Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Oh Baby!

A Generation Lives On!

by shehadtheworld12 15 reviews

Get ready to experience a wonderful magical gooey gift of life (:

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Humor,Parody,Romance - Characters: Bob Bryar,Frank Iero,Gerard Way,Mikey Way,Ray Toro - Warnings: [!!!] - Published: 2009-08-07 - Updated: 2009-08-09 - 2391 words - Complete

5Funny
A/N: after thinking it through, I have decided that fathers will give birth the natural way [obviously not through the arse] and just to keep an open mind. Remember it is alternate universe, and I don‘t wanna be blamed for mental images :.) Hope you‘re with me on this (: Enjoooooy…
_______________________________________________

“OH MY GOD!” Bob screamed..

“What are you losers waiting for?! Get me to the hospital! I am not having my baby in the grass.”

“Right!” Everyone shouted and scrambled for the cars. Mikey, Gerard, Lindsey, Frank, Alicia, in one car. Ray, Jamia, Bob, Belle, and Christa in the other. The order just got messed up that way.

“Oooh it hurts! Damn it!”

“Bob, remember what we rehearsed. Lamaze class remember?” Belle said softly, and Bob nodded.

“It feels like I have to take a big shi-Ah!!”

“Just keep breathing honey, you’re doing fine.” Jamia encouraged.

“Okay, all I know is that Ray better step on the pedal!”

“Sorry! There was people crossing.” Ray defended himself.

“SCREW the people. I’m having a BABY! Oh!”

“I’m going faster alright?! Just please don’t yell at me.” Ray pouted.
~~~

At the hospital

“Whoa, what’s the emergency?” A nurse asked at the group rushed.

“He’s having a baby.”

“He?”

“Yes me!” Bob was becoming more and more agitated.

“Okay! Umm nurses? I need a room! Code baby!” Another nurse came with a wheelchair. Gerard hissed.

“Bert McCracken, we meet again.” Bert snapped his head up.

“Gerard Way. What a surprise.”

“Didn’t know you became a nurse.”

“Didn’t know you were pregnant.” He smirked. Gerard nodded in defeat.

“Umm guys? Still here!” Bob waved his hands.

“Uh yeah! Let’s go!” Bert pushed into a room where Bob was immediately ordered to change into a paper gown. The nurses hooked him up to machines and he was set to go.

“That’s it, take a seat. Just relax.”

“Relax? I’m feel like I’m passing kidney stones! Do you know how that feels…George?” He pointed to the new nurse who came in. All the nurses were male. That’s incredibly weird.

“No Mr. Bryar I do not.”

“Please just relax.”

“I’m relaxed. I’m cool. I feel high as a rainbow kite, shut it George!” The poor nurse nodded. Belle gave him a sorry look.

“I’m sorry but we have a guest limit. Some of you’s needs to wait outside.” Belle looked at Bob.

“Oww! Umm I choose…Belle.”

“What! How could you! I thought we were amigos!” Frank gasped.

“Nothing personal Frank, but I don’t wanna hear you bitch.”

“Good point. I wuv you!” He kissed Bob on the cheek, much to Bob’s dismay and walked out.

“When can I get that damn spinal cord thing.”

“You mean epidural?”

“I think so.”

“Mr. Bryar, I’m sorry to say, but you’re not even close to what lies ahead. You might want to use it sparingly.”

“No! Oh God! What did I ever do in the past life?” Bob breathed deeply, while Belle pushed his hair out of the way,

“Blah, this sucks ass!”
~~~~~~~

Meanwhile……

“Frank what are you doing?”

“Oh I’m twittering about Bob going into labor.”

“Now?”

“Uhh yeah, what else is there to do?”

“Lindsey I want a doughnut.”

“I’ll get you one in a second okay?”

“Right now!”

“Gerard…” She warned.

“Fine.” He pouted.

“I’m nervous.” Jamia shook her knee.

“Me too.” Alicia nodded.

“Mwee thwee.” Lindsey added in, making the girls laugh.

“Lindsey can I have my doughnut now?”

“Fine!” She yelled and dragged Gerard to the cafeteria.

“So umm who’s next?” Frank smirked, while Ray, Gerard, and Mikey glared.
~~~~~

3 hours later

“GRRRRRR! OWW!”

“Bob breathe!”

“What do you thinking I’m doing woman?!” He huffed at Belle.

“Just like class!”

“He didn’t warn me! Brian didn’t warn me!”

“It’s okay. It’s going to be fine.” Belle kissed his hand.

“I’m so glad you’re here. If you weren’t, Frank would be in here.” She smiled.

“Of course I’ll always be there for you.”

“Oww! The torture. The pain! What did I do to deserve this?!”

“Mr. Bryar, we’re getting close.”

“It’s almost over?” He said full of hope.

“Uhh no, I meant were getting there.”

“Damn you!”

“This is killing me. I need something to break! You! Give me your camera!” He pointed at the passerby who ran as soon as he looked through the door.

“You better run! Watch when I’m finished. That camera is mine!” He glared. It’s been 3 long hours and we all know he wouldn’t be done soon. This was really taking a toll on everyone. Everyone was anxious and the question hung on everyone’s thoughts…who was next? And how long did everyone have to wait for Bob’s baby to show up?
~~~~~

Time Lapse.

“She had apple bottom jeans, boots with furrrr. The whole club was looking at herrrr, she hit the flo‘, she hit the flo’ next thing you know, shorty got low, low, low, low, low-”

“Mikey what are you singing?” Gerard raised an eyebrow.

“I dunno.”

“Well sing something else please.”

“Okay. Workin’ at the car wash-”

“Yeah, you know what? Let’s not sing after all.”

“Awe!” Mikey whined.
~~~~~

After an hour things seemed to settle down. They could still hear Bob begging for mercy in the room, and yet no one knew how to console him. He’d probably yell at them anyways. Gerard finally got his doughnut.
Lindsey laughed as he stuffed his face with the powdered goodness. Christa and Jamia went to use the restroom, while Alicia and Mikey were arguing over what Bob was having.

“It’s a girl!”

“It’s a boy, Alich-uh!”

“It’s a girl, Mi-CHAEL.”

“My name is Mikey.”

“But that’s your name right Michael? I mean you were born with that name, Michael? It shouldn’t bother you Michael. Are you getting mad Michael?”

“Shut up!”

“Yo! Pipe down over there, or you’re outta here!” A security guard called.

“This doesn’t concern you!” Mikey snapped back.

“Whateva.” He stormed off.

“Douche nozzle.”

“Gah! How long are we gonna be here?” Frank whined.

“Well labor usually takes from 2-24 hours.“ Ray said matter of factly.

“Poor Bob. I wonder how’s he holding up.”
~~~~~~~


“Oww! I want drugs NOW!” He yelled.

“No! No drugs!”

“Yes Dammit!.”

“Oh, so you want your kid to come out looking like E.T hmm? You want it to phone home?!”

“Whatever takes the pain away! You have no idea of how much this hurts!”

“Mr. Bryar we’ll give you a spinal block.”

“Thank yooooooou!” He sobbed.

“I can’t do this.”

“Well it’s a little late to just stop…..”

“Really? I didn’t notice!” He snapped sarcastically.

“All patients are like this, while giving labor.” The nurse comforted Belle.

“The doctor should be here soon.”

“Please hurry the hush up!”

“OOoh! This isn’t cool. If this is payback for throwing Mountain Dew in that kid’s face, I’m sorry!” He cried.

“Bob you’re doing so good. Just breathe.”

“I’m trying!”

“Mr. Bryar how are things going?” Dr. Cane walked in with a clipboard.

“This really chaps my ass ya know? Literally! You know I hate hospitals! It’s boring and I mean the least you guys can do is decorate the damn walls for crying out loud, make it fun for some patients. It’s really depressing Doc.”

Dr. Cane was taken a bit back, no one had criticized before.

“I’m sorry you feel that way..?”

“Yeah, you should.”

“Bob.” Belle chided.

“What? I’m just being honest. Christ on a cracker!” He cringed from the contractions that just got worse and worse. Dr. Cane had come closer and checked everything.

“Heart beat is good. You’re getting very close Mr. Bryar.”

“Good, cause I am so over this.”

“You may feel that way, but it’s the end that really takes a toll on you.”

“So I’ve been told. OWW!”

“All we can do is wait for you to become 10 centimeters. Pretty much.” Bob whimpered.

“It hurts Belle.”

“I know honey, but you’re gotta be brave, you can do this.”

“Oh dear, is it crazy that I actually miss Frank?”
~~~~~~~

“I want some coffee!”

“You can’t.”

“But I need it bad! I haven’t gone this long without it.”

“Just relax Gerard.” Ray mumbled.

“I will not relax!”

“Gerard, I mean it. If you don’t stop whining I will…” Ray eyes bulged and looked down.

“Oh my god. My water just broke.” He said calmly.

“What?” Christa leaned over, and indeed there was a puddle.

“Whoa. Okay that hurt.”

“Umm is this happening? Where’s the nurse. Oh my god.”

“OWW! Yes this is happening. Get me help!”

“Nurse! I need help!” Jamia called.

“What’s going on?”

“His water broke.”

“Another one? Oh no, we already got a screamer in the other room. Very disturbing if you ask me.”

“Oww! Just help me lady! I don’t need commentary!” The nurse rolled her eyes and eventually got Ray a room where everyone was officially freaking out.

“Bob! Now Ray! Oh my god this is happening so fast!” Alicia shrieked.

“What if I’m next?” Frank gasped in horror.

“I need a cigarette!”

“I need coffee!”

“I need Skittles! And I gotta Twitter!”
~~~~~~~

Since Bob was already in the process of delivery, Ray was now second to have a babeh. Christa smiled as she held his hand as he was checked.

“Well you’re indeed having a baby now.” One of the nurses raised her eyebrows.

“Ya think? Oww!”

“Ray just like we practiced, it’s finally time.”

“My baby will be here!”

“Yes!”

“Oh I hope she likes the paint!”

“I’m sure she will.” Christa nodded.

“Oww! Okay…that wasn’t pleasant.”

“Contractions are gonna get worse. I’m sorry.”

“Ah! I want Juicy Juice!”

“I don’t think we can give you-”

“You give me my juicy juice! I’ll sue you!”

“That’s what every patient says.”

“Don’t underestimate me buddy, I’m serious.”

“Again, that’s what they all say.”

“Owie! Owie! This hurts like hell!”

“You’re gonna be fine.”

“Mr. Toro. Just keep breathing, the nurses will take care you, Dr.Woodenleg will be in very shortly.

“Whoa, no one said it was hurt this much.”

“Yeah.” Christa nodded.

“Give me your hand!” Ray squealed and squeezed Christa’s hand.

“Okay that umm hurt, my hand isn’t that strong.”

“Don’t start Christa.”
~~~~~~~

A very long time lapse

“Okay, Bob this is it. You’re really gonna need to push.”

“I can’t!” He sobbed.

“Be brave!”

“It hurts too much!”

“Just do it!”

“Fuck me.” Bob sighed. He was fully ready to pop this baby out.

“There ya go. Almost there.”

“Bob this is it!” Belle cried. She had tears in her eyes as she squeezed her best friend’s hand.

“Oh my god, I’m going to explode!”

“Push!”

“Push!”

“Push!”

“Yo, I get it already, I’m pushing!”

“Whoa. Oww. Oww! OWW!.”

“It’s really coming isn’t it?”

“Uh-huh!” The doctor called.

“I can see the head!”

“You can?” Bob said shocked.

“Oh my goodness!” Belle smiled.

“It’s your time to shine Bob. You gotta really push.” Bob prepared himself, and the pressure was slowly increasing and increasing. The pain excruciating. Bob fought back tears as it truly was the hardest thing he ever had to.

“This is it! One, two, three,”

“FOR THE LOVE OF RED BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUULL!” Bob screamed as everything seemed to spin. After a couple seconds. Everything stopped. And the sound of a smack to bottom, and a cry of baby could be heard.

“Congrats Mr. Bryar it’s a boy.”

“A boy?” He smiled tiredly.

“Oh umm wow.” The doctor suddenly raised an eyebrow.

“What’s wrong?!” Bob panicked.

“Mr. Bryar it appears you son has….a beard.” Bob didn’t bother fighting back his tears.

“Well? Are you gonna give him me or not?” They cleaned the baby up and Bob clapped as his son was placed in his arms wrapped in a blue blanket.

“Sup little guy?” He cooed to the bearded baby who had a short Mohawk and blue eyes just like him.

Belle cried as she touched the fingers of the little baby’s hand. Bob smiled up at her and their eyes locked. They both leaned in and soon their lips touched. So sweet and soft, they gasped as they pulled away.

“Wow.” Belle blushed as they tended to the fidgeting baby.

“So you’re the one that helped me catch a case with the court.” The baby opened his toothless mouth. Bob took it as a yes.

“My boy. I shall call you…Robert Nathaniel Cory Bryar the second!”

“The drummer generation lives on!”
~~~~~~~

“Son a brick, this hurts!”

“Just breathe like I told you too.” Christa rubbed Ray’s back as he tensed. He could not believe he was about to be a father, and this baby was causing him very much pain.

“I need Juicy Juice! It’s the only way.”

“You can’t have juice, we’ve been over this a million times.” Dr. Woodenleg

“You don’t understand. I feel like I’m pushing a horse through my behind!”

“I know it hurts Mr. Toro but you gotta be strong.”

“ A man can only try.” He sighed.

“You’re getting very close.” Dr. Woodenleg smiled.

In the midst of Ray giving birth. They heard some screaming outside the door. It sounded like…Frank?

“Why won’t you bitches help me?! Captain Skittles is on his way! Oww!”

“Yep…. That’s definitely Frank.”
___________________________

What are your thoughts? Do I gotcha ya heart racing? Let me know xD So much more to come! Only one chapter left. Cries. Thank you for the awesome reviews, I hoped this chapter made you happeh! I love you all! Continue with the Rates and Reviews! Thank you!

Btw, my birthday is on Thursday, I’m gonna be in Las Vegas [Woot woot!] from Mon-Wed, so updates might not be so soon...Please Rate!!xD
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