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Hoagie was relieved when Laura II's mom asked him to leave so she could get ready for her party.
Mrs. Limpin: I have never seen The Big Badolescent this happy so I want to hire you as a babysitter.
Hoagie(Cracking up) Yea thanks but no thanks I have standards.
Mrs. Limpin(Smirking) If you don't do it I'm sure your mom and I can think of something to torture you with.
Hoagie(Grabbing his coat) Good luck with that, and by the way I'm fearless so nothing scares me.
Mrs. Limpin: I'm glad to hear you say that, you'll need that unfear while watching Laura II because there's no saying just how angry The Big Badolescent can get.
Hoagie: I told you before lady I'm not going to break my back for you and your spoiled daughter.
Mrs. Limpin: We'll see about that, as for you I think Laura II and you just need to spend more time together.
Hoagie(Cracking up) Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Yea like that'll happen.
Mrs. Limpin(Picking up her phone) It just might I mean your mom has grown quite tired of you always bullying Tommy, I think I may have found the soloution to that.
Hoagie: By making me your little snot nosed daughter's babysitter?
Mrs. Limpin: You'll just have to wait and see my little petrified rat in a maze.
Hoagie cackled as he walked out of Laura's house thinking not a care in the world could come to him not knowing how wrong he was.
Mrs. Limpin: Yes Natasha this is Linda and I think I found a soloution to your Tommy problem.
Cackling was heard on both ends of the phone as Mrs. Limpin and Mrs. Gilligan made plans to make Hoagie's nightmares come true.
When Hoagie got home he saw suitcases on the sidewalk and his mom smiling down at him as Tommy did the same.
Mrs. Gilligan: Hoagie there's your things we're taking you somewhere so you can never hurt Tommy again.
Hoagie(Eyes growing fearful) Uhhhhhhhhhhhh just where are you taking me?
Mrs. Gilligan(Giggling) It seems a friend of yours is having a birthday party today and you became the top person on her invite list.
Hoagie screamed as Mrs. Gilligan grabbed him and Tommy cackled evilly.
Tommy: You live with The Big Badolescent, you live with The Big Badolescent, hah, hah, hah, hah, hah, hah.
Hoagie: Come on mom we could make a deal can't we?, what if I promised to never hurt Tommy again?
Tommy stuck his tongue out on the window making a face at Hoagie as he angrily slammed his hand on the window going back on his word.
Mrs. Gilligan: And to think I was going to let you stay, why I ever believed you is beyond me.
Hoagie: Wait that didn't count the little twerp was making fun of me.
Tommy(Smiling dimples and all) Who me your sweet little candy bar mommy?, why would I ever make fun of him?
Mr. Gilligan: Well Tommy sweetie you wouldn't, Hoagie's just a nervous Nellie that he's going to live with the tantrum thrower herself Laura II, Laura, Mr. and Mrs. Limpin.
Tommy(Dancing around the van) Let's not forget The Big Badolescent mama, she's Big, Bad, and Scary to whoever she meets.
Mrs. Gilligan: Now how could I forget her sweetie, Hoagie not only has to live with her but has to serve her and Laura II on a daily basis.
Tommy: I'm going to my room seeing I'm glad I have one, you well you'll have one too but I think Laura and Laura II will be sharing it with you.
Hoagie: You just better hope The Big Badolescent doesn't come for you next Tommy Boy, she may have me for now but I'll find a way out of it.
Tommy(Cracking up) Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Yea right and Santa really lives in the North Pole with penguins, good luck not listening to her.
Hoagie: I never said I wasn't going to listen to her, but who says I have to do what she asks?
Tommy Giggled again as the van pulled out of the Gilligan's driveway and Hoagie knew he was in for a lot of trouble.
Mrs. Gilligan: It's a shame I couldn't bring Tommy here to watch you get tortured like him, but you know he fears The Big Badolescent.
Hoagie: And you think I love her?
Mrs. Gilligan: You should have thought about how much you hated her when you were a bully to Tommy.
Hoagie: I'm his big brother it's my job to bully him.
Mrs. Gilligan: Actually it's your job to teach him right from wrong, but you know Hoagie Gilligan has to be the mean brother.
Hoagie(Going through his wallet) Here $50.00 it's all I have now please, please, please don't send me back to the Limpin's house.
Mrs. Gilligan: My minds made up Hoagie and I say you live with the Limpin's, if there is any more complaints I'll make sure you serve Laura too.
Hoagie just slumped against his seat as Mrs. Gilligan pulled into the Limpin's driveway and Mrs. Limpin ran out smiling at Hoagie.
Mrs. Limpin: I told you we'd work something out, now please hurry Laura II is about to become The Big Badolescent and well you're in charge of them now.
Hoagie gulped as he was led to the party where Laura grinned grabbing Hoagie's hand and leading him to the present table.
Laura: Just drop your present here and answer to Laura II, she has so many plans for you.
Hoagie(Smirking) Yea too bad I don't have a present, darn all my luck I'm afraid Laura II and the Great Big Ape will have to deal with no present from me.
Laura: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh she's not going to like that and neither will The Big Badolescent but it's your funeral.
Laura grabbed Hoagie's hand and skipped up to Laura II who was happily munching candy from her goodie bag as she saw Hoagie and brightened.
Laura II: Hey slave I need a new goodie bag chop chop, and make sure my mommy loads it with Sweet tart chickies and bunnies and less with smarties.
Laura: That's the least of our problems it seems the slave forgot to bring a present, doesn't that just make you wanna scream?
Laura II: No some people are just forgetful and I'm sure he'll buy me one sometime today, won't you slave?
Hoagie shook his head no as Laura II went into a spasm and Laura hid under the table knowing the duck and hide method well.
Laura II screamed and whined as the Big Badolescent rose and all the party guests stared in fear as The Big Badolescent grabbed Hoagie by his shirt.
The Big Badolescent: Me birthday and Laura II's too, need presents from everyone, now you get present or I make you regret ever coming here slave boy.
Hoagie: But I don't have any money, and I don't have a very good creative side so what else is left?
The Big Badolescent: Steal The Big Badolescent and Laura II two presents, and bring back here for us to open.
Hoagie was throw clear across the lawn as The Big Badolescent tossed him like a shot putt and she ran after him giggling.
The Big Badolescent: If no presents soon I use slave as soccer ball, I like slave soccer ball better than presents.
Hoagie ran off before The Big Badolescent could grab him again and she giggled turning into Laura II again and all the guests looked on in shock and surprise.
Laura II: Let that be a lesson for whoever wrongs me or my sister, I'm two people and I can make my bad side become my only side if you like.
The guests shook their heads no as another goodie bag was slid to her by her mom and it was fit to burst with sweet tart chickies and bunnies like she asked.
Laura II(Chomping the head off a bunny) Now who wants to be the one to get me a soda.
All the guests ran off as Laura II giggled and bit the bottom part of the bunny off showing The Big Badolescent's teeth in her as she did it.
Laura II: I still have some parts of her out, her muscles, her anger, and of course her teeth which can rip anything to pieces.
Hoagie was at the toy store as he grabbed ten teddies 5 small ones for Laura II, and 5 gigantic one's for The Big Badolescent as his fear started taking over him.
Hoagie's POV: You have to live to serve her now, just think her and her alter ego are both going to boss you around.
Hoagie(Shivering) I guess I should just get used to having a pint sized boss and a great big one.
Hoagie paid for the bears, got them wrapped and stuffed into boxes as he grabbed bunches of candy and threw that into both The Big Badolescent's and Laura II's bags also.
Back at the party Laura II was passed fifty cups of soda as everybody waited on pins and needles for her to drink it hoping she liked it.
Laura II(Angrily) This is diet and I never asked for diet, you- make- Laura- II- Angry- Lisa- Kennedy- you- hurt- sissy- and- feed- me- diet- soda- me- angry.
Laura II's shadow went from small to large as Lisa stared up at The Big Badolescent smiling innocently as she was raised from the ground and eye to eye with her doom.
The Big Badolescent(Pouring the cup of soda into Lisa's mouth) See no sugar Big Badolescent likes sugar and Laura II likes it too.
Lisa: I just thought that maybe-.
The Big Badolescent roared into Lisa's face as her chin quivered and she started wetting her pants.
The Big Badolescent: Apologize to sissy for being so mean to her, then you get me real soda.
Lisa(Voice quivering) Sorry- L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-Laura- for- all- the- things- I- said- about- you- and- for-m calling- you- a- clothes- wetter.
The Big Badolescent grinned turning Lisa upside down as Laura's lunch money poured from her pockets and everyone could see her now wet all over jumper.
The Big Badolescent(Sniffing) You clothes wetter now Lisa, now take wet self to soda table and get me sugary soda now.
Lisa was thrown to the lawn and she ran off to get another diet soda determined to get even with The Big Badolescent for humiliating her.
Lisa(Grabbing a diet drink) You think you're so tough huh you stupid big girl, I may have wet my pants but she can't do anything to torture me anymore than she already has.
Lisa skipped and twirled up to The Big Badolescent as she handed her a diet Coke and giggled demonically as The Big Badolescent sipped it and spit it into Lisa's face.
The Big Badolescent(Grinning) You mean but me meaner, now I spank you for not listening to me clothes wetter.
Before Lisa could object she was thrown across The Big Badolescent's lap and Laura lifted Lisa's skirt up and pulled her underwear down as ten mighty slaps were heard.
The Big Badolescent: Try this again clothes wetter, go get me soda pronto and make it sugary or next time I make you present for me.
Lisa was like a flash as she ran off getting a sugary soda for The big Badolescent rubbing her butt painfully.
Lisa: I wish I had the ability to became as big as that girl, I mean she had no right to spank me she's not my mommy.
Lisa grabbed a sugary soda and hurried back to The Big Badolescent drinking it on the way no knowing what else The Big Badolescent could do to her.
Lisa(handing a Styrofoam cup to The Big Badolescent) Here you big bully learn to recycle.
The Big Badolescent roared when she saw no soda in the glass as her eyes landed on Lisa and Lisa's mom knew to stay far away and play the hero.
The Big Badolescent: Me warned you but you didn't listen, now I make you kitten for Laura my sissy and she can torture you now.
Lisa screamed in pain as fur grew all over her body, a tail sprouted from her butt, whiskers grew on her face, and she was no longer human.
Laura(Eyes lit up) The best way to torture you Lisa is by making you do all the things you made me do, now let's find some mud for you to eat.
Lisa the kitten meowed as her mom left knowing it was no use to argue with a 50 ft. toddler.
Hoagie ran up to the present table as Laura II spasmed again and was a little girl with a party hat and everybody continued to give her sugary soda.
Hoagie: All right I got you and The Big Badolescent presents, is there anything else I can do for you Laura II?
Laura II(Pulling out a needle) Yes you can become a three year old boy obsessed to the brink with me and frightened of The Big Badolescent.
Hoagie: I'm kind of in your family now how are you going to make me fall in love with you?, I mean it would be just plain weird.
Laura II(Smirking) You're not a part of my family but no worries I have the perfect mommy for you.
Hoagie(Gulping) The perfect mommy?
Laura II: MMHMMM her names Fanny and she's going to make sure she enrolls you into daycare with me, then pre school with me, then Kindergarten all the way to College with me, then we'll be married just like Nigel and my sissy will be soon.
Laura Eskimo kissed Nigel as she held Lisa's mouth open and force fed her mud as Laura II giggled stabbing Hoagie with her needle and another boy made to run at her.
Laura II: As for you John you're my new slave and I want another sugary drink, and make sure it's sugary or The Big Badolescent will also be your master.
John Ward ran off to get a diet drink smiling as he passed it to Laura II and she sipped it and spit it out as John grinned and Laura II grinned back growing into a giant.
The Big Badolescent(Chaining John) You belong to me now, you're my present and Laura II's too, now follow me to drink table and you get me sugary drink.
John moaned as a huge wet spot was on The Big Badolescent's supersuit and she cackled bouncing the wet spot on John and he could smell pee.
The Big Badolescent: That's only one thing you get bad boy, now get me sugary drink or I make you drink me pee all day until me dry as a bone.
John smiled handing another diet soda to The Big Badolescent as she sipped it and roared throwing it at John and positioning him under her super suit.
The Big Badolescent(Bouncing up and down) Drink pee from suit then I show you my undies and you drink from them too.
John found The Big Badolescent's large hand on him and he couldn't fight back as she pushed him up to the wet spot and giggled.
The Big Badolescent(Chanting) Drink slave drink, drink slave drink, drink slave drink, drink slave drink, drink slave drink.
We're brought to Hoagie who grew smaller and orange hair with freckles as Fanny grabbed him cackling.
Fanny: Never date me again huh, well you just gained a worse girlfriend and mommy will make sure you two never stop seeing each other.
Hoagie: But mama you don't understand she's crazy, and I don't want cooties from her.
Fanny(Grinning evilly) At least you're calling me mommy, and even as you get older you'll call me mommy and I'll embarrass the heck out of you.
Hoagie gulped as Fanny rubbed his hair grinning as she was going to make an embarrassment photo album like every mom had for their kids for Hoagie.
Fanny: Smile pretty handsome, mommy is starting a dating photo album for you and Laura II, I'm so proud you're dating at an early age.
Hoagie grew fearful as he saw The Big Badolescent with a wet spot on her suit and John slurping it as Fanny grinned knowing all too well what it was.
Laura(forcing a brush through Lisa's fur) All right Nigey give me the clippers, let's make Lisa look like I did when she played hairdresser with me.
A humming was heard as Laura scraped the clippers through Lisa's fur and saw it was on the ground as Laura grinned demonically.
Laura: This isn’t much fun, maybe my sissy can make you a girl again and I can get even with you that way.
Laura skipped up to The Big Badolescent who heard Laura's wish and a necklace on The Big Badolescent's neck glowed red as Lisa was back and Laura pushed her down.
Laura: First off the mud pies, then the hairdresser, then we'll go from there you big bully.
Lisa(Squirming) Nooooooooo mommy help me, please help me don't let her feed me mud.
Lisa's mom: Sorry sweetie but you did it to her, and that giant toddler scares me.
Lisa(Staring up at The Big Badolescent) Look you big ape either you play nice or I'll make you play nice got it?
The Big Badolescent stood up and held John in his place as she made her way to Lisa and forced her mouth open as Laura tossed mud into it equipped with worms.
Laura: Not nice tasting is it?, you made me eats this every day you caught me and now you're getting what you gave me.
Lisa moaned and got green in the face as more mud and worms were shoved into her mouth and The Big Badolescent tore her suit off making John suck her huge, pink, undies next.
The Big Badolescent: Teach you a lesson this will, next time do what me ask you to do.
John made a disgusted face as he spit the pee back on the underwear and The Big Badolescent cackled loudly shoving the undies back into John's mouth.
The Big Badolescent: There now you drink me pee, and once you done you rub feet while me open my presents.
John moaned as The Big Badolescent shoved more of her underwear into his mouth and John's moans were drowned out.
The Big Badolescent: Hope you like to taste me pee because until me dry you keep drinking, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, heeeeeeeee.
John shook his head no as The Big Badolescent nodded and cackled sitting on John as he screamed in pain.
The Big Badolescent: I take over boy named Wally Beatles, his soul in my tummy now and yours be too if you don't listen.
John got the message as he sucked faster and Hoagie looked up at his new mom as she grinned scoping out the fearful boys to make one into a son as she had other plans for Hoagie.
The Big Badolescent: Slurp faster slave boy slurp faster me cold without dry suit on.
John slurped as Hoagie got green in the face and Fanny saw the perfect boy to turn into her son as she saw John was a teenager and her mind worked over time.
Fanny(Ruffling Hoagie's hair) Stay here sweetie I'm going to make a trade and this trade is going to be the best trade ever.
Hoagie didn't like the look of the extra pair of clothes Fanny brought as she took one side of a table and placed cups of soda on both ends.
Fanny(Grabbing Hoagie) I hope you have a strong bladder because you're going to need it.
The Big Badolescent cackled as she spasmed and became Laura II again who led John to the other side of the table and grinned at him.
Laura II: This is a party game just for you two, Fanny is the game master so we'll listen to what she wants you to do.
Fanny(Grinning) I call this game the tinkle challenge, and here's how we play first Hoagie will take a cup and drink then John will do the same, we do this until there's no cups left or until somebody pees their pants.
John: What happens if we pee our pants?
Fanny: Then you'll have three slaves, Laura II, The Big Badolescent, and my little munchkin who the winner will become.
Hoagie: So in order to win we have to keep the pee inside of ourselves?
Fanny(Playfully poking his nose) Correct a mundo sweetie, now chug and show John how to play.
Hoagie opened his mouth wide and slurped the soda up until there was none left.
Fanny: All right John you're up potential Big Badolescent slave.
Laura II giggled purposely peeing her undies again as it flowed under her skirt and she winked at John pointing at it.
John(Making a face) Ewwwwwwwwww I will not drink her pee again.
John chugged the soda until there was no drop left and Hoagie grabbed a second cup topping John's cup.
John: Just give up you fat pig you know you're going to lose.
Fanny: And as an added bonus I'm going to make my daughter pee her pants too so whoever becomes the slave will have to drink it like John did with The Big Badolescent.
John chugged as Hoagie grabbed a third cup and did the same with an I'm going to win look on his face.
John: Keep smiling you'll see that I never lose.
John chugged his cup staring at Hoagie as he grabbed two cups and threw the soda into his mouth as John gulped and Hoagie giggled.
Hoagie: The bubbles make my nose feel funny, your turn and in order to win you have to do two or better.
John's hands shook as he grabbed two cups and chugged them as Hoagie grabbed three doing the same thing.
John: All right he's not playing fair he's one upping me and that just isn't cool.
Hoagie: Haven't you heard I'm a Fullbright and I don't play fair?, none of the Fullbright's do now drink three cups in five seconds or you'll have to deal with Laura II's, The Big Badolescents, and when I become Fanny's daughter my pee and you'll drink it all up.
John grabbed three cups and chugged them as Hoagie giggled and grabbed four cups and drank them.
Hoagie(Gasping) Top- that- Mr.- man- if- you- can't- I- become- A- Fullbright- lady.
John's hands shook harder as he grabbed four cups and drank them and he felt like he had to pee and Hoagie noticed and grinned knowing how to beat John.
Hoagie(placing seven cups in front of him) And watch this next trick, one- two- three- four- five- six- and seven gone.
Hoagie smashed the seven cups as John moaned knowing he couldn't handle seven cups.
Fanny: We're on a time limit here potential Laura II, The Big Badolescent, and my daughter's slave.
John held his legs closed and drank the seven cups and all of a sudden he felt better and so did Fanny as she saw the river of pee flowing down John's pants.
Fanny(Raising Hoagie's arms) And the winner by technical drink out is my son becoming my little girl Hoagie P. Fullbright.
John's eyes were full of fear as Fanny towered over him and stabbed him with a needle and then led Hoagie to a changing room.
Fanny: Great job cheating him out there Hoagie, you'll make a great Fullbright lady in no time, and mommy will even show you how belching helps in these competitions.
Hoagie stayed completely still as Fanny threw his clothes into a fire that magically appeared and waved her fingers making John a Fullbright boy as she grinned.
Fanny: Another thing you'll learn is how to torture your older brother by wetting your pants on purpose as a little girl and making him drink it, like Laura II and The Big Badolescent will do to him.
Hoagie found that he couldn't wait to be Fanny's daughter knowing power, attention from Fanny, and being a bully was all coming to him.
Fanny(Pulling out a small pair of plaid underwear) All right Hoagester hold still while mama makes you the apple of my eye.
Fanny pulled the underwear up to Hoagie's waste as he became thin and he had to pee really bad.
Hoagie: Mama I need to tinkle and there's no toilet in here.
Fanny(Brightening) Have I taught you nothing sweetie, let it flow into your undies and make your brother drink it like it's a soda fountain.
Hoagie(Smiling) Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yea I forgot I had an older brother to torture.
Fanny(Grabbing a mini kilt) I wish I had one at your age, he would be in the looney bin after I was through with him.
Fanny placed the kilt over Hoagie's small legs and pulled it up to his waist and she saw herself in him.
Fanny(Kissing Hoagie's cheek) Next is the top then mama will brush your hair and then it's older brother torturing ahoy.
Hoagie cackled as a little Fanny cackle escaped from inside him as Fanny grinned triumphantly knowing John had his work cut out for him now.
Fanny(throwing the top over Hoagie) This green sweater will keep you warm all year, and in the summer I'll buy you some new tops.
Hoagie spun around in his kilt and green sweater as Fanny produced a brush and started brushing Hoagie's hair that went from brown to bright red in an instant and one half covered his left eye.
Fanny: Taduh now let's go show that big brother of yours what real pee tastes like.
Hoagie(Giggling) He's going to hate early aged you mama.
Fanny: Good because he's not supposed to like early aged me, now let's go make him taste your undies like he's drinking Laura II's as we speak.
Fanny and her daughter cackled evilly as we hear John moaning in front of Laura II.
What happens when Fanny and her daughter get even read part 4 Accidents and Kilt Lifts and reply to part 3