Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Minnie's Diary
Three Students and a Stone
1 reviewThe conclusion to Harry's first year at Hogwarts from McGonagall's point of view...
1Funny
DISCLAIMER: See Ch. 1.
A/N: General consensus says that everyone likes the cat jokes. I'll try to spread them out a lot, so they don't get boring fast.
As for the things from "Sev's Diary," like the food and glaring... it probably sounds like something McGonagall would do, right?
I will provide a fair amount of Snape-bashing in the series, to make up for my lack of it in "The Heir of Gryffindor."
CHAPTER 2: Three Students and a Stone
This diary belongs to Professor Minerva McGonagall. If you're reading this and you're not Professor Minerva McGonagall, you will be cursed so that a dog eats your homework and no one will believe you. You have been warned.
Year 1 continues here.
Dear Diary, I had a wonderful Christmas this year. Got new things for my job and my personal life, and Hagrid even got inebriated and kissed my hand. As intimidating as he can be, he's such a softie.
Potter and all 4 Weasleys had enjoyable Christmas. Glad to see that he's fitting into the groove of things.
Was doing midnight rounds in the dungeons when I saw Snape vanish into his office at two in the morning, looking sour. I ignored it, but when I returned half an hour later to see how he was doing, he came out completely drunk. Yes, I kid you not, Severus Snape was stone dead drunk and pissed out of his skull.
I'm really not surprised; he gets drunk at Christmas every year. I'm still trying to work out how none of the students have caught on by now.
It was rather funny, I confess, seeing Snape walk around murmuring, holding mistletoe overhead and puckering his lips.
That is, until he saw me and moved in on me to kiss me on the lips. He even slurred, "Kiss me, kitty..."
Snape was a couple of feet away when I realized what was happening. Naturally, I had to defend myself, so I punched him right on his oversized conk. That was extremely satisfying.
Just checked this morning; he doesn't remember it. Good. I must have literally knocked some sense into him.
Next entry...
Dear Diary, Students are back in the flow of things. I made sure of that, once I got their cranial cogs working again. (Heh, I like that... "Cranial cogs," hehe...)
More good news: In the space of 24 hours, I managed to stare down 50 students and 15 rats- a new record! Woohoo!
Next entry...
Dear Diary, Our match was against Hufflepuff today. Potter caught it in less than five minutes, with an instant score of 150-0. That has to be a new record, I'm sure of it.
Victory was somewhat dampened by Longbottom trying to take on Malfoy and his goons. Courage is what Gryffindor House is about, although caution wouldn't hurt. It would certainly help, though.
Next entry...
Dear Diary, Found Hagrid in the library a lot for looking on stuff about dragons. It's perfectly okay for a person to be interested in wild and dangerous magical creatures (case in point, Charlie Weasley), but Rubeus seems a little obsessive about dragons lately, even more so than usual.
Mind you, I am unashamedly an avid reader of Transfiguration Today, so really I can't complain.
Next entry...
Dear Diary, Couldn't be in a more foul mood. Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, and Neville Longbottom all got caught doing something in the middle of the night, and Longbottom claims that they were talking about a dragon in order to get Draco Malfoy in trouble. Thanks to those three, Gryffindor just lost 150 points in one night.
I have never been so ashamed or angry of my own students before. Not even the Marauders.
I need a drink.
Next entry...
Dear Diary, Gave the four offenders (Potter, Granger, Longbottom and Malfoy) detention last night. At least my students were brave enough to accept their punishment. Draco Malfoy came back shivering and looking ready to wet himself. All he needs is a purple turban and he could do a good Quirrel impersonation.
That almost makes up for the loss of points.
Almost.
Next entry...
Dear Diary, I managed to go through the examinations of my students without any serious problems (not even from the Weasley twins- only because they know my wrath). No one could resist the power of my sternest looks. That really made my day.
Potter, Weasley and Granger were looking for Dumbledore, who had to leave for Ministry business. Apparently, they figured it out about the Sorcerer's Stone. Naturally, I reassured them that it was safe, behind all our defenses. What? It's true.
Next entry...
Dear Diary, I can't believe I slept through the whole thing.
Quirrel was working for You-Know-Who THIS WHOLE YEAR! Voldemort was even sticking out of the back of his head, which explains the turban! (Shudders.)
Naturally, the three musketeers went after him.
They played music to serenade Fluffy, used blue fire to stop the Devil's Snare that Pomona put in place, caught the flying key of all those that Filius charmed, made their way past the bigger troll (however, it was already knocked out), won against my SUPREME CHESS SET (Weasley got knocked out, but he's okay), and solved Severus' riddle (I didn't know he could be so poetic) with Granger's help!
And finally, Potter saved the Stone from Quirrel and You-Know-Who (YKH). He somehow burnt Quirrel, whom Voldemort then left to die. Harry was knocked unconscious, and he lived- AGAIN!
He's in the hospital right now with a mountain of candy. I had to lecture the Weasley twins about giving toilet seats as gifts.
In other news, Ravenclaw flattened us at the Quidditch final. Without a Seeker for us, it was relatively easy for that Cho Chang girl to catch the Snitch.
Oh well, there's always next year, I suppose.
Next entry...
Dear Diary, HOORAY!
We won the House Cup tonight, cutting off Slytherin's seven-year streak! Awarded a total of 170 points to Potter, Weasley, Granger, and Longbottom. Showed good sportsmanship and shook Snape's hand. Jumping for joy inside, though!
I'm proud to have Harry Potter in Gryffindor. Hopefully, he won't get into so much trouble next year.
Year 2 ends here.
(End of chapter.)
A/N: General consensus says that everyone likes the cat jokes. I'll try to spread them out a lot, so they don't get boring fast.
As for the things from "Sev's Diary," like the food and glaring... it probably sounds like something McGonagall would do, right?
I will provide a fair amount of Snape-bashing in the series, to make up for my lack of it in "The Heir of Gryffindor."
CHAPTER 2: Three Students and a Stone
This diary belongs to Professor Minerva McGonagall. If you're reading this and you're not Professor Minerva McGonagall, you will be cursed so that a dog eats your homework and no one will believe you. You have been warned.
Year 1 continues here.
Dear Diary, I had a wonderful Christmas this year. Got new things for my job and my personal life, and Hagrid even got inebriated and kissed my hand. As intimidating as he can be, he's such a softie.
Potter and all 4 Weasleys had enjoyable Christmas. Glad to see that he's fitting into the groove of things.
Was doing midnight rounds in the dungeons when I saw Snape vanish into his office at two in the morning, looking sour. I ignored it, but when I returned half an hour later to see how he was doing, he came out completely drunk. Yes, I kid you not, Severus Snape was stone dead drunk and pissed out of his skull.
I'm really not surprised; he gets drunk at Christmas every year. I'm still trying to work out how none of the students have caught on by now.
It was rather funny, I confess, seeing Snape walk around murmuring, holding mistletoe overhead and puckering his lips.
That is, until he saw me and moved in on me to kiss me on the lips. He even slurred, "Kiss me, kitty..."
Snape was a couple of feet away when I realized what was happening. Naturally, I had to defend myself, so I punched him right on his oversized conk. That was extremely satisfying.
Just checked this morning; he doesn't remember it. Good. I must have literally knocked some sense into him.
Next entry...
Dear Diary, Students are back in the flow of things. I made sure of that, once I got their cranial cogs working again. (Heh, I like that... "Cranial cogs," hehe...)
More good news: In the space of 24 hours, I managed to stare down 50 students and 15 rats- a new record! Woohoo!
Next entry...
Dear Diary, Our match was against Hufflepuff today. Potter caught it in less than five minutes, with an instant score of 150-0. That has to be a new record, I'm sure of it.
Victory was somewhat dampened by Longbottom trying to take on Malfoy and his goons. Courage is what Gryffindor House is about, although caution wouldn't hurt. It would certainly help, though.
Next entry...
Dear Diary, Found Hagrid in the library a lot for looking on stuff about dragons. It's perfectly okay for a person to be interested in wild and dangerous magical creatures (case in point, Charlie Weasley), but Rubeus seems a little obsessive about dragons lately, even more so than usual.
Mind you, I am unashamedly an avid reader of Transfiguration Today, so really I can't complain.
Next entry...
Dear Diary, Couldn't be in a more foul mood. Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, and Neville Longbottom all got caught doing something in the middle of the night, and Longbottom claims that they were talking about a dragon in order to get Draco Malfoy in trouble. Thanks to those three, Gryffindor just lost 150 points in one night.
I have never been so ashamed or angry of my own students before. Not even the Marauders.
I need a drink.
Next entry...
Dear Diary, Gave the four offenders (Potter, Granger, Longbottom and Malfoy) detention last night. At least my students were brave enough to accept their punishment. Draco Malfoy came back shivering and looking ready to wet himself. All he needs is a purple turban and he could do a good Quirrel impersonation.
That almost makes up for the loss of points.
Almost.
Next entry...
Dear Diary, I managed to go through the examinations of my students without any serious problems (not even from the Weasley twins- only because they know my wrath). No one could resist the power of my sternest looks. That really made my day.
Potter, Weasley and Granger were looking for Dumbledore, who had to leave for Ministry business. Apparently, they figured it out about the Sorcerer's Stone. Naturally, I reassured them that it was safe, behind all our defenses. What? It's true.
Next entry...
Dear Diary, I can't believe I slept through the whole thing.
Quirrel was working for You-Know-Who THIS WHOLE YEAR! Voldemort was even sticking out of the back of his head, which explains the turban! (Shudders.)
Naturally, the three musketeers went after him.
They played music to serenade Fluffy, used blue fire to stop the Devil's Snare that Pomona put in place, caught the flying key of all those that Filius charmed, made their way past the bigger troll (however, it was already knocked out), won against my SUPREME CHESS SET (Weasley got knocked out, but he's okay), and solved Severus' riddle (I didn't know he could be so poetic) with Granger's help!
And finally, Potter saved the Stone from Quirrel and You-Know-Who (YKH). He somehow burnt Quirrel, whom Voldemort then left to die. Harry was knocked unconscious, and he lived- AGAIN!
He's in the hospital right now with a mountain of candy. I had to lecture the Weasley twins about giving toilet seats as gifts.
In other news, Ravenclaw flattened us at the Quidditch final. Without a Seeker for us, it was relatively easy for that Cho Chang girl to catch the Snitch.
Oh well, there's always next year, I suppose.
Next entry...
Dear Diary, HOORAY!
We won the House Cup tonight, cutting off Slytherin's seven-year streak! Awarded a total of 170 points to Potter, Weasley, Granger, and Longbottom. Showed good sportsmanship and shook Snape's hand. Jumping for joy inside, though!
I'm proud to have Harry Potter in Gryffindor. Hopefully, he won't get into so much trouble next year.
Year 2 ends here.
(End of chapter.)
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