybody to help him.

Ryan started to cry even harder and Brendon couldn’t take it anymore. He kneeled down next to Ryan and pulled him into a hug. Surprisingly, Ryan let him, hugging him back. Brendon figured it was because Ryan was in too much pain to think about it. Brendon held Ryan close and whispered to him, “It will be okay. It won’t be much longer.” He hoped that he was helping. He hated seeing Ryan like this.

And he knew that even once the pain was over there was still plenty left to deal with.



After a while, Ryan finally stopped crying and just sat there huddled in Brendon’s arms. Finally Ryan asked, “Is this it? Am I a vampire yet?”

Brendon shook his head. “Not quite. All the really big changes are done, but some things are still readjusting themselves. You’ll definitely know when it’s done.”

“How will I know?” Ryan asked.

“You’ll be starving,” Brendon said. He could feel Ryan tense up as what Brendon meant hit him. After that, Ryan pulled himself out of Brendon’s arms and moved away a little on the floor. Brendon frowned but was not surprised.

“So will I have to go...um...drink somebody’s blood then?” Ryan asked.

“Eventually, yeah, but it’s already daytime, so you’ll have to wait a bit. And I’ll have to go find somebody for you anyway,” Brendon explained.

“Why?” Ryan asked. “Wouldn’t it be better if I...uh...like, hunted or whatever myself?”

“You can’t. I can’t risk the one of the others seeing you,” Brendon said.

“Huh?” Ryan asked, confused.

Brendon explained, “Okay. William, who’s the leader of the vampires here, he doesn’t allow of any of us to turn somebody with out his permission. It’s too keep there from being too many vampires and creating too much competition. So anyway, if he finds out what I did, he’ll kill you, and maybe even me too if he’s mad enough.”

“Oh,” Ryan said, looking afraid again. “So you broke vampire law?”

“Yeah,” Brendon said. “But don’t worry. I won’t let them find out about you. My friend Spencer is going to help us too. It’ll be okay.”

“I really don’t want a bunch of vampires coming after me and trying to kill me,” Ryan said.

“Well, you’ll be one too so it won’t be as bad, you know,” Brendon said. “And I’m sorry, really, but it’s a little too late to do anything about it.”

There was a pause where Ryan must’ve been thinking before he suddenly started ranting. “Jon’s going to know it was you. He’s going to know you did something to me and know he was right and I was stupid. Why the hell did I trust you? And why do you think I should just trust you again?” Ryan demanded, standing up as he did. The effect he was going for was ruined by how feebly he did it. He started towards the bathroom door.

“If you go out there, you will get burnt. It’s definitely daylight right now, Ryan, and you’re far enough along it would hurt you just as much as the rest of us,” Brendon told him.

Ryan sulked back over to the corner of the bathroom and slumped down on the floor. “Well, what the fuck am I supposed to do now?” he demanded. “I don’t want to sit around all day.”

“Today you just have to wait. Most days you’ll be sleeping anyway,” Brendon said. “Which I wish I could, but you’re going to finish turning any time now, and I can’t be asleep when you do.”

“This is boring,” Ryan complained.

“Well, we could finish that make out session from earlier if you’d like. I won’t even have to worry about biting you this time,” Brendon said. It came off a lot more sarcastic and bitter than he had intended it to, but he was tired and Ryan was being whiny.

“Fuck off,” Ryan grumbled. They sat there in silence.

Brendon was about to doze off when suddenly Ryan said, “Wow. I guess...I guess I can almost understand why you couldn’t help biting me.”

Brendon nodded. “You’re a vampire now,” he said.

Ryan just sort of stared at him for a minute, not really reacting, but Brendon was sure that was only because Ryan was hungry enough to be a little dazed. “How long will I have to wait?” Ryan asked. “I don’t even care if I have to kill somebody. I can’t stand this.”

Brendon pulled out his pocket watch, which he always had with him even when he was wearing vaguely modern clothes. It was only about three in the afternoon, but it was still later than even Brendon had realized. “It’s about three in the afternoon now,” Brendon said.

Ryan pouted slightly. “That’s so long,” he whined.

“Sorry,” Brendon said. He was glad that he liked Ryan so much or he would definitely not be able to put up with Ryan’s whine-fest he had going on.

They sat in silence for a while after that and before Brendon could stop himself he found himself dozing off. He hadn’t even noticed he had fallen asleep until he woke up to find the bathroom was empty and Ryan had left. “Shit,” he said to him self, and quickly got up, even though he was tired. There was no sunlight coming from outside of the bathroom, which meant that night had already fallen. Brendon could only hope that Ryan hadn’t gotten very far.

Brendon quickly walked through Ryan’s apartment to the door. Luckily, when he opened it, he saw that Ryan had made it no farther than the hallway. However, when Brendon walked through the door and saw what had happened, he was less than relieved.

Ryan was crouched down on the ground, sobbing his eyes out, and covered in more blood than he had before. On the ground there was the body of a young woman with a pool of blood on the ground around her. Her neck had been absolutely ripped to shreds. Her white dress was stained red.

Ryan looked up when Brendon came out, and it seriously hurt Brendon to look at him. Ryan looked absolutely broken. His eyes looked lifeless. Brendon, without even thinking about it, just crouched down next to him and pulled him into a hug. Ryan let him and sobbed into his shoulders, saying, “I killed her. I just...I just walked out here, and there she was. And I couldn’t help it. I just...I just bit her fucking neck out, Brendon. I just ripped her fucking neck off and drank her blood and killed her. And I hate myself because it felt so good, it’s so good, but oh my god. I fucking killed somebody!”

“Ryan, Ryan, it’s not your fault. You had to. You’re a vampire now,” Brendon said, and just like that, Ryan pushed him away and stood up, backing away from him.

“Yeah,” he said. “Yeah. Thanks to you. Thanks to you, you asshole. You turned me into a killer. You made a killer!”

“I didn’t mean to!” Brendon said.

“I killed her because of you, Brendon! She’s dead because of you! And all the people you’ve killed...and how many I will kill...how do you live with your self?” Ryan said angrily.

“I’m not actually alive,” Brendon said, rolling his eyes. “And it’s not like I have a choice. I didn’t ask to be this way either.”

Ryan started sobbing again. “Oh my god. What am I going to do? Where am I going to go? Are those other vampires going to kill me now?”

“Don’t worry. You can stay here. I’ll clean this mess up. I’ll clean your apartment up. Just stay here,” Brendon said.

“What if Jon comes over?” Ryan asked, his crying slowly down some.

“If it’s night, let him in. Act like it’s normal. Daytime, pretend you aren’t home. And don’t worry about the other vampires. They won’t hurt you if they don’t know you exist, and they won’t know as long as you stay inside. I’ll hunt for you. I’ll bring you people. Just stay here, Ryan,” Brendon said.

“God. I don’t want to do this, Brendon!” Ryan said.

”What else can you do?” Brendon asked, and he wasn’t even being sarcastic, just honest.

Ryan sighed. “I guess nothing,” he said. “I’m going to go to sleep now.”

“Go ahead,” Brendon said as Ryan went inside. “I’ll take care of everything. I’ll clean these messes up best I can. I’ll make your house sunsafe. I’ll take care of you, Ryan.”

Ryan didn’t say anything. He still looked pretty broken.

And Brendon felt terribly guilty. He had never thought that Ryan would possibly be that hurt by just killing somebody. But then, when he thought about it, he had at first too.

He wasn’t even sure if it wasn’t entirely a good thing he had become so accepting of it.