FicWad

Ok. Here's one I absolutely thought needed to be told. I keep imagining how Gerard must be feeling, with the birth of his child inching closer and closer every day. Here's my interpretation of it.....

“Thank you! Goodnight!” I blew a flamboyant kiss to the crowd and turned on my heel, grabbing the mike stand and carrying with me as I made the traditional dramatic exit. SummerSonic was going perfectly; the crowd was completely in love with the two new songs; summer jams off the new album. It felt so amazing to be back in the game. It was just as good as we all remembered; and being a little more mature gave it a new edge that we had missed before.

The edge wasn’t the only new thing though. Lyn-Z was due soon. My phone never left my pocket, and if I didn’t have pants with a pocket, it went wherever it would fit and stay. I was eagerly awaiting the call, and while I was happy to be performing again, it was killing me to be halfway across the world from her, and my baby. I was ready to hop a plane the moment she called. All the boys were gonna come too; go figure. It was sort of their baby too. Frankie was still biting at me for godfather, and I was going to give it to him, but I haven’t told him about that yet.

The moment I we were all offstage, I immediately checked my phone, but I hadn’t missed any calls or texts. Part of me was a little disappointed, but I just took a deep breath and told myself to be patient for the millionth time. Ray read my mind as he walked up behind me after putting his guitar on a rack.

“She’ll call you Gee. Be patient. Checking your phone every other minute isn’t gonna make the baby come any faster.”

“I know,” I sighed, sliding my phone into my pocket, where it strained against my tight pants. “I just don’t wanna miss it.”

“You won’t miss it,” Mikey said as he patted me on the shoulder. “And we won’t either. Just chill.” Easy for Mikey to say. “Let’s go get some coffee.” That’s Mikey’s answer for everything.

We thanked everyone, and headed out the back, avoiding the mass of fans. We got in the Jeep that we had rented, driving over to a Starbucks. They have a lot of Starbucks in Japan. One of the better things about the country.

We got out of the car, walking into the store. I wore big sunglasses so that no one knows who I am, and the other guys take similar precautions, pulling up hoods, brushing hair in front of their eyes. I laughed as I watched Mikey inhale deeply and grin at me once we were inside. I guess I really didn’t have a right to laugh, because I did the same exact thing; it was just funnier when Mikey did it.

We all placed our orders, waiting by the pick up spot for our drinks. Mine came first, and I was in the middle of taking a huge sip of it when my phone rang. I was enjoying my coffee, so I didn’t think about who it might be as I pulled it out of my pocket and answered, “Hello?”

“I don’t have much…time….” There’s gasping on the other end of the line, and some moans. “The baby’s coming…see you soon.” My wife hung up the phone.

My coffee cup slipped through my fingers, spraying everyone around me as it fell onto the tile. There were indignant cries, but I barely heard them. I stumbled, and gripped Mikey’s arm for support.

“Gee? Are you ok?” He asked me worriedly.

“The baby’s coming.” I said in a dazed voice.

Mikey’s eyes widened, and the other boys moved to us.

“What are we waiting for,” Frankie said excitedly. “Let’s go.”

I was still in a trance like state as they took their coffees and walked briskly to the car. I heard Ray calling an airport and using crappy Japanese to ask for someone who spoke English. Then I listened as I he asked for five tickets on the next plane to Los Angeles. He thanked the person and hung up.

He looked back at me from the front seat. “Good news Gee. Next flight is in two hours.”

“Good.” I said quietly.

“I can’t fucking believe it Gee. You’re gonna be a dad. In a matter of hours.” Bob shook his head back and forth as he sped towards the airport.

I was expecting elation, elation and adrenaline to be coursing through my veins at this moment. I’d been waiting. For nine months, I’d been waiting for this moment. And now, as Bob had said, hours away from being a father, I felt nothing but ice cold terror. I’d never felt fear like this in my entire life. I had goosebumps, rising up on my arms, the back of my neck. I was trembling.

Frankie felt it, from his seat beside me. He put a hand on my shoulder. “Easy Gee. Don’t get too excited.”

If only he knew, there was no excitement. I was frightened out of my mind. I was going to fail at this. I’d been dreaming about this, about how wonderful it was going to be. But the only thing that I could keep thinking was fuck. This is wrong. I can’t be a father. I can barely take care of myself for Christ’s sake. How am I supposed to raise a child?

My breathing was dangerously close to hyperventilation as we got out of the car and went into the airport. We walked up to the kiosk, getting tickets from a young looking asian girl with bright blue highlights.

I heard Ray say something to her and she smiled at me. “New father, yeah? You do so good.” Another flash of her teeth.

But you’re so wrong, I wanted to tell her. I was going to fail. How had I not thought about that? Had I been high without knowing it for the last nine months, thinking that I could do this? It was completely impossible. I didn’t know shit about kids. I was going to ruin everything.

By the time we got our tickets and began walking towards our gate, I was feeling increasingly worse, to the point of nausea. We had just sat down on the gate when they guys finally noticed that something was wrong.

“Gee? You ok? You don’t look so good.” Ray said worriedly as he looked me over.

I shook my head, standing up. “No. I’m gonna be sick.” I jetted towards the bathroom, flinging myself past the people, going to the last stall. The door banged against the frame, and I heard quick footsteps behind me as I doubled over, vomiting violently into the toilet. Someone put a gentle hand on my back, whispering soothingly, though I had no idea what they were saying.

When I was through, I sank to the ground, clutching my stomach tightly. I always got stomach aches when I was stressed out; something that had started when I was a kid. Now the pain was stifling, making me shut my eyes tightly, and grit my teeth to keep from crying.

The only way I knew that it was my brother in the stall with me was his voice.

“Gee, what’s wrong?” He said, sounding scared.

“I can’t do this Mikey,” I moaned to him, trying to peel my eyes open. “ I can’t do this!”

“What? What can’t you do Gee?”

I curled into a ball, bringing my knees to my chest. “I can’t be a father!” I said to him, forcing myself to look at him. His face was worried. “I can’t even take care of myself, and I don’t know what to do for Lyn-Z half the time! I’m gonna be a bad example, I’m gonna ruin my kid’s life. I’m-“

“Gee, stop that!” Mikey said, somewhat anxiously, and somewhat frustrated. “That’s bullshit. You can totally do this! I know you! You’ll be an amazing dad.”

“No, no. I won’t, I can’t-“

“Gee, yes you can.” Mikey said, slightly exasperated. “Remember the time that mom and dad were gone and I fell off our bunk bed and broke my arm? You were scared then too, remember? But you handled it perfect. You were so good to me Gee; You held me, and got a pillow for my arm and called mom and dad. You were just ten. And the time when Frank got so wasted, and you stayed with him the whole next day and took care of him? If you can do that, you can do this. I know you can.” Mikey spoke with such conviction, it was impossible not to believe him. The speech had worked. I was feeling more confident. Maybe this was something I could do.

“Now come on,” Mikey said, after he gave me a moment to calm down and process everything that he’d said. “We’ve gotta go on the plane.”

We walked back just in time, having to board the plane immediately. I was still scared, but much, much better than before. All the guys kept telling me what a good dad I was gonna be, giving me boosts on my moral. By the time that we got to L.A., I was almost normal.

We rushed up to the hospital, to the room where Lyn-Z was. Just in time too. She’d just gone into labor only fifteen minutes before we got there. I was the only one allowed inside, and when I walked through the doorway, she was screaming my name. I gripped her hand tightly, squeezing it, getting all the fear out of my system. She didn’t even notice through all the pain. I took deep breaths, telling her I loved her, and that she was doing great.

“I see the head!” One of the doctors cried out, and it was like an electric shock ran through my body. A minute later, there was a baby in the doctor’s hands. Lyn-Z was gasping, but smiling, and conscious enough to hear the doctor say, “It’s a girl!”

Lyn-Z nudged me, and I moved towards the doctor, taking our newborn child from his arms and into mine. I stared down at the tiny face, the wailing child. It had thick dark hair, and pale skin just like mine. I felt tears gushing down my cheeks as I turned to look at my wife, who smiled at me.

A random thought coursed through my head, and just before my wife passed out, I whispered, “Please, can we name her Charley?”

Lyn-Z smiled, and nodded, before closing her eyes.

I kissed my wife on the forehead, before turning every ounce of my attention back to the perfect child in my arms. “Charley.” I whispered to her. “I’m gonna take care of you baby. I can do this.”

Did you like it???? I hope so. I loved writing it. It was moving for me, and I have no intention of having kids...please, pretty please Rate and Review!!!!!!!I love you all!