Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > This blood that runs down your face, such a delicate disgrace.
I’m making it perfectly clear here that this chapter, and other chapters to come are rather graphic, and maybe disturbing to most. Please take this into stride and read only if you know you can handle it. It was my intention to make it this gory, but hopefully you’ll enjoy.
Xander crept unto the lawn of Ray’s house. Evil written all over his face as he stalked his way up the grass and walked through the backyard gate. He jumped when a dog came running at him barking very loudly, this angered him.
“Shush!” He called and the poor dog whimpered as he scampered away. The moon reflected off the windows of the rather nice Jersey home. Green grass and a garden full of flowers that shifted with the wind.
He easily made his way inside the house, it was like taking a piece of candy from a baby. It looked just like any other home, pictures, plants, television, couches, etc. The staircase twisted as it lead to the rooms upstairs. Excitement bubbling in his stomach as he reached his first destination. He assumed Ray’s room was the last one since stickers covered it. Television could be heard from one room, while a guitar could be heard from the room with the stickers. Xander moistened his lips as he opened the door, meeting the curly haired man who strummed sadly at his guitar. Xander couldn’t help but watch him as he did have grace.
Almost as if he was playing it for a while now. But when leaned closer he sworn he could’ve heard sniffles. He almost laughed at the sight of him with tears running down his face. How it appears so dull all of a sudden. He could’ve killed right then and there. Not a peep would be made, not even the red liquid would fall to the floor. He would be smart about this, and he would take pride in this. Any moment now.
Adrenaline was slowly working its way into his veins as flashbacks slapped at him. The river, the screams, the crunches of arms and legs. If he mad earlier, he was pissed off even more. He smirked as Ray stopped the strumming and wiped his face before putting his guitar in its designated spot. It stood perfectly as it leaned against its confinement. Xander ran a finger over the smooth wood dresser. It shined with glory, just like every thing else in this room. Except one person.
Ray shook off his sullen feeling and took a deep breath to calm his nerves as he tried his hardest to resist his urge to stop the pain. It was only his cure, and nothing else seemed to bring the salvation that this did. It worked wonders, and if for one moment in time he would feel okay, he do it. To take a step out of his shoes from the dark world he lived in. Moments ago glass had shattered. Words were spat each other and the slap to the face could be heard from a mile away. There was no mistaking this place for a happy home, and Ray knew it very well. It was shameful and degrading to feel alone and the company of your own self wasn’t satisfying. If he could hide somewhere far away, even disappearing would be a dream come true. Like he had any dreams, but still.
Figuring there was no point in resisting, Ray headed for his small bathroom that was in the corner of the room, he didn’t even look up as he was face to face with his unforgettable past. He screamed and fell on his butt as he hit the hardwood floor. Xander. In front of him. It. Can’t. Be. Happening.
“Hello Ray.” Xander waved.
“Xander?” He muttered speechless.
“In the flesh.” He smirked.
“You’re not de-, how can you be here? There’s no way.” Xander cocked his head.
“Ray you’re acting shocked. I thought you’d be happy to see me.”
“But you can’t possibly-” He trailed off.
“Oh its possible. I’m here, right now. My heart beats, while my soul sleeps. In your heart, I know the secrets you keep.” He hissed. Ray was practically hyperventilating as Xander walked closer, meeting his frightened eyes. He never felt so bold before.
“It’s a long way back from the river wouldn’t you say?” Ray kept his lips closed. Was he dreaming, or was this real? There was no way. It was completely impossible…unless.
“You thought I died didn’t you?” Ray was afraid to admit the truth, but he couldn’t deny it either.
“Yeah I guess I did, I suppose, but I’m here right now, shouldn’t that count for something?”
“Xander you have to understand-”
“You didn’t mean to kill me.” He smiled.
“I didn’t. We had no idea-”
“You didn’t mean for me to get hurt.”
“Exactly!” Thi-”
“Things just got out of hand?” He smirked as he could read everything.
“Yes.” Ray muttered. Xander leaned into his face.
“Don’t mess with me Ray. You knew just as well as those bastards the rope would fall.”
“I swear I had no idea.”
“You know I almost liked you. You seemed so nice and smart, never hurt a fly. But now I know just how empty you are inside. You thought it could take the pain away.” He reached for Ray’s wrist who had tears in the corner of his eyes.
“Two years now right? Such a rather tragic thing wouldn’t you say? What everyone think if they knew you…” He a ran a finger over the soft wrist like a knife. Ray jerked away shaking his head.
“This isn’t real. You’re not really here.” Xander put a finger to his chin.
“If this wasn’t real, I guess I couldn’t do this.” Ray gasped as gashes appeared. Blood spilling on to the floor seeping into the cracks.
“Stop. Please.” He whispered.
“Do you know how hard it was? Having your whole body stop at corner of the river not being able to move? You’re heart slows, you can’t breathe. You can even feel bugs already eating at your skin from sitting there so long.” Ray cried as bugs dropped from his arms and scattered in every direction. This wasn’t real, he was imagining things.
“Stop! I’m begging you.” He sobbed. Xander giggled.
“Begging. Interesting.” He turned away for a second and Ray exhaled harshly as everything disappeared. His arm was no longer bleeding nor was it seeping out tiny insects.
“What to do, what to do.”
“What do you want from me? I’ll give you anything if you just-”
“Ah! Stop right there Toro. I don’t need excuses, I don’t need pleads. I certainly do need to be bribed. But that’s how you guys work isn‘t it? You all think that bribing is going to get you of out everything, and you won’t have to deal with the consequences, but really nothing ever gets resolved in the after run.” Ray looked down.
“Want to know what the real problem here is with you guys? You never finish what you start.” He cocked his head.
“There’s a lot you can try to take the pain away, but you can never cut it out can you, or maybe you can?”
He stood back as Ray eyes were glazed and walked to the bathroom to retrieve the razor that had been so good to him in the past. A life saver, was this any different? Xander watched amazed as the razor slashed away at the wrists. Blood squirting onto the walls as he continued. No sound was made. It was just like a movie, only better. The skin tearing off in most places as he carried on with the slashing. After a moment, the body swayed and Ray fell down. No breathing. Blood spilled onto the bathroom rug as it became a terrible sight to witness. Sorrow dripping out of the once broken soul. Eyes open but no movement.
“In the end the pain will always be there.” He whispered and walked away not bothered. Leaving the broken, and slashed body alone to meet its demise.
“One down.”
……………
Xander crept unto the lawn of Ray’s house. Evil written all over his face as he stalked his way up the grass and walked through the backyard gate. He jumped when a dog came running at him barking very loudly, this angered him.
“Shush!” He called and the poor dog whimpered as he scampered away. The moon reflected off the windows of the rather nice Jersey home. Green grass and a garden full of flowers that shifted with the wind.
He easily made his way inside the house, it was like taking a piece of candy from a baby. It looked just like any other home, pictures, plants, television, couches, etc. The staircase twisted as it lead to the rooms upstairs. Excitement bubbling in his stomach as he reached his first destination. He assumed Ray’s room was the last one since stickers covered it. Television could be heard from one room, while a guitar could be heard from the room with the stickers. Xander moistened his lips as he opened the door, meeting the curly haired man who strummed sadly at his guitar. Xander couldn’t help but watch him as he did have grace.
Almost as if he was playing it for a while now. But when leaned closer he sworn he could’ve heard sniffles. He almost laughed at the sight of him with tears running down his face. How it appears so dull all of a sudden. He could’ve killed right then and there. Not a peep would be made, not even the red liquid would fall to the floor. He would be smart about this, and he would take pride in this. Any moment now.
Adrenaline was slowly working its way into his veins as flashbacks slapped at him. The river, the screams, the crunches of arms and legs. If he mad earlier, he was pissed off even more. He smirked as Ray stopped the strumming and wiped his face before putting his guitar in its designated spot. It stood perfectly as it leaned against its confinement. Xander ran a finger over the smooth wood dresser. It shined with glory, just like every thing else in this room. Except one person.
Ray shook off his sullen feeling and took a deep breath to calm his nerves as he tried his hardest to resist his urge to stop the pain. It was only his cure, and nothing else seemed to bring the salvation that this did. It worked wonders, and if for one moment in time he would feel okay, he do it. To take a step out of his shoes from the dark world he lived in. Moments ago glass had shattered. Words were spat each other and the slap to the face could be heard from a mile away. There was no mistaking this place for a happy home, and Ray knew it very well. It was shameful and degrading to feel alone and the company of your own self wasn’t satisfying. If he could hide somewhere far away, even disappearing would be a dream come true. Like he had any dreams, but still.
Figuring there was no point in resisting, Ray headed for his small bathroom that was in the corner of the room, he didn’t even look up as he was face to face with his unforgettable past. He screamed and fell on his butt as he hit the hardwood floor. Xander. In front of him. It. Can’t. Be. Happening.
“Hello Ray.” Xander waved.
“Xander?” He muttered speechless.
“In the flesh.” He smirked.
“You’re not de-, how can you be here? There’s no way.” Xander cocked his head.
“Ray you’re acting shocked. I thought you’d be happy to see me.”
“But you can’t possibly-” He trailed off.
“Oh its possible. I’m here, right now. My heart beats, while my soul sleeps. In your heart, I know the secrets you keep.” He hissed. Ray was practically hyperventilating as Xander walked closer, meeting his frightened eyes. He never felt so bold before.
“It’s a long way back from the river wouldn’t you say?” Ray kept his lips closed. Was he dreaming, or was this real? There was no way. It was completely impossible…unless.
“You thought I died didn’t you?” Ray was afraid to admit the truth, but he couldn’t deny it either.
“Yeah I guess I did, I suppose, but I’m here right now, shouldn’t that count for something?”
“Xander you have to understand-”
“You didn’t mean to kill me.” He smiled.
“I didn’t. We had no idea-”
“You didn’t mean for me to get hurt.”
“Exactly!” Thi-”
“Things just got out of hand?” He smirked as he could read everything.
“Yes.” Ray muttered. Xander leaned into his face.
“Don’t mess with me Ray. You knew just as well as those bastards the rope would fall.”
“I swear I had no idea.”
“You know I almost liked you. You seemed so nice and smart, never hurt a fly. But now I know just how empty you are inside. You thought it could take the pain away.” He reached for Ray’s wrist who had tears in the corner of his eyes.
“Two years now right? Such a rather tragic thing wouldn’t you say? What everyone think if they knew you…” He a ran a finger over the soft wrist like a knife. Ray jerked away shaking his head.
“This isn’t real. You’re not really here.” Xander put a finger to his chin.
“If this wasn’t real, I guess I couldn’t do this.” Ray gasped as gashes appeared. Blood spilling on to the floor seeping into the cracks.
“Stop. Please.” He whispered.
“Do you know how hard it was? Having your whole body stop at corner of the river not being able to move? You’re heart slows, you can’t breathe. You can even feel bugs already eating at your skin from sitting there so long.” Ray cried as bugs dropped from his arms and scattered in every direction. This wasn’t real, he was imagining things.
“Stop! I’m begging you.” He sobbed. Xander giggled.
“Begging. Interesting.” He turned away for a second and Ray exhaled harshly as everything disappeared. His arm was no longer bleeding nor was it seeping out tiny insects.
“What to do, what to do.”
“What do you want from me? I’ll give you anything if you just-”
“Ah! Stop right there Toro. I don’t need excuses, I don’t need pleads. I certainly do need to be bribed. But that’s how you guys work isn‘t it? You all think that bribing is going to get you of out everything, and you won’t have to deal with the consequences, but really nothing ever gets resolved in the after run.” Ray looked down.
“Want to know what the real problem here is with you guys? You never finish what you start.” He cocked his head.
“There’s a lot you can try to take the pain away, but you can never cut it out can you, or maybe you can?”
He stood back as Ray eyes were glazed and walked to the bathroom to retrieve the razor that had been so good to him in the past. A life saver, was this any different? Xander watched amazed as the razor slashed away at the wrists. Blood squirting onto the walls as he continued. No sound was made. It was just like a movie, only better. The skin tearing off in most places as he carried on with the slashing. After a moment, the body swayed and Ray fell down. No breathing. Blood spilled onto the bathroom rug as it became a terrible sight to witness. Sorrow dripping out of the once broken soul. Eyes open but no movement.
“In the end the pain will always be there.” He whispered and walked away not bothered. Leaving the broken, and slashed body alone to meet its demise.
“One down.”
……………
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