Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Brother, Please Come Home To Me.
So last night, I didn’t ask them. Why you ask? Well, I just couldn’t find the courage. I’m chicken shit, I know. I bit my lip as I combed through my hair. It was getting shaggy, so it must mean I’m due for a haircut. But today…was different. I was going to ask them, and I was going to hear what I wanted. Or at least I hoped I would hear what I wanted. Anxiousness filled every vein in my body. I need coffee more than ever. Like Spongebob needed Patrick.
I walked downstairs of my rather small house with heavy feet. Like they were made of iron. I took several deep breaths before entering the kitchen where my parents always were. My mom was making to what I assumed to be bacon and eggs. The aroma of pancakes filled the air as well. I sat down and waited for my father to greet me like he always did. Part of me wanted to back out, but I couldn’t let myself be a puss once again. I’ve put it off long enough.
“Good morning Michael.” My father’s monotone voice finally spoke. He’s not the type of person to express emotion, so have take what you can get from him.
“Good morning dad, mom.” I whispered. My mom turned around with two plates in her hands and graciously set them on the table where my dad immediately began to eat the well made breakfast. In my mind I kept rehearsing my ‘concern for my well being’ like a school lecture or something. I hate that.
I waited and I waited for the perfect time, but it simply did not come. I couldn’t eat that much, a couple nibbles here and there. I had the worst nausea feeling, like when you’re about take off on a really fast roller coaster, you’re body anticipates the exact moment you feel you’re seat move, and all of the sudden you’re going uphill and after that, it’s too late.
Just do it. Get it over with, and don’t be a puss. Is what my inner conscious seemed to scoff at me. I was trying, I really was, but my mouth would not move. My voice would not speak. Then the worst case happened : Word vomit.
“Mom, dad. I need to talk to you about something.” I finally spoke. The ice had officially broke. My parents eyes turned directly at me and I gulped with nervousness.
“Yes, sweetie?” My mom asked sweetly.
“I umm…I’ve been having these feelings. They’ve been lurking me for a while, I’m not sure how to put his, but…”
“Son, are you…gay?” My father intervened. My eyes narrowed and I gasped.
“What? No, that’s not it all, its more complicated than that.”
“Well its just that we’ve noticed you’re umm more…feminine.”
“Excuse me?” I asked astounded. They gave each other a look before my turned back to me.
“Drugs? Hon, if you are on drugs please tell us now before its get out of hand.” My mom added. I rolled my eyes.
“No! Please just listen me.” I replied in a softer tone. They both nodded for me to go on.
“I want to know about my brother…Gerard.” I asked. Everything seemed to grow silent, and I watched practically in slow motion as my father’s fork dropped from his mouth.
“What?” My father said shocked. I repeated myself, but with more confidence.
“I want to know about Gerard.”
“Why do need to know about Gerard?” My mother said hesitantly. I could feel the awkwardness becoming thick in the air.
“I just want to know why he left. I want to know him.” My father seemed to glare, but my mother sat down in a chair at the table.
“Gerard…was complicated. I don’t think you should be wondering about him.”
“But I do! Why was he complicated? Why won’t mention him or why can’t you just tell me?”
“Michael, you’re brother was a danger to society. He was uncontrollable. It was for the best that he left. He was harming himself and other people.” I scoffed.
“What do you mean harming other people? Was he a serial killer for Christ sake?!”
“Michael James! Do not raise your voice at your mother, understand?” My father was fully glaring by now. I took angry deep breath before crossing my arms over my chest.
“I still don’t understand.” I replied in a stubborn tone, I knew it was too good to be true that maybe I would get what I was looking for.
“Gerard…wasn’t quite there, ya know? He had a lot of problems, and he needed help. Just be happy he’s getting it.”
“Getting help where?! Why are you acting like this doesn’t affect you? He’s my brother! At one point he was here in the house with me and now he’s gone! I have no remembrance of him whatsoever!” I shouted.
“You don’t need to remember him! He was a thief and a criminal! He deserves to be wherever he is now! I will not let you associate with him!” My father’s voice roared through the house. My fists were clenched at this point.
“He’s your SON! You’re FIRST born! How can you say that about him, when he’s your own flesh and blood!” Tears threatened to leave my eyes as I put up a fight. I could see my mom was getting distressed, but at this point in time, I didn’t care. And yes it did hurt to admit that.
“He may have been our son, but I did not raise him to be a monster. We couldn’t get through to him and we tried. We tried our hardest, but he didn’t want to change.” Was all my mother could say.
“I still want to see him.” I finally whispered. My father grunted, and mother just sighed.
“Michael listen to me carefully, you will not talk about your brother anymore. He has brought shame to this family, and I’m glad he’s gone, nothing but a drug addict. Wherever he is, I‘m sure its better for him, then destroying this town!” My father hissed with pure venom in his voice. This wasn’t the first time. He was like that with everyone.
“Liar! You’re lying! I hate you! No wonder he left!” I cried and ran upstairs to my room, not realizing I totally spazzed on my parents. I didn’t even think about anything as I grabbed my duffle bag, and filled it with clothes. I’m being irrational, but I couldn’t care less. My shattered hope seemed to drag around me as I continued to put other necessities.
When reality finally hit me, I’m knew I was acting crazy. I’m pissed off. I hurt. I mourn. I hate.
I grabbed my duffle bag and threw it across the room, sending my cup of pencils and my rock made out of fake gold to crash on the carpet, I secretly wished I had wooden floors, just to see my rock possibly break into more shiny pieces. I huffed and for one second grabbed a fist full of hair and tugging on it and releasing it. Since going downstairs was out of the question, I opened my window and used the rather strong vines to climb my day, and eureka, I was on the soft mushy green grass. I darted from my house to the corner of the street getting some good distance away from my parents. The park was first thing that seemed to pop into my mind, it was get away as it was for most children.
The park had green trees that blocked out the sun almost, the bird chirped sweet melodies as they huddled together in a nest. A monarch butterfly even flew by. Hardly anyone was there, and I was grateful for the silence that was around me. Now because I’m a loner like that, I decided to lay down on the small merry go round that stood still as no children dared to play with it. It stood there lonely, and I was happy to give it company. I let my feet dangle off the edge, as I tried to swing it with my feet, barely making it go halfway. I closed my eyes and tried to block out the irritating moments of my parents that happened only five minutes ago.
In my dream world, I was sitting under my tree where the sky was blue, green, and black. I had on black clothing as well, and the creek nearby was the only sound I heard. I was in serenity, until I saw a figure, and I heard a faint voice, but I couldn’t make it out all the way.
“Mikey?” It asked.
“Gerard?” Was my instinct reaction.
“Open your eyes.” I slowly opened them and bit my lip as it was Bob my friend.
“Bob? What are doing here?” I looked directly at his dazzling blue eyes.
“I could ask you the same question, are you okay? And who’s Gerard?” He raised an eyebrow.
“It’s a long story.” I mumbled.
“Well good, cause I haven’t had a damn thing to do all day, and you know I’m a great listener.” He smirked. I nodded in agreement, Bob’s ears were always open for listening. Another reason why I liked having him as a friend.
“Take a breath.” I said before explaining the whole situation and seeing his reaction being compared to Ray’s. They weren’t different at all.
“Oh….shit.” He put in. I nodded.
“Well maybe you should see check an online site? He could be on there, with an address maybe.”
“I know. I was going to, but I don’t know if it would work.”
“If that doesn’t work, you can always check a missing person’s report too.”
“Good idea!” I smiled. He nodded and gave me that ‘I know I’m smart, thank you’ look. I shook my head and laughed.
“What am I going to do Bob? I severely pissed my parents off.”
“Your parents will get over it sometime Mikey. In the mean time, you got to figure out if you’re gonna do this or not.” I nodded.
“I know I want to. So bad. I’ve only talked to Ray about this, and he said the same thing.” He nodded.
“I’m not gonna lie and say its gonna be easy. But take it from someone who had a lifetime of experiences, that its okay to take a chance once in awhile, even if it doesn’t work out. You don’t want to waste your life wishing you had taken that chance and wondering what could’ve happen. Just go for it.” I took his words in stride and they just felt so right. I couldn’t help myself but reach out into the warm teddy bear arms of Bob.
He’s rather a tough guy, but he didn’t push away like I thought he would. He hugged me and it felt nice to hold someone. In a non sexual way. I pulled back with more happiness from the small talk.
“Since you have nothing better to do, do you want to come with me to the library and look for him? I can’t exactly go home right now.”
“Yeah….” He agreed.
“Let’s go.” He stood up from the merry go round. I got up as well, and soon we were walking to the library and headed straight for the computers. I logged on to the internet and looked up Gerard Way on a site where it can give you addresses. So far, there was none. I groaned.
“Don’t be so uptight just yet. Change the mile range to 0 and try it now.” I did what Bob said and there was 5 Gerard Way’s on the site.
“Well hell, how do I know which one’s which?” I looked at Bob who looked confused.
“Check the addresses, and see if one matches.” I looked at the addresses and none of them seemed to be by the New Jersey area. One was in…Australia?
“Do you think he’s in California? None of these have numbers listed. What if none of them are even him?” I asked nervously. There was no number to call, and I sucked at an educated guess. But something told me California.
“I think he’s in California.”
“I think so too.”
“I really hope I’m right. California is a long way from here.” He nodded.
“But is it worth it?”
“Of course.”
“Then don’t worry about. And say a prayer it is.” He smiled. I nodded and wrote all the addresses down just incase. My hour limit was over and me and Bob walked out and to Ray’s house. I need a ‘group meeting’ and it was urgent.
“What is it?” He yawned.
Us three were currently sitting in Bob’s younger sister’s tree house. Its embarrassing I know, but we had no where else to go. Not to mention its pink.
“I think I found him.” I said simply.
“Really?”
I nodded and handed him the paper.
“California?” He said confused.
“I don’t know if its really him, but Gerard Way isn’t that common of a name, it could be.”
“True.” He nodded in a agreement.
“So what now..?” Bob added. I shrugged.
“I want to go. But I need a car. I have money saved up. Didn’t know it would come in handy this much.” I laughed.
“I don’t necessarily want to go alone…if you can come with me?” I said in a hopeful tone. Both of them gave a frown and I just sighed. Every situation is different. Ray’s mom would freak out, and Bob…well I don’t know about Bob.
“This seems way too much, but I think I can go. I can just tell my dad my cousin Garret wants me to visit. He lives in Oregon. I don’t have a life remember.” He shrugged. I nodded and smiled.
“Cool.” I turned to Ray, who twiddled his thumbs.
“Maybe I can convince my mom that there’s a college fair in California. That’s only the way I can think of.”
“So we’re gonna do this? We’re gonna find Gerard?” I smiled. They both nodded.
“I’m so happy to have friends like you…I’m getting all choked up.” I put a fist to my mouth and pretended to cry. They laughed.
“But I think we need one more person to complete this mission.” Bob said grinning. I thought about it, and finally caught on. My other best friend. I clapped my hands. Okay I lied, I have a couple best friends.
“Let’s do this right. To make it official.” Bob grinned like a mad man. We each whispered things back and forth as if we were talking about something top secret. Like Area 51 crap or something. Be ready for me, I'm on the prowl....
I walked downstairs of my rather small house with heavy feet. Like they were made of iron. I took several deep breaths before entering the kitchen where my parents always were. My mom was making to what I assumed to be bacon and eggs. The aroma of pancakes filled the air as well. I sat down and waited for my father to greet me like he always did. Part of me wanted to back out, but I couldn’t let myself be a puss once again. I’ve put it off long enough.
“Good morning Michael.” My father’s monotone voice finally spoke. He’s not the type of person to express emotion, so have take what you can get from him.
“Good morning dad, mom.” I whispered. My mom turned around with two plates in her hands and graciously set them on the table where my dad immediately began to eat the well made breakfast. In my mind I kept rehearsing my ‘concern for my well being’ like a school lecture or something. I hate that.
I waited and I waited for the perfect time, but it simply did not come. I couldn’t eat that much, a couple nibbles here and there. I had the worst nausea feeling, like when you’re about take off on a really fast roller coaster, you’re body anticipates the exact moment you feel you’re seat move, and all of the sudden you’re going uphill and after that, it’s too late.
Just do it. Get it over with, and don’t be a puss. Is what my inner conscious seemed to scoff at me. I was trying, I really was, but my mouth would not move. My voice would not speak. Then the worst case happened : Word vomit.
“Mom, dad. I need to talk to you about something.” I finally spoke. The ice had officially broke. My parents eyes turned directly at me and I gulped with nervousness.
“Yes, sweetie?” My mom asked sweetly.
“I umm…I’ve been having these feelings. They’ve been lurking me for a while, I’m not sure how to put his, but…”
“Son, are you…gay?” My father intervened. My eyes narrowed and I gasped.
“What? No, that’s not it all, its more complicated than that.”
“Well its just that we’ve noticed you’re umm more…feminine.”
“Excuse me?” I asked astounded. They gave each other a look before my turned back to me.
“Drugs? Hon, if you are on drugs please tell us now before its get out of hand.” My mom added. I rolled my eyes.
“No! Please just listen me.” I replied in a softer tone. They both nodded for me to go on.
“I want to know about my brother…Gerard.” I asked. Everything seemed to grow silent, and I watched practically in slow motion as my father’s fork dropped from his mouth.
“What?” My father said shocked. I repeated myself, but with more confidence.
“I want to know about Gerard.”
“Why do need to know about Gerard?” My mother said hesitantly. I could feel the awkwardness becoming thick in the air.
“I just want to know why he left. I want to know him.” My father seemed to glare, but my mother sat down in a chair at the table.
“Gerard…was complicated. I don’t think you should be wondering about him.”
“But I do! Why was he complicated? Why won’t mention him or why can’t you just tell me?”
“Michael, you’re brother was a danger to society. He was uncontrollable. It was for the best that he left. He was harming himself and other people.” I scoffed.
“What do you mean harming other people? Was he a serial killer for Christ sake?!”
“Michael James! Do not raise your voice at your mother, understand?” My father was fully glaring by now. I took angry deep breath before crossing my arms over my chest.
“I still don’t understand.” I replied in a stubborn tone, I knew it was too good to be true that maybe I would get what I was looking for.
“Gerard…wasn’t quite there, ya know? He had a lot of problems, and he needed help. Just be happy he’s getting it.”
“Getting help where?! Why are you acting like this doesn’t affect you? He’s my brother! At one point he was here in the house with me and now he’s gone! I have no remembrance of him whatsoever!” I shouted.
“You don’t need to remember him! He was a thief and a criminal! He deserves to be wherever he is now! I will not let you associate with him!” My father’s voice roared through the house. My fists were clenched at this point.
“He’s your SON! You’re FIRST born! How can you say that about him, when he’s your own flesh and blood!” Tears threatened to leave my eyes as I put up a fight. I could see my mom was getting distressed, but at this point in time, I didn’t care. And yes it did hurt to admit that.
“He may have been our son, but I did not raise him to be a monster. We couldn’t get through to him and we tried. We tried our hardest, but he didn’t want to change.” Was all my mother could say.
“I still want to see him.” I finally whispered. My father grunted, and mother just sighed.
“Michael listen to me carefully, you will not talk about your brother anymore. He has brought shame to this family, and I’m glad he’s gone, nothing but a drug addict. Wherever he is, I‘m sure its better for him, then destroying this town!” My father hissed with pure venom in his voice. This wasn’t the first time. He was like that with everyone.
“Liar! You’re lying! I hate you! No wonder he left!” I cried and ran upstairs to my room, not realizing I totally spazzed on my parents. I didn’t even think about anything as I grabbed my duffle bag, and filled it with clothes. I’m being irrational, but I couldn’t care less. My shattered hope seemed to drag around me as I continued to put other necessities.
When reality finally hit me, I’m knew I was acting crazy. I’m pissed off. I hurt. I mourn. I hate.
I grabbed my duffle bag and threw it across the room, sending my cup of pencils and my rock made out of fake gold to crash on the carpet, I secretly wished I had wooden floors, just to see my rock possibly break into more shiny pieces. I huffed and for one second grabbed a fist full of hair and tugging on it and releasing it. Since going downstairs was out of the question, I opened my window and used the rather strong vines to climb my day, and eureka, I was on the soft mushy green grass. I darted from my house to the corner of the street getting some good distance away from my parents. The park was first thing that seemed to pop into my mind, it was get away as it was for most children.
The park had green trees that blocked out the sun almost, the bird chirped sweet melodies as they huddled together in a nest. A monarch butterfly even flew by. Hardly anyone was there, and I was grateful for the silence that was around me. Now because I’m a loner like that, I decided to lay down on the small merry go round that stood still as no children dared to play with it. It stood there lonely, and I was happy to give it company. I let my feet dangle off the edge, as I tried to swing it with my feet, barely making it go halfway. I closed my eyes and tried to block out the irritating moments of my parents that happened only five minutes ago.
In my dream world, I was sitting under my tree where the sky was blue, green, and black. I had on black clothing as well, and the creek nearby was the only sound I heard. I was in serenity, until I saw a figure, and I heard a faint voice, but I couldn’t make it out all the way.
“Mikey?” It asked.
“Gerard?” Was my instinct reaction.
“Open your eyes.” I slowly opened them and bit my lip as it was Bob my friend.
“Bob? What are doing here?” I looked directly at his dazzling blue eyes.
“I could ask you the same question, are you okay? And who’s Gerard?” He raised an eyebrow.
“It’s a long story.” I mumbled.
“Well good, cause I haven’t had a damn thing to do all day, and you know I’m a great listener.” He smirked. I nodded in agreement, Bob’s ears were always open for listening. Another reason why I liked having him as a friend.
“Take a breath.” I said before explaining the whole situation and seeing his reaction being compared to Ray’s. They weren’t different at all.
“Oh….shit.” He put in. I nodded.
“Well maybe you should see check an online site? He could be on there, with an address maybe.”
“I know. I was going to, but I don’t know if it would work.”
“If that doesn’t work, you can always check a missing person’s report too.”
“Good idea!” I smiled. He nodded and gave me that ‘I know I’m smart, thank you’ look. I shook my head and laughed.
“What am I going to do Bob? I severely pissed my parents off.”
“Your parents will get over it sometime Mikey. In the mean time, you got to figure out if you’re gonna do this or not.” I nodded.
“I know I want to. So bad. I’ve only talked to Ray about this, and he said the same thing.” He nodded.
“I’m not gonna lie and say its gonna be easy. But take it from someone who had a lifetime of experiences, that its okay to take a chance once in awhile, even if it doesn’t work out. You don’t want to waste your life wishing you had taken that chance and wondering what could’ve happen. Just go for it.” I took his words in stride and they just felt so right. I couldn’t help myself but reach out into the warm teddy bear arms of Bob.
He’s rather a tough guy, but he didn’t push away like I thought he would. He hugged me and it felt nice to hold someone. In a non sexual way. I pulled back with more happiness from the small talk.
“Since you have nothing better to do, do you want to come with me to the library and look for him? I can’t exactly go home right now.”
“Yeah….” He agreed.
“Let’s go.” He stood up from the merry go round. I got up as well, and soon we were walking to the library and headed straight for the computers. I logged on to the internet and looked up Gerard Way on a site where it can give you addresses. So far, there was none. I groaned.
“Don’t be so uptight just yet. Change the mile range to 0 and try it now.” I did what Bob said and there was 5 Gerard Way’s on the site.
“Well hell, how do I know which one’s which?” I looked at Bob who looked confused.
“Check the addresses, and see if one matches.” I looked at the addresses and none of them seemed to be by the New Jersey area. One was in…Australia?
“Do you think he’s in California? None of these have numbers listed. What if none of them are even him?” I asked nervously. There was no number to call, and I sucked at an educated guess. But something told me California.
“I think he’s in California.”
“I think so too.”
“I really hope I’m right. California is a long way from here.” He nodded.
“But is it worth it?”
“Of course.”
“Then don’t worry about. And say a prayer it is.” He smiled. I nodded and wrote all the addresses down just incase. My hour limit was over and me and Bob walked out and to Ray’s house. I need a ‘group meeting’ and it was urgent.
“What is it?” He yawned.
Us three were currently sitting in Bob’s younger sister’s tree house. Its embarrassing I know, but we had no where else to go. Not to mention its pink.
“I think I found him.” I said simply.
“Really?”
I nodded and handed him the paper.
“California?” He said confused.
“I don’t know if its really him, but Gerard Way isn’t that common of a name, it could be.”
“True.” He nodded in a agreement.
“So what now..?” Bob added. I shrugged.
“I want to go. But I need a car. I have money saved up. Didn’t know it would come in handy this much.” I laughed.
“I don’t necessarily want to go alone…if you can come with me?” I said in a hopeful tone. Both of them gave a frown and I just sighed. Every situation is different. Ray’s mom would freak out, and Bob…well I don’t know about Bob.
“This seems way too much, but I think I can go. I can just tell my dad my cousin Garret wants me to visit. He lives in Oregon. I don’t have a life remember.” He shrugged. I nodded and smiled.
“Cool.” I turned to Ray, who twiddled his thumbs.
“Maybe I can convince my mom that there’s a college fair in California. That’s only the way I can think of.”
“So we’re gonna do this? We’re gonna find Gerard?” I smiled. They both nodded.
“I’m so happy to have friends like you…I’m getting all choked up.” I put a fist to my mouth and pretended to cry. They laughed.
“But I think we need one more person to complete this mission.” Bob said grinning. I thought about it, and finally caught on. My other best friend. I clapped my hands. Okay I lied, I have a couple best friends.
“Let’s do this right. To make it official.” Bob grinned like a mad man. We each whispered things back and forth as if we were talking about something top secret. Like Area 51 crap or something. Be ready for me, I'm on the prowl....
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