Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > A Heart On The Mend

12. Broken

by Firith 0 reviews

Category: Panic! At The Disco - Rating: R - Genres: Drama,Romance - Published: 2009-08-10 - Updated: 2009-08-10 - 1095 words - Complete

William was smiling. Why something as simple as being able to sew skin made him smile, he did not know, but it did. Faith was already writing the procedure in the patient’s chart and then getting a copy on the computer.

“You done?” Faith asked, still typing.

“Yeah.” William said, snapping off the gloves.

Faith watched him for a second and went to the OR lounge, where the printing machine was. William trotted two second behind her, only to see Faith standing on the doorway.

“Beckett, get the file and go back to the ER. If you need to sign anything ask Dr. Way, I’ll be right out.” She said and William obeyed, realizing Ryan was there and he could cut the tension with a butter knife.

No one said anything until the boy left.

“What’s wrong? What are you doing here?” Faith asked quite puzzled. She knew it was something bad, by Ryan expression, the stiff way he sat on the bench staring at her coldly.

He watched her for another minute before standing up, reaching inside his pocket and giving her the US pics. “This. This is what’s wrong.” He deadpanned and got back to his spot on the bench, still looking at her.

Faith didn’t have to look at the pics to know what they were. She said nothing. Ryan stood up again and started pacing, closing and locking the door.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked. She remained silent. “Why? How could you hide this from me?” Ryan came to a stop in front of her, but Faith could look at him and kept her eyes fixed somewhere in the wall behind him.

“I didn’t-” Faith sighed. Her ideas and thoughts were all over the place, tangled up in knots, just like her tongue. “I couldn’t- I didn’t know how…” She finally said in a little voice and dropped her eyes to the floor.

“I asked you, Ash.” Ryan was mad. He was one of the few who didn’t call her Ash, except when he was mad. “I asked you if you were pregnant and you said no.” He said, anger tainting every syllable, even if the tone didn’t show it. “I deserved to know this, Ash. I deserved to be there when you got the US and I deserved to be there when you got your D&C.”

“You already talked to Spencer then…” Faith crossed her arms on her chest. Ryan nodded.

“Please… please, help me understand this.” He asked, sitting again on the bench. Faith was still facing the floor, biting her lip hard and taking deeps breaths to keep from crying.

She couldn’t find the words, or the place to start explaining anything.

“I don’t know, Ryan. I just-” Faith blinked fast a few times. “I didn’t know how to tell you. We’re--” She stopped again. “What are we?” Faith sighed, this time the tears sprung by themselves and she did nothing to stop them. “I freaked out to find out I was pregnant, and… I don’t know if Spencer told you, but… It just didn’t feel right.”

“You knew it was a blighted ovum before you came to Spencer?”

“I wasn’t sure, I just had a strong feeling something wasn’t right.” Faith rubbed her upper arm, feeling the exact same cold she felt before, like her groins had gone numb. “What was the point in telling you? There was nothing there.”

“But you didn’t know for sure. And still…” Ryan started pacing again. “It was mine too… my- blighted ovum or whatever.”

In other circumstances, Faith would’ve found that statement really funny, but the way and the look in Ryan’s eyes made the phrase anything but.

“What are we, Faith? Apparently nothing…” Ryan said, standing in front of her again. “Is it that you don’t wanna be with me?” Faith was certain she didn’t wanna answer that.

“How did you--”

“I didn’t… Keltie did. She found them in between the cushions of the living room couch…”

Ryan trailed off, as Faith’s head snapped up at hearing Keltie’s name.

“Keltie was in your apartment.” Faith said, not really a question, but a statement. Ryan stepped back, his face going from the disappointed look to a nervous one.

“She- she dropped- That’s not the point! The point is that if it wasn’t for her I wouldn’t have found out about this!” He snapped, but Faith didn’t budge this time.

“Maybe you should go thank her, then. Don’t you think?” Faith was the mad one now, out of sheer jealousy.

“Don’t turn this on me! I wasn’t the one who hid a baby!”

“There was NO baby, Ross!” She said flailing the pics in front of his face. “There was no baby and you have no idea what that felt like! You have no idea…” Faith stopped again, wiping her face clean of the tears.

“If you’d have told me, I could have known! I’m not a fucking psychic!” Ryan walked in circles, running a hand on his hair. “You didn’t have to deal with it alone, and if you did, it was your own choice.” He said, this time viciously, as if he wanted her to hurt. “I- I’ll ask you again, is it that you don’t wanna be with me? At all?”

If Faith didn’t wanna answer that question 3 minutes ago, now she did. “Maybe I don’t wanna be with someone who sleeps with his ex while I’m working.” She said slowly, watching Ryan’s face transform into a cold stare that matched hers. “We have- HAD no obligations to one another. I didn’t have to tell you anything.”

Ryan stepped back again, reading between the lines of her last sentence. He sure knew her well enough to read her right. “So this is it?”

“So it seems.”

The cold was back and Faith rubbed her arm in a nervous habit.

“Do I get an apology?” Ryan said.

“I’m not sorry for not telling you, if that’s what you mean.”

Ryan nodded again, biting on his lower lip, his face stoic. The rage, the disappointment, the anger… all of it was gone, and all the hope of evolving into something more with Faith along with them. He didn’t say anything else and walked pass her, leaving the room.

Leaving her.
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