FicWad

"I just can't see life without you," he told me.
I felt my heart lift off out of my chest and fly off with a positive feeling. My body froze as I was left standing in the door way. It was like a dream come true, as if he was saying the things that I wanted him to say. It felt all I have ever asked for just has happened now. A small smile appeared on my lips. It was hard to believe. I looked down at Gerard who hopelessly was sitting on my bed. His tired eyes held hoping as he stared at me.
For once I didn't feel vulnerable. I put my hands on either side of the door frame to push myself to Gerard and just hug him. Out of the blue I gripped on the door frame from sudden realisation. He was telling me things that I wanted to hear, it was like he was under my command.
"You shouldn't say that," I told him and backed away.
I felt like I put him under a curse, like I forced him to say those things to me.
"What do you mean I shouldn't say that?" he sounded surprised.
"I don't know," I turned away. "It's just not right," I made my way into the lounge.
"What? What do you mean?" he stuttered and followed me.
"It's not right," I kept my gaze to the floor and sat on a sofa.
"What do you mean it's not right? I thought this is what you wanted?" he crouched down on the floor and looked at me pleadingly.
"See! That's the problem!" I screeched. "You're doing what I want you to do!"
"Of course I am," he looked confused.
"But it's not what you want though..."
His eyes widened, "Wait, is this why you're being like this? Because I don't want it?"
I nodded.
"Nicole," he sighed. "Don't think I'm doing this because you're making me, if you did then I would be doing this long ago. I want this too Nicole, more than you want this to happen."
I felt so stupid, "Are you serious?"
He let out a chuckle, "Of course I am, I don't have time to joke about something so serious."
I breathed out and seconds later breathed in. "Wow..." now this all took me by surprise.
He smiled, "You look tired, why don't you have a nap, come on."
He pulled me up and led me to my bedroom.
"So what's going to happen?" I tried to blink sleep away.
"Well, I was thinking maybe we should go to dinner some time and see where things go," he smiled.
"Yea, maybe we should. Tomorrow night?" I asked drowsily.
"Yes, tomorrow night hun. Just go to sleep now," he had the same smile on his face as he put me to bed.
I nodded sleepily. "Gerard, just don't go anywhere... I don't want this to change."
He kissed my forehead, "Nothing will change, you just sleep."








Fuck my life
Took effort to write this
I'm just having trouble again with the girlfriend
We're on the edge of breaking up and I've been just so confused
Everyone in my life are telling me to dump her but she won't let me go and I just can't do it im just in love with her
Mum now knows I'm bi and she's my girlfriend and eh she kinda did accept it but wants me to dump her
I've been going to the counsellor and turns out I have depression... yipee...

Review? Coz I have no idea what to do...