Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > How can i let this go?
It was just his face.
A face I never thought I would see again.
A face I should never be able to see again.
… It was him… It was Gerard….
His face and hair was dirty, covered in ash and soot.
His delicate pale skin was even whiter then natural.
He looked exactly the same as he did the last time I saw him, but this isn’t what freaked me out the most. No. what freaked me out the most were his eyes. Before they were a delicate shade of hazel/green now though, they were red. A hand was pulling on my arm, but I didn’t notice it. How could Gerard Be? What the fuck was going on?
“FRANK FOR GODS SAKE!” a sudden sharp slap across my face brought me crashing back down to earth. I turned my head to whomever it was that was “kind” enough to slap me.
I rolled my eyes when I saw Alice. Should have been able to guess that.
I turned my head back to were Gerard was, But he wasn’t there. I stood up and scanned the room. He was nowhere to be seen.
“Frank what’s up?” I turned around looking at them all. How can they all be so calm? A boy had just come back from the dead and the disappeared again. Right in front of them. Why are they acting like they didn’t see him?
“I… Didn’t you see him?” I looked at all there blank faces
“See who Frankie?” This confused me even more.
“He was right there. Just a second ago. He was sitting right in front of me. You guys were not talking to him…so…I…” Ow, they hadn’t seen him because he wasn’t there. I had been thinking about Gerard so I had imagined him. I looked at ray, feeling stupid.
He asked me if I was okay so I smiled at him telling him not to worry. Even though he should be very, Very worried
“You sure frank?” I nodded
“Yer just a…err… headache, you know what? I have a project to finished I’m going to the library see you tomorrow” they all gave me confused looks. But I waved them of and made my way to the bike sheds. I really needed a smoke.
I stepped out onto the front steps, the cold air hitting my face. I took a deep breath, closing my eyes as a light breeze blow past my face. I felt totally at ease. Just breathing in the fresh cold air.
“Frankie” my eyes shot open. I looked around, but there was no one there.
“Frankie” I spun around.
“Who’s there?” I called out to the seemingly deserted car park.
“Frankie. I’m sorry I’m so sorry” The voice was stronger this time, no longer a whisper.
It was full of sorrow and regret yet somehow I knew the voice. I’d heard it before. I’d heard it lots of times but there was only one person that I came up with. No, that’s stupid or was it? No it was, shut up frank.
I decided against having a smoke and turned around to go back into the school. As I reached the door I glanced behind me one last time. Scanning the empty parking lot.
From the corner of my eye I noticed a small piece of paper. I picked it up turning it over in my hands; it was a picture of two boys.
I realized with a sudden stab of shock that it was a picture of me and Gerard, on our first day of secondary school. After examining the image I turned it over, on the back was a single sentence scribbled in what I remembered as Gerard’s messy scrawl. “Frankie, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. But there coming”.
I locked the bathroom door, sinking to the floor.
I felt the familiar lump rise in my throat.
I rubbed my eyes, trying to rid them of the tears that were collecting there. After a while I gave up. I let the tears full, and I cried. Just cried.
I don’t know how long I sat there. In my empty bathroom.
Finally I ran out of tears. My body was shaking, I felt weak.
I wanted to cry more, but I physically couldn’t.
There was nothing I could do no emotional outlet or was there? A thought came to my mind.
A lovely, deadly thought.
I sniffed as I stood up and walked over to the sink, reaching behind one of the lose tiles.
After a little bit of searching I felt the familiar cool edge of my razor.
I brought it out, turning over the small silver object in my hand, examining the sharp edge.
Slowly I reached my other hand over to the small object.
Extending one finger out and lightly dragging it down.
Blood started to seep through the wound and I smiled. Walking over to the toilet and sitting down. I positioned the blade on my right wrist, Making sure that I was going to be able to cover it with my sweat band.
I put the edge of the blade against my pale smooth skin. Then dragged it slowly over the surface. Watching as the skin sliced.
I was captivated by the slow spill of blood that dripped out of my wound. I felt a similar sense of ease wash over me, but it wasn’t enough. I needed more.
I cut five more lines in my wrist parallel to the first one.
There was quit a bit of blood by now. It was dripping down my fingers and onto the white tiled floor, staining it with small spots of deep crimson red.
I started to feel light headed and I smiled again.
I couldn’t even remember why I was sad in the first place.
I decided that one more slice couldn’t hurt; I put the blade at the top of my forearm and dragged it slowly down my whole arm, slicing again thought the other six wounds on my arm stopping just before I got to my wrist.
There was a lot of blood now.
I knew I was in trouble, sure I had cut before, I had cut many, many times before, but the last time it was this bad I nearly died.
The room started to swim in front of me.
I tried to reach the bathroom door but didn’t win, I slipped and braced myself as I fell towards the floor, but the impact never came.
Instead someone caught me.
I tried to focus on whoever it was that was there with me. But everything was blurry. The last thing I remember before passing out was a boy, with long black hair, pick me up, like a baby.
“I’m sorry I’m so sorry” was the last thing I heard before the darkness took me completely.
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SOOOOO that was two. hope you liked
review good, bad, shit?
how can i improve
thanks
xox
rose
A face I never thought I would see again.
A face I should never be able to see again.
… It was him… It was Gerard….
His face and hair was dirty, covered in ash and soot.
His delicate pale skin was even whiter then natural.
He looked exactly the same as he did the last time I saw him, but this isn’t what freaked me out the most. No. what freaked me out the most were his eyes. Before they were a delicate shade of hazel/green now though, they were red. A hand was pulling on my arm, but I didn’t notice it. How could Gerard Be? What the fuck was going on?
“FRANK FOR GODS SAKE!” a sudden sharp slap across my face brought me crashing back down to earth. I turned my head to whomever it was that was “kind” enough to slap me.
I rolled my eyes when I saw Alice. Should have been able to guess that.
I turned my head back to were Gerard was, But he wasn’t there. I stood up and scanned the room. He was nowhere to be seen.
“Frank what’s up?” I turned around looking at them all. How can they all be so calm? A boy had just come back from the dead and the disappeared again. Right in front of them. Why are they acting like they didn’t see him?
“I… Didn’t you see him?” I looked at all there blank faces
“See who Frankie?” This confused me even more.
“He was right there. Just a second ago. He was sitting right in front of me. You guys were not talking to him…so…I…” Ow, they hadn’t seen him because he wasn’t there. I had been thinking about Gerard so I had imagined him. I looked at ray, feeling stupid.
He asked me if I was okay so I smiled at him telling him not to worry. Even though he should be very, Very worried
“You sure frank?” I nodded
“Yer just a…err… headache, you know what? I have a project to finished I’m going to the library see you tomorrow” they all gave me confused looks. But I waved them of and made my way to the bike sheds. I really needed a smoke.
I stepped out onto the front steps, the cold air hitting my face. I took a deep breath, closing my eyes as a light breeze blow past my face. I felt totally at ease. Just breathing in the fresh cold air.
“Frankie” my eyes shot open. I looked around, but there was no one there.
“Frankie” I spun around.
“Who’s there?” I called out to the seemingly deserted car park.
“Frankie. I’m sorry I’m so sorry” The voice was stronger this time, no longer a whisper.
It was full of sorrow and regret yet somehow I knew the voice. I’d heard it before. I’d heard it lots of times but there was only one person that I came up with. No, that’s stupid or was it? No it was, shut up frank.
I decided against having a smoke and turned around to go back into the school. As I reached the door I glanced behind me one last time. Scanning the empty parking lot.
From the corner of my eye I noticed a small piece of paper. I picked it up turning it over in my hands; it was a picture of two boys.
I realized with a sudden stab of shock that it was a picture of me and Gerard, on our first day of secondary school. After examining the image I turned it over, on the back was a single sentence scribbled in what I remembered as Gerard’s messy scrawl. “Frankie, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. But there coming”.
I locked the bathroom door, sinking to the floor.
I felt the familiar lump rise in my throat.
I rubbed my eyes, trying to rid them of the tears that were collecting there. After a while I gave up. I let the tears full, and I cried. Just cried.
I don’t know how long I sat there. In my empty bathroom.
Finally I ran out of tears. My body was shaking, I felt weak.
I wanted to cry more, but I physically couldn’t.
There was nothing I could do no emotional outlet or was there? A thought came to my mind.
A lovely, deadly thought.
I sniffed as I stood up and walked over to the sink, reaching behind one of the lose tiles.
After a little bit of searching I felt the familiar cool edge of my razor.
I brought it out, turning over the small silver object in my hand, examining the sharp edge.
Slowly I reached my other hand over to the small object.
Extending one finger out and lightly dragging it down.
Blood started to seep through the wound and I smiled. Walking over to the toilet and sitting down. I positioned the blade on my right wrist, Making sure that I was going to be able to cover it with my sweat band.
I put the edge of the blade against my pale smooth skin. Then dragged it slowly over the surface. Watching as the skin sliced.
I was captivated by the slow spill of blood that dripped out of my wound. I felt a similar sense of ease wash over me, but it wasn’t enough. I needed more.
I cut five more lines in my wrist parallel to the first one.
There was quit a bit of blood by now. It was dripping down my fingers and onto the white tiled floor, staining it with small spots of deep crimson red.
I started to feel light headed and I smiled again.
I couldn’t even remember why I was sad in the first place.
I decided that one more slice couldn’t hurt; I put the blade at the top of my forearm and dragged it slowly down my whole arm, slicing again thought the other six wounds on my arm stopping just before I got to my wrist.
There was a lot of blood now.
I knew I was in trouble, sure I had cut before, I had cut many, many times before, but the last time it was this bad I nearly died.
The room started to swim in front of me.
I tried to reach the bathroom door but didn’t win, I slipped and braced myself as I fell towards the floor, but the impact never came.
Instead someone caught me.
I tried to focus on whoever it was that was there with me. But everything was blurry. The last thing I remember before passing out was a boy, with long black hair, pick me up, like a baby.
“I’m sorry I’m so sorry” was the last thing I heard before the darkness took me completely.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
SOOOOO that was two. hope you liked
review good, bad, shit?
how can i improve
thanks
xox
rose
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