Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > We'll Call It... Dressing Up
Uncle Jiggaay's POV [I must be getting desperate DX]
Fuck, what the hell is going on up there?! It's been hours. Mikey's taken Ray up to his room to play XBOX or some crap (anything to get him away from me,) and Bob and I are down here in mine. I'm so
worried, he's taking ages. All he said was he'd 'be a few minutes, tops.' It's half eleven now, he's been THREE HOURS. Bob keeps saying it'll be okay, that he'll come down soon, but it's getting to a point where I could smack him if he says that again.
I continued drumming my fingers on the desk, flipping through the pages of my sketch book in desperate hope to distract myself from the voices upstairs. I couldn't hear what was being said, but whatever it was, it did not sound good. I moved my drumming hand to my hair, running it through the black strands over and over again. I picked up a pencil with my other hand and started tapping that on the table, scowling at Bob when he snatched it off me.
'What was that for?' I asked coldly, moving both hands to my hair and looking down at my desk.
'You need to relax, dude, what's your deal?'
'My deal,' I quoted, 'is that my boyfriends mom and dad have just randomly appeared at my house with looks both to kill, demanded they come in and 'talk things over,' when we all know that means drag his son two fucking hours back home to his house when he knows, I know, and just about everyone on this motherfucking planet knows that Frank doesn't want to go!' I felt a few hot tears rolling down my cheeks and put my head on the desk, wrapping my arms round myself, my hands still embedded in my hair. 'He doesn't want to go, does he? I mean, what if this is planned?' I sat up, looking at Bob. 'What if he called that Steve dude to come get him because he was really getting sick of me? And what if this is all a hoax and they're really playing some tape recorded argument up there and-' I was harshly knocked out of my seat by Bob whacking me hard in the face.
'Gerard calm the fuck down.' I sat up, my hand on my cheek and looked at him. 'You're getting fucking paranoid.'
'But I-'
'No, you listen.' He pulled me up and sat me down on the bed, looking me straight in the eye. It was like I was instantly silenced. Woah, I didn't know Bob was this... Actually never mind that.
No no, finish that sentence.
I was going to say forceful.
You were going to say big.
I was not! That’s disgusting you sicko-
Look.
...Woah. I gulped, looking back up at him and blushing. I hate you. Bob put his hands on my shoulders and sat down on my chair, moving closer so he could talk to me.
'Can't you see how fucking in love Frank is with you? You're his whole entire world, Gee. There's no way he's leaving this place without putting up a fight, that’s why he's been up there for ages. He
doesn't want to leave you, man, he loves the fucking crap out of you.' I looked sceptically at him, much as I’d fucking love to believe that, it doesn’t explain his freak out when I told him a couple days ago. ‘Don't even try that look, Way, it's the truth. Why do you think he nearly had a bloody heart attack when he saw Steve in his car when we pulled in? He had a major episode. And you think all that’s a hoax? The way he could hardly speak when you were carrying him back to the house? When those tears started rolling down his face the very minute his mom said they ‘needed to talk’?' I felt a harsh pang of guilt stab me in the chest and shook my head a little solemnly. 'No. And I saw the way he was with you at bowling, he was all over you. And in the car.' Yeah... Wait, he was watching?! 'Don't think I don't notice stuff, Gee, you two are like a married couple, minus the rings. I'm serious, I've not seen a couple click so easily and quickly as you two do. So unless you're some sort of insane psychopath who can't see past the end of his nose that his boyfriend is completely and totally besotted with him, then no, Gerard, Frank is not sick of you, and that’s an understatement.' I... Wow. I looked astonished at him as he sat back in the chair looking smug. I was speechless, I mean, who comes out with that kind of stuff just on a whim?! Of all people, I never thought Bob would be the one to prove me wrong. And that’s meant in the nicest possible way. I closed my slightly open mouth and he laughed, folding his arms. 'For once, Gerard Arthur Way is silenced by the amazing, fabulous-'
'Be quiet, fool.' I said with a smirk, whacking him lightly round the head. 'I.. I'm just not too sure what to say, did you mean all that?'
'Nope.' Oh- Huh? I looked at him with a frown, 'Gee of course I meant it. Every word. And by your reaction I'm guessing you feel the same?' Okay, when did Bob turn into Doctor fucking Dre? Jeez. I smirked, nodding.
'I really do. I love him, so much you know, and I know it's not been long, but he's just so fucking amazing,' and tight. 'And so good to me,' and big... 'And just... Everything you know, have you ever had that feeling when you've found someone you just click with, and know it's going to turn out okay with them? Know it's going to last?' He nodded and smiled, knowing just what I was going to say next. 'I think I've found mine...' When I uttered those words, it was soon impossible to wipe the huge cheesy grin off my face, but I didn’t care. I’d found mine. My prince, my knight in shining armour. The one I wanted to be with for... Well, I always say I want a relationship to last as long as it lasts, and I sure hope this one lasts a fuck of a long time. As Bob started talking again, I smiled, my grin harshly faltering when I noticed something. ‘Bob hold on a minute, sorry.’ He stopped, looking confused at me. ‘Listen.’ The pair of us kept quiet, hearing...
‘It’s silent upstairs...’ Bob said in the mere ghost of a whisper. I bit my lip. ‘They’ve stopped arguing.’ I put my finger to my lips, tuning in to try and hear the remotest sounds of people talking. There weren’t any. I looked at Bob, concerned, gasping at what I next heard. The front door shut. Shit. I could feel my insides harshly rush to my boots, I thought I was going to vomit there and then. He’s left? My Frankie, gone? But he... He left his guitar... I rested my head in my hands, tears instantly wetting them as I sobbed. I don’t even know his new address, what the fuck am I meant to do now? Bob sat on the bed and wrapped his arms round me, rubbing my back gently. Bob’s a seriously good hugger, he’s like a teddy bear. No joke. I cried into his chest, I can’t fucking believe he’s gone!!! Bob didn’t say anything, only stroked my hair comfortingly, shhing me quietly.
It seemed like ages before my tears finally subsided, yet it could have only been minutes as Bob’s shirt was pretty soaked. I looked at him with red, puffy eyes and bit my lip again. We just sat there in silence, Bob knowing I only needed comfort. I resumed my head back on his chest and breathed deeply, trying my best not to start crying again. Suddenly, my head shot up, and I looked at the door. Bob was also looking so I know he must have heard it too. Footsteps. Coming down to my door. I can still hear Ray and Mikey’s XBOX, so know it’s not either of them. Who the fuck is it then? The footsteps continued, a small knock to my door following.
‘Er... Who is it?’
Tweedle Fee’s POV
The ‘talk’ with mom and Steve seemed to last forever. For a long time there was only silence, the two of them staring at me as I cried quietly in the chair opposite the sofa they sat on, wishing Gee was with me. I kept waiting for them to say something, and they seemed to be waiting for me to say something, but I had no intention of opening my mouth, so eventually, Steve gave in.
“Explain.” He demanded and I looked at him through red eyes.
“Explain what?” I sniffled and both their faces filled with rage.
“Explain why you lied to us about your friend, and why I saw you…. You… kissing that boy!” Steve cried, jabbing a finger at the door that led to Gee’s room, the word kissing being spat out of his mouth as if it tasted foul. I didn’t know how this whole thing was gonna turn out, but I did know I just had to be honest. I had nothing to be ashamed of… okay… maybe the lieing was bad… but I’m coming clean now.
“W – well… I lied because I wanted to come see Gee…” I whimpered and my mom leaned forward, resting a hand on Steve’s shoulder as if to calm him.
“And who’s Gee?” She asked softly and I inclined my head towards the cellar door.
“Erm… Mikeys brother… Gerard… my… The boy I was kissing…” I mumbled and Steve opened his mouth, looking like he was about to shout something but my mother cut across him.
“But you weren’t really kissing him, were you Frankie? I told Steve he must have just miss-seen.” Mom said quietly, her eyes begging as she looked at me. I knew exactly what she wanted me to say… what they both wanted me to say…
“Yeah… that’s right. I mean, it was dark out side, and raining – I must have just… imagined it. Right Frank?” Steve asked, his tone soft yet some how menacing. But I wasn’t going to lie to them, if I had any chance of being allowed to stay here then I had to be honest.
“No Steve. You weren’t imagining it.” I said softly, my voice stronger than I expected through my tears. “We were kissing.” I said bluntly and Steve and mom shared a glance, a look of horror yet not surprise flitted across their faces, disappearing quickly as they turned back to look at me.
Steve sat back in the sofa, pinching the bridge of his nose as if trying to stem a nose bleed, muttering to himself. I knew it was a technique he used to ‘ward off stress’ – yeah… the guys an idiot. Mom stayed leaning forward, her hands clasped tightly on her knees, her eyes wide but expression set.
“S – So… this boy… Gerard… you two are… close?” She stuttered and I looked at her with a stubborn expression.
“Yeah we are. He’s my boyfriend.” I said firmly and Steve groaned, rubbing his temples now. Mom paled a little more and there was small pause before she continued.
“Y – Your boyfriend? And… is he… your first boyfriend?” She asked softly and I raised an eyebrow, a little confused by the question. I didn’t see why she needed to know, but I answered anyway, hesitating before I did so.
“Yeah.” Technically true – I mean, I never went out with any of those other guys… Wow…. Yeah, Gee is my first boyfriend…
This answer seemed to calm my mom slightly and she breathed a sigh of relief, leaning back and looking at me curiously. I blushed under her gaze, Steve continuing to ‘de-stress’.
“How long have you been going out?” Mom asked eventually, and I shrugged.
“Erm… about… two days before we moved.” Was that even lye? I wasn’t sure, my mind was frazzling under the pressure. All I wanted to do was run down into Gee’s room and lie in his arms.
This too, seemed to make my mom happier, and a small smile graced her features. Steve calmed a little as well, although whether from the answer or the ‘de-stress techniques’ I wasn’t sure.
“Not long then.” Mom pointed out and I raised my eyebrows, folding my arms across my chest.
“I guess not…” I mumbled, and she nodded, satisfied.
“Okay Frankie… I can understand that you were upset about the move, and I can forgive you for lieing to us like you did. But… since we live so far from here now, and since you and this erm… Gerard, haven’t been dating very long. Maybe you guys should…” She waved her hands, searching for the words before continuing. “Take a break.” She decided with a nod. Instantly, I began to shake my head. No way. There was no way.
“Just hear me out Frank.” Mom begged and I clenched my teeth. I didn’t want to hear her out. I didn’t care what she had to say – I wanted to stay with Gee. I was prepared to throw a total toddler tantrum if I needed to.
“You two haven’t been dating long, and since you won’t be able to see each other a lot anyway, just call it off for a while. Maybe see if you can find anyone in our area… a nice girl or something…” Mom said with a smile and I grimaced. Not this again.
“Why wouldn’t we be able to see each other a lot?” I demanded and Steve gave a hollow laugh.
“Oh come on Frankie, we’re not gonna drive you down here every free moment we have.” He snorted and I glared at him.
“Yeah, thanks Steve. But Gerard has a car, he could drive up to meet me.” Or I could stay here…
Steve scoffed and leaned forward to glare at me.
“What makes you think he’d want to? I know your… boyfriends…” Again, the word was spat at as if it insulted his tongue. “But even so, like your mom says – you haven’t been dating long, and he’ll soon get bored of having to drive up to meet you, or you’ll get bored of him. That’s what happens with kids your age, why don’t you meet someone in our area like your mother suggests.” He said in a tone that seemed to scream ‘obey me for I am your superior’. I glared at him and shook my head again.
“He won’t get bored of me and I won’t get bored of him. I know we haven’t been dating long but we really click, ya’ know. And I don’t want to meet someone in our area, no one will be as good as Gee, he’s who I want and so he’s who I’m with. We are not ‘taking a break’ just because you two want me to get with some girl.” I snapped, giving them an icy glare. Steve’s face went red with anger and my mom sat forward hastily.
“But Frankie you’ve never had a girlfriend! You might like one, we could find you a nice girl – just try, for me, please.” She begged, doing the whole guilt trip thing mothers are so good at. But I was so annoyed at them both that this time – it didn’t work.
“Why should I try? I’m happy with Gerard.” I snarled and Steve glared at me.
“We’re just trying to help you Frank. You’ve never had a girlfriend, you never know if you’ll like it. We just think it’ll be best for you if you… share your first experiences in erm… life, with a girl your age. And then if you still feel the need to go with this Gerard then so be it.” He snapped and I clenched my fists. They were so unbelievable.
“If you’re referring to sex Steve then I think I can tell for myself whether I’ll like something or not, it’s a little thing called instinct, and excuse me if the idea of tits and PMS isn’t my idea of fun.” I snapped back and my mom gasped a little, Steve jumping to his feet.
“Well NORMAL boys your age can’t wait to lose their virginity –”
“Yeah! And I couldn’t wait either – and trust me Steve – I enjoyed losing it just as much as the next person!” I cried before he could continue, jumping to my own feet. Mom went paler than a ghost and even Steve looked speechless. Somewhere in the back of my mind I realised all I was doing was making things a hell of a lot worse for myself, but in my anger I was going a little crazy.
“Excuse me?” Steve snarled and I clenched my fists.
“You heard me.”
“Are you trying to tell me that boy has… has…” Steve didn’t seem to be able to finish his sentence, and I knew if he thought Gee had been the one to ‘soil my innocence’ then he’d march down those stairs and break his nose.
“If you want to know if it was him who took my virginity then no. It wasn’t.” I said quickly and Steve glared at me.
“Then who the bloody hell did!” He shouted, my mom still looking horrified.
“None of your business!” I shouted back. Okay… so I couldn’t really remember the guys name… but ya’ know… I wasn’t going to tell them that, it might actually kill them.
“I am your stepfather!” Steve roared and I glared up at him.
“Good for you ass hole! What do you want, a medal? Cos’ if you were any kind of a step dad – and if she was any kind of mom – then you’d accept the fact that I don’t want to get with a girl – I’m with Gerard, and I intent to be for a long time!” I shouted.
And that’s when all hell broke loose.
There was a lot of shouting and hands waving, when mom got over her shock she joined in too. It didn’t matter what I said to them, they were convinced that if I just tried to get with a girl, then I’d realise I wasn’t into men. I knew it was because they wanted me to be the perfect little Catholic son. And plus, I was an only child, and my mom wanted grand kids. But I wasn’t giving up, I wasn’t leaving here unless it was with the promise that I could come back.
I don’t know how long we shouted for… it felt like forever. But eventually, they realised they weren’t changing my mind, and they gave in. Steve told me if I was going to be ‘such a little brat’ then I could stay here for all he cared, before storming out of the house. My mom gave me a sad look, tears on her cheeks, and said I’d always be her son. She promised to talk to Steve and they’d come collect me at another day. I told her not to bother.
She still kissed me cheek before she left though. I felt huge guilt, knowing I had hurt my mom. I couldn’t care less about fuck face Steve, but my mom was mom, I didn’t want to upset her. Still… I kept a brave face until I heard the front door slam and then I sank down onto my knees, burying my face into my hands and releasing the sobs I had been keeping in the whole time they were here.
I had no reason to be ashamed… I knew that, and I stood by it. But I didn’t want Gee to see me this upset. He’d only feel bad, and tell me to go if I wanted to. But I didn’t want to, I wanted to stay here, with him, forever… but I knew I couldn’t do that… But I would stay for as long as I was welcome.
Eventually, I got to my feet and wiped the last of my tears away. I wanted Gee. I wanted to hold him and be held by him and let him make everything just go away. So I hurried to his door and wandered down the steps, knocking softly on the second door, unsure as to whether he was asleep or not… after all, it had gotten pretty late.
“Who is it?” He called and I bit my lip. He sounded upset.
“It’s me… Frankie.” I called back, waiting to be told it was okay to enter. But before I knew it the door was open and I was in his arms, his face buried into my shoulder as he whimpered.
“Frankie! Oh Frankie Frankie Frankie… I thought you’d gone…” He cried and I giggled a little, wrapping my arms as equally tight around him and hiding my face in his hair.
“No Gee… I’m still here. Lucky you.” I said sarcastically and he pulled back, smiling at me through watery eyes.
“Yeah, lucky me. I’d be lost without you.” He whispered and I blushed a little, feeling my own tears returning. I didn’t want to cry, but when he kissed me, sweet and soft, I couldn’t keep them back and I cried softly as we kissed. I had been so afraid that I wouldn’t be able to stay, and the relief hit me like a wrecking ball.
He pulled back to see my tears and smiled softly, wiping them away.
“Frankie wha –”
“I love you.” I said without thinking, and I felt him tense.
Fuck, what the hell is going on up there?! It's been hours. Mikey's taken Ray up to his room to play XBOX or some crap (anything to get him away from me,) and Bob and I are down here in mine. I'm so
worried, he's taking ages. All he said was he'd 'be a few minutes, tops.' It's half eleven now, he's been THREE HOURS. Bob keeps saying it'll be okay, that he'll come down soon, but it's getting to a point where I could smack him if he says that again.
I continued drumming my fingers on the desk, flipping through the pages of my sketch book in desperate hope to distract myself from the voices upstairs. I couldn't hear what was being said, but whatever it was, it did not sound good. I moved my drumming hand to my hair, running it through the black strands over and over again. I picked up a pencil with my other hand and started tapping that on the table, scowling at Bob when he snatched it off me.
'What was that for?' I asked coldly, moving both hands to my hair and looking down at my desk.
'You need to relax, dude, what's your deal?'
'My deal,' I quoted, 'is that my boyfriends mom and dad have just randomly appeared at my house with looks both to kill, demanded they come in and 'talk things over,' when we all know that means drag his son two fucking hours back home to his house when he knows, I know, and just about everyone on this motherfucking planet knows that Frank doesn't want to go!' I felt a few hot tears rolling down my cheeks and put my head on the desk, wrapping my arms round myself, my hands still embedded in my hair. 'He doesn't want to go, does he? I mean, what if this is planned?' I sat up, looking at Bob. 'What if he called that Steve dude to come get him because he was really getting sick of me? And what if this is all a hoax and they're really playing some tape recorded argument up there and-' I was harshly knocked out of my seat by Bob whacking me hard in the face.
'Gerard calm the fuck down.' I sat up, my hand on my cheek and looked at him. 'You're getting fucking paranoid.'
'But I-'
'No, you listen.' He pulled me up and sat me down on the bed, looking me straight in the eye. It was like I was instantly silenced. Woah, I didn't know Bob was this... Actually never mind that.
No no, finish that sentence.
I was going to say forceful.
You were going to say big.
I was not! That’s disgusting you sicko-
Look.
...Woah. I gulped, looking back up at him and blushing. I hate you. Bob put his hands on my shoulders and sat down on my chair, moving closer so he could talk to me.
'Can't you see how fucking in love Frank is with you? You're his whole entire world, Gee. There's no way he's leaving this place without putting up a fight, that’s why he's been up there for ages. He
doesn't want to leave you, man, he loves the fucking crap out of you.' I looked sceptically at him, much as I’d fucking love to believe that, it doesn’t explain his freak out when I told him a couple days ago. ‘Don't even try that look, Way, it's the truth. Why do you think he nearly had a bloody heart attack when he saw Steve in his car when we pulled in? He had a major episode. And you think all that’s a hoax? The way he could hardly speak when you were carrying him back to the house? When those tears started rolling down his face the very minute his mom said they ‘needed to talk’?' I felt a harsh pang of guilt stab me in the chest and shook my head a little solemnly. 'No. And I saw the way he was with you at bowling, he was all over you. And in the car.' Yeah... Wait, he was watching?! 'Don't think I don't notice stuff, Gee, you two are like a married couple, minus the rings. I'm serious, I've not seen a couple click so easily and quickly as you two do. So unless you're some sort of insane psychopath who can't see past the end of his nose that his boyfriend is completely and totally besotted with him, then no, Gerard, Frank is not sick of you, and that’s an understatement.' I... Wow. I looked astonished at him as he sat back in the chair looking smug. I was speechless, I mean, who comes out with that kind of stuff just on a whim?! Of all people, I never thought Bob would be the one to prove me wrong. And that’s meant in the nicest possible way. I closed my slightly open mouth and he laughed, folding his arms. 'For once, Gerard Arthur Way is silenced by the amazing, fabulous-'
'Be quiet, fool.' I said with a smirk, whacking him lightly round the head. 'I.. I'm just not too sure what to say, did you mean all that?'
'Nope.' Oh- Huh? I looked at him with a frown, 'Gee of course I meant it. Every word. And by your reaction I'm guessing you feel the same?' Okay, when did Bob turn into Doctor fucking Dre? Jeez. I smirked, nodding.
'I really do. I love him, so much you know, and I know it's not been long, but he's just so fucking amazing,' and tight. 'And so good to me,' and big... 'And just... Everything you know, have you ever had that feeling when you've found someone you just click with, and know it's going to turn out okay with them? Know it's going to last?' He nodded and smiled, knowing just what I was going to say next. 'I think I've found mine...' When I uttered those words, it was soon impossible to wipe the huge cheesy grin off my face, but I didn’t care. I’d found mine. My prince, my knight in shining armour. The one I wanted to be with for... Well, I always say I want a relationship to last as long as it lasts, and I sure hope this one lasts a fuck of a long time. As Bob started talking again, I smiled, my grin harshly faltering when I noticed something. ‘Bob hold on a minute, sorry.’ He stopped, looking confused at me. ‘Listen.’ The pair of us kept quiet, hearing...
‘It’s silent upstairs...’ Bob said in the mere ghost of a whisper. I bit my lip. ‘They’ve stopped arguing.’ I put my finger to my lips, tuning in to try and hear the remotest sounds of people talking. There weren’t any. I looked at Bob, concerned, gasping at what I next heard. The front door shut. Shit. I could feel my insides harshly rush to my boots, I thought I was going to vomit there and then. He’s left? My Frankie, gone? But he... He left his guitar... I rested my head in my hands, tears instantly wetting them as I sobbed. I don’t even know his new address, what the fuck am I meant to do now? Bob sat on the bed and wrapped his arms round me, rubbing my back gently. Bob’s a seriously good hugger, he’s like a teddy bear. No joke. I cried into his chest, I can’t fucking believe he’s gone!!! Bob didn’t say anything, only stroked my hair comfortingly, shhing me quietly.
It seemed like ages before my tears finally subsided, yet it could have only been minutes as Bob’s shirt was pretty soaked. I looked at him with red, puffy eyes and bit my lip again. We just sat there in silence, Bob knowing I only needed comfort. I resumed my head back on his chest and breathed deeply, trying my best not to start crying again. Suddenly, my head shot up, and I looked at the door. Bob was also looking so I know he must have heard it too. Footsteps. Coming down to my door. I can still hear Ray and Mikey’s XBOX, so know it’s not either of them. Who the fuck is it then? The footsteps continued, a small knock to my door following.
‘Er... Who is it?’
Tweedle Fee’s POV
The ‘talk’ with mom and Steve seemed to last forever. For a long time there was only silence, the two of them staring at me as I cried quietly in the chair opposite the sofa they sat on, wishing Gee was with me. I kept waiting for them to say something, and they seemed to be waiting for me to say something, but I had no intention of opening my mouth, so eventually, Steve gave in.
“Explain.” He demanded and I looked at him through red eyes.
“Explain what?” I sniffled and both their faces filled with rage.
“Explain why you lied to us about your friend, and why I saw you…. You… kissing that boy!” Steve cried, jabbing a finger at the door that led to Gee’s room, the word kissing being spat out of his mouth as if it tasted foul. I didn’t know how this whole thing was gonna turn out, but I did know I just had to be honest. I had nothing to be ashamed of… okay… maybe the lieing was bad… but I’m coming clean now.
“W – well… I lied because I wanted to come see Gee…” I whimpered and my mom leaned forward, resting a hand on Steve’s shoulder as if to calm him.
“And who’s Gee?” She asked softly and I inclined my head towards the cellar door.
“Erm… Mikeys brother… Gerard… my… The boy I was kissing…” I mumbled and Steve opened his mouth, looking like he was about to shout something but my mother cut across him.
“But you weren’t really kissing him, were you Frankie? I told Steve he must have just miss-seen.” Mom said quietly, her eyes begging as she looked at me. I knew exactly what she wanted me to say… what they both wanted me to say…
“Yeah… that’s right. I mean, it was dark out side, and raining – I must have just… imagined it. Right Frank?” Steve asked, his tone soft yet some how menacing. But I wasn’t going to lie to them, if I had any chance of being allowed to stay here then I had to be honest.
“No Steve. You weren’t imagining it.” I said softly, my voice stronger than I expected through my tears. “We were kissing.” I said bluntly and Steve and mom shared a glance, a look of horror yet not surprise flitted across their faces, disappearing quickly as they turned back to look at me.
Steve sat back in the sofa, pinching the bridge of his nose as if trying to stem a nose bleed, muttering to himself. I knew it was a technique he used to ‘ward off stress’ – yeah… the guys an idiot. Mom stayed leaning forward, her hands clasped tightly on her knees, her eyes wide but expression set.
“S – So… this boy… Gerard… you two are… close?” She stuttered and I looked at her with a stubborn expression.
“Yeah we are. He’s my boyfriend.” I said firmly and Steve groaned, rubbing his temples now. Mom paled a little more and there was small pause before she continued.
“Y – Your boyfriend? And… is he… your first boyfriend?” She asked softly and I raised an eyebrow, a little confused by the question. I didn’t see why she needed to know, but I answered anyway, hesitating before I did so.
“Yeah.” Technically true – I mean, I never went out with any of those other guys… Wow…. Yeah, Gee is my first boyfriend…
This answer seemed to calm my mom slightly and she breathed a sigh of relief, leaning back and looking at me curiously. I blushed under her gaze, Steve continuing to ‘de-stress’.
“How long have you been going out?” Mom asked eventually, and I shrugged.
“Erm… about… two days before we moved.” Was that even lye? I wasn’t sure, my mind was frazzling under the pressure. All I wanted to do was run down into Gee’s room and lie in his arms.
This too, seemed to make my mom happier, and a small smile graced her features. Steve calmed a little as well, although whether from the answer or the ‘de-stress techniques’ I wasn’t sure.
“Not long then.” Mom pointed out and I raised my eyebrows, folding my arms across my chest.
“I guess not…” I mumbled, and she nodded, satisfied.
“Okay Frankie… I can understand that you were upset about the move, and I can forgive you for lieing to us like you did. But… since we live so far from here now, and since you and this erm… Gerard, haven’t been dating very long. Maybe you guys should…” She waved her hands, searching for the words before continuing. “Take a break.” She decided with a nod. Instantly, I began to shake my head. No way. There was no way.
“Just hear me out Frank.” Mom begged and I clenched my teeth. I didn’t want to hear her out. I didn’t care what she had to say – I wanted to stay with Gee. I was prepared to throw a total toddler tantrum if I needed to.
“You two haven’t been dating long, and since you won’t be able to see each other a lot anyway, just call it off for a while. Maybe see if you can find anyone in our area… a nice girl or something…” Mom said with a smile and I grimaced. Not this again.
“Why wouldn’t we be able to see each other a lot?” I demanded and Steve gave a hollow laugh.
“Oh come on Frankie, we’re not gonna drive you down here every free moment we have.” He snorted and I glared at him.
“Yeah, thanks Steve. But Gerard has a car, he could drive up to meet me.” Or I could stay here…
Steve scoffed and leaned forward to glare at me.
“What makes you think he’d want to? I know your… boyfriends…” Again, the word was spat at as if it insulted his tongue. “But even so, like your mom says – you haven’t been dating long, and he’ll soon get bored of having to drive up to meet you, or you’ll get bored of him. That’s what happens with kids your age, why don’t you meet someone in our area like your mother suggests.” He said in a tone that seemed to scream ‘obey me for I am your superior’. I glared at him and shook my head again.
“He won’t get bored of me and I won’t get bored of him. I know we haven’t been dating long but we really click, ya’ know. And I don’t want to meet someone in our area, no one will be as good as Gee, he’s who I want and so he’s who I’m with. We are not ‘taking a break’ just because you two want me to get with some girl.” I snapped, giving them an icy glare. Steve’s face went red with anger and my mom sat forward hastily.
“But Frankie you’ve never had a girlfriend! You might like one, we could find you a nice girl – just try, for me, please.” She begged, doing the whole guilt trip thing mothers are so good at. But I was so annoyed at them both that this time – it didn’t work.
“Why should I try? I’m happy with Gerard.” I snarled and Steve glared at me.
“We’re just trying to help you Frank. You’ve never had a girlfriend, you never know if you’ll like it. We just think it’ll be best for you if you… share your first experiences in erm… life, with a girl your age. And then if you still feel the need to go with this Gerard then so be it.” He snapped and I clenched my fists. They were so unbelievable.
“If you’re referring to sex Steve then I think I can tell for myself whether I’ll like something or not, it’s a little thing called instinct, and excuse me if the idea of tits and PMS isn’t my idea of fun.” I snapped back and my mom gasped a little, Steve jumping to his feet.
“Well NORMAL boys your age can’t wait to lose their virginity –”
“Yeah! And I couldn’t wait either – and trust me Steve – I enjoyed losing it just as much as the next person!” I cried before he could continue, jumping to my own feet. Mom went paler than a ghost and even Steve looked speechless. Somewhere in the back of my mind I realised all I was doing was making things a hell of a lot worse for myself, but in my anger I was going a little crazy.
“Excuse me?” Steve snarled and I clenched my fists.
“You heard me.”
“Are you trying to tell me that boy has… has…” Steve didn’t seem to be able to finish his sentence, and I knew if he thought Gee had been the one to ‘soil my innocence’ then he’d march down those stairs and break his nose.
“If you want to know if it was him who took my virginity then no. It wasn’t.” I said quickly and Steve glared at me.
“Then who the bloody hell did!” He shouted, my mom still looking horrified.
“None of your business!” I shouted back. Okay… so I couldn’t really remember the guys name… but ya’ know… I wasn’t going to tell them that, it might actually kill them.
“I am your stepfather!” Steve roared and I glared up at him.
“Good for you ass hole! What do you want, a medal? Cos’ if you were any kind of a step dad – and if she was any kind of mom – then you’d accept the fact that I don’t want to get with a girl – I’m with Gerard, and I intent to be for a long time!” I shouted.
And that’s when all hell broke loose.
There was a lot of shouting and hands waving, when mom got over her shock she joined in too. It didn’t matter what I said to them, they were convinced that if I just tried to get with a girl, then I’d realise I wasn’t into men. I knew it was because they wanted me to be the perfect little Catholic son. And plus, I was an only child, and my mom wanted grand kids. But I wasn’t giving up, I wasn’t leaving here unless it was with the promise that I could come back.
I don’t know how long we shouted for… it felt like forever. But eventually, they realised they weren’t changing my mind, and they gave in. Steve told me if I was going to be ‘such a little brat’ then I could stay here for all he cared, before storming out of the house. My mom gave me a sad look, tears on her cheeks, and said I’d always be her son. She promised to talk to Steve and they’d come collect me at another day. I told her not to bother.
She still kissed me cheek before she left though. I felt huge guilt, knowing I had hurt my mom. I couldn’t care less about fuck face Steve, but my mom was mom, I didn’t want to upset her. Still… I kept a brave face until I heard the front door slam and then I sank down onto my knees, burying my face into my hands and releasing the sobs I had been keeping in the whole time they were here.
I had no reason to be ashamed… I knew that, and I stood by it. But I didn’t want Gee to see me this upset. He’d only feel bad, and tell me to go if I wanted to. But I didn’t want to, I wanted to stay here, with him, forever… but I knew I couldn’t do that… But I would stay for as long as I was welcome.
Eventually, I got to my feet and wiped the last of my tears away. I wanted Gee. I wanted to hold him and be held by him and let him make everything just go away. So I hurried to his door and wandered down the steps, knocking softly on the second door, unsure as to whether he was asleep or not… after all, it had gotten pretty late.
“Who is it?” He called and I bit my lip. He sounded upset.
“It’s me… Frankie.” I called back, waiting to be told it was okay to enter. But before I knew it the door was open and I was in his arms, his face buried into my shoulder as he whimpered.
“Frankie! Oh Frankie Frankie Frankie… I thought you’d gone…” He cried and I giggled a little, wrapping my arms as equally tight around him and hiding my face in his hair.
“No Gee… I’m still here. Lucky you.” I said sarcastically and he pulled back, smiling at me through watery eyes.
“Yeah, lucky me. I’d be lost without you.” He whispered and I blushed a little, feeling my own tears returning. I didn’t want to cry, but when he kissed me, sweet and soft, I couldn’t keep them back and I cried softly as we kissed. I had been so afraid that I wouldn’t be able to stay, and the relief hit me like a wrecking ball.
He pulled back to see my tears and smiled softly, wiping them away.
“Frankie wha –”
“I love you.” I said without thinking, and I felt him tense.
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