Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Push
I’m breathing hard, and the room is spinning at one thousand miles an hour. I feel my face paling, changing color. Frankie watches me, with worried and frightened eyes.
Just as I begin to say, “I’m gonna be sick again,” Frank darts off the bed and grabs his trash can off the floor, putting it in my lap in just over one second. His timing was perfect; I open my mouth and throw up again, maybe even worse than before. I can tell Frankie is debating about whether or not he should come near me. After only a few seconds, he slides up next to me, wrapping an arm around me, cupping my forehead and holding my hair back. I feel embarrassed enough, having just kissed him, and now I’m throwing up while he holds me. My stomach heaves again, and I lean further into the trash can.
Frankie doesn’t say anything this time, he just holds me. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. He just waits, holding me tightly, breathing softly.
Panic is taking me, making it hard to get any air as I get sick. I try to take some in, but none comes.
“Breathe Gee, breathe,” Frankie says quietly. I try to calm down, focusing on his gentle voice. After a moment, I can stop getting throwing up long enough to draw a shaky breath.
“That’s it Gee. Just breathe.” Frank says repeatedly.
It takes a little bit, but eventually, I stop. My breathing feels shallow. I close my eyes tightly, wishing I could black out right this moment. Unfortunately, I stay conscious.
I hear Frankie get up, I think to get rid of the nasty contents of the trash can. I try to breathe more normally as I hear him come back, climbing back onto the bed.
“Here,” he says, handing me a water bottle, and a stick of gum. I take both, taking a small sip of water and putting the gum in my mouth as quickly as I can. Then there’s nothing to do, to put it off. We just stare at each other.
I can’t think. It’s too hard. I just know that I kissed Frankie, out of nowhere.
“You can go to sleep, if you want,” Frank says sort of awkwardly. I’m immediately relieved. We don’t have to talk yet.
“Ok. Thanks Frank.” I say, as I lean back onto his bed, letting sleep take me over, like I’ve been wanting it too.
I see him sigh, and stand up, walking out of the room.
Frankie’s POV
What the fuck? I walk out of my room, taking one more look at Gerard. I run downstairs, slamming my fist against the wall.
What’s wrong with me?
Why did I like that? Why did he feel so good?
Do I like him, that way? I love Evangeline. I know I love Evangeline. So how can I possibly like him?
My hands are shaking as I walk into my kitchen, taking a small knife out of the bottom of the drawer. I can see the tint of red on its’ edge, and then the bright red as I pull up my shirt and slide it smoothly along the already ripped skin there. I bite my lip, embracing the pain that takes away everything else.
I shut my eyes, embarrassed to be crying, even though nobody can see me. The tears fall, mixing with the blood and turning pale pink.
What’s wrong with me?
Gerard’s POV
I wake up, who knows when; sometime later. My head kills; I wonder why?
I don’t even think about the pain though; the first thing I think about it the fact that Frank and I kissed.
What the hell was I doing? I don’t like Frankie? Do I?
Fuck no, I tell myself. I love Nicole. I’m positive about that. And I’m also positive Frankie is in love with Evangeline.
But I can’t help but remember how good he felt. He didn’t feel wrong at all. But I don’t know if he felt right. I don’t know what’s right.
I’ve wondered about it before; being bi-sexual. But I never really thought I was. Could I be?
UGH! I shake my head back and forth quickly. I can’t believe this happened. I can’t believe I kissed him. And I can’t believe I’m sort of wishing I could kiss him again.
I groan, and just as I do, Frank appears at the doorway. Fuck.
“Hi.” I say lamely.
“Hey.” Frankie says. He looks around the room for a moment, then comes and sits on the edge of the bed.
“So,” he says, and I know he’ll be the one to start it. He always is. “How come you kissed me?”
“I don’t…I don’t know. I was drunk Frank.” I say, and I swear, I see a little bit of disappointment in his eyes. Words pop out of my mouth. “Did you like it?”
Frankie bites his lip, and nods once after a moment. “Did you?”
“Uhuh.” I say, looking into his eyes.
“Do you…like me…that way?” It’s odd to hear Frank sound so awkward.
“I don’t know.” I’m whispering, for no reason.
“I don’t either.” Frank says, not looking me in the eye.
“I was drunk Frankie.” I tell him again, trying to stress this, just as much to myself as to him. “I think it was just…an accident.” He nods as I speak.
“Yeah.” He nods again. “We don’t have to talk about it any more. I just wanted to know…” He trails off, leaving the sentence to hang. “Are you ok?”
I snort and shrug. “I guess so.”
“Good.” He pauses for a little bit, tracing patterns with his hand on the covers of the bed.
“We don’t have to talk about it any more…or tell anyone.” He still makes circles with his fingers on the sheets.
“Ok.” I say, still talking much quieter than normal. “Thank you Frank. For letting me crash here, and for putting up with my puking and everything…” I feel myself blushing. I’m still embarrassed about that.
“It’s cool.” Frankie says. “You’d do the same for me.”
“Yeah. Yeah, I would.”
Alright people....R and R
Just as I begin to say, “I’m gonna be sick again,” Frank darts off the bed and grabs his trash can off the floor, putting it in my lap in just over one second. His timing was perfect; I open my mouth and throw up again, maybe even worse than before. I can tell Frankie is debating about whether or not he should come near me. After only a few seconds, he slides up next to me, wrapping an arm around me, cupping my forehead and holding my hair back. I feel embarrassed enough, having just kissed him, and now I’m throwing up while he holds me. My stomach heaves again, and I lean further into the trash can.
Frankie doesn’t say anything this time, he just holds me. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. He just waits, holding me tightly, breathing softly.
Panic is taking me, making it hard to get any air as I get sick. I try to take some in, but none comes.
“Breathe Gee, breathe,” Frankie says quietly. I try to calm down, focusing on his gentle voice. After a moment, I can stop getting throwing up long enough to draw a shaky breath.
“That’s it Gee. Just breathe.” Frank says repeatedly.
It takes a little bit, but eventually, I stop. My breathing feels shallow. I close my eyes tightly, wishing I could black out right this moment. Unfortunately, I stay conscious.
I hear Frankie get up, I think to get rid of the nasty contents of the trash can. I try to breathe more normally as I hear him come back, climbing back onto the bed.
“Here,” he says, handing me a water bottle, and a stick of gum. I take both, taking a small sip of water and putting the gum in my mouth as quickly as I can. Then there’s nothing to do, to put it off. We just stare at each other.
I can’t think. It’s too hard. I just know that I kissed Frankie, out of nowhere.
“You can go to sleep, if you want,” Frank says sort of awkwardly. I’m immediately relieved. We don’t have to talk yet.
“Ok. Thanks Frank.” I say, as I lean back onto his bed, letting sleep take me over, like I’ve been wanting it too.
I see him sigh, and stand up, walking out of the room.
Frankie’s POV
What the fuck? I walk out of my room, taking one more look at Gerard. I run downstairs, slamming my fist against the wall.
What’s wrong with me?
Why did I like that? Why did he feel so good?
Do I like him, that way? I love Evangeline. I know I love Evangeline. So how can I possibly like him?
My hands are shaking as I walk into my kitchen, taking a small knife out of the bottom of the drawer. I can see the tint of red on its’ edge, and then the bright red as I pull up my shirt and slide it smoothly along the already ripped skin there. I bite my lip, embracing the pain that takes away everything else.
I shut my eyes, embarrassed to be crying, even though nobody can see me. The tears fall, mixing with the blood and turning pale pink.
What’s wrong with me?
Gerard’s POV
I wake up, who knows when; sometime later. My head kills; I wonder why?
I don’t even think about the pain though; the first thing I think about it the fact that Frank and I kissed.
What the hell was I doing? I don’t like Frankie? Do I?
Fuck no, I tell myself. I love Nicole. I’m positive about that. And I’m also positive Frankie is in love with Evangeline.
But I can’t help but remember how good he felt. He didn’t feel wrong at all. But I don’t know if he felt right. I don’t know what’s right.
I’ve wondered about it before; being bi-sexual. But I never really thought I was. Could I be?
UGH! I shake my head back and forth quickly. I can’t believe this happened. I can’t believe I kissed him. And I can’t believe I’m sort of wishing I could kiss him again.
I groan, and just as I do, Frank appears at the doorway. Fuck.
“Hi.” I say lamely.
“Hey.” Frankie says. He looks around the room for a moment, then comes and sits on the edge of the bed.
“So,” he says, and I know he’ll be the one to start it. He always is. “How come you kissed me?”
“I don’t…I don’t know. I was drunk Frank.” I say, and I swear, I see a little bit of disappointment in his eyes. Words pop out of my mouth. “Did you like it?”
Frankie bites his lip, and nods once after a moment. “Did you?”
“Uhuh.” I say, looking into his eyes.
“Do you…like me…that way?” It’s odd to hear Frank sound so awkward.
“I don’t know.” I’m whispering, for no reason.
“I don’t either.” Frank says, not looking me in the eye.
“I was drunk Frankie.” I tell him again, trying to stress this, just as much to myself as to him. “I think it was just…an accident.” He nods as I speak.
“Yeah.” He nods again. “We don’t have to talk about it any more. I just wanted to know…” He trails off, leaving the sentence to hang. “Are you ok?”
I snort and shrug. “I guess so.”
“Good.” He pauses for a little bit, tracing patterns with his hand on the covers of the bed.
“We don’t have to talk about it any more…or tell anyone.” He still makes circles with his fingers on the sheets.
“Ok.” I say, still talking much quieter than normal. “Thank you Frank. For letting me crash here, and for putting up with my puking and everything…” I feel myself blushing. I’m still embarrassed about that.
“It’s cool.” Frankie says. “You’d do the same for me.”
“Yeah. Yeah, I would.”
Alright people....R and R
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