Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Hey there
“What. The. Fuck did you think you were doing reading my mail?! Who the hell do you think you are?!” I snapped.
“I just… I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. I wasjustcuriousandIreallyamsorry” He stumbled as I advanced on him.
I grabbed him by the front of the shirt and slammed him against the counter.
“If you tell ANYONE what you know your life will NOT be worth living you nosey bastard. Do you understand me?” he nodded feverishly as I let his shirt go.
“Will you explain it to me” He whispered. “Will you tell me what happened?”
“What the hell is it about you that lets you find stuff out about me that no one knows?” I rubbed my eyes with the heel of my hand. I moved across the kitchen and pulled open the dishwasher. I grabbed two mugs and set them on the counter and flicked the kettle on.
“Coffee or tea?”
“Coffee, black, two sugars” He muttered, sliding away from me. I sighed.
“I’m not going to hit you. I should. But I won’t. Your fucking lucky kid” I leaned against the counter and surveyed him. He stood awkwardly in the doorway, his body slightly angled as if he wanted to leave. “You can leave if you want. If not, sit down. You’re in for a good story.” He pulled a chair out and sat down quickly. I turned my back on him and made my tea and his coffee. I brought the cups to the table and set his down in front of him and sat across from him. I wrapped my hands around the mug and sipped at the hot liquid. It burned my throat going down. “I didn’t poison it. Drink.” Gerard sat with his hands spread on the table in front of him. He grabbed the mug and drank. “Your chest feeling tight? Your windpipe closing yet?” His eyes were like saucers.
“Not yet” he choked out.
“I’m fucking with you. Calm down.” He gave me a weak smile and dropped his gaze to his coffee cup. He traced the swirl pattern the steam made with his pinkie finger.
“What do you want to know?” I sighed.
“Is she your daughter?”
“Biologically yes.”
“But you gave her away. Why?”
“I was 16; Frank didn’t even want to know me anymore. He had his fun and left me and I had to pick up the pieces. I couldn’t bring up a child. I was only a child myself.”
“Where is she now? Tell me what happened.”
“I thought I was late because of stress. I had no other explanation for it. I was on birth control. I had no morning sickness. No cravings. Nothing that would alert me to the child growing in my womb. I didn’t even put on weight. Then I got the pains. Excruciating pain. I thought my appendix had burst so I went to the hospital. You can guess the rest. I was 4 months, three weeks and 1 day pregnant when I found out. I couldn’t stay in Jersey. I didn’t want Frank to know. I moved to a family friend in Chicago. I enrolled in school there to finish out the year. Pregnant or not, I wanted my education. Needless to say I got shit from the other kids, one in particular. They called me Juno obviously.” I laughed “Not the most original but anyway. I finished out the year. I had Lizzy two weeks before my own birthday. She lives with Clair, that family friend and she sends me pictures of my daughter every few weeks because I can’t be there all the time. Now. There you have it.”
“Fuck” was all he said. “I’d never have thought… I mean you haven’t had it easy like. Would you not tell Frank? I think he’d want to know that hes a father.”
“No. He left me and never looked back so why should I share MY daughter with him. He is only a sperm donor.”
“Sarah, you can’t keep this from him forever”
“And you expect me to just skip up to him and say what? ‘Hey Frank, how are you today? Lovely weather eh? And by the way you have a three year old daughter named Elizabeth.’ How the hell do you tell someone that?”
“I dunno, but like I-” his phone buzzed noisily on the table. “Fuck, I gotta take this, Bob freaks when I don’t answer.” I pushed back from the table and walked to the back door before he picked up. I picked up the photos of Lizzy and flipped through them. She looked so much like Frank it hurt.
Why the hell should I have to tell him?
He is the father
No, hes just a sperm donor
She is half of him
He doesn’t deserve her
He still should know
I’ll tell him eventually
When? When she comes to live with you?
I’ll get to it.
Talking to myself... And answering back. I was definitely losing the plot. I shoved the photos back in the envelope.
“Hey Sar, can my friend come over for a bit? I was supposed to meet him and I forgot.”
“Yeah sure.” I replied absentmindedly as I picked up the mugs and rinsed them out in the sink. He grinned at me as he finished his call and snapped his phone shut.
“He should be here in a few. I think you’d like him.” I forced him a smile and turned back to the sink. I felt him stand behind me and he placed his hands on my shoulders and turned me around to face him. “You don’t have to tell him now but he should know.” He implored giving me a slight shake. I just nodded. “Will you tell him?”
“Jesus Christ” I hissed “ I’ve known you less than a day and you know everything about me… I coped for three years with this and never had a second thought about telling him. You come and suddenly I’m arguing with myself in my head and actually having a conscience for once. Yes I know he has a right to know but if he loved me he would have stayed with me that morning and I wouldn’t have had to deal with this on my own”
“That’s why you should tell him; tell him about all the birthdays hes missed, how he completely missed his daughters first three years of life, her first steps, first word, first curl. Make him feel the remorse he should feel. You dealed with this on your own for long enough. Now its time for Frank to be the man he should have been three years ago. You need to make him feel shame for doing what he did to you… And I’ll be here to help you. Franks always been an asshole to girls and it’s about time he got a sharp wake up call.” He smiled at me and I couldn’t help smile back. He bent to kiss me and just before our lips met the doorbell rang. He dropped his hands from my shoulders and turned to get the door. I turned back to the sink and pulled open the dishwasher to start unloading it.
“Hey Sar, this is Bob” I plastered a smile on my face as I turned back to Gerard. My breath came out in sharp hiss as I backed against the counter. Bobs face contorted in a sick grimace.
“Robert Bryar” I hissed.
“If it isn’t little orphan Annie, where’s your dog? Or child. Where’d you leave her Juno?” He sneered. Gerard’s head snapped from me to Bob as if he were watching a tennis match. I lunged forward and Gerard grabbed me round the waist and held me back.
“Eat shit Bryar.”
“Still touchy after all these years.” He grinned taking a step forward.
“I just… I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. I wasjustcuriousandIreallyamsorry” He stumbled as I advanced on him.
I grabbed him by the front of the shirt and slammed him against the counter.
“If you tell ANYONE what you know your life will NOT be worth living you nosey bastard. Do you understand me?” he nodded feverishly as I let his shirt go.
“Will you explain it to me” He whispered. “Will you tell me what happened?”
“What the hell is it about you that lets you find stuff out about me that no one knows?” I rubbed my eyes with the heel of my hand. I moved across the kitchen and pulled open the dishwasher. I grabbed two mugs and set them on the counter and flicked the kettle on.
“Coffee or tea?”
“Coffee, black, two sugars” He muttered, sliding away from me. I sighed.
“I’m not going to hit you. I should. But I won’t. Your fucking lucky kid” I leaned against the counter and surveyed him. He stood awkwardly in the doorway, his body slightly angled as if he wanted to leave. “You can leave if you want. If not, sit down. You’re in for a good story.” He pulled a chair out and sat down quickly. I turned my back on him and made my tea and his coffee. I brought the cups to the table and set his down in front of him and sat across from him. I wrapped my hands around the mug and sipped at the hot liquid. It burned my throat going down. “I didn’t poison it. Drink.” Gerard sat with his hands spread on the table in front of him. He grabbed the mug and drank. “Your chest feeling tight? Your windpipe closing yet?” His eyes were like saucers.
“Not yet” he choked out.
“I’m fucking with you. Calm down.” He gave me a weak smile and dropped his gaze to his coffee cup. He traced the swirl pattern the steam made with his pinkie finger.
“What do you want to know?” I sighed.
“Is she your daughter?”
“Biologically yes.”
“But you gave her away. Why?”
“I was 16; Frank didn’t even want to know me anymore. He had his fun and left me and I had to pick up the pieces. I couldn’t bring up a child. I was only a child myself.”
“Where is she now? Tell me what happened.”
“I thought I was late because of stress. I had no other explanation for it. I was on birth control. I had no morning sickness. No cravings. Nothing that would alert me to the child growing in my womb. I didn’t even put on weight. Then I got the pains. Excruciating pain. I thought my appendix had burst so I went to the hospital. You can guess the rest. I was 4 months, three weeks and 1 day pregnant when I found out. I couldn’t stay in Jersey. I didn’t want Frank to know. I moved to a family friend in Chicago. I enrolled in school there to finish out the year. Pregnant or not, I wanted my education. Needless to say I got shit from the other kids, one in particular. They called me Juno obviously.” I laughed “Not the most original but anyway. I finished out the year. I had Lizzy two weeks before my own birthday. She lives with Clair, that family friend and she sends me pictures of my daughter every few weeks because I can’t be there all the time. Now. There you have it.”
“Fuck” was all he said. “I’d never have thought… I mean you haven’t had it easy like. Would you not tell Frank? I think he’d want to know that hes a father.”
“No. He left me and never looked back so why should I share MY daughter with him. He is only a sperm donor.”
“Sarah, you can’t keep this from him forever”
“And you expect me to just skip up to him and say what? ‘Hey Frank, how are you today? Lovely weather eh? And by the way you have a three year old daughter named Elizabeth.’ How the hell do you tell someone that?”
“I dunno, but like I-” his phone buzzed noisily on the table. “Fuck, I gotta take this, Bob freaks when I don’t answer.” I pushed back from the table and walked to the back door before he picked up. I picked up the photos of Lizzy and flipped through them. She looked so much like Frank it hurt.
Why the hell should I have to tell him?
He is the father
No, hes just a sperm donor
She is half of him
He doesn’t deserve her
He still should know
I’ll tell him eventually
When? When she comes to live with you?
I’ll get to it.
Talking to myself... And answering back. I was definitely losing the plot. I shoved the photos back in the envelope.
“Hey Sar, can my friend come over for a bit? I was supposed to meet him and I forgot.”
“Yeah sure.” I replied absentmindedly as I picked up the mugs and rinsed them out in the sink. He grinned at me as he finished his call and snapped his phone shut.
“He should be here in a few. I think you’d like him.” I forced him a smile and turned back to the sink. I felt him stand behind me and he placed his hands on my shoulders and turned me around to face him. “You don’t have to tell him now but he should know.” He implored giving me a slight shake. I just nodded. “Will you tell him?”
“Jesus Christ” I hissed “ I’ve known you less than a day and you know everything about me… I coped for three years with this and never had a second thought about telling him. You come and suddenly I’m arguing with myself in my head and actually having a conscience for once. Yes I know he has a right to know but if he loved me he would have stayed with me that morning and I wouldn’t have had to deal with this on my own”
“That’s why you should tell him; tell him about all the birthdays hes missed, how he completely missed his daughters first three years of life, her first steps, first word, first curl. Make him feel the remorse he should feel. You dealed with this on your own for long enough. Now its time for Frank to be the man he should have been three years ago. You need to make him feel shame for doing what he did to you… And I’ll be here to help you. Franks always been an asshole to girls and it’s about time he got a sharp wake up call.” He smiled at me and I couldn’t help smile back. He bent to kiss me and just before our lips met the doorbell rang. He dropped his hands from my shoulders and turned to get the door. I turned back to the sink and pulled open the dishwasher to start unloading it.
“Hey Sar, this is Bob” I plastered a smile on my face as I turned back to Gerard. My breath came out in sharp hiss as I backed against the counter. Bobs face contorted in a sick grimace.
“Robert Bryar” I hissed.
“If it isn’t little orphan Annie, where’s your dog? Or child. Where’d you leave her Juno?” He sneered. Gerard’s head snapped from me to Bob as if he were watching a tennis match. I lunged forward and Gerard grabbed me round the waist and held me back.
“Eat shit Bryar.”
“Still touchy after all these years.” He grinned taking a step forward.
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