FicWad

When the door bell rang, Ryan was in the kitchen and was startled by the sound. It was Sunday, it was late and he was about to get some pizza left overs and eat them in bed. Faith was at work and he couldn’t think of anyone else who’d want to see him this late on a Sunday.

That’s why he almost choked on his own spit when he opened the door.

“Hi, Ryan.” Keltie said with a shy smile.

“Um- hi.” Ryan said, standing quite stiff on the door frame. It took him another second to snap out of his confusion and let the woman in. “Uh, sorry but-” He started, pondering what would be the nicest way to ask. Keltie looked at him with a smile.

“I know you’re wondering what I am doing here…”

Ryan nodded as response while both walked to the living room. Keltie sat on the couch and Ryan didn’t, standing awkwardly in front of her.

“Well, I don’t know…” Keltie started, biting her lip and looking down while she spoke. “I think- we haven’t talked in a while and I just wanted to know how are you doing?” She said between a question and a suggestion.

“I’m- fine, I guess.” Ryan said scratching his head. He looked around the room feeling like he wanted to escape, but was still glued to his spot on the floor.

“That’s great.” Keltie smiled at him this time, locking eyes for a couple of seconds. She stood up again and went to stand in front of him. “I’ve missed you, you know?” She soothed, biting her lip and stroking Ryan’s arm, reading his nervousness right away. She knew to take advantage of it too.

“Do you- want anything? Soda? Beer? Something?” He asked; her body was only inches away from him, but he couldn’t get away as his legs didn’t seem to work.

“A soda would be fine.”

Keltie smiled at him and Ryan felt again the strong need of escaping and this time fetching the drinks provided him of an excuse to do so. Once in the safety of the kitchen and away from her sight, he leaned on a counter, taking a few deep breaths. Keltie could NOT be there, she could NOT be doing this, not after all what happened. Besides, he knew her too well… he knew why she was there. He wasn’t a complete idiot, despite what Keltie could think. No, he wasn’t an idiot, only a little scared of facing her… he knew Keltie made him weak, made all his resolutions and convictions turn to dust. So the easy way out was to listen to whatever she had to say and then make her leave.

Ryan took another deep breath, feeling a little more confident now that he had taken a decision and went back to the living room carrying two soda cans. Keltie heard his steps and turned around.

“I’m- I’m sorry, Ryan, I shouldn’t have come.” Her face was white and her voice wasn’t the soothing tone she had used when she arrived.

Ryan looked at her confused at the sudden change. “What-?”

“I didn’t know. I’m so sorry.” Keltie bit her lip and got close to him, a small piece of paper in her hand, which she handed to him. “They were- I just stuck my hand between the cushions and…” Keltie sighed. “I didn’t know you both were that serious. Or I wouldn’t have come.”

Ryan took the paper, which turned out to be ultrasound pics. Faith’s name was in white little letters in the corner, along with how long her pregnancy was: 8 weeks and 4 days. Keltie kept apologizing and saying she’d leave now, but Ryan’s ears were filled with a buzz that made him deaf. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the pics.

Why Faith didn’t tell him? Why did she lie when he asked her? Why was she hiding this from him? Ryan felt rage and disappointment grow inside his chest, squeezing the air out of his lungs.

“Ryan?” Keltie said and the sound came back to his eardrums.

“Yeah, I’m- sorry. Y-you better go, Kelts.” Ryan stammered a little, clutching the pics and looking at Keltie again. She nodded, visibly disappointed while she picked up her purse and followed Ryan to the front door.

.~

“Yana?”

For the second time that weekend, ‘Back to the future’ was interrupted by Aiyana’s phone. This time it was Ryan calling.

“Cousin.” She said munching her popcorn.

“Did you know Faith is pregnant?” Ryan asked her right away and Aiyana choked on the popcorn, coughing on the phone. “So you did! Did you- did any of you thought about telling me by instance?” He said bitterly.

“Faith made me promise--”

“SHE told you not to tell me?”

“Ryan-”

“I can’t fucking believe it!”

“Calm down, okay? She- she had her reasons and you should ask her, not me.” Aiyana tried to calm her cousin down, as it was obvious he was about to do something incredibly stupid. “How- how did you find out?”

“I found her US pics.” Ryan deadpanned and Aiyana sighed.

“Ryan- look at the pics again.”

“Why?”

“It was a blighted ovum, Ryan.”

“What?” Ryan asked. Aiyana knew he was looking at the pics again. “Fuck…” She heard him mutter and groan at the other end of the line.

“You- you have to talk to her. I tried to convince her to tell you, but-- you know her better than I do.” Aiyana pushed the bowl of popcorn to the side and sat Indian style on the bed, rubbing her face. She knew this would happen… she knew Ryan would find out somehow. And by the way the silence thickened on the phone, Aiyana knew Faith set up herself for disaster. “Ryan?” She said softly.

“You’re right. I have to talk to her.” Ryan deadpanned again before Aiyana heard the tone that indicated the call was finished.

.~

When Ryan arrived to the hospital, he entered through the parking lot door, so he was sure to avoid the ER, where Faith would be. Yeah, he needed to talk to her, but first, he needed some answers from Spencer, who he knew had helped Faith. Ryan was nearly running down the halls heading to the OB lounge and only stopped in front of the door. He knocked.

“Come in!” Spencer’s voice echoed through the door and Ryan entered. “Ryan… hi.” Spencer said, puzzled.

Ryan closed the door and paced on the small room. “Spencer… I know…” He stopped and sighed, pulling the US pics from his pocket. “I know you helped her. Aiyana too and- she said-” Ryan stopped again, running a hand through his hair.

Spencer took the pics and huffed. “I told her this would happen.”

“Aiyana said Faith didn’t wanna tell me cause it was a blighted ovum.”

“Yeah.” Spencer nodded. “Last Monday Faith came in the middle of the night shift asking me to do an US on her cause she was pregnant. That’s the result.” He said pointing at the pics.

“So she’s--?”

“No. The egg was empty and she got a D&C yesterday.”

“A D&C?” Ryan fell on the couch, hands linked in front of his face, biting his knuckles. “Why didn’t she tell me? She had 8 weeks to tell me… I just- I don’t get it.”

“I can’t help you with that, Ryan. She had her reasons and you should ask her about them.” Spencer sat on a chair and looked at Ryan. “She’s in the OR right now. Jon called like half an hour ago… she should be about to come out.”

Ryan bit the inside of his cheek. “Yeah, I have to do that.” He said quietly, and then rubbed his face.

He didn’t know what part of the whole thing made him so upset, but he knew Faith held the answer to that. Saying goodbye to Spencer, Ryan took the back alley to the OR, and waited for Faith to finish, hiding in the OR lounge.