Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > I'm Just A Ghost, Haunting My Own Life

Chapter 4

by areyounormal 3 reviews

Am I dead?

Category: Fall Out Boy - Rating: PG - Genres: Angst,Drama - Published: 2009-09-06 - Updated: 2009-09-06 - 1025 words - Complete

My eyes jerked open and I was really confused. I was again standing in the doorway, sheltering from the cold and the rain. Although, I had to admit that it didn’t feel so cold any more. Perhaps I’d grown used to it, or perhaps the wind whipping around the wide, virtually carless street had just died down. Had I been daydreaming? Dozed off? It was the strangest thing. Pete wouldn’t have slipped me something. Would he? No. No, he wouldn’t do anything like that. He didn’t even do that himself. Joe, maybe, but not Pete.
I smiled to myself. I was doing it again, surely? I was in my own little world. That’s what had happened before and I had just taken it that step further. I sighed, almost laughed in relief. About fifty yards away, I saw Pete returning, he was cold, shivering and soaked to the skin. Even though the rain had stopped now, his hair still plastered down over his eyes and cheeks dripped and streamed with water. His waterlogged hoodie, now considerably darker than I remembered it to be, sagged under the weight of the absorbed rain. As he got closer, I could hear his feet squelching in his battered old leaky sneakers. Worse still, the look on his face. There was no anger as such, but somehow a strange mixture of sullen and forlorn. Our sudden heated argument and my uncharacteristic storming out had upset him, apparently more than I had realised. Guilt welled up inside me and I knew there was only one thing I could do – apologise. Neither of us had been in the right, like I said it had been a stupid row, but now here he was searching for me, drenched to the skin and chilled to the bone. He deserved an apology and I’d make him a special cup of my secret recipe cocoa too. He’d certainly need something to warm him up.

As he drew closer, I stepped from the doorway.

“Pete,” I began feeling even worse as I looked at his miserable expression. “I’m really sorry.”

My heart sank as he blanked me and walked past, not even a scowl to acknowledge my efforts. But it was only part of what I wanted to say. Walking along briskly beside him, I continued.

“Pete, listen,” I begged. “I shouldn’t have said those things. We were… the argument had gotten out of hand… I just said stuff I knew would hurt you and I shouldn’t have. I’m really sorry.”

Pete didn’t even break stride. I knew he could be moody, but this was ridiculous!

“Pete! Will you just stop and listen to me, please!”
“I don’t even know why I bothered,” he muttered under his breath.

Well, it was a reaction at least. But then… then it started to get weird.

“You’re probably in a cab now on your way back home. All comfy and dry! No thought for what stupid Pete’s doing. Running around in the rain, getting soaked, trying to find the guy he thought was a friend. Is this how you treat a best friend, Patrick? Is it?”
“Pete? What are you talking about? I’m right here. I’ve said I’m sorry and I meant it. What more can I say?”
“I was seconds behind you! You must have seen me. Did you even look? Did you even care?”
“Pete wait!”

I reached out for his arm and my hand went straight through. That, at least, got a reaction, from both of us. I stopped dead in my tracks and stared wide-eyed as he spun around to face me. His eyes focusing a little ahead of where I was now standing. He looked to the left and right, before giving a small shake of his head and turning back to continue the walk back to his apartment. Me? I was still standing there, still dumbstruck. Terrified. It hadn’t been a daydream. How could it not have been a daydream? This wasn’t real.

“Yeah, it is,” came a voice behind me.

I turned slowly to see the girl that had been there in the cellar room. Now under the street lighting, I could see her properly. Shoulder length milk chocolate brown hair and mid-brown eyes with a lightly tanned glow to her skin, she couldn’t have been more than seventeen.

“He doesn’t seem at all how you described him,” she added.
“No, well you don’t know him like I do,” I snapped back.

The moment I said it, I regretted it. It was a mean thing to say, but I was really shaken by what had happened and I really wasn’t in the mood for chatting. Well, what was I in the mood for? Nothing! All I wanted was to find out what the hell was happening to me.

“Hey!” I called as she started to walk away. “Where are you going?”
“You’re not in the mood to chat, so I’m going.”
“I didn’t say that out loud,” I replied nervously.
“Loud enough for me to hear it,” she replied cryptically.
“Who are you?” I asked, confused.
“That’s your first question?” she stared briefly before smiling. “Well, maybe there’s hope for you yet?”
“What do you mean?” she was losing me again.
“Well, most people make it all about themselves. You know, Am I dead? What’s happened to me? What have you done to me? All that crap, you know? But you asked about me first, so maybe not a lost cause after all?”

I stared at her blankly, not knowing quite what to do or say, but thankfully, she broke the ice again. Grinning at me, she leaned forward with a conspiratorial look on her face.

“I know you have all those questions too,” she beamed. “Go ahead, ask them!”

I took a deep breath, not entirely sure if I wanted the answers, but I knew I needed to ask. Gingerly, I formed the strangest sentence of my life.

“Am I dead?”
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