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Okiedokie, guyseseses. I'm in a super good and hyper mood right now, so I'm gonna make this as good as I can and not be all stupid and blarg. (: I think that it'll be good and set up Ray's character a bit more.. But who knows? I can think it'll go one way, but once I'm typing it it veers to the left and the right and down and across and diagonal and every which way, and yeah, so just read it. Ilyyy guys! So hereee goes it, Chapter seventeeeeen.

God! What have I done?! This is horrible! I think as I look to Mikey and Ray who are gazing into each others eyes and I swear theres drool forming on Mikey's lips. Ew. This definitely was not a good idea.

I know you fucking idiot, how stupid can you be?
But he's my brother and I wanted to make hi- and why am I arguing with you?
Because you looove me, 'cause your a faggot, remember?
Ha-Ha-Ha. Fuck you, shut up.
Ouch.

I look at the two trailing behind us and cringe, taking my gaze over to Frank who is obviously trying hard not to look behind him as well.

I lean over to whisper in his ear, "Do you think this is a good idea?"
"It's doubtful.. But who knows.. They seem to have uh.. hit it off really quickly." Frank said, darting his eyes quickly to the side to take a glimpse at Mikey and Ray, who are now so close that I wonder how they're still able to walk without falling over one another.
"..Sadly."
"Oh cheer up, at least your brothers.. Happy." Frank said awkwardly.
"Yeah yeah yeah, but still.. Ew."

"I can hear you, fool." Mikey shouted at me.
"Good, queen." I retort.
"Ha, remember when I called you that?"
"What? When?"
"When you were all obsessed with Frank and wanted to look good for him and ask if you looked good, and then-"
"MIKEY! Shut the fuck up or I'll kick you in the balls so hard you'll have a vagina!"
"Dude, chill. You can't hurt him." Ray said defensively. I wasn't about to fight with Ray because he was larger then me, and just a bit creepy, so I turned around to see Frank trying not to laugh.
"What?" I say.
"I'll kick you in the balls so hard you'll have a vagina?!?" Frank said, voice cracking, face turning slightly red from keeping from laughing.
"You've never heard that one?" I laugh.
"Not until now!" Frank practically yelled as he finally gave in and start to laugh hysterically, receiving a few weird looks from random people on the street.
"Wow, Frankie. You're hilarious." I say, shaking my head and laughing at him.
"ME? You!" He replies, still laughing heartily.
"Oookay. Well we're at the library.. Lets uhh.. go in, I guess." I tell the two behind me.
"Whatever." Mikey says dreamily, never taking his eyes off of Ray, and his hair. "How do you do that?" He says to Ray.
"Do what?"
"Your hair. It's mesmerizing. I love it." Mikey says as if hes in a trance, and goes up to touch it slowly.
"I just leave it. It's naturally that way." Ray says, acting as though it were completely normal that Mikey's hands were feeling his Afro.
"Wow." Mikey says like a kid going to Disney World for the first time.
"Well, we'd better get inside.."

What? Is it going to close? It's 4PM, it's the fucking library. Shut the hell up.
Ugh. You are a bastard, do you know that?
Pretty much, yeah. But I'm just you, so technically that makes you a bastard, not me.
No no, you're not me, you're the annoying voice in my head.
THAT sounds normal.. If I had eyes they'd look at you strangely right now.
You're so gay.
No, that's you.
I thought you were me.
You said I wasn't.
Well.. You know what? Shut up.
Nice one.

We walk into the library and it's huge. I don't remember it being so big.


That's what she said.
That's what HE said. He-he.
Gross.
You're moms gr-
Don't even.

There's books lining every walls, every inch is filled with them. It's an overwhelming feeling to be surrounded by so much literature. I feel stupid now, because I know I haven't even read a fourth.. or a half of a fourth.. of these books.

"Well.. Me and Ray are gonna go and umm.. Explore this place.. Bye!" Mikey says hurriedly, dragging Ray to some random place that's so filled with books that I can't see either of them anymore. I shudder thinking about what they're probably thinking about. Gross gross gross.

"So what are we supposed to do here?" Frank says, sounding as overwhelmed as I feel.
"Uhh.. I dunno. Maybe we could just walk around and look at books we find interesting?"

Lame ass homo.
Well what else are we supposed to do?
How should I know? You're the one who suggested this dumb ass place.

"Or.. We could go find the bathroom." Frank says with a wink, and by the time what he said had registered, Frank was pulling me toward the restroom sign.

"Frank, it's the library!. What if some old lady librarian comes in and see us?"
"This is the men's room." He replies smoothly.
I sigh, "what if some old man librarian comes in and-"
"There is no old man librarian in this library." Frank interrupts.
"But-"
"Do you not want to or something? Cuz I can leave." Frank says, sounding slightly agitated.
"No no, Frankie. You know I do, but I'm just nervous.. This is a public place.. The public doesn't approve of-"
"Of being gay? I'm not gay, so that doesn't matter."
"What?" I say confused.
"I'm-Not-Gay." He repeats.
"..Then.. What?" I say, even more confused.
"I still like girls, but I like you. Not 'guys' just you."
"Are you saying I'm not a guy?" I say, which I know sounds stupid but I'm still confused.
"Noooo. I'm saying that the only guy I am attracted to, is you. Not guys in general." He says, drawing out each word as if he were explaining it to a four year old.
"I.. I don't get it."

Wow you really are dumb, aren't you?

"Lets say that you could call me 'bisexual'. But only for you. If that makes any sense."
"I thought you said you love me?"
"Oh I do, Gerard, I do. A lot, a lot a lot." Frank says reassuringly, wrapping his arms tightly around me. I can't help but smile, and return the embrace.
"Don't scare me like that, Frankie." I mumble into his neck.
"I'm sorry, Gee. I do love you, and only you 'Kay?" Frank says, pulling me back to look into his eyes, but still holding on to me.
"Okay, I get it now." I say, leaning forward and brushing my lips slightly against his when I hear the bathroom door open and see an old man walk in.
"What are you two doing in here?!" He exclaims.
"Uhh.. he had something by his mouth?" I say.

Wow, that was so thought out.

"I'm kicking you out of this library. Get out now!" The man yelled.
"Who are you to kick us out?" Frank shouted back.
"I'm the librarian, now GET OUT!" He said, coming closer with a threatening look on his face. I push Frank through the door and whisper "I told you there was old men librarians!" He laughs and takes my hand. We leave the library and sit on the bench outside.

Frank rests his arm around me and I put my head on his shoulder. We get some looks of disgust from people but I try not to let it bother me, even though it does a little. I don't like a lot of attention.

"How long do you think they'll be?" Frank asks after a while.
"Who knows. Depends on if the old man librarian sees them fucking on top of the books."
"Oh gosh. That's a horrible image."
"If it's horrible to you, image what it is to me! He's my brother!" I cringe. It seems like I've been cringing a lot today.
"True. I didn't think of that. Sorry, Gee." Frank says, kissing the top of my head.
I giggle, "It's okay. I'll be fine.. Maybe."
Frank smiles and looks to the library doors, I follow his eyes and see Mikey and Ray being thrown out of the library looking flushed.

Oh God.
Tell me about it.
Ew why would you want me to tell you about that? Pedophile!
Very funny.
Yes, yes, I know.

Once they reached ear shot, I yell "Why'd you guys get thrown out?"
Mikey looks down and Ray says quietly "We'd rather not discuss this at the time."
They pass the bench up and continue to walk, so Frank and I get up to go with them. We go to the nearest park and Frank and I break from Mikey and Ray to go swing on the what looks deserted swings.

"What do you think happened in there?" I ask Frank apprehensively.
"I don't know, and I don't want to." Frank shudders.
"Amen to that."
Frank laughs and says, "See, you are funny."
"I try.. I'm just kidding, I don't try at all." He laughs again, and grabs onto my hand as we swing in unison.
"You know, even after the whole awkwardness with Ray and Mikey, today was great. I love you, Gerard."
I smile, and I swear my heart skips a beat. "Yeah, it has. I love you, too Frank." He squeezes my hand as we see Ray and Mikey kiss by the slide. I don't know whether to be grossed out or happy for them, so I'm a little bit of both. Frank giggles, and I look at him. He points to the couple kissing, and I can't help but laugh either. Mikey's hands are entwined in Ray's voluminous hair, and where they are is flat, so it looks like Ray has bunny ears. It's quite a sight, really.

I smile inwardly and realize that I haven't been this happy in a really long time. Everything seems so right, and perfect. I just hope that nothing comes along to screw it up. There's still school tomorrow, and I just hope it's not awkward. I don't think it will be, but Mikey may be a little sad since Ray is home schooled. I think he'll manage, but I get Frank's opinion.

"I think he'll be okay. You guys could just come over to my house all the time after school so Mikey could see Ray and you and I could have some alone time." The way he says it makes me shiver, but not in the weird way that I have been, but in a way that makes me feel amazing. I really don't think I've ever felt this way. Not about anything. I don't know what I would do if I ever lost Frank. He's my everything, and even though it hasn't been that long, I can tell that we were meant for each other. I'm so happy he was brought into my life. The first time in a long time I feel whole, and it feels fucking amazing. I don't think it could get better than this.

"So what do you think about this whole Ray/Mikey thing?" Frank asks me after a while of pure silence.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean.. Like.. Do you approve or think it's a little weird or..?"
"Well of course I approve, I'm the one who suggested it for some odd reason. I do think it's a little weird, but if Mikey's happy then I'm good, and besides if he's happy then he can't give me shit."
"Why is that? I bet he still could." Frank replies.
"Well, he could but I just think that since he's so happy, he'll be in a good mood all the time and he won't want to say shit."
Frank laughs for the thousandth time today.
"You have the cutest laugh, Frankie."
"Really?"
"Yeah, it's like a little kid's. You remind me of a little kid."
"Interesting.. You kiss little boys. What the fuck are you? Micheal Jackson? go back to Neverland, Peter Pan!" It's my turn to laugh now.
"I am not Micheal Jackson. Otherwise you wouldn't like me."
"Love."
"Huh?"
"I love you, not like you. I was just correcting you."
I smile, "Oh Frankie, you're so cute. I love you, too."
"You're the best, Gee." He smiles.
I giggle.

You sound retarded when you giggle. It's annoying.
Ha-ha look at me I'm a stupid voice, blah blah blah.
I'm a stupid voice? Sure.. But I'm a stupid voice in an even stupider person's head.
You're just jealous because I can get boners and you can't.
No, you didn't just say that.
I think I did. What are you gonna do about it? You can't do shit. You're just a stupid voice.
In an even stupider person's head, don't forget that part.

"It's true though Gerard. You are the best."
"Nahh, you are, Frankie."

The absolute best.

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Well? How was it? I think that was the longest thing I've ever written! Eeeep. (: Well, I think it turned out pretty well, but how about you? Why don't you review and tell me! Hehehe. You guys are awesome, sorry to keep you waiting so long when I promised it wouldn't take so long. Whoops! Hope I still have faithful readers! heart heart hearttt!

XO
Emily