Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > We Are Better By Design

The Bad Touch

by nicole_ownsxxx 2 reviews

Gerard and Lily go driving and shiatsu like that, so..

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: G - Genres: Humor,Romance - Characters: Frank Iero,Gerard Way - Published: 2009-06-19 - Updated: 2009-06-19 - 1447 words

Chapter Three: The Bad Touch

When the movie was over, Gerard and I threw the pillows in the back of his truck and shut the tailgate. Frank had convinced one of the girls he scared to go out with him for ice cream.

“But you just had ice cream, like, an hour ago,” I said.

“Yeah,” he said, “but that wasn’t with a hot girl. It’s like a whole new food when you’re eating with a hot girl.”

I blinked. “You ate ice cream with me, Frankie.” I crossed my arms.

Frankie bit his lip, and Gerard and Meg started laughing. “Well, when you cross your arms like that, I can see your boobs better, so now you’re hot,” he said. I uncrossed my arms immediately. “See, now you’re Lily. Are you understanding how this works?”

“Frank, go with Cathy before she comes to her senses and leaves you here,” Gerard said, pushing him towards her car.

He turned around quickly and said, “Wait, wait, wait!” He took at Gerard. “Can I borrow ten bucks? I’m broke. I spent all my money on helium filled balloons last week,” he elaborated.

“I was wondering why your voice was so high on Tuesday,” Meg mused. “Must’ve been the helium.”

“In history?” asked Frankie as Gerard handed him a ten dollar bill.

“Yeah,” Meg said.

I laughed. “No, that was because Gerard punched him in the jeans in the hallway,” I gasped, remembering the moment.

“He cried!” Gerard yelled.

Frankie’s cheeks burned. “Yeah, well, I’m going on my DATE with the deliciously hot CATHY, and you’re here, lying on the ground,” he said.

“I’m not—” Gerard started, before Frank reared back and punched him in the balls, instantly causing him to writhe on the ground, clutching his man-parts. Frank took off running and jumped in Cathy’s car, which swiftly drove away.

“Holy fuck!” Gerard screamed. Meg and I just exchanged glances as Gerard groaned.

“You okay, there, big guy?” I asked slowly, crouching down beside him. I rubbed his back. Also muscular. I pulled my hand away and blinked.

The movie had been over for a good ten minutes, and people were driving by us, honking. I turned around just in time to see Joan roll down her window and lean out, screaming, “You deserved it, douche-bag!” I flipped her off.

“Ice,” he whispered, still wincing. “He got me good.”

“Okay,” Meg said, giggling. “I’ll get you some ice.” She walked away.

“Is it…broken?” I asked, unsure of what exactly being punched in the balls feels like.

He laughed. “I don’t think you can break it like that,” he rolled over on his back, keeping his legs together. I stopped crouching and just sat down Indian style next to him.

“Well, I wouldn’t know. I’m not exactly, equipped like you.” His lips parted into a pained smile. Another car drove by and I heard laughter and honking.

“Well, this is embarrassing,” he said.

I laughed. “Once again, I wouldn’t know. Just one of the perks of being a woman. No balls and I get to look pretty all time.”


Meg showed up a plastic baggie filled with chocolate ice cream. “They already locked the ice machine,” she explained. “BUT they were emptying the ice cream maker. Score right? After Gerard’s balls get better, we can eat it! I even got spoons.”

I frowned at the thought of eating something used to soothe someone’s genitals. Ewww. Gerard took the baggie and set it on his, erm, sore spot.

“I’d rather not,” I said, cringing. “And besides, aren’t you on a diet?”

She looked the ice cream, then frowned. “Yeah. I forgot. Damn it to hell! I’m going home. Not being able to eat sugary treats is depressing me,” she said. “I’ll text you guys later.” She got in her car and drove away.

“Wanna drive around or something?” Gerard asked. “My balls feel better.”

“That’s nice. I’m driving!” I said happily, jumping into the driver’s seat, and moving up the seat. I was a good five or six inches shorter than him. Tall, too. God, I’m unobservant. Anyway…

“No, you’re not,” he said forcefully, getting off the ground and opening the door. “You’re a horrible driver.”

“No, I’m not.” I shut the door again.

He opened it and tried to pull me out. “Yes, you are.”

“Give me three good reasons why I shouldn’t be allowed to drive your truck,” I demanded, putting on my seatbelt.

“You almost failed your driver’s test three times.”


“You almost got into a wreck the last time, but the lady felt bad for you because you started crying and that’s exactly how you got your license.”


“You got pulled over for going sixty in a twenty mile per hour zone. But you cried and got out of your ticket.”

“But I’ve never gotten a ticket,” I said, raising my eyebrows. “That’s a plus.”

“Because you cried and cop felt bad for you.”

“Still, though. If I don’t get to drive, I’m in charge of the radio. And I’m feeling some Billy Joel. Mkay?”

“Stop that. You can drive.”

I pumped my fist in the air, and Gerard walked around the truck and got in on the passenger’s side.

I started the car. “What does ‘R’ mean?” I joked. I backed up. “Whoa, do you feel that?!”

“Okay, let me drive,” he said nervously.

I swatted his hand away as he reached for the keys. “No, I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I did get my license you know.”


“But still.”

“Just drive.”

“Sure thing, boss man.”

“Stop that.” He opened the baggy filled with ice cream and a spoon. I watched in horror as he actually took a bite.

“Gerard! That was on your man-parts!” I cried, thoroughly disgusted.

“Good God, Lily, just say penis,” he laughed. “And, no, it was actually in a bag. The ice cream is completely untainted.”

We drove around for a while, and drove by the Falls, where the Ball would next Saturday. The people who got everything ready were already cleaning up the place, because most of the beer cans and cigarette butts were gone. The concrete dance floor had been scrubbed, the shrubs next to the river trimmed. The waterfall was illuminated against the soft street light.

Gerard stared at the Falls as I drove past. “Lily, we don’t have dates for the ball,” he said.

“Observant, aren’t we?”

He laughed loudly and sarcastically. “You’re a riot. Seriously though, let’s go together.”

“Do you really think we can’t get real dates by Saturday?” I asked.

“Hey,” he said defensibly. “It’d be real date. You’d wear a pretty dress and I’d wear nice shoes and we’d go out to eat and everything.”

“You’re right, Gerard,” I said, smiling at the thought of him in a tux. “I’m sure you’d be a wonderful date.”

“Yeah. It’d be awesome. Make a left,” he said. I went left. “Now park here.”

We were at the top of the Falls, the best parking spot ever. It was a good place to be alone, or to not be alone. Whatever tickles your fancy. Whatever that means. If you parked here, to get to the dance floor you’d have to go down a flight of concrete, but you could see everything.

“Sure thing, boss.”

“Why do you keep calling me boss?”

I smiled. “I dunno.”

“So, anyway, you wanna go to the ball with me?” he asked. He raised his eyebrows.

“Will you wear a tux?”

He smiled softly. “Yeah, will you wear a dress?”

“Of course. I’ll go with you.”

“Good,” he said. He looked pleased with himself.

He looked at me, and I looked at him, and we smiled. Everything hit me at once, Gerard’s breath smelled like chocolate, and his skin was smooth as marble and his eyes were enticing and he was tantalizingly attractive and I wanted to be closer to him. His smiled faded into a serious expression, and he whispered, “Lily, I’m glad we broke up with them,” and I could only nod enthusicatically and then—

There was someone outside the window.

really sorry about the cliffhanger..
update in like, thirty minutes.
the chapter got too long, sooo.

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