Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > And I'll End This Direst: a Frerard story
sorry i took so long with the update! here's where it starts to get good =)
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Frank's POV
I blinked back at him in shock: what did he mean, ‘I can’t do this?’
“Do what, Gee?” I asked, wiping away a dried tearstain on his face with my thumb. It wasn’t like we were about to do anything on his bed anyway.
“This, Frank. You and me,” he said breathlessly.
“What are you talking about? You don’t want there to be a you and me?” I asked, feeling more and more dejected by the second. My face burned with embarrassment; this might even been worse than getting called on in class.
“No, I want there to be a you and me. I want you, Frank.”
I was overjoyed to hear this-so he had missed me! I nearly squealed like a little girl, but I remembered we were having a conversation about why we couldn’t be together. What was the problem?
“Gee, that’s all that matters. You want me, and I need you.”
“Don’t say that; it only makes this harder,” he said, turning his head to look at me in the darkness. “We can’t be together because of Mikey. He’s winning again, Frankie. I wouldn’t be able to take not having you around anymore. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I let you go, too.”
It finally dawned on me what he was trying to say. He loved me, but he didn’t want to because he didn’t want to re-live his past and have somebody he loved die. I realized part of the reason he wanted to stay mad at me was so that I would stop loving him. If the person he loved didn’t love him back, then there wouldn’t be as much sadness when that person was gone. It was cowardly as hell, but it was Gerard, and this revelation moved me. I pulled Gerard closer and hugged him tightly.
“Gerard, nothing can make me stop loving you,” I said, trying to sound like I wasn’t about to cry. It wasn’t working.
“No, Frank, you don’t understand,” was his response. I leaned over and kissed the top of his head, as he had his face buried in the crook of my neck. I felt my bare shoulder get wet, and I knew he was starting to reminisce with his memories again.
“Yes, I do. I understand now,” I told him, tucking some of his hair behind his ear like I did earlier. I tried to keep my voice as calm as I could, which was difficult considering I just learned I was about to suffer an unimaginable fate due to Mikey and Eric. “I understand now, and I want you to know that I don’t care.” Oops, didn’t mean for it to come out like that. “I don’t care what they do,” I said quickly, covering it up. “I am not afraid to keep on living. Nothing they can do can stop me being with you.”
“Frank…” he started to protest.
“No, Gee, I mean it. I’ll to whatever it takes to help you get through this. They can try, but they’ll never break me. Or you, I promise.”
“So you’re not leaving me?”
“You’re crazy,” I replied, pulling his chin up and pecking him on the lips. He kissed back, but instead of pulling away, I felt him run his tongue across my bottom lip, stopping to play with my lip ring. I had never done this before, but I opened my mouth a little and his tongue met mine. He explored the inside of my mouth for a few seconds, running over my teeth and the roof of my mouth. It was different than anything I’d ever done, but I thought I liked it.
I pushed his tongue back and explored his mouth; this time my tongue was the one running over his tiny, smooth teeth. After pulling away after a while to get some air, he squeezed me closer and said, “Thank you, Frankie.”
Gerard’s POV
I woke up the next morning expecting a killer headache; it never came. I kept my eyes closed; I wasn’t hung over? I blinked my eyes to confirm that I wasn’t dreaming. Or was I? I must have to be, since Frankie was sleeping beside me, curled up by my side. I tried to remember what happened the night before. I hadn’t gotten drunk, I hadn’t gone to school… was it possible nothing happened yesterday?
No, I remembered what happened yesterday: I skipped school, went to some baseball diamond near my house, and met a kid named Bob. Then I came home and saw Frank in my kitchen, and I think I got mad at him for stopping by. But I didn’t mind now; I was happier now then I had been in a long time, thanks to him.
I looked over at him; he didn’t look peaceful like everyone says people look when they sleep. Instead Frankie looked lost, almost dead. His eyebrows were furrowed, as if he were concentrating on something in the distance, and his lips were parted like he was trying to understand something I was explaining to him in science. Poor kid, he was helpless. I felt like I had to wake him up so he wouldn’t be asleep forever, but I didn’t want to because he was pretty when he concentrated.
I lied there for a few minutes, just looking at him, when I realized it was almost time for school. I lightly and unwillingly shook Frank awake, and he woke with a start, forgetting where he was. I smiled at him and pressed my lips to his, and he smiled back at me.
“Gee,” he said, wrapping his arms around me. “I missed you.”
I kissed him again. “I missed you, too, Frankie. We have to go to school now.” He groaned at this, and I smiled again. “Come on, let’s get ready.” We got out of bed and I realized I was still in yesterday’s clothes. I peeled my old shirt off and threw on a new one, doing the same with my jeans. I looked over at Frankie, who was still wearing nothing but boxers.
“Come on, babe, we’ve got to go,” I said, wondering what was taking him so long.
He shrugged and said, “I don’t have anything to wear. I didn’t know I would be staying with you last night.”
“Oh, I knew that,” I said. “You can borrow some of my clothes for today, if they’ll fit your short self.” He shot me a death glare, and I laughed.
“Thanks,” he said after I threw him a t-shirt and jeans. I laughed again as he put them on; Frankie looked rather ridiculous in baggy jeans.
“How do they look?” he joked.
I planted a kiss on his lips and replied, “Now are you finally ready to go?”
We went to the kitchen for breakfast to find a note from Grandma on the table. It said, “Gerard- Going to meet Donna and family at her new house in Hawthorne later today. They arrive around one. I’m at the store now. Have a good day at school; I love you. -Grandma. P.S. Tell Frankie that I love him too when you see him. XOXO.”
“God, I love her,” Frank commented absently, reading over my shoulder.
I nodded, still lost in the note. “They arrive around one. Oh, God.” I suddenly felt my knees go weak. “Mikey’s gonna be here earlier than I thought. Oh, God.”
“Gee, it’s okay.” Frank wrapped his arms around me, which also kept me from falling.
“My family hates Grandma because she volunteered to take me in when they disowned me. The fact that Grandma has to go meet them… she doesn’t deserve this,” I continued, sounding lost.
Frank tucked some of my hair behind my ear, brushing his fingertips across the top of my ear. Chills ran down my spine, but I continued worrying.
“Frankie, he’s coming today,” I told him, as if he didn’t already know. “He’s going to be here this weekend, just wait.” Frank tightened his grip around me, forcing me to turn and face him.
“Don’t worry, Gee, I’m here,” he whispered, his hot breath again sending chills through me. “I will always be here for you. Come on, let’s go to school.”
“No, I can’t,” I said, once again not wanting to face the people at school. Before, I skipped because I didn’t want to see Frank or Eric; now that I had Frankie back, I didn’t know what I was afraid of.
“What do you mean, you can’t?” Frank asked, looking concerned.
“I can’t go to school. I can’t take everyone today,” I replied.
“Of course you can; I’ll help you. Come on, let’s go before we’re late.” He gave me a kiss of reassurance before pulling me out the door.
Somehow he managed to drag me out of the house and halfway the distance to school before I even realized what happened. I was going to school for the first time in a few days, which didn’t sound like long at all, considering I used to skip for weeks at a time at my other schools.
Upon entering Jefferson Hill, I felt the glares of teachers and students, or was I just imagining it? Frankie saw that I was uncomfortable and slipped his hand in mine, despite the menacing, judging looks of everybody who saw. I knew it was a difficult feat for him, since he was still getting used to the idea, but I appreciated him even more for it.
God, last time I was here, I was hungover, I thought. So many wonderful memories. I remembered the fight in science and hoped I was suspended-or, even better, expelled. A squeeze of my hand from Frankie, however, reminded me that I didn’t want to get expelled, and suddenly we were facing our science class.
After taking a make-up make-up pop quiz (apparently I wasn’t here for the first make-up), I also learned I had a test in art. How the hell you have a test in art is beyond me. Eventually it was time for history.
I walked into history class three seconds late, but the teacher didn’t notice. I received a smile from Frankie, which brightened my shitty day. I smiled back and decided to switch up my assigned seat, sitting next to him for a change.
“How’s it going?” he asked.
“Great,” I laughed sarcastically, rolling my eyes.
“Mr. Way,” Mr. Cullen said from his desk. I looked up, startled.
“Yeah?”
“You were absent for a few days, Mr. Way. And it’s ‘yes, sir,’ not ‘yeah.’ Do you have a note explaining your absence?”
Shit, you had to have one of those for this school? “No,” I said, looking down at my desk.
“Well, bring one. Open your textbooks to page 281 and read the chapter on the Civil War.”
About twenty minutes later, I was dozing off over my Civil War chapter when I heard a loud snicker coming from behind me. Looking back, I saw a boy looking at his cell phone, no doubt texting someone. I turned back to my textbook and Frank caught my attention, his face bright red. I shot him a questioning look, and he mouthed the word, “Alex,” to me.
Alex? I looked back to the kid with the cell phone. Sure enough, that was Alex, the guy I punched the first day I met Frank. He was the reason Frankie even came to my house that day, and he was no doubt the homophobe Frank was afraid of, besides his ex-best friend Eric.
I looked back to Frank and placed my hand over his, rubbing my thumb in little circles over the back of his hand. He looked uneasy and glanced nervously at Alex out of the corner of his eye, shifting uncomfortably. Oh yeah, I forgot how afraid of Alex and other people Frank was. I jerked my hand back, trying not to look annoyed. He looked apologetic.
“If you don’t feel comfortable with this…” I began. I was surprised to see him shake his head and slowly bring his hand back to mine.
“No, that’s not it. It’s just…” He looked back at Alex again. This time I looked with him. Alex was just texting away on his phone.
“Babe, we handled him once. If he gives you any more bullshit, we’ll take care of him. I don’t want you taking any shit from anyone, understand?” He nodded, and I saw Alex turn to one of his friends and whisper something that made my blood turn to ice.
“Hey, did you know Mikey Way’s moving in today? I don’t know his brother very well, but apparently Eric wants us to help kill someone this weekend.”
Mikey’s POV
The car bumped to a stop outside our new house. I opened my eyes, awakened from my sleep. So here it was again: Jersey. I was about to begin a new life in an old place I didn’t like half as much as Chicago, but at least I knew a few old friends here.
Oh yeah: and a brother and his boyfriend. But not for long.
I got a new text from Eric telling me he wanted me to meet his friend Alex. Alex sounded like a pretty cool guy, and he also wanted to help get rid of my brother’s boyfriend and teach Gerard a lesson.
“Mom? Can we go see Gerard and Grandma Elena at their house soon? I haven’t seen them in a long time,” I asked in my pathetic-little-young-boy voice.
Mom sighed. “Okay, Mikes. We’ll go this weekend.” I smiled and texted Eric and Alex back with this answer.
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Frank's POV
I blinked back at him in shock: what did he mean, ‘I can’t do this?’
“Do what, Gee?” I asked, wiping away a dried tearstain on his face with my thumb. It wasn’t like we were about to do anything on his bed anyway.
“This, Frank. You and me,” he said breathlessly.
“What are you talking about? You don’t want there to be a you and me?” I asked, feeling more and more dejected by the second. My face burned with embarrassment; this might even been worse than getting called on in class.
“No, I want there to be a you and me. I want you, Frank.”
I was overjoyed to hear this-so he had missed me! I nearly squealed like a little girl, but I remembered we were having a conversation about why we couldn’t be together. What was the problem?
“Gee, that’s all that matters. You want me, and I need you.”
“Don’t say that; it only makes this harder,” he said, turning his head to look at me in the darkness. “We can’t be together because of Mikey. He’s winning again, Frankie. I wouldn’t be able to take not having you around anymore. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I let you go, too.”
It finally dawned on me what he was trying to say. He loved me, but he didn’t want to because he didn’t want to re-live his past and have somebody he loved die. I realized part of the reason he wanted to stay mad at me was so that I would stop loving him. If the person he loved didn’t love him back, then there wouldn’t be as much sadness when that person was gone. It was cowardly as hell, but it was Gerard, and this revelation moved me. I pulled Gerard closer and hugged him tightly.
“Gerard, nothing can make me stop loving you,” I said, trying to sound like I wasn’t about to cry. It wasn’t working.
“No, Frank, you don’t understand,” was his response. I leaned over and kissed the top of his head, as he had his face buried in the crook of my neck. I felt my bare shoulder get wet, and I knew he was starting to reminisce with his memories again.
“Yes, I do. I understand now,” I told him, tucking some of his hair behind his ear like I did earlier. I tried to keep my voice as calm as I could, which was difficult considering I just learned I was about to suffer an unimaginable fate due to Mikey and Eric. “I understand now, and I want you to know that I don’t care.” Oops, didn’t mean for it to come out like that. “I don’t care what they do,” I said quickly, covering it up. “I am not afraid to keep on living. Nothing they can do can stop me being with you.”
“Frank…” he started to protest.
“No, Gee, I mean it. I’ll to whatever it takes to help you get through this. They can try, but they’ll never break me. Or you, I promise.”
“So you’re not leaving me?”
“You’re crazy,” I replied, pulling his chin up and pecking him on the lips. He kissed back, but instead of pulling away, I felt him run his tongue across my bottom lip, stopping to play with my lip ring. I had never done this before, but I opened my mouth a little and his tongue met mine. He explored the inside of my mouth for a few seconds, running over my teeth and the roof of my mouth. It was different than anything I’d ever done, but I thought I liked it.
I pushed his tongue back and explored his mouth; this time my tongue was the one running over his tiny, smooth teeth. After pulling away after a while to get some air, he squeezed me closer and said, “Thank you, Frankie.”
Gerard’s POV
I woke up the next morning expecting a killer headache; it never came. I kept my eyes closed; I wasn’t hung over? I blinked my eyes to confirm that I wasn’t dreaming. Or was I? I must have to be, since Frankie was sleeping beside me, curled up by my side. I tried to remember what happened the night before. I hadn’t gotten drunk, I hadn’t gone to school… was it possible nothing happened yesterday?
No, I remembered what happened yesterday: I skipped school, went to some baseball diamond near my house, and met a kid named Bob. Then I came home and saw Frank in my kitchen, and I think I got mad at him for stopping by. But I didn’t mind now; I was happier now then I had been in a long time, thanks to him.
I looked over at him; he didn’t look peaceful like everyone says people look when they sleep. Instead Frankie looked lost, almost dead. His eyebrows were furrowed, as if he were concentrating on something in the distance, and his lips were parted like he was trying to understand something I was explaining to him in science. Poor kid, he was helpless. I felt like I had to wake him up so he wouldn’t be asleep forever, but I didn’t want to because he was pretty when he concentrated.
I lied there for a few minutes, just looking at him, when I realized it was almost time for school. I lightly and unwillingly shook Frank awake, and he woke with a start, forgetting where he was. I smiled at him and pressed my lips to his, and he smiled back at me.
“Gee,” he said, wrapping his arms around me. “I missed you.”
I kissed him again. “I missed you, too, Frankie. We have to go to school now.” He groaned at this, and I smiled again. “Come on, let’s get ready.” We got out of bed and I realized I was still in yesterday’s clothes. I peeled my old shirt off and threw on a new one, doing the same with my jeans. I looked over at Frankie, who was still wearing nothing but boxers.
“Come on, babe, we’ve got to go,” I said, wondering what was taking him so long.
He shrugged and said, “I don’t have anything to wear. I didn’t know I would be staying with you last night.”
“Oh, I knew that,” I said. “You can borrow some of my clothes for today, if they’ll fit your short self.” He shot me a death glare, and I laughed.
“Thanks,” he said after I threw him a t-shirt and jeans. I laughed again as he put them on; Frankie looked rather ridiculous in baggy jeans.
“How do they look?” he joked.
I planted a kiss on his lips and replied, “Now are you finally ready to go?”
We went to the kitchen for breakfast to find a note from Grandma on the table. It said, “Gerard- Going to meet Donna and family at her new house in Hawthorne later today. They arrive around one. I’m at the store now. Have a good day at school; I love you. -Grandma. P.S. Tell Frankie that I love him too when you see him. XOXO.”
“God, I love her,” Frank commented absently, reading over my shoulder.
I nodded, still lost in the note. “They arrive around one. Oh, God.” I suddenly felt my knees go weak. “Mikey’s gonna be here earlier than I thought. Oh, God.”
“Gee, it’s okay.” Frank wrapped his arms around me, which also kept me from falling.
“My family hates Grandma because she volunteered to take me in when they disowned me. The fact that Grandma has to go meet them… she doesn’t deserve this,” I continued, sounding lost.
Frank tucked some of my hair behind my ear, brushing his fingertips across the top of my ear. Chills ran down my spine, but I continued worrying.
“Frankie, he’s coming today,” I told him, as if he didn’t already know. “He’s going to be here this weekend, just wait.” Frank tightened his grip around me, forcing me to turn and face him.
“Don’t worry, Gee, I’m here,” he whispered, his hot breath again sending chills through me. “I will always be here for you. Come on, let’s go to school.”
“No, I can’t,” I said, once again not wanting to face the people at school. Before, I skipped because I didn’t want to see Frank or Eric; now that I had Frankie back, I didn’t know what I was afraid of.
“What do you mean, you can’t?” Frank asked, looking concerned.
“I can’t go to school. I can’t take everyone today,” I replied.
“Of course you can; I’ll help you. Come on, let’s go before we’re late.” He gave me a kiss of reassurance before pulling me out the door.
Somehow he managed to drag me out of the house and halfway the distance to school before I even realized what happened. I was going to school for the first time in a few days, which didn’t sound like long at all, considering I used to skip for weeks at a time at my other schools.
Upon entering Jefferson Hill, I felt the glares of teachers and students, or was I just imagining it? Frankie saw that I was uncomfortable and slipped his hand in mine, despite the menacing, judging looks of everybody who saw. I knew it was a difficult feat for him, since he was still getting used to the idea, but I appreciated him even more for it.
God, last time I was here, I was hungover, I thought. So many wonderful memories. I remembered the fight in science and hoped I was suspended-or, even better, expelled. A squeeze of my hand from Frankie, however, reminded me that I didn’t want to get expelled, and suddenly we were facing our science class.
After taking a make-up make-up pop quiz (apparently I wasn’t here for the first make-up), I also learned I had a test in art. How the hell you have a test in art is beyond me. Eventually it was time for history.
I walked into history class three seconds late, but the teacher didn’t notice. I received a smile from Frankie, which brightened my shitty day. I smiled back and decided to switch up my assigned seat, sitting next to him for a change.
“How’s it going?” he asked.
“Great,” I laughed sarcastically, rolling my eyes.
“Mr. Way,” Mr. Cullen said from his desk. I looked up, startled.
“Yeah?”
“You were absent for a few days, Mr. Way. And it’s ‘yes, sir,’ not ‘yeah.’ Do you have a note explaining your absence?”
Shit, you had to have one of those for this school? “No,” I said, looking down at my desk.
“Well, bring one. Open your textbooks to page 281 and read the chapter on the Civil War.”
About twenty minutes later, I was dozing off over my Civil War chapter when I heard a loud snicker coming from behind me. Looking back, I saw a boy looking at his cell phone, no doubt texting someone. I turned back to my textbook and Frank caught my attention, his face bright red. I shot him a questioning look, and he mouthed the word, “Alex,” to me.
Alex? I looked back to the kid with the cell phone. Sure enough, that was Alex, the guy I punched the first day I met Frank. He was the reason Frankie even came to my house that day, and he was no doubt the homophobe Frank was afraid of, besides his ex-best friend Eric.
I looked back to Frank and placed my hand over his, rubbing my thumb in little circles over the back of his hand. He looked uneasy and glanced nervously at Alex out of the corner of his eye, shifting uncomfortably. Oh yeah, I forgot how afraid of Alex and other people Frank was. I jerked my hand back, trying not to look annoyed. He looked apologetic.
“If you don’t feel comfortable with this…” I began. I was surprised to see him shake his head and slowly bring his hand back to mine.
“No, that’s not it. It’s just…” He looked back at Alex again. This time I looked with him. Alex was just texting away on his phone.
“Babe, we handled him once. If he gives you any more bullshit, we’ll take care of him. I don’t want you taking any shit from anyone, understand?” He nodded, and I saw Alex turn to one of his friends and whisper something that made my blood turn to ice.
“Hey, did you know Mikey Way’s moving in today? I don’t know his brother very well, but apparently Eric wants us to help kill someone this weekend.”
Mikey’s POV
The car bumped to a stop outside our new house. I opened my eyes, awakened from my sleep. So here it was again: Jersey. I was about to begin a new life in an old place I didn’t like half as much as Chicago, but at least I knew a few old friends here.
Oh yeah: and a brother and his boyfriend. But not for long.
I got a new text from Eric telling me he wanted me to meet his friend Alex. Alex sounded like a pretty cool guy, and he also wanted to help get rid of my brother’s boyfriend and teach Gerard a lesson.
“Mom? Can we go see Gerard and Grandma Elena at their house soon? I haven’t seen them in a long time,” I asked in my pathetic-little-young-boy voice.
Mom sighed. “Okay, Mikes. We’ll go this weekend.” I smiled and texted Eric and Alex back with this answer.
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