Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Like I Did Yesterday
The minute I arrived home that day I quickly slipped into my bedroom. I wasn't up for a greeting from Gerard. I just needed to think, but at the moment thinking was too much for me... I just needed to be calm. This whole paranoia mixed with nervousness, anger and frustration overwhelmed me. I found myself lying in bed and just worrying over things that might just happen. It brought me back to those old times where... where...
"Yo, Nicole."
There was knocking on my door. Dammit, I completely forgot about him being in the house! I quickly got up and opened my door, "Hm?"
"I heard you come in and when you didn't come and say hi I got worried..." he dropped his gaze to the floor and looked back at me, "So is everything okay?"
"Mhm," I nodded. It seems that I really couldn't say a word in case my voice broke.
He didn't seem quite convinced but also nodded anyway. "Well, I'll leave you to it. I'll call you when dinner is ready," he gave me a quick smile and disappeared down the corridor.
I sighed and close my door. I was hoping I'd come back to my senses before dinner.
I really didn't know why I was frustrated over this situation. I mean... Gerard did tell me he liked me and that's cool. We haven't kissed or anything and that's cool too yea? And we haven't... really spoken about what's happening to us too... I guess that's cool too. I mean I wished for Gerard to tell me he felt the same way as I did for him, and it happened... but I also wished for it to go further than that.
Stop asking for too much!
I don't need all of that. I'm happy without it.
It wasn't very convincing...
I just wanted to murder my stomach for being a pain in the backside. I felt sick as I stirred my spoon in the mashed potato. It looked so good but I couldn't eat it, I was afraid I might throw up. I hated how my body reacted to my emotional stress.
"So what's up Nicole?" Gerard dropped his spoon on his half full plate and stared at me.
"Nothing," I stared down at the now weird looking mashed potato.
"I'm not taking nothing as an answer. Somethings bugging you which is bugging me, so spit it out. I may be able to help with your problems," his face was filled with sincere.
"How do you know you can help?" I again avoided looking at him.
"I've had a lot of life experiences than you, I can help."
"Well you can't help with this."
"Why?"
"Maybe because you're part of the problem," I told him straight out. My voice was sharp and mean and I didn't care. I felt the need to blame him. It was his fault that I felt this way. It was always his fault with how I felt with everything. But it was my fault for letting him take over me.
"How am I your problem?" he pushed his plate out of his way and leaned on the dining table while staring darkly at me. "Here I am, keeping out of your way, moving all the way here just so you can continue college and there you are telling me I'm your problem?"
"That isn't why you're my problem Gerard!"
"Then why am I the blame? Is it because I don't give you freedom or something? Because I for sure do! You just never step out of the house without me."
"How dare you criticise about how I live! Well I'm sorry that I can't do anything without you in it. Because frankly I'm just so caught up on you that I'm blinded by the fact that this isn't going anywhere! I'm so lost and confused with everything that I'm thinking this is a waste of time."
"This is just ridiculous..."
"No! You're ridiculous! You tell me you like me but you haven't even kissed me yet. You haven't spoken to me about what could happen to us. And you lied to my friends that we were going out when we aren't, when I really want to! Gah! You are just impossible!" I pushed my chair out and walked out of the room.
I couldn't believe that I just yelled at him. I couldn't also believe that I let out all my thoughts to him.
I sharply let out my breath as I walked around in my room. I didn't know if I should just go and apologise to him or just wait for him to talk to me.
By the time I've made my decision to go apologise, it seems that Gerard wanted to talk to me when he knocked my door.
I breathed in deeply before opening the door. I was full doing those deep breathing that they do in yoga to calm down my nerves, but my breath got caught short from something I've never expected in my wildest dreams...
I like pie.
And you should like to review (:
"Yo, Nicole."
There was knocking on my door. Dammit, I completely forgot about him being in the house! I quickly got up and opened my door, "Hm?"
"I heard you come in and when you didn't come and say hi I got worried..." he dropped his gaze to the floor and looked back at me, "So is everything okay?"
"Mhm," I nodded. It seems that I really couldn't say a word in case my voice broke.
He didn't seem quite convinced but also nodded anyway. "Well, I'll leave you to it. I'll call you when dinner is ready," he gave me a quick smile and disappeared down the corridor.
I sighed and close my door. I was hoping I'd come back to my senses before dinner.
I really didn't know why I was frustrated over this situation. I mean... Gerard did tell me he liked me and that's cool. We haven't kissed or anything and that's cool too yea? And we haven't... really spoken about what's happening to us too... I guess that's cool too. I mean I wished for Gerard to tell me he felt the same way as I did for him, and it happened... but I also wished for it to go further than that.
Stop asking for too much!
I don't need all of that. I'm happy without it.
It wasn't very convincing...
I just wanted to murder my stomach for being a pain in the backside. I felt sick as I stirred my spoon in the mashed potato. It looked so good but I couldn't eat it, I was afraid I might throw up. I hated how my body reacted to my emotional stress.
"So what's up Nicole?" Gerard dropped his spoon on his half full plate and stared at me.
"Nothing," I stared down at the now weird looking mashed potato.
"I'm not taking nothing as an answer. Somethings bugging you which is bugging me, so spit it out. I may be able to help with your problems," his face was filled with sincere.
"How do you know you can help?" I again avoided looking at him.
"I've had a lot of life experiences than you, I can help."
"Well you can't help with this."
"Why?"
"Maybe because you're part of the problem," I told him straight out. My voice was sharp and mean and I didn't care. I felt the need to blame him. It was his fault that I felt this way. It was always his fault with how I felt with everything. But it was my fault for letting him take over me.
"How am I your problem?" he pushed his plate out of his way and leaned on the dining table while staring darkly at me. "Here I am, keeping out of your way, moving all the way here just so you can continue college and there you are telling me I'm your problem?"
"That isn't why you're my problem Gerard!"
"Then why am I the blame? Is it because I don't give you freedom or something? Because I for sure do! You just never step out of the house without me."
"How dare you criticise about how I live! Well I'm sorry that I can't do anything without you in it. Because frankly I'm just so caught up on you that I'm blinded by the fact that this isn't going anywhere! I'm so lost and confused with everything that I'm thinking this is a waste of time."
"This is just ridiculous..."
"No! You're ridiculous! You tell me you like me but you haven't even kissed me yet. You haven't spoken to me about what could happen to us. And you lied to my friends that we were going out when we aren't, when I really want to! Gah! You are just impossible!" I pushed my chair out and walked out of the room.
I couldn't believe that I just yelled at him. I couldn't also believe that I let out all my thoughts to him.
I sharply let out my breath as I walked around in my room. I didn't know if I should just go and apologise to him or just wait for him to talk to me.
By the time I've made my decision to go apologise, it seems that Gerard wanted to talk to me when he knocked my door.
I breathed in deeply before opening the door. I was full doing those deep breathing that they do in yoga to calm down my nerves, but my breath got caught short from something I've never expected in my wildest dreams...
I like pie.
And you should like to review (:
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