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Box 05

by Mikari 0 reviews

Bowser's Advice for Parents

Category: Mario - Rating: PG - Genres: Humor - Characters: Bowser Koopa - Published: 2009-06-26 - Updated: 2009-06-27 - 489 words - Complete

I wrote this a long time ago and posted it in another site. Then I realized I had not posted it here.

Question Box

Box 05: Bowser's Advice for Parents

It is important to encourage children to participate in music. But if it turns out that their koopa symphonies are not the best, then wear earplugs or prepare for a large headache, but never discourage your child. Look on the bright side, you can record the song and use it to give your enemies headaches, giving them a disadvantage in battle.

It is important to teach children how to balance their diet, but you must specify that a balanced diet doesn't mean rolling around in a ball with an ice-cream bowl on their head or trying to juggles lollipops. Make sure they know the value of juggling fruits and vegetables as well. That way they'll have all the vitamins they need to help you destroy your enemies.

It is important to encourage children to participate in science, just make sure you have insurance for when their experiments blow up. Or you could send those experiments to your enemies and get them blown up. Children can learn a lot from constructing weapons.

It is important to teach children to defend themselves, as long as you specify that throwing your underlings in the lava pools is not allowed. You wouldn't want the numbers of your army to decrease, the more outnumbered your enemies are, the best chance you have to win. Also make sure to specify who the enemies are, so that your children can concentrate their strength and energy against them and not your allies.

It is important to provide children with everything they may need, but if they spend too much on things that will only clutter their closed, hide your credit cards and pretend you lost them. Make sure to call the plumbers that day, even if you don't have any broken pipes, so they may suffer the temper tantrum that will inevitably follow. It will give them a big headache and maybe even nightmares.

It is important to listen to your children. If they talk too much, wear earplugs while you continue to smile and nod as if you're listening. You should also encourage your child to tell those same stories to the plumbers when they come bother you or fix a pipe.

It is important to teach your child how to properly take care of a pet. That means no feeding bob-ombs to the chain chops. It is vital that your child understands that chain chops eat plumbers not bob-ombs.

It is very important to give your children educative activities to do while spending quality time with the family. Some of those activities could be destroying annoying plumbers and kidnapping princesses.

End of Box 05

Congratulations if you can tell which recommendation is based on what koopaling. :D Disclaimer, I don't own Bowser or the other Mario characters.
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