(#) IeroMyHeroMCR 2009-08-09Aws i'm sorry huns i wish i could come over and give you a hug. Heres a virtual hug hugs. This was amazing though, your a very good writer!
and virtual hugz are just as good!
thanks for saying i'm a great writer... people only tell me that on here
thankz for reviewing i'm glad you liked it
(#) _Amy_Revenge_ 2009-08-10I'll tell you on yahoo that you're a great writer..if I ever got around to it :) Sorry..that was supposed to be a joke..but at 1:30 am I suppose I'm not funny anymore u_u
That seemed like a reasonable way for Gerard to cope, and I can't help but to wonder if Gerard was supposed to be you? I dunno.. I'm tired and I don't really know what to say. Plus on top of that, I really really really need to pee o_O You probably didn't wanna know that..but anyway, I wrote a new chapter for you :) Hopefully you like it, maybe it'll make you laugh? I sure hope sooo!
(#) ninthlevel 2009-08-15Writing is a great way to express what you're feeling and just get it out there. You captured the emotion of the moment.
If i can make a suggestion without people jumping all over me - just re-read stuff for grammar clarity (even if it is written emotionally, you'll evolve more as a writer by paying attention to that sort of stuff).
For instance, take a sentence like:
"The words replayed in my head as I sighed, before looking at the grass I sat on, my black hair curtaining my face."
You could try something like: "The words replayed in my head. I sighed and stared down at the grass where I sat, my black hair fell in my face like a thin curtain ..."
Sometimes it seems like adding a comma between actions is the thing to do, but watch the grammar of that and make sure everything is in the right tense.
Creativity is an important part of writing, but getting all the technical stuff down can never hurt you, only make your writing better.
Author's responselol thanks
I tend to miss out grammar sometimes, and i also miss out spellings but yeah...
thanks for the review and thanks for corecting me¬
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