Categories > Books > Harry Potter > The Company We Keep

Poor Edward Kelly

by Quillian 0 reviews

Edward Kelly FINALLY gets taken down a few notches...

Category: Harry Potter - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Action/Adventure, Crossover - Characters: Harry - Published: 2005-05-16 - Updated: 2005-05-16 - 1238 words

1Funny
DISCLAIMER: See the Prologue.

NOTE: I'm aiming more for comedy in this chapter, so don't expect too much. I need to relieve all the angst and tension, anyway.

This chapter is dedicated to Jeconais, for letting me borrow something from his magnificent fic "This Means War!" (This chapter will be funnier if you read that story first, trust me.)

Likewise, a similar shout-out goes to Digi Bonds and Thom (the latter being from my Yahoo group) for helping me with his opinion on this chapter!



Chapter 12: Poor Edward Kelly

Edward Kelly was a very busy man.

Speaking out against mutants, running for mayor, preaching his views about mutants, thinking about becoming a Senator, dreaming about a world devoid of mutants, hoping to be the President one day, and trying to pass the Mutant Registration Act.

Yes, Kelly was a very busy man indeed.

That's why he had this very important speech planned out for a week from now.

And was determined to make sure no mutants would wreck it.

After all, mutants were the only bad people on this planet.

Right?

Right.

(Wrong!)



Now, there was a small group in Bayville which was secretly sympathetic to mutants. They were a group so dedicated to justice and integrity that they would have probably made America's founders proud. While they were not mutants themselves, they had a few members with relatives that were mutants or potential mutants. In fact, they would have chosen the name "Friends of Humanity" if those anti-mutants people hadn't picked it first.

Naturally, they were opposed to Edward Kelly. Interestingly enough, they were also opposed to Kelly for another good reason: He was such a lousy politician. In their collective opinion, a chimpanzee could have done a better job as a politician and office-holder to be. The only reason he was getting so far in the polls (horrifyingly enough) was because everyone was so busy paying attention to his anti-mutant sentiment (or obsession, depending on your point of view) that no one else really paid attention to how abysmally he was doing on other things.

Fear and hatred were very powerful tools, and for Kelly's speech, this obscure and secret group would do just that.

And in a highly unexpected way, too...

It was surprising (and often very horrifying) how quickly people could turn on one another, even with little or no real evidence present.



All the residents of the Xavier Institute were also going to watch Kelly's speech, too, because as Harry once quoted Hermione, it's often best to know what the enemy is saying.

There was also some added tension because Gambit had stopped by for a few days, needing a place to stay. He had appeared at the Institute's gate, bruised, battered and a little bloody. After assuring Professor Xavier that he wasn't in any sort of trouble that would bring along more trouble (consequently confirmed telepathically, of course), Xavier granted Gambit temporary hospitality so long as the Cajun was on his best behavior.

Gambit, much to everyone's surprise (and even to the disdain and disappointment of a few cynics), did just that, and nothing "mysteriously" disappeared while he was around. He tried his best to be the ideal guest, and was a perfect gentleman towards Rogue, whom he still had his eye on.

Currently, Gambit was seated not-so-far away from Rogue as Kelly's "speech" began.



Kelly stood at the podium that night, in all his grandeur, ready to preach about how bad mutants "really" were.

About five minutes later, as Kelly slammed his fist on the podium to make sure the audience got the point, what appeared to be small fireworks erupted all around him and onstage. A minute later, he looked all around, speechless.

"Okay, who did that?" Kelly said, his voice and tone leaving no doubt in anyone's mind that he thought mutants were responsible.

"Now, Mr. Kelly, I'm sure you can't be implying that your fellow mutants were responsible," one person named Jenny West said, loudly and clearly for all to hear in the (relatively) silent room.

At the Institute, every last person was blinking and then looking at each other, confused. "Quel l'enfer?" Gambit asked to no one in particular. What the hell?

"Wait a second," Jenny's friend and partner-in-crime Harmony Grant asked just as loudly, "Edward Kelly's a mutant?"

"Of course he is," Rob Dent called from his seat.

"You didn't know that?" Heidi Abbey joined in from her seat across the room, "I thought everyone knew that."

"Yeah," James Frank-Fuller agreed, "Everyone knows that Kelly's as much a mutant as any other mutant citizen in this town."

"From what I've seen him do in his office when he thinks no one else is looking, he's pretty powerful, too," chipped in Troy Banks, an openly pro-mutant politician.

"I knew it what I saw his attitude, too," Don Trent added, going with the flow and as he went along. "That's why he went so cold and hostile overnight after everyone found out about mutants; he was afraid that everyone would suspect him then desert him once his secret got out."

Edward Kelly was completely frozen in face, doing a rather good impression of some poor animal caught in the headlights of an oncoming car or other such vehicle. "I-I'm n-not a m-mutant," he stammered, completely rattled as all could now clearly see.

"Now, now, Edward," Jenny smiled at him, sounding as though they were the best of friends. "I think it's very brave of you to finally come out of your shell and admit who you are. Don't you just feel so much better now?"

"Yeah, you're an example for everyone to live by when it comes to being a textbook example of all this country stands for," Harmony declared eloquently.

Putting the final nail on the coffin, Senator Seward (a respected and sometimes feared politician) stepped forward from where he was standing along the back wall and said for all to hear, "Edward Kelly has my admiration and respect for being so forthcoming about himself."

Slowly, some clapping started, and soon, half the room was applauding and cheering for Edward Kelly. The other half of the room only looked at him, disgusted.

Kelly, however, was not a man who would simply allow himself to be railroaded like that. His face flushing redder than even Mystique's hair, he began screaming all sorts of things at these people who were making all this up, public image be damned.

And it was all being recorded live.



Laughter rang in the Xavier Institute as everyone saw the events unfold on the television, culminating in its unthinkable conclusion.

"I can't believe that just happened!" Rogue exclaimed, starting to hiccup from all the laughing.

"Je connais," Gambit agreed. "I know," he said, reiterating in English this time.

Harry had something to say as his laughter finally began to subside: "Man, if I ever go back to Hogwarts and Malfoy starts that kind of crap with me again, I could use this tactic to destroy his reputation somehow!"



A/N: XD! So, how did everyone like this chapter? (In retrospect, it's more like a parody of TMW! by Jeconais, come to think of it.)

Next chapter is the unlucky 13th chapter. Ooh, 13, beware... -Quillian
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