FicWad

The next few days I didn’t have time to unpack my own bedroom simply because other chores were much more important than that. The lounge room was the easiest to unpack and make it look pleasing so were the study room and bathrooms. The kitchen was the hardest; I never knew buying food from scratch was hard. I never knew you needed small things like vegetables or oil, so poor Gerard had to do several visits to the supermarket down the road. Out of all that negativity, going through the old stuff was pretty alright. It kinda showed how much we’ve moved on.
I collapsed on the sofa next to Gerard who’s been there for an hour already. My arms and legs were like dough; too tired to move them anymore. Gerard laid there with droopy eyes with his arms all over the place.
I don’t remember being this tired since... since... I don’t remember, but sleep right now looked ever so beautiful. I heard Gerard’s mumblings but I never did quite make out his mumble and I didn’t once care because I suddenly dropped myself into sleep.

“Nicole, come on! Get up! You’ll be late!” I heard Gerard say.
My eyes were so heavy that it took all my might to open them and just look at him. He looked so impatient as he ran his hand through his messy bed hair. I squinted my eyes and tried to think of reasons as to why he was acting like this.
He turned back to me and grinned to see me up, “Come on Nicole, you got college today.”
I gave a sigh, college, how could I forget? “Do I have to go?” I slurred out my words as I stretched my arms.
“Yes, you missed out heaps already,” Gerard pulled my arms and led me to my room. “Get dressed; I’ll meet you at the front door.”
“Wait, are you taking me to college?” I asked.
“Sure I am,” he grinned.
“Why?”
“To apologize to your teacher.”
I sighed, “I can apologize myself Gerard.”
“Yea, well with someone like me, they’re bound to be cool with it.”
I sighed, “Okay, fine. I won’t take too long.”
I watched him stare at me blankly.
“What?” he asked.
“Um, I’m going to get dressed Gerard, so shoo!” I made a hand action to it as well.
“Oh, right.” he looked bashful and stepped out of my room.
I laughed at him and quickly got dressed.

After finally finding a car park I was rushing up the main stairs of the college while Gerard was behind me checking out the place.
“Come on Gerard, I’m already late!”
“This place reminds me of the art school that I went to when I was younger,” he said as he looked about.
“That’s nice Gerard,” I huffed, already stressing out with myself late to class.
Gerard noticed me fuming and quickened his pace behind me.
We finally reached my classroom and Gerard gave a quick knock to the door.
I felt it hard to breathe that I was breathing through my mouth.
Finally my teacher opened the classroom door and was obviously surprised to see me.
“Nicole, your back I see.”
I nodded.

“Oh my god! Nicole, you’re back finally!” Maria bounced out of the classroom after our class session was over and lunch break started.
“Yea,” I said in an unconvincing voice but smiled.
“Was that Gerard outside when you came into class?” she asked eagerly.
“Uh yea, that was him.”
“Naww,” she cooed. “You guys look perfect together.”
It took me a few seconds to remember that Gerard told the girls that we were together. I tried to put my mood into it, as if we were together. But I didn’t know how to... act like. So I just smiled and thanked her.
“Well, did you guys have sex then?” Toni asked looking tired.
My eyes widened. I didn’t know how to answer that. I shooked my head, “No.”
“Come on girl! You’ve got one fine piece of dude! Do it!”
I pulled one side of my lips up, I really didn’t like the way she addressed him.
“Toni just leave her alone, maybe she’s not ready. I mean she is a virgin anyway,” Maria nudged her.
“Dude! You’re like 18 now... and you’re still a virgin? You’re missing out heaps babe,” she scoffed and mumbled that she needed the bathroom and walked off.
I knew what Toni was saying was bullshit. But it kinda got me thinking. Why was Gerard lying to Toni and Maria that we were a couple? Why did he confess his feelings to me and yet we haven’t done anything yet. Not even a kiss. It suddenly got me frustrated... what if he was just... playing me?


That’s all I’m writing. It took me heaps of days to write this piece of shit.
A lot just happened and I can’t quite take it all in
1, I went to see my ex (the one that dumped me a month or two ago) and we kinda got talking, she said some shit that changed everything.
2, I broke up with my gf coz I couldn’t do it anymore and I started seeing my ex
3, the ex and I got back together...
4, now after a fucking week, we’re going back to seeing each other... =/ idk if we’re still together or not but it’s for sure killing me
Why do I have to fall in love with... an immature girl? Gah! I was completely lying to myself saying that I was over but that was never true... I really don’t know what to do... I don’t know if I should just dump her and get on with life... (If I can manage that, that is) or just hold on
5, again I’ve been questioning my sexuality... lately I’ve been dating girls only and not interested in boys... could that mean I’m a lesbian? If I am... fucking will kill my family and shiz... fucking hate being muslim anyway...
Idk why I’m posting little blogs here... I guess from the anonymity.

Anyway, review if you want. I don’t expect any, it’s pretty shit. I’ll be better next time, I promise.
Oh btw, readers in australia... if you have a hiptop email me!! I like... get bored heaps =/
cookies@hiptop.com.au
Thanksxx