Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > A Heart On The Mend

14. Speechless

by Firith 0 reviews

Category: Panic! At The Disco - Rating: R - Genres: Angst,Drama,Romance - Published: 2009-08-29 - Updated: 2009-08-29 - 905 words - Complete

How long had it been? 2 weeks? 3 weeks? Sort of… and it still felt like it had happened the day before. At least for Faith. She thought after a few days she’d be fine and after a few weeks things could possibly be getting better. But that wasn’t the case. It still hurt that Ryan ignored her, that they weren’t talking to each other, except when it was necessary. Cause Ryan was still the only reason why Wentz assigned laparoscopies to Faith and, as bad it was, she wasn’t gonna let this interfere with her job.

Faith had one hell of a headache that morning. Migraine. She hadn’t had a migraine in years, but when her hand and the left side of her face fell numb and the black spots danced in front of her eyes, she recognized the typical aura symptoms and knew what was coming. She was in the OR when this happened, operating with Ryan himself.

“Fuck.” She muttered, flexing her hand trying to get some feeling back on it. Ryan looked at her questioningly. Faith didn’t say anything and focused in wrapping this up as fast as she could.

Once they did, she trudged to the ER to retrieve some meds and asked Frankie to inject them in the OR lounge.

“You sure you’re okay?” Frankie said as he pushed the analgesic into her vein.

“It’s just a migraine, Frank, I ain’t dying.” Faith said at the same time Ryan got in and heard her. Frankie looked at them both and decided he had to leave the room.

“I’ll take these.” Frank said, taking the needle and the empty vials, getting out quickly. Faith looked at her poked arm and anywhere but at Ryan really, but she couldn’t stop her body from tensing up. It was the first time they were alone since it happened.

“You okay?” Ryan asked.

“Like I told Frank, it’s just a migraine.” Faith said while looking at the floor. Ryan nodded, even if she couldn’t see him. Then she stood up slowly, heading for the door, but when she tried to open it, she noticed Ryan’s hand holding it closed.

Faith turned around to find Ryan barely a few inches away from her and this time she couldn’t avoid looking straight into his eyes. It might have made her heart skip a beat too.

“What--?” She started, but never finished, as Ryan’s lips interrupted her. A hard and painful kiss that trapped Faith against the door. Her mind didn’t react, but her body did, her hands resting on Ryan’s chest, shaking and too scared to move elsewhere. Ryan’s arms crept around her waist and she felt his hand fist the hem off her shirt, which he did to stop his hands from going under the shirt.

Why had Ryan done this? He couldn’t tell exactly why. It probably included missing her and wanting her back, wanting to feel her close. He acted on an impulse, as if the feeling was stronger than him. But also, hurt was stronger than everything else, and that’s what made him pull away and step back.

“We can’t--” Ryan started, shaking his head.

“I can.” Faith interrupted him. “You’re the one with the problem, not me.” Ryan looked at her, she was right. “You still want me to apologize for something that I’m not sorry for.” Faith leaned on the door and crossed her arms on her chest, trying to keep Ryan’s warmth with her. “Great move though.” She said with a dry chuckle.


“It hurt. Especially cause you haven’t talked to me in over two weeks.”

Ryan looked at her blankly. So she thought everything he did and didn’t do was only to hurt her? Didn’t she realize he was hurting himself in the process?

“Go home, Ash.” He said. “Get some rest.”

“We still have one more surgery left.” Faith said, unconsciously rubbing her forehead.

“I know, but I also know what your migraines are like. You should go home and get some sleep.” Ryan was the one avoiding looking at her now. “I’ll call upstairs to tell them know…”

Faith looked at him and nodded, a think silence falling between them. “Why though?” She whispered, looking at the floor. “Why did you-” She stopped.

Ryan swallowed hard. “Doesn’t matter, I shouldn’t have.” He said plainly, walking to the door, which Faith was still leaning on.

“Right…” She said before hoisting herself off the door.

Ryan walked out and back to the OR, Faith walking 5 feet behind him. He shouldn’t have done that; he should’ve stopped himself before doing it. It was stupid and pointless and a complete waste of time. But he couldn’t stop. No matter how much he tried to deny it and go against it, truth was that he needed her back… truth was that they both needed each other back, but pride and hurt would never let them admit it.

“Um… Dr. Ashley? You phone was ringing.” William said quietly and handed her the iPhone.

Ryan picked up the patient’s chart and told the nurse to call upstairs to suspend the last surgery as Faith flipped through the device and dialed the missing call number.


Ryan dropped the chart.
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