Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > I'm Nobody

Running Away From His Demons

by jajajajaime16 11 reviews

Gerard receives the news that almost tears him apart.

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG - Genres: Angst,Drama,Romance - Characters: Gerard Way,Mikey Way - Published: 2009-06-07 - Updated: 2009-06-07 - 1601 words - Complete

And with that, he gently brought his lips back to hers...

Gerard and Dani sat side by side, content with listening to each other breathing.

"Dani?" Gerard broke the silence. "What are we now?"

She snuggled up close to his side. "Dani Santos and Gee Way," she laughed.

"No...I mean, well, yes, but...are we...not really going out, but..."

She nodded. "Yeah, I see what you mean. And I'll be whatever you want me to least for now." Like...your girlfriend...Oh my-

His phone started to ring, playing Iron Maiden. He muttered an apology and struggled to dig it out of his pocket. "Hello?" he answered irritably.

"Gee, you've gotta come home," Mikey said brokenly over the phone. "Bring...bring Dani if you want to, Mom doesn't care. And-" He choked back a sob. "You might need her."

"Mikes, what happened?" Gerard asked, his eyes widening.

He heard Mikey sniffle and wipe his nose. "It's Grandma. She's gone."

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Gerard walked through the doorway of his house, every part of his body except the hand that Dani was holding feeling numb.

Mikey and their parents were sitting at the kitchen table with solemn looks on their faces. Donna stood up and first gave Dani a sad introductory smile and then hugged Gerard.

He remained still and waited for her to let go. "When?" His voice was almost too low to hear.

"This morning. Your uncle called us a little while ago."

Gerard clenched his jaw and looked over at Dani, who felt out of place. This is his family mourning the death of a family member, and they don't even know me, she kept thinking.

"And, Dani," Donna continued. "I'm sorry we have to meet like this, but I've heard so much about you, so welcome." Is that a bruise on her face?

"Nice to meet you, Mrs. Way. I'm sorry about their grandmother," Dani said softly.

"Thank you," Donna sighed. "And no stiff, formal names exist in this family. It's Donna."

Dani smiled and looked back over at Gerard. He was staring into space with a blank, familiar look in his eyes. She had used that look more times than it was healthy.

Mikey nodded at her from across the room, and she returned it with a small wave.

Don was on the phone, probably already preparing things for the funeral.

Their mother sat back down next to her husband and directed her words at the three teenagers. "You guys go ahead."

Mikey followed Gerard and Dani outside to the back porch. His nose was still red from crying.

The almost-couple sat together on the bench swing, leaving no where for Mikey but the floor. He groaned quietly and sat down. Wonder how long they’ve been going on.

"Gerard...are you alright?" he asked cautiously.

"Yeah. I mean, we knew this was bound to happen soon, right? She's been sick for a while now, so we had plenty of time to say goodbye." He didn't look Mikey or Dani in the eyes.

"That doesn't make it hurt any less," Mikey said, outraged. "How can you sit there some zombie who doesn't give a shit that his grandma just died?"

I really don't want to have to watch some family dispute, Dani worried.

"I'm not. I'm just not going to go into hysterics over something we've been expecting for months." Gerard fiddled with the hem of his t-shirt. He didn't want to deal with any of his emotions right now.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

A little more than a week later was the day of the funeral.

It was scheduled at the bright and early hour of eight o'clock. Gerard had invited Dani, but she had told him she wasn't sure if she'd be able to sneak away that early in the morning.

He went in the car with the rest of his family, the same emotionless mask on he'd been wearing for the past few days still holding on tight.

He fidgeted and itched at his suit the whole way while Mikey continued to refuse to talk to him.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Dani quietly snuck out of the front door, clad in an old black dress of her mother's. She ducked underneath Issac's window, just incase he was awake.

She walked quickly to the church Gerard had told her about, nearly tripping over the long dress, under which she had Chucks on her feet. I really hope his mother doesn't notice that I'm wearing sneakers.

She had no clue what was expected of her at things like these. She'd never been to a funeral, hadn't really planned on going to one.

Dani showed up late to the service, of course. She slipped through the big doors, trying not to be noticed by standing in the back.

Gerard noticed her from the area he was sitting in and gestured for her to come sit next to him. She shook her head and pointed to his family surrounding him, who all looked close to tears as the priest described Elena's contributions to society.

He sighed heavily and turned back around.

Dani searched the large building. She could see all the Catholic memorabilia, the rows and rows of people who had came to celebrate this woman's life and mourn as one about her death. It was magical. It was beautiful. Not many people can honestly call something like a funeral beautiful. Beautiful but morbid, maybe. But all Dani could see was the beauty.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

After they left the church, the Way family, along with Dani, drove to the burial grounds that were separate from the church.

Dani looked over at Mikey, who was still drying his eyes as he rested his head against the window. She shot him a sympathetic look, and he nodded against the glass.

Gerard kept the dead look on his pale face and the monotone, even in his thoughts, as he stared at the rain that was just starting to pour.

Dani, who was squished between the two brothers, noticed how different they could look on the outside, how different they could be acting, while deep down they were feeling exactly the same. They all think Gerard's just a logical brat who can't cry for his grandma, but I know that look. I know that feeling. Pretending the world's fine when it's crashing down around you and you can't do one fucking thing to stop it.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

As every other close family member stood right up close to her freshly dug grave, Gerard hung back, alone, while Dani watched him out of the corner of her eye. He was standing eerily still, his face expressionless. When they lowered the coffin into the hole in the earth, she saw his face twist and he suddenly bolted into the trees, running away from his demons.

She followed him without a second thought, grateful that she'd had the sense to wear sneakers.

After a few minutes of running, she finally caught up with him. He was sitting on the ground with his knees curled to his chest and his head hung in his hands. She came to a stop and heard his quiet crying. Dani watched his body shake with every sob.

Her feet came down on a twig with a loud crunch and he looked up, his face tormented. "Go away!" he yelled. "I don't need you to see me like this!"

Dani's heart ached for him. It hurt to see him like this, but she knew she had to stay if she ever wanted him to go back. "I don't care," she whispered.

Gerard looked up at her from his position on the ground. "She's gone..." he trailed off brokenly. "She's really gone..." With that revelation came another wave of depression and he buried his face in his arms again.

"She taught me everything. I can barely remember how to breathe without Grandma over my shoulder, reminding me." His voice cracked.

Dani slid down to sit across from him, tears starting to appear in her own eyes.

He felt how wet his face was, embarrassed. "I couldn't crack; I couldn't let anybody know that I was dying after she died."

"I never really said goodbye," he continued. "She didn't want to let any of us know that she was sick, and then when we finally found out about it...I pretended like everything was fine, that years from now she'd still be here."

"I didn't let myself get close to her for these last few months, because I knew deep down that there would come the day that she wouldn't be around anymore."

"I can't remember the last time I told her I loved her. I don't even know if she realized how much I loved her!" He screamed the last part.

"She did." Dani said suddenly.

"How?" Gerard mumbled.

"Even if you didn't let her know while she was still alive, I can guarantee you she heard everything you just said. Wherever she is right now, she heard that." Dani pulled Gerard's face up and looked him in the eyes. "And she loves you just as much as I do."

That. Was...I don't even have words to describe...
I honestly didn't plan this...I'm still crying.
This took me a while to write. And it's longer than usual...
Please REVIEW like you have been. And RATE like most of you haven't been.
Song for this chapter (as if you can't guess)-"Helena" by the one and only, My Chemical Romance
RIP Elena Lee Rush
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