Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Dark Times Call for Dark Measures
Dark Times Call for Dark Measures
3 reviewsOk so this gose with my Just because your my sister doesn't mean I have to like you idea. It's the same idea only she's Pansy's sister. Lilith has been away in France ever since her first year at H...
-1Illiterate
Reviews
Dark Times Call for Dark Measures
(#) Saicha6744 2010-11-08
Sweetie, use paragraphs. This chapter read difficult due to the lack of paragraphs. Use it especially when characters talk to make the dialoge easy to follow.
(p.s. Baited breath not battered breath)Dark Times Call for Dark Measures
(#) Why_Not 2010-11-24
Like what people have already said, you do need proper formatting. It's not only a mistake to put all the story in one paragraph, but it's difficult to read or even skim through. It makes the story seem more like a textbook - too difficult to read to bother caring about the Civil War/Chomosome 241/Gobbledy-gook.
Otherwise, pay very close attention to your character - it seems like she's not really planned out as carefully as she might have been. Otherwise, just edit it and it could become something really great. :) Never stop writing, and never stop trying to get better at it.Dark Times Call for Dark Measures
(#) LittleMissNovella 2011-03-04
You could work on the paragraph format in order to make the story more reader friendly :D
But I love the dialogue :D
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