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Holly Evans and the Spiral Path

Chapter 28: Holly Days



9th March, 1994



Minerva,

First, I'd like to thank you for the assist when I rescued Buckbeak from his execution. I was really hoping not to have Harry go to court, given how well my last excursion played out. Your timely misdirection gave us the opportunity to give Walden One-Eye and the other Ministry official the slip. It was easy enough to break the chain and make friends with Bucky again, but without your involvement I doubt I would have gotten the Silencing Charm in place before my noble steed freaked out over the feeling of Disillusionment dripping down over his body. Thank God for my Quidditch skills- he nearly dumped me in the Black Lake twice as we rode off. I so missed flying. That was simply wonderful.

I suppose you're wondering what I'm doing out of Azkaban. The most direct answer is; not being in it. That place sucks dead donkey dick.

I apologise. That was my attempt at living up to my convict mystique by applying their stereotypical 'degenerate decorum'. I still carry a lingering dread from my time there, and visiting Hogwarts as Harry with all the Dementors prowling about was a true test of my willpower over the fear. I'm getting better. Natalia is helping. Just like she helped me to escape. Hah! Now you're stuck, because I'm going to tell you exactly how we did that, but the vow you took will prevent you from speaking about it to anyone. I'm sorry for playing you in this way, but I need to remain sane and away from interference. Between 25th January and 2nd February my whole world was destroyed and remade. Simply put, I need the holiday.



After the trial was over, the Aurors brought me to a secure area, and an hour later we were dropped by portkey onto the storm-beaten outcropping the taller Auror named Dawlish calls the Landing Pad. It gives a wonderful (read: horrifying) view of the fortress itself, a great basalt triangular-footprint tower probably 100 meters high and half as much to each side. As if the North Sea wasn't already freezing, the Dementors add their own chill to the area. Both my escorts shuddered, but the short one tried to make light of the situation to help intimidate me. He said, "Gee, Dawlish. With the other spectres visiting school in Scotland, it's nigh on pleasant, innit?"

My cell was close to the ground and close to the gate. From the guards' perspective that was more merciful, as the Dementors tend to swoop around the upper floors. You don't want a room with a view. The further inside you go, the less effect they have. My view included an occasional glimpse of the Landing Pad, when the rough seas weren't obscuring everything or splashing into my arrow-slit window. I didn't see that view for very long though. Within an hour of my arrival at least a dozen Dementors started crowding around my exterior wall like suckling pigs to their sow.

I have said before that I am not fearless, that I just shunt the disruptive feelings to handle them later in safety. The only problem with that technique is this: what if there is no safety to be had later? I stood up against their assault for as long as I could. Apparently someone made some money, as I could hear a brief cheer over the sound of my own screams when I ran out of places to run to in my mind. I have no idea how long that took.

An eternity later, the pain and my screams and the other awful sounds and visions in my head seemed to lose their volume, until I could see that I had a visitor.

"T-tonks?"

On the other side of my cell door stood a person I could swear was my new friend aside from the dull mud-coloured hair hanging limply around her face. Natalia looked like her whole family had just been killed in front of her. She was blubbering and bent over slightly, hanging onto the iron crossbars and looking past the meter-long fireplace spikes projecting from the joints of the ironwork to look at me shivering on my cot.

"H-holly! Y-you look like Hell. (SOB) I, I, I, I had to pull some strings to come see you but I don't know how long I can s-s-stayyy (whimper) in this place, y'know?" She started crying and looking everywhere around her like something big was about to swoop down. I noticed the Auror amulet that kept the creatures at bay shining around her neck, but Natalia had nothing for mental defenses. She could probably feel them even through its protection.

"So, I'm... not done... yet?"
"No, no, sorry. Ahhhh, you've been h-here... four days."

I guess my panicked expression set her off because she started sobbing again.

"Oh, Holly! Just... take this! Take it! Please take it." She almost grudgingly tossed a crinkled paper bag into the cell where it landed next to me. I sat up on the cot and opened up the sack while Tonks twisted down to lean against the cell door and began weeping like a grieving widow.

Chocolate.

One piece and I felt like I did after the basilisk was through with me. A second piece, and I was realising that my anticipated fortune to enable my freedom was nothing but a giant file cabinet of other people's used bog roll. The third piece brought me back to clarity.

"Tonks. Natalia."

"(Snif) Yes, Holly?"

"I am so... amazed to see you. I can't tell you how much this means to me."

Natalia turned towards me from where she was slumped against the cell door.

"Ohhhhhh, Holly. I... I can't stay! I have GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE!"

"Yeah, me too. Natalia, I can't tell you, but I can show you how I feel about seeing you here. Expecto Patronum." A diminutive owl, no larger than an apple appeared in my right hand. With a gesture, I sent it fluttering past the iron spikes to rest in front of Natalia's stunned face. It began to rub against her cheek and she started to cry again, but her expression of joy was obvious. I can't fault her for enjoying the feeling. Mini-Hedwig had made my first hour bearable. I just couldn't sustain her when the swarm came after me. I was alone then. Now Natalia was here. It makes all the difference in the world to know someone cares about you when you're trapped in a horrible place. That's what Hermione did for me right before I faced Quirrel-mort. I have a new Patronus memory now; Natalia's horrified tear-stained face, saying I looked like Hell!

"I need your help, Natalia."
"Uh huh." Her blissful expression was a balm to my eyes.

"I need you to get a few things from the madhouse and bring them here for me."

"Yeah, OK." Tonks' eyes popped open. "What?!"

"I need you to get..."
"I... I... I can't!"

"Do your Auror's vows prevent you from bringing things for me to read?"

"Well, no. (Snif) Strictly speaking as a cadet it wasn't a vow so much as a promise, anyway. It's just... I... I REALLY don't want to come back here, Holly!"

I bit into another chunk of chocolate and adjusted my position to sit on the cot more comfortably.

"So it's not that you can't, just that you won't."

"I... I don't know. I've only known you a little while and I think you're a hoot anna half, but..."
"Tonks, I hate to do this to you..."
"What? Oh, no..."

"By your vow, I command you to aid me now in my time of need. You will go to the madhouse and bring back for me tomorrow the following items; Underground Potions Quarterly 1825 edition, the three books related to blood magic sitting on the shelf behind the desk and 2 pounds of high-quality dark chocolate. Oh, and a Blood Replenisher potion."
"Holly, please..."
"Do you understand my instructions?"
"Well yeah, but does it have to be dark chocolate? That stuff's all bitter."

"After all that, you're complaining about the chocolate?"
Tonks' death gaze would have had more impact if the subject wasn't so ridiculous.

"I take my chocolate very seriously little girl!"

"Yeah, but you have horrible taste in it. I suppose you favour white..."

"Love it!"

"Philistine!"

"What's this got to do with Motown?"

Needless to say she came back the next day. Tonks had been avoiding the Azkaban rotation in her Cadet tours, as she knew already what being exposed to the Dementors would do to her. We were operating on a tight schedule, as she only had 5 days on the rotation before her tour was done. Originally she had arranged to swap for desk duty with another cadet, but she was compelled by the rules to at least show up once. Her training commander was actually impressed that she came back for the other four days. It turns out he knew about the swap and was about to flush her out of the service for lack of professionalism. My interference(and her frequent nuzzling breaks with mini-Hedwig) had effectively saved her career. By the third day of her visits, I had a fully realisable plan (not to mention a borrowed Dementor-Away amulet).

"You're insane!"

"But it will work. I'm sure of it. You just bring the materials prepped as far as you can get them and we can brew this thing up in a nonce."

"No, I mean there's no way you have the ingredients! I know you've a bit of gold socked away in that sack on the desk, but Holly, some of it is just un-buyable!"

"Like what?"

"Well, first of all we need a bunch of blood, I mean like two gallons of it. Human, too!"

"I've got a good start going in my filth bucket. That was why I asked for Blood Replenisher. Next."

"You don't happen to be ragging at the moment?"

"Egg. Ask Dobby to show you the jars. Check."

"And where do you propose to get the sperm... never mind. Slipped a thought."

"Bingo."

"Erumpent Horn?"

"Lily had some- that stuff never goes bad, only intensifies."

"Couatl, Hippogriff or Griffon feather. Wait, is that what's stuck in the planter?"

"Yup. I've met the donor in person."

"Better you than me!"

"Not fond of flying creatures?"

"Creatures in general don't agree with me. My forte is Potions and Defense. Alright, here's your clinker you saucy mad alchemist, where would you find unicorn blood?"

"Third shelf behind the jars marked 'Pansyjuice' and 'Catify'."

"Holy Holly holidays! Where in Merlin's name did you find that? That stuff's hellishly expensive!"

"Oh, lying around. I hope it hasn't spoiled; it's two years old now."

"Wait! You were the one killing unicorns in the Forbidden Forest?"

"What? No! That was Riddle. Hagrid and the Centaurs chased him off from feeding on one. I helped Hagrid burn up the poor critter's body and kept about a half-pint of the stuff that had bled onto the rocks to satisfy my interest. It's not like I would have killed a unicorn to get it, but he was already dead and the stuff was just there. Natalia, stop looking at me like that."

"Like what?"

"Like I'm the anti-Christ."

"I'm not! I'm bloody impressed! And here I thought you got all tough 'cause of the Basilisk thing; you were a right hardcase from the start."

"Do you find this appealing?"

Tonks played at reaching through the bars at me.

"No, I can't reach your clothes right now, but if you want to start peeling on your own..."

After a while the innuendo just gets to me. We're standing in a prison after all. I stood up from my cot and dropped my sackcloth tunic to the ground to give Natalia a show of my dirt-smudged and dehydrated sexiness.

"Ahh... I didn't mean... you don't have to..."

"Hah! Two points for Holly!" I shot my arms up and bounced tiptoed in a circle. After my little victory dance I noticed that Natalia wasn't smiling anymore. She looked... focused.

"H-holly? I... I need to get you more chocolate. Some blood. A bunch of supplies."

"So you'll come back?"

"Holly, we need to get you out of here."

"What, just so we can have sex? You must be getting desperate if you're turned on by me in this state!"

"No, because I just realised that you are very important to me. And you've suffered enough."

"Natalia?"

"I will be back."

Tonks turned around and gave me a sultry smile through her suddenly tear-stained face. "(Snif) Oh, and if you decide to reward my motivated assistance with sex later, that would be smashing! I'd take it as an early birthday present though, not for payment."

Tonks headed off and I didn't see her for the rest of the day. After she had headed away I took a look over my body but I didn't see anything out of place or unusual. My new scars on the front almost match the ones on my back; they're broader but there are fewer of them. Like tiger stripes, only backwards. I guess Natalia hadn't really put it all together before that point.

At the start of the last day of her tour, Natalia rolled an iron ball to me in my cell as a satiny mini-Hedwig flew to nuzzle her chest underneath her Auror's cloak. After she returned to her rounds, I expanded the portable cauldron. By the end of her shift, my cell was crowded by another naked me. A simulacrum. Sim-Holly lay on the cot shivering as the first breaths of her new life rattled through her lungs. Tonks showed up to check on my progress. I was just finishing some 'programming' when she piped up with a worrisome tone.

"Holly, I hate to spoil the party, but the other guards aren't going to be fooled by this."
"What are you talking about? She looks just like me!"

"Th-there's no... oh, Merlin. Holly, she has no... scars."

I cannot express how hard it was... never mind. We solved the problem.

The cries probably helped the other Aurors believe I was back to suffering from Dementor-suck.

Tonks let me out after I put the tunic on Sim-Holly and gave her a kiss on the forehead. The good news is that she has no memory, so there's nothing for the Dementors to torment her with. The bad news is she has nothing to do but sleep in the cold, eat, defecate and snarl at any guards that choose to harass her. Tonks says she blends right in, particularly compared to her cousin Bellatrix. Settled under the Cloak and wearing a simple work robe, I followed Natalia as she led us in a brief walk through to the last guard room gate before the door to the stormy outside. It was then that things got more difficult.

"Hold there! The probes say you've got a passenger, Auror-cadet!"

"Uhh, really?"

Four Aurors drew their wands as Tonks raised her arms in defense. We were stuck in the middle of a narrow steel cage turnstile with almost nowhere to move, made even worse with the both of us in there. I pulled off the Cloak.

"Bloody Hell! It's Harry Potter!"

"Yeah, sorry about this guys. Auror Tonks here was kind enough to smuggle me in for a non press-hounded chat with my... unfortunate sister." I shook my head sorrowfully. One guard seemed to be checking a slate in front of him while the others moved forward to cover us more directly. The watch captain was giving Natalia a fierce evil eye.

"Auror-cadet Tonks! What do you have to say for yourself?!"

"Uhh, well... C'mon now! If your sister had been molested and sent to prison, wouldn't you want to see if you could do something for her? And Dumbledore doesn't let Harry here out of his sight much of ever! This was his only chance. It may not have been all the way cricket, but I think it was the right thing to do! Uhh... don't you?"

"How do we know you're the real Harry Potter?"
"Lend me a wand and I'll vow."
"Why don't you got yer own?"
"Tonks said I shouldn't bring it, as we couldn't check it with you fine Aurors and still avoid an 'official record of visit', which would really bung things up for me. It's really important that... you don't tell anyone I was here. Especially Professor Dumbledore."

They weren't quite there, so I (as Harry) pleaded with their sympathies.

"Look, Holly's almost lost as it is, and she's the only family I've got left. I needed to try to see if I could get through to her, y'know? But I didn't want to fight everyone and their secretary just to get a photo op. I needed to speak with Holly, just us. It's not like she trusts anyone right now. In fact, I'd take it as a personal favor if you'd give her as much space as you can. Let her... consider things. I can't say when I can come back, but if you hear her say anything like she wants to talk to me, send a message through Auror Tonks, here."

"A... personal favor, you say?"
"Absolutely."

"You wouldn't mind then... signing a few autographs, would you?"

The mood in the room changed like sunlight after a storm.

"Suuuurre! I guarantee you'll be the first ones getting them, in fact!"

After some signings and a brief chat about how 'your sister is a right nutter', we went home.

I wonder how Sirius Black pulled it off?

What I really wonder is how none of them noticed I wasn't wearing shoes. Eccentricities of the famous, I guess.



Holly



*



10th March, 1994



Minerva,

You may be pleased to know that Tonks and I don't always get along and that she doesn't agree to everything I come up with. For one thing, she was a bit peeved with the Hippogriff upstairs that 'nearly bit her head from her neck.' When I explained why Buckbeak was there, she ranted at me for a full hour for leaving the madhouse. From Tonks' perspective, she can abide my escape from Azkaban so long as she believes I am still serving my sentence. I mustn't leave, or she'll have broken her word to uphold the law- I was convicted, so I must be held under Auror control for the full three months. I have promised to stay because I care for her, but Tonks' vows aren't going to mean much to her after tonight. This isn't going to make sense unless I go back a bit.

The problem with creating a simulacrum under time pressures and using pre-mixed and transported materials is that you have to accept that your results aren't going to come out perfectly. Made correctly, I would have birthed a duplicate in a cauldron, with an empty mind and no soul but all the physical characteristics otherwise a match, likely to live for as long as any human so long as she was fed and watered properly. In Sim-Holly's case, she begins to melt after 5-10 days depending upon how active she is. So, in order to maintain the illusion that I am still interred in Azkaban Sim-Holly needs an updated infusion of Unicorn and original-recipe Holly blood at least once a week. The obvious solution was for Tonks to volunteer for Azkaban duty to give one of the regulars a break, providing her the opportunity to dose my twisted sister with her needed elixir. It made perfect sense to me. When Natalia came back after her first stand-in shift, she was nearly receding into childhood for all the traumas she had been reliving. I don't think either of us realised how much she depended upon my Patronus to shore up her defenseless mind against the Dementors. I held her for a bit just calming her down and assuring her that she was okay and that I would think of another way to make this all work. We had a very long talk.

[See Tangent: 9403a - a Fair Arrangement]

Actually, we had a short talk. I released her from her vow and we made love. Or had sex. Probably a bit of both mixed in, since I couldn't get her to stop for more than food or a wash-up for several hours. When I regained consciousness I had two revelations. The first, just so we keep count, is that I reeeeeally like how much Natalia likes my breasts. She truly knows how to appreciate my body. The second was that I needed a way to give Natalia the sort of mental barriers I have without the (nearly impossible for her) Occlumency training. For the next week I worked on my solution to the problem. To be more accurate, I worked intensely under the Turner Gyro for nearly a month as the next four days went by. I had reached an impasse in my knowledge and was beginning to get stir-crazy so I went to visit Florean Fortescue on Saturday morning.

I am beginning to wonder how one becomes an ice cream vendor in this world, because Florean seems to know an awful lot about Runelore and the workings of Riddle's fraternity of powermongers for a 'mere confectioner of frozen treats'. He also has a keen eye for deception.

I had taken one of Natalia's cloaks and sized it larger so I could pass unnoticed, sort of. It made me look like a mendicant priest, but my face was covered so I soldiered on. I entered Florean's shop, noting the sign on the door still said 'Closed through February'. When the bell chimed above the door, Florean stood up from behind the counter facing away from me.

"Well this is a surprise. Someone visits me early on a freezing Saturday. I hope you're not here with ill intent."

Florean turned around to look at his customer. I had decided to go with the meek and honest Harry persona and pulled down the hood of the cloak.

"Yeah, I mean no. I don't mean you any harm. My name's Harry. Harry..."
"Potter. Well! You are a bit trusting, aren't you? By all accounts, I could earn some coin for alerting a certain Headmaster of your... truancy, let's say."

"Yeah, I'd appreciate it if you didn't though. Holly spoke well of you and I had hoped..."
"You've been in contact with Miss Evans? How wonderful. It seems so rare that two parts of a divided family get a chance to reconnect after such a long separation. I understand the muggles enjoy fashioning pictureshows out of such drama."

"Yeah, they do. Not my particular cup of tea, though."

"I'm sorry. You seem a bit short-tempered. Did I say something that upset you?"

"No. What I'd really like is a bowl of ice cream."

"Wonderful!I happen to have some! May I interest you in a sample of almond praline parfait? Everyone likes parfait."

"Uhh, sure."

We sat. He brought the bowl- it tasted wonderfully sweet, but with a bitter tang at the end.

"Well, you seem to be enjoying that. I wasn't sure it would suit you. Was there a reason you needed a sample of my glace so early in the day, much less the season?"
"Well, first of all I don't think 'glace' is a word. 'Glass' is the center of a window and 'glaze' is the sweet you add to a baked ham."

"Did you not understand what I was referring to?"
"Well, yeah but..."
"Then we were still communicating. Don't think of language as if it isn't constantly evolving, or you might not understand what is being said."

"This is like a prank for you, isn't it?"
"Yes. Why were you frustrated this morning?"
"Oh! Well, I've been working on this project, see, but I'm having an issue with binding the runes to the... source material. I just needed a pick-me-up to get the brain going, and Holly spoke well of your ice cream. She said it could be quite stimulating. Seemed like a fair option so I slipped away from my minders and came here. As I said, I'm hoping..."
"You can trust in my discretion, my dear friend."

"Right. Right! Thanks!"

"What you're working on reminds me of some Dark magic from times past. You wouldn't be exploring details of the life of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named? One might think you were obsessing."

"Well, I am obsessing. Riddle killed our parents, and Holly believes he's still running around out there. I'm trying to understand how he worked. That way we might know if he's back and active again."

"Sound reasoning. If you're working with runes you must be investigating the Dark Mark."
"Do you know much about it?"
"I have heard things. The symbol itself is a terror for those who survived those times, as to see it in the air meant an evil deed had been done in his name. His most fervent worshippers bore that same Mark upon their arms, and it allowed him to summon them and exert his will through them, or so it has been said."

"Right, I read similar. What I don't get is that it seems to be a corruption of an old clan-bonding ritual, but that summoning-exerting thing wasn't part of their lore. How would he make them his servants?"
"You have access to some very specific research materials. I doubt I have much to add, except to say that dominance is an especially male trait. You are right about the link to the old magical clan-bond. His inspiration were a tribe of pre-Basque warriors that were such a thorn in Rome's side- they would never break under torture, such was their loyalty. Eventually they were overwhelmed by superior firepower."
"Firepower? In Roman times?"
"Greek fire. A mix of explosive sticky fuel that couldn't be easily extinguished. The tribe had wizards, but the whole of the group was more squib-like in capabilities, so they had no defense against the Roman holocaust. It was their loyalty that was legendary. He wanted to recapture that, but you cannot force loyalty with magic, only obedience. Loyalty comes from a desire to support another because you believe in them, not because they offer you something in return, particularly if it's only the cessation of pain."

"I thought his Death Eaters were fanatical. I never heard of any betraying him."
"No, you wouldn't have. Such a scandal would weaken his position terribly. If there was a betrayal, the Mark would tell the tale and the offender would be killed. But once he was defeated, very few of his 'loyal' followers ran forward to advance his cause, did they? No, instead it was 'I was under the Imperius!' Hah! The Dark Lord wanted loyalty. He needed to be able to trust them. Trust is such a fragile thing. To find a way to reinforce trust, to protect it and empower it, to guarantee it, could be more powerful than gold or diamonds. The runework to create an unbreakable bond of trust, of loyalty? That's Art, beyond his ability to manufacture. So he supplanted it with enthrallment. But you can't use magic to directly force a vow. Threaten one's family, maybe, but enact a bonding ritual while Imperioused? At best it would bind the caster of the Imperio!"

"Hang on, how is it you know so much about this?"

"Oh, I read constantly. Ice cream is not a full year business and I prefer to keep busy. Perhaps as I've done you a favour you could return the effort."

"Sure. I mean, I can try."

Florean disappeared into his storeroom for a moment and returned with a round white cardboard container.

"This is a special flavour for your sister. Please do what you can to get it to her."

"Look, I can't even guarantee I'll see her after she's released from her prison..."

"I am confident that you'll find a way. This is Holly's second favorite treat in the world. I'd think you would like for her to have it."

"Well, is there another flavour she prefers more? I could bring both, I suppose. If I can work it out at all..."

"That taste is not one that I sell. In fact, I don't believe she'll have access to that confection for quite some time, if ever. It's sad really. It's a very special, rare vanilla, I'm told."

"Oh. Y'know, I should probably go."

"As you see fit. It was enjoyable to meet you, Harry Potter."

"Well, thank you for your time, and the ice cream. Holly was right; you are one of the most interesting people to talk to."

"I think well of her also."

"You do? Cool."
"Yes. I am becoming more fascinated with each encounter."

"Thanks. Wait, did you mean her or me?"
Florean smiled.

"Yes."



After leaving Florean's shop, I swung by the nearest Barclay's branch for Holly to open an account using the Bearer Bond from the Evans strongbox. It took me a few tries with successively important managers, but I finally convinced them that I wasn't underage, merely short and that the Bond, my inheritance, was a legitimate document. Everything looked to be working out until the assistant to the last manager came into the office and suggested that his boss really needed to use the loo. Whether this was a codephrase both understood or some leftover Compulsion, I can't say. What I can say is that Otis Prewett assures me that Barclay's isn't secretly run by the goblins, though they do interact daily, and that my new business account will never be tied to me specifically by name. It's nice to know that the Weasley family in general supports me. Otis asked that I send his best to the twins and that he hopes to hear from them again soon, though preferably not by owl. I left armed with a black Mastercharge and 900 pounds I needed for grocery money until my release. I was getting sick of rabbits, and I think the rabbits were becoming wary of me. Natalia's cadet stipend barely covers her own food and rent so we'll be feasting together happily for a while, and Dobby can stop stealing fruit from the village.



Following that excursion, I travelled by Floo to Hogsmeade to keep an appointment with my dueling-partner Walden 'One-eye' McNair. I saw Hermione looking despondent as she shambled into the Three Broomsticks and I realised that I could solve three of my problems by talking with her before I went to rescue Bucky. I wanted Newt's help with the Rune work for Tonks, I needed Hermione to check my Arithmancy work (badly, it turned out) and I wanted to know why Hermione was in a funk. Now that I've read the Journal entries from Newt, I'm really working hard not to storm back into Hogwarts to dig out whatever was done to Hermione's brain (other than my Obliviation) and then find the person who did it to tell them how I FEEL about it. Don't worry; you won't see me there until it's publicly appropriate. I vowed to Natalia I wouldn't leave again until we were ready to put me back in prison for my release. Also I'd probably get a longer sentence if the first thing I did once freed was commit another torturous execution of the unjust who are screwing with my life.

Over the last two days I've worked out the final design of... well...

My Mark.

Tonight, Natalia and I are going to share intimacy in every fashion we can come up with and when we're done I will inscribe my Mark upon her to ensure her loyalty, protect her mind and give her some of my other magical talents and personality quirks. If I'm right, she'll be a new woman. And I will be her Lady.



Holly



*



Spiral Tangent: '9403a - A Fair Arrangement' - Natalia and Holly embark upon a physical relationship. Very physical. Some non-erotic talk is in there somewhere, but mostly more vowels than you can shake a stick at.



Author's confession: Don't bother to go looking in Wikipedia for a legendary Celt-Iberian clan that was known for resisting the Romans- I made it up. If it turns out there actually was one, I will attempt to hide my astonishment.