Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Holly Evans and the Spiral Path

Sordid Details

by wordhammer 3 reviews

The Secret Life of Lily Evans; Hermione and Pansy bond on brooms

Category: Harry Potter - Rating: R - Genres: Drama - Characters: Hermione,Lily,Pansy - Warnings: [!!!] - Published: 2009-09-25 - Updated: 2009-09-26 - 12636 words - Complete

5Original
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all related concepts are owned by someone who isn't me. I will never seek or accept money for the circulation of this work.

Holly Evans and the Spiral Path
Chapter 30: Sordid Details

15th March, 1994

Dear Minerva,
After chatting with Natalia on the nature of identity, I've decided to keep up the correspondence with Hermione as Harry. My hope is to continue being in her life in one mode or another and sort out the details when I can speak to her directly. I will let her know the truth at some point, but I am still greatly concerned that whoever was playing with her mind may yet have access to it, and that's exactly the sort of person we need to defend against. I've sent Newt back to Hermione with a response from Harry by way of Hedwig. If Newt can keep her company, she might catch our puppeteer when next he or she tries to modify Hermione. Then again, with me in prison this unknown assailant may have no reason to approach Hermione at all. Anyway, as I said before I'd really like your advice on how to be Harry with Hermione. I've included my first letter here for your review. Let me know what you think.

Dear Hermione,
Again, thanks for allowing me to take Newt for the last few days. She's a real treat and absolutely delightful to watch and 'correspond with'. She should be attached to this note somehow, so feel free to ask her how she liked our visit. Also, thank you for your help with my Arithmancy project. I was SO far off base! You are really good at that stuff, just brilliant! I guess I'd better study harder.
I'm sorry that things are so horrible for you right now. I can't say for sure, but I think Holly will understand if you explain to her what happened to make you see things differently. You may be a better judge of her than I am though, as I barely got to know her before everything fell apart. Did she say anything to you about me? I hope I made a good impression. I hate that I've been kept away for so long, but it was for my protection or so they say. Even this letter puts my limited freedom at risk. I can't guarantee I'll be able to write often, so we should plan to keep the letters long and infrequent. I mean, y'know, if you wanted to keep writing me. It's okay if you don't. Actually, it's not okay. I'd really like to keep in contact with you. You were very nice to me. Also I don't have Holly sending me journal entries anymore, so I feel more cut off than normal. I hope you understand.
That said, I'd like to ask a perhaps indelicate question. If you could undo what was done to your head and what you said to Holly, would you want to be with her again? I don't know if you want to talk about that but it seems important to you and I know it's important to Holly.

Your friend,
Harry


I'm really trying to extend a friendly avenue of support without seeming to flirt, which is why I brought up our relationship. It will remind her that 'Harry' knows much of what's gone on between us, so that she doesn't think of Harry as a prospect she can approach with a clean slate. God, I am so nervous about this. I'm also nervous about how easy it is for me to put myself into a 'Harry state of mind'.

Holly

*

20th March, 1994

Dear Minerva,
Okay, I get it. I'll go back to being 'in-prison girl'. Natalia's reasonably satisfied with our three day shopping marathon, so I doubt we'll be seen in public anytime soon, even by squib relatives of the Weasleys like Otis. No, I don't think I've crossed another line. Also, no, I don't think it would be best if I 'just let the poor girl get back to her studies'. Hermione is hurting and I want to be there for her, one way or another. I'll copy some stuff here so you can see what I'm talking about. The girl wrote twenty-one pages to Harry (a good portion of that was describing people and places you and I both know) but every statement, every opinion was tinged with the sense of needing validation. Here's a sample:
Y'know what? I can't copy it. That little minx put a charm on the parchment. She probably wants to make sure Harry doesn't share her thoughts with his keepers by accident; Natalia tried reading it and only saw Newt's caricatures of well-known Hogwarts faculty. As a favour, see if you can find a reason to dump a bunch of points on Hermione. Even heartbroken, her mind is active and her paranoia is working at suitably Holly-like levels, at least for written missives. I'm so proud. I'm proud of Newt as well, but I don't think you'll find a bribe large enough to induce her to redraw the pictures for you. The nicest one was an image of me wearing nothing but a giant horse bridle around my waist jumping off a cliff with you trailing behind by 30 feet or so being dragged through the underbrush by the reins and thinking 'If I can just guide her to a more careful path...'
Anyway, without the option of recounting the details, you'll have to take my word for it. I can tell you about a situation that you may find offers a better explanation for some odd behaviour, at least.
The Twins approached Hermione a few days back to warn her that her inter-class pathways make it easy for our enemies to plan ambushes, as Fred and George had barely managed to prevent Crabbe and Goyle from dumping a half-drum of Bubotuber pus onto her as she was walking back from the library the previous night. They mentioned this to her in the Gryffindor common room, leading to the strange circumstance- the next day in the library, Hermione saw Ron walking intently towards her but he brushed past her to instead head into the stack of books behind Hermione's preferred table. Moments later as you may know, Madame Pince broke up a quite bloody brawl between Ron and Draco Malfoy, during which Ron accused Draco of arranging for his 'Bludger-brained bedmates' to attack his... friend (pregnant pause as per Hermione). Hermione noted two things at the conclusion of this battle; Draco hadn't stopped breathing heavily from the fight, despite all other blood cooling off under the librarian's icy gaze, and Ron was 'awfully cute' when he was standing up for her. Kudos to my ex-roommate for finally noticing Draco's Ron-obsession, but then she goes on for a page and half, re-evaluating everything Ron has done or said around her for the past two years in a forgiving light of bashful attraction.
I mean, honestly. Ron? He's an alright bloke for being a dim bulb. If Hermione wanted to date a Weasley, I'd likely recommend George as more her speed, or Percy if she wants to do some good in the world. I doubt Percy'd pressure her for sex and they both could use some care and understanding, though I suppose it's hard to see the admirable Gryffindor qualities in our Head Boy these days. If she could bag Cedric I'd forgive her for any sense of betrayal so long as she shared her memories of being with him. Of course, that option would require her to forego her virginity stance as I'm sure Cedric has taken special moments from more than a few witches at Hogwarts and wouldn't necessarily wait on a third year to get comfortable with the idea. But Ron? I think Newt missed another visit from our puppeteer!
I suppose it's worth mentioning that after exhaustive experimentation and testing with Natalia in a very scienterrific fashion, I have concluded that I am bisexual, but when I'm Harry I'm just straight. That's why the idea of Cedric and Hermione together isn't so much a betrayal as a safari I wish I could attend. For my part, though I tend to fall in love with women I can't deny the joyful pleasure to be gained by bouncing away on Gordon's... Gorgon. To be fair, I think I'm setting myself up for disappointment as your average bloke won't be able to sustain that sort of activity for anywhere near the length of time I've been able to enjoy it with Gordon. Natalia has proven that with Harry too often to argue. We'll see in time. At least I'm getting lots of exercise.
Lots and lots and lots of exercise.
Do you remember Gwenog Jones as a student? Natalia met her in person for a 'private interview' a few years ago when she made Captain for the Harpies (Tonks played it as a school project/reporter thing). Gwenog (or Natalia's version of Ms. Jones) has a tattoo on her inner thigh that makes it look like the muscle is exposed and made of steel cables. That's Natalia's exercise goal for me; to strengthen my muscles until they're like steel cables, yet keep me pliable enough to touch my feet to my head without using my arms except for balance. Some days I think staying in Azkaban would have been easier. On the other hand, seeing Gwenog in the altogether wasn't a bad date night, all in all.

Holly

*

Minerva,
Having reread my last post I realise that I was possessed by the spirit of a 15 year old girl. I may be one, but I am horrified that I'm acting like it. Sorry. I'll try harder to focus. Natalia's making me goofy-brained. If it's any consolation, she seems to be taking her studies and my training much more seriously now.

Holly

*

29th March, 1994

Dear Minerva,
As promised earlier, I will relate some of the content from my Mum's journals to give you an idea of the deeper levels of the plots and conspiracies she was able to discover. After I skipped around trying to piece things together, I realised that she had hidden whole sections of her journals based upon knowing obscure facts from her history, making the books seem less important to a casual interloper than they actually are. Once I discovered this, I started back at the beginning and read through her first few years. I then discovered that there were markers in the margins indicating when she would need to take in a stored memory with her Pensieve to supplement the written information. This was her technique to restore her mind from nearly a complete Obliviation without leaving around important secrets for a nosy husband to stumble across. Hopefully you can bear through some of the personal history so that I can relate the relevant facts that are otherwise hidden. Have I mentioned recently that Lily was a bloody genius?

Lily Eloise Evans was born in a textile town near Manchester, the younger and more attractive of two daughters. Her first exposure to magical society (visits from the Obliviators cleaning up accidental magic aside) was through a local boy her age named Severus Snape. Severus spoke much about the magical world to Lily after witnessing her performing an impish prank on her sister Petunia by changing her favorite periwinkle dress to a lime green color with flashing ribbons on the sleeves, right before they had to go to church. Lily had begun to exert some minor control over her abilities even then, which impressed the sullen Severus. Over the next year they saw each other sporadically but spent hours together when they could, testing the limits of their magical ability without wands and talking about the magical world. Once Lily's letter for Hogwarts arrived, Petunia was ready to strangle her little sister. What had once been an amicable rivalry and friendship between the sisters became an ugly jealousy from Petunia, reflected back by Lily in a sense of betrayal and righteous indignation. Lily wrote that she told Petunia that she had never asked for these gifts, but she wasn't going to be ashamed of them either. Petunia obviously disagreed.
Much of Lily's early Hogwarts years were unremarkable in that she quickly became enchanted with the castle, magical society and especially the capabilities of magic itself, like generations of muggle-borns before her. Lily defiantly continued her friendship with Severus during those years despite the long-standing rivalry between the Houses, even dressing down her own House's prefects for their thoughtless biases and cruel harassment. In one such speech she said "I think your harshness is way mean and a total bummer! If my friend's karma had brought him to our circle, you'd be thanking him for the points his potions-skills would be earning the House. So what if he's more ambitious than he is brave? I don't think Sev is a coward and I don't think you're brave when five of you beat on him in an isolated corridor, but it is cowardly for our Prefects to witness the crime and not say anything about it. Not cool, wizzies. Not cool at all." It was 1973. From what I can tell that was like Churchill's 'We Shall Fight on the Beaches' speech to this crowd. Go mum.
Third year is when things became truly interesting for Lily, as three significant changes occurred in her life. The first as you probably guessed was her involvement in the Department of Mysteries Time Turner internship program. The second though related change was that she ceased any further use (!) of mind-altering chemicals, believing that living two concurrent lives was enough of a mind-bending experience. (Just think- she was that accomplished a young witch while being almost constantly baked. Blame Hagrid, as I think he was her dealer for the most part. Forbidden Forest indeed!) The third was her beginning correspondence with Perenelle Flamel. Their friendship began through an impressively quick deduction by Lily of Perenelle's involvement in the program, and turned into a quickly-accelerating discourse on the nature of magic and time. Perhaps to help protect her secrets but more likely as a way to help Lily retrain her mind after losing much of its cohesion in a haze of hashish and hallucinogens over her first two years, Perenelle began teaching Lily the Mind Arts. By the end of the year Lily had mastered the notebook that Perenelle eventually sent to me, and their letters moved from purely theoretical discussions into the realms of politics and society.
With the beginning of Lily's fourth year her whole demeanor and writing style shifted. Gone was the giddy explorer into mind-bending experiences and what emerged was a hard-nosed intellectual with a dark sense of humour. The cause of this change may have come from a number of factors, but the defining moment happened over the summer.
Having little magic to do at home, Lily resumed her discussions with Severus. While she never revealed the source of her education to him, Lily felt she owed her friend the opportunity to share in the benefits of her tutelage in the Mind Arts. Over the course of the summer she taught Severus much about Occlumency and Legilimency, until one fine day the week before returning to school they agreed to test Severus' barriers. I don't think Severus wanted to keep Lily out of his mind, though. The sharing of his life and hardships lead to them sharing... oh for... they lost their cherries together, alright? Cue the mental bleaching. I could've saved myself years of therapy by not viewing the referenced memory strand. Thankfully the 7-second delay mirror has allowed me to obscure the parts that were making me twitch. The rest of the memory is just as hilarious as you would expect first-time sex to be for an observer.
Lily wrote a lot about her feelings on the matter, but the sum of it is this; she liked him, felt sorry for him and crossed a line in an emotionally potent moment that broke their friendship. It wouldn't have been so bad, but from that point forward Severus treated her like she belonged to him, and Lily was having none of that. The resulting argument came to a head on the Express to school, when their shouting brought several other Gryffindor students to Lily's defense. You know them, I'm sure. They had broken enough rules by then that hexing Severus into a pile of goo probably wasn't much of a surprise. What gives me a kick is that Severus volleyed back almost evenly, despite being outnumbered four to one. Lily thanked her champions and then proceeded to hex them into submission for interfering with a private disagreement. Lily's fairly certain that's when James Potter fell for her. Bad timing for James, as at that point Lily had no interest in looking for love.

Holly

*

10th April, 1994

Minerva,
At the risk of resurrecting my gossip-crazed teen alter-ego, I'll indulge in this moment of annoyance and then move on.
Any Ron-Hermione relationship worries I had went out the window when Ron accused Hermione's cat-kneazle companion Crookshanks of eating his rat Scabbers who has disappeared. Hermione's argument that she 'asked Crookshanks and that he regretfully said no, he'd missed his chance' wasn't very convincing to Ron as Hermione couldn't explain how she was able to get the cat-thing to answer her without talking about Mind Arts. I would have taken the high road and simply said "Crookshanks has a more refined palate than that- if Crooks had killed Scabbers, he would have proudly left the trophy in the center of the Common Room for you to find in the morning."
With the closing of that avenue for dating, Hermione immediately agreed to Seamus Finnegan's invitation for the next Hogsmeade weekend. They're now a couple, though Seamus has yet to progress beyond a kiss and holding hands. The only reason I can fathom for Hermione to tell Harry about her dates is to keep their communication flowing without making Harry think she's holding out for him, as I wrote her not to do so in my last letter. All I'm saying is that my communication with her is not interfering with her studies in the least. She's becoming distracted entirely by her own design.
The other strange development of note is Pansy Parkinson's attempt to bridge our history of antagonism and establish some sort of friendship with Hermione. Following the trial and whatever the Weasley twins did to the Slytherins, Pansy has been a pariah in her own House so I can understand where reaching out to Hermione again would be the next logical step.
Pansy began her dance of seduction by sitting with Hermione in the library to discuss a point brought up in Lupin's Defense class. It became a periodic thing, where Pansy sat down and started arguing with Hermione on a point from whatever shared class had a topic worth the chewing. Hermione explained that their discussions were never acrimonious and always stuck to the point of contention from the class. In her last letter, Hermione laid out both arguments of one of these discussions quite fairly (of course Hermione was right but she gave Pansy's view a fair representation as best as I can tell) for Harry to consider. Before I started on a supportive reply, I noticed several of these marks at the bottom of the page.
~~
~~

They reminded me of Newt's signature so much that I took off my glasses and inspected them much closer- Newt had compressed a short conversation transcript and included it for me to expand and read. This is what she wrote:

Mum, I had hoped you'd figure this out! Since I thought you might be getting nervous about Hermione spending time with Ms. Parkinson after she led you to the ambush, I thought you should read this transcript. I think you'll see that Hermione isn't being seduced, or if she is it's quite subtle. I still won't spy for you, but I thought that this was something Hermione wouldn't want to keep from you. Better that you work through any anger over this well before your return. ~Newt~
Transcription: 8th April, 1994 starting 7:12 PM
Hermione and Pansy are washing up after a brief trip to the loo as a break from their studies. Noticing no one else in the room, Hermione leans up against the mirror next to the sink where Pansy is washing her hands and looks at the willowy Slytherin suspiciously for a moment before beginning to speak.
Hermione: "Pansy, are we becoming friends?"
Pansy: "Granger, because we are becoming friends I will say this to you honestly just this once. I will betray you if it suits my purposes. I just find it difficult right at this moment not to appreciate talking with someone who wouldn't do that. Trust can be addicting. Eventually I'll come to my senses. In the meantime, yes. I am your friend."
Hermione: "Then may I ask a favor of you?"
Pansy: "Yes. We can negotiate on compensation when I know what you have worth trading."
Hermione: "Pansy... fine. Would you teach me to ride a broom? The classes with Professor Hooch never brought me to a level of comfort with it, and I've seen you ride. You flew quite gracefully over the lake several times during first term."
Pansy: "Yes, before my movements were being curtailed. Hmm... Arithmancy."
Hermione starts shaking her head.
Hermione: "I won't do your homework..."
Pansy rolls her eyes.
Pansy: "No, we can't have that. It is simply a matter of... look. I couldn't join your... ehh... political movement and I could use some tutoring."
Hermione: "Tutoring? Oh, absolutely! The study group is no longer meaningful and the best way to reinforce learning is to teach. It doesn't even feel like a fair trade! Oh. I probably shouldn't have said that."
Pansy smiles and Hermione cocks an eyebrow.
Hermione: "What?"
Pansy: "Don't ever change, Granger. Should you actually become cunning the world shall surely tremble in fear."
Transcription ends.

This to Newt is reassuring? I decided to play the same game back and sent Harry's return letter with a little microdot of my own: @
Expanded it says "Cool idea Newt. Please keep an eye on things. I miss you. Try to get Hermione to send you back in one of her missives for a visit. Love, Holly." Following my sense of humour, it does so in a spiral. As long as my responses remain pithy, the whole thing should go undetected.

Holly

*

15th April, 1994

Minerva,
Time for more from 'the Exceedingly Well-Documented Secret Life of Lily Evans'.
Following Lily and Severus' falling out, Lily was isolated from most of her classmates. The Gryffindors were siding with the popular Marauder boys and the Slytherins were rejecting all contact given Lily's heritage and Snape's cooling affection, though Lily and Severus both struggled to repair their friendship. Lily now found herself drawn to another outcast figure in the form of Remus Lupin. Once Remus had caught Lily's attention it took her little more than a month to deduce that he had lycanthropy. Remus' reluctant participation in the train battle and his evident intellect drew Lily to sympathise with his plight, and so she took it upon herself to teach another friend the Arts of the Mind, in this case hoping to help Remus better manage the Beast within him. It took the rest of the term for Lily to convince Remus that she meant well, and she started teaching him in earnest.
Mum was a bright witch with few rivals, but in this area she kept making the same mistake and once again kindness and deep understanding were mistaken for attraction. I suppose it didn't help that the western world was in the throes of the free love movement. Credit to Remus for being able to hold back until nearly the end of the year and credit to Lily for not running away immediately when Remus' ardour caused him to quite literally maul her. Lily healed without any signs of infection, but Remus was so mortified and Lily so frightened that their Mind Arts explorations ceased immediately. If not for his lycanthropy they might actually have fallen in love, even though they had jumped to sex first. Lily's Occlumency tutelage seemed to be quite the aphrodisiac, but I think they were truly of similar minds and temperaments. Somehow Severus reasoned out what was happening between the two and rather abruptly called Lily a whore in a private confrontation before the summer break. By-the-by, Lily didn't actually correspond with Perenelle about her sharing the Mind Arts with her friends until she asked for help in overcoming Remus' difficulties in learning Occlumency. That was when Perenelle sent her the warning letter about Ministry Hidden Policy Twelve- 'Bright Witches Must Be Dimmed'. All those involved (including me) did wonder what the first eleven hidden policies cover, and how many more have been enacted. Perhaps Director Bones has made some progress along those lines. We'll know she was at least partly successful if she's assassinated in the next few months.
Lily had realised that her efforts in helping Lupin hadn't really unburdened the boy much and she couldn't continue her instruction after their violent moment of intimacy. Remus' life of pain and loneliness touched her so greatly that she helped the Marauders with their plan of becoming Animagi, so Remus would at least have some sympathetic company while she worked on a greater solution. Perenelle had invited Lily to visit the Flamels in France for the summer and it was during a social function there that Lily discussed some of her potion-work with one Damocles Belby.
Perhaps you're familiar with Mr. Belby, the Order of Merlin recipient who astounded the wizarding world when he released the formula for the Wolfsbane potion in 1977, meant to help werewolves curtail their bloodthirsty urges and retain some control during their Change. It was a revolution for the werewolf community that should have initiated a wholesale change in the treatment of werewolves. Two facts got in the way of that. One: the rarest component in the formula is a controlled import in the hands of the Mulciber Apothecary Supplies Company. Two: Damocles didn't do shite but put his pureblood name on the treatise submitted for UPQ 1975 as a last-minute drop-in. Lily invented it.
If there's anything obvious to me it is that innovation comes from two sources; the need to solve a critical problem and/or divine (or hallucinogenic) inspiration. Damocles had neither and Lily had both, possibly all three with the flashbacks. While Damocles did contribute a few morsels of information about other reagents that Lily could use to temper her concoction, it hardly justified his turning around and submitting Lily's work-to-date as a career-making treatise in the Underground Potions edition being sent to his printers a month later. When Lily confronted the man on his deceit, Belby taught her two lessons; the first is that an underage muggle-born girl is barely above a house-elf in rights and privileges in Magical Society- with his name associated with the publication and Lily having no institutional support for the work being hers, Belby could accuse her of trying to steal his honest innovation and his name and status would ensure she was imprisoned for the affront. The second lesson Belby taught her was never to confront a stronger, more experienced wizard without backup. Lily taught him a trick as well. Don't assume your opponent is disarmed just because you stole their wand. Damocles was unable to complete his intended 'seduction' of my mother as he was suffering an acute bout of werewolf saliva poisoning. They called a stalemate. Mr. Belby suddenly became very interested in helping Lily complete her research, providing funding and a reasonably isolated workspace for the following two years that he was careful never to visit personally. Lily also extorted a decent nest egg in gold from him in exchange for his name continuing to be associated with the work. That turned out to be a timely investment. When Lily sold the gold in 1981 in order to secure her escape fund, its value had nearly quintupled because of the worldwide recession. Lily was paid after all. Most of Lily's time during fifth and sixth years was taken up with that research, Prefect duties and an ongoing game of hide and seek with James Potter. Lily truly had no interest in the boy, simply because that's what he was- a boy. By the end of sixth year he had finally gotten the message and started to change his behavior, just in time to prevent Sirius from leading Severus into the Shrieking Shack to be eviscerated by a soon-to-transform Remus.
In her seventh year Lily developed and released another innovation, this time based upon her research into time theory, the Aging Charm Vicis Sarcina. Lily had cause once more to develop an innovation but not from the need to solve a problem so much as a need to publish something to get her Charms Mastery. Lily was quite beside herself when Professor Flitwick told her that all she needed to do was publish the theory and Arithmantic derivations. Lily had obviously learned something from her previous experiences, as she completed the Mastery paper but sold the spell itself to the goblins in exchange for their support in establishing the House of Evans. The goblins saw great value in being able to see how an object appeared once aged or de-aged, but she missed the fine print a little. They set up her House with the Ministry but Lily was committed to share her next innovation with them free of charge. Lily pulled an end-run on them, as her next published spellwork was the Scarpin's variant that lists a person's vital statistics. It's also a nifty way to tell if a person is pregnant, drugged, poisoned or on the Wolfsbane Draught, which is why she developed it in the first place. The DMLE purchased rights to the spellwork from the goblins for a decent sum, I'm told.

Holly

*

20th April, 1994

Minerva,
Hermione's last letter wasn't particularly noteworthy in the overt content so much as Newt's latest collection of spy-squiggles. I guess I'll have to give Pansy a chance when I get back.
~~
~~
~~
~~
~~
~~

Mum,
Maybe this conversation will be a better example of why you don't need to worry about Ms. Parkinson, at least for now. I'll tag along for the next letter back. ~Newt~

Transcription: 17th April, 1994 starting 5:44 AM

Hermione walks onto the mist-covered Quidditch pitch carrying a school broom, approaching Pansy's moaning form crouched onto the grass. Pansy is sporting a broken jaw and numerous head traumas healing under application of magical poultices held in place with a binding cloth. Pansy looks up at Hermione's approach and stands.
Pansy: "Gryffindor finally winsh the Quidditsch Cup and the nexsht day I'm teasching a lion to fly. I feel like I losht a bet."
Hermione: "Pansy! My God, what happened to you?"
Pansy: "Lingering retribushion. Let's fly broomsh."
Hermione: "A-are you sure? I mean, when Holly is flying she's thrown all over the place. Won't it hurt you worse?"
Pansy: "You needn't fly like your shuicidal friend; most of ush don't treat it like riding a rocket. It's more like a horshe that doeshn't bouncshe."
Hermione: "Pansy, this is ridiculous. I know I can heal your jaw- I've spent months in my parents' dental practice watching them work and reading everything at hand and I know I can use their overall techniques with magical healing. Let me try, at least."
Pansy looks doubtfully at Hermione but dismounts from her broom and sits down on the grass and allows Hermione to detach the bindings holding her jaw shut. Hermione moves through several different spells, first numbing and diagnostic ones, then a version of Rigor Tergum that holds Pansy's pieces together while Hermione applies the Episkey sealing spell to realign and weld the jaw back together.
After a few minutes of further diagnostic spells, Hermione sits back with a very self-satisfied smirk.
Hermione: "Done! Try moving it around carefully. It will be sore for a while, I should think."
Pansy: "Ooh! It is, but that's a damned sight better than the bones grinding together. If you can do that, why are you so nervous on a broom?"
Hermione: "Well, I wouldn't want to fall! You saw how Neville broke his arm in our first lesson and that was just a miracle given how far he fell!"
Pansy looks strangely at Hermione for several seconds and then stands up off the grass. Pansy mounts her broom, shoots up about fifty feet into the sky and looks back down at Hermione. With a jaunty wave, Pansy flips off the broom and falls quickly to the ground, landing on her back, elbows and heels. Hermione stands agog before rushing over to Pansy as she stands up from the ground once more.
Hermione: "How did you...?"
Pansy: "We weren't laughing at Longbottom for falling. We were laughing because he failed to use his magic to protect himself from damage. This is one of the reasons you mud-... ahhh... muggleborns earn our contempt. You act like muggles, afraid to walk for fear of your own shadow."
Hermione: "The force of that fall must have been greater than any a human's punch could exert. How did your jaw get broken?"
Pansy: "A human didn't hit me. A wizard did. His magical intent against my magical defense cancels each other out. Unless you're Evans. I've heard she shattered Flint's pelvis before she so amusingly emptied his head."
Hermione's mind races with the change in perspective, her response to Pansy a distracted aside.
Hermione: "Yes, she did. Holly used the same technique to shatter the Philosopher's Stone in Professor Quirrel's mouth."
Pansy: "Are you serious? Evans murdered a Professor in her first year? What about Potter? Where was he in all this?"
Hermione: "I... I wasn't there. Holly and I couldn't go forward together so she went on alone and I went back for help. Holly told everyone it was Harry to get them off Ron Weasley's back at the beginning of second year. She..."
Pansy: "She... what?"
Hermione's expression chills quickly.
Hermione: "I don't think I should say any more. I've already said more than was needed."
Pansy: "Ooh! You've picked a Hell of a time to get wise. Fair enough. As we're still friends this afternoon, ask me something and I'll see if I can tell you the answer in trade."
Hermione considers for a moment.
Hermione: "I don't think I could find a single good question to ask. Rather, promise to tell me the truth today, as much as you can."
Pansy: "I promise I'll tell you what I can, but this won't be an interrogation. Mount your broom."
Hermione: "Wait, don't you want me to heal all the other... bruises and such. Your eye is swelling again."
Pansy: "No. Heal me today and they'll be back tomorrow. I'll bear through for the reprieve."
Hermione's face saddens as she starts to gaze off into the distance.
Hermione: "Abusers like it when you whimper."
Pansy: "What was that?"
Hermione shakes her head and turns to regard Pansy directly.
Hermione: "Something Holly told me once. She's almost frightening in how deeply she understands people's behavior."
Pansy: "Evans wasn't very understanding of your behavior."
Hermione's face darkens once more.
Hermione: "That's because I was acting insane. Pansy, someone... interfered with my mind, just when Holly most needed my help. Whatever they did is still affecting me."
Pansy: "And how do you know that?"
Hermione: "Because... I love Holly Evans, as a friend, a sister, a l-l-lover, and a hero. She is a hero, you know. But despite that, all I feel for her right now is relief that she's incarcerated, indifference to her situation and shame over my involvement with her."
Pansy: "That doesn't sound like you love her at all."
Hermione: "That's the problem! Intellectually I know I love her, but emotionally the thought of her touching me turns my stomach. What sort of spells can do that?"
Pansy: "I hate to break this to you Granger, but more than I can count. Love supposedly makes the world turn, so there's more magic to muck with it than anything else. Spells, runes, potions, plants, animal essences; I doubt anyone who says they're in love isn't under the influence of something. I'm thinking love is a myth, and I think... I may stop looking for it soon."
Hermione: "Soon, but not yet?"
Pansy: "Yes, well I have to find a replacement for it first. Desire for power just seems too obvious, too passé. I hate to follow fashion. Fashion should be following me. Perhaps I shall replace love as a fulfillment with the worship and adulation of others. That doesn't take power, just a keen fashion sense and a proper attitude of derisive dismissal. I might be able to claim a Mastery before the rest of you muddle through your OWLs."
Pansy sticks her chin into the air in an exaggerated simulation of a Paris fashion model's scowl. Pansy samples through several unattractively condescending poses until Hermione's growing giggles break her focus. Pansy and Hermione share a grin and both girls kick off from the ground and begin to circle the pitch.
Hermione: "Pansy. I'd like to thank you for talking to me about all this. Normally, someone like you would never even be seen with someone like me."
Pansy loses her grin as she gives Hermione a concerned look.
Pansy: "You know, your blood is just weaker, not infectious..."
Hermione: "No, I mean popular instead of bookish."
Pansy: "Not popular? Granger, if you stood in front of the Great Hall at dinner and spoke positively about Evans' actions, what do you think would happen?"
Hermione: "I'd be booed from the stage by the end of the first minute. Almost everyone thinks she's a madwoman."
Pansy: "Perhaps, except they'd allow you to finish as long as you kept it under a quarter-hour. Being popular doesn't mean everyone likes you, it means people pay attention to what you do and what you say. With Evans in prison, you are the most popular girl in this school! There isn't a student or teacher here who doesn't know who you are, and when you speak, they listen!"
Hermione looks intently at Pansy, shifting her broom so that they are facing each other.
Hermione: "Is that why you've been spending time with me? Wait! It is, but not because I'm someone you want to influence. The school knows that Holly protects me and that I know much of what she knows, which means I'm not to be trifled with. You associating with me affords you an umbrella of protection from harsher treatment by your Slytherin peers and begins to repair your reputation, allowing your own popularity to begin to show in a positive aspect!"
Pansy's grin returns with a clap of her hands, her broom held under control using her thighs.
Pansy: "Aha! I knew we could get you thinking like a Slytherin!"
Hermione's broom wobbles slightly as she tries to mimic Pansy's pose, causing her to snap her grip back onto the handle.
Hermione: "Well, pardon me for criticising but I don't think that there are many decent examples to draw upon, even in your own House!"
Pansy: "I'll concede that. Professor Snape tries, but I'd say barely a fifth of the other snakes follow what he's teaching."
Hermione: "Does he hold extra classes in your common room? We've often speculated..."
Pansy: "No, Granger. He teaches it every day in Potions and study halls. He teaches it every moment of his public life. The only other person who comes close to a better example of Slytherin values is... well I hate to say it..."
Hermione: "Holly?"
Pansy: "Merlin, no! That girl is a beast, though she is learning, or was. It's Professor Dumbledore. The man has inroads to every level of our society, and yet barely speaks his mind publicly except as a counter to true stupidity. Yet his values and his influence have been felt throughout our world since the fall of Grindelwald. It's something my father taught me. 'Don't fall for the image, little flower. Watch the actions. See the effects.' The Headmaster fairly sent Evans to Azkaban. There isn't a reason in the world he would have let that happen if he didn't wish it."
Hermione: "Do you think he might have been the one to have altered my mind?"
Pansy: "No. You wouldn't have noticed if he had done the work himself."
Hermione: "I think you're in love already!"
Pansy: "Pah! I admire his handiwork is all. But you're right, no one is infallible. I may still be falling for his image, just a different layer."
Hermione: "You almost sound as if you regret Holly's conviction."
Pansy: "It wasn't a conviction, it was a negotiated punishment. Evans had evidence that would have taken down the survivors but she didn't use it except to get a reduced charge."
Hermione: "Why would she do that? I can't believe that Holly would willingly go to Azkaban if she could avoid it!"
Pansy: "I know. I just don't understand it. It vexes me. I am terribly vexed."
Both girls float silently for a time, in thought.
Hermione: "I know why she did it! (Whoa!) I... I understand."
Pansy: "Well don't hold it in, Granger!"
Hermione: "She did it for you, Pansy. If she had used the evidence to free herself, your involvement in telling us about the Punishment Room would have been all over the papers. You would have been humiliated, and then... killed. She did it to save your life."
Pansy: "No... th-that's not it! You're wrong!"
Hermione: "I told you before; Holly may not like you but she stands up for things, particularly women. She chose prison to save your life."
Pansy: "No! Not for me! She can't... she..."
Pansy starts crying huge sobs. She shoots off to land on the ground and starts striding off the green. Hermione lands almost gracefully and runs to catch up as Pansy wipes away her tears and schools her expression into an angry glare.
Pansy: "Fuck off, Granger!"
Hermione: "Pansy, you're obviously not angry so much as embarrassed. If I'm your friend and you haven't any others, I can't see why you'd walk away from me now as I'm the least likely person to use this against you."
Pansy stops her strut and looks frustratedly at Hermione. Her head bows and she snaps back into an expression of distress. Hermione steps closer to reach her arm around Pansy's shoulders, giving the slight but taller girl a supportive squeeze.
Hermione: "You've stopped, so you see my point. Why are you so upset about this?"
Pansy: "Granger... Her-Hermione... my whole life I've been taught that no one but a fool would sacrifice for another, unless it's for family. Evans is no fool. She can't have done what you said! People aren't like that! No one... is... that..."
Hermione: "Heroic?"
Pansy attempts to forcefully shrug off Hermione's arm, but the Gryffindor holds tight to her.
Pansy: "Damn you!"
Hermione: "I'm not gloating! In fact I'm just realising what a fool I've been. I think I've lost her forever. There's no way she'll forgive me."
Hermione begins to squint to hold back tears.
Pansy: "Hermione, if Evans is all that you believe she is, then she will forgive you."
Hermione: "(snif) Why would you say that?"
Pansy: "Because I wouldn't... and you should be."
Pansy turns and embraces Hermione in a brief and awkward hug. As Pansy walks away sullenly, Hermione stands stunned. Her broom slips from her hand to land painfully on her left foot.
Hermione: "OW! Stop hurting!"
Hermione looked down at her foot, rotating it to test for pain or weakness.
Hermione: "Goodness! That actually worked."
Transcription ends.
I normally wouldn't share Hermione's personal moments like this, Mum. I just felt you should know how Hermione feels about... things.

~Newt~


*

23rd April, 1994

Minerva,
While in hindsight it may seem like James and Lily were destined to be together, from her writing I would say that Lily's involvement with Mr. Potter was a combination of affection and strategic planning. Lily saw great potential in the vacuous arse with the talent for Transfiguration pranks, but it took her two years of concentrated work to make the man realise that with a war on, there might be more important things to care about than humiliating people who didn't praise you. The fact that he actually changed is what impressed her. Lily had applied similar techniques at the same time to several other rising stars of her acquaintance, including Sirius and his brother Regulus, but James was one of the few that took her admonishments and guidance to heart. It's worth mentioning that all her candidates were from established Families. Perenelle's warnings and her own experiences with the goblins and Mr. Belby had taught her that you simply can't legally accomplish anything in the magical world without a clan backing you up. Her very survival in this world required her to bind her fate to a Pureblood. James fit the bill, had very little family left to exert influence over their marriage and was 'a dish with at least half a brain' besides. Lily's plan also gave her a safety net if Riddle were to fully succeed in his plans, as the Potter family name would protect her from immediate execution in a way the Evans name never would, even with her Charms Mastery. Her next best candidate was Frank Longbottom, and Lily's friendship with Alice wouldn't allow her to steal him from what was an obvious example of real love. In fact, she aided Alice's efforts in getting the man to defy his mother and marry young.
Lily was able to arrange her own early wedding as well, though she put off the bearing of Potter heirs by convincing James that his skills as an Auror should be proven before they brought another life into their war-torn world. Lily then was inducted into the Department of Mysteries, focusing on time research at first under the cover of independent study. She didn't share her breakthrough with the Gyro, as she preferred to leverage the advantage to trade out huge volumes of hidden research held in the D-of-M libraries. Lily's first professional work was a proposal for a technique and procedure in Auror investigation where an Auror could use a Time Turner and an Invisibility Cloak to observe crimes in process after the fact and use the collected data to ensure a proper conviction. Her superiors nearly killed her for the suggestion as it would leave no doubt of the truth of events, doubt the nobility needed to use as a loophole. This was one of the more obvious incidents where she was Obliviated and was able to recover her memories due to careful preparation. Following this disaster, she shifted her work to focus on warding techniques to protect her lab and personal research notes. This is when her work on Blood Wards was first developed. Lily indicated that the work was facilitated by experimentation on the Cloak and with notes on warding from the Potter Grimoire, a book I have not been able to find in her collection even though it is referenced several times in the research journals beginning after their wedding.
Lily was always able to spend time with James, because she set aside the 5 PM-to-midnight part of each day for him. Once he was asleep (natural or magical) she returned to her work. Lily even timed out her cycle so she wouldn't make James suffer from her more hormonal moods. How could he not stay in love with his perfect, supportive, mentally-balanced wife?
The missing Grimoire brings to mind that Perenelle's notebook somehow came back into her hands after Lily's death or she wouldn't have had it to send to me. As Lily had no other Pensieve, I can only assume that Perenelle came here after Lily died and recovered the notebook before sealing the Madhouse for my future needs. If so, then she may have also taken the Grimoire, and it might have been with the Flamels when they passed on. I think I'd like to go to France this summer, but I'll have to see if I can convince the Headmaster to tell me where the Flamels lived, or at least find out how their estate was handled. Then again, if the Flamels were as paranoid as described, their place is probably under the Fidelius as well, and who knows who they would trust as their Secret-Keeper?

Holly

*

Transcription: 24th April, 1994 starting 3:48 PM
Holly is sitting in the reading chair poring over one of Lily's journals. Newt is scribing notes on a piece of parchment on the Octogonagall table. Another parchment has been placed next to this, with an agate Sounding Stone set on top of it. Holly has recently modified the Stone so that it will play back the voice of the dialogue that Newt writes on the page in the voice of the speaker. Holly has configured the Stone so that Newt's voice comes out sounding much like Lily's. In this way they can have a conversation without Holly having to read Newt's writing.
Newt: 'Mum, I want to talk about last night.'
Holly: "Yes, but I don't."
The Sounding Stone begins to replay a conversation from the previous evening.
Holly's Voice: "Natalia, do you remember when we made love?"
Natalia's Voice: "Holly, we make love whenever we get within 3 meters of each other if there isn't food about."
Holly's Voice: "Natalia, we have sex. It's like aerobic exercises. I could run a marathon now so long as you were there to rub all my favorite parts every five minutes. We've made love once. It was at the end of our all-ways experience and I connected our senses for a bit. We were invoking the Bond of Lust and our Rapport just seemed to take us deeper."
Natalia's Voice: "Oh. Yeah. That was... intimate."

Holly: "What part of 'I don't want to talk about it' did you not follow?"
The replay pauses.
Newt: 'I am talking to you about this, Mum. Shut up and listen for once.'
Holly: "Fine. Make it quick."
Replay resumes.
Holly's Voice: "You seem bugged. Are you alright?"
Natalia's Voice: "Holly, sex for me is like... how I share happiness. What we shared at that moment made me feel very vulnerable."
Holly's Voice: "So you didn't like it. Alright, I won't bring it up again."
Natalia's Voice: "No, Holly, it was... look, if you say you're not in love with me then I don't know why you'd want to do that again. It's really private. Why do you want to go back and bring up all the nasty parts of me to see?"
Holly's Voice: "Natalia, I want you to understand me and I want to understand you. We stumbled over something then and I think that if we were to allow ourselves to really sink into it, we could know each other better than any couple married a hundred years."
Natalia's Voice: "Wow. Why would you want to do this with me, then?"
Holly's Voice: "Because I trust you, and because you're worth it."
Natalia's Voice: "I... think... you're bonkers but let's try it anyway."
Newt's Narration: The two girls began by lying facing each other on the bed, staring into each other’s eyes. Holly moves forward to kiss Natalia and their bodies intertwine gently, until they have as much skin-to-skin contact as possible. They lay this way for the rest of the evening, not quite asleep nor awake, each of them occasionally shifting slightly to refresh numbed nerves, usually causing a ten minute slow dance as they readjust their positions to once again achieve maximum contact. Both girls return to alertness at the same time with a gasp and lean back to look at the other. There is a sense of them both trying to readjust their perceptions to remind themselves of which one of them they really are. They move in tandem, rising to face each other in a kneeling position on the bed. Holly recovers first, giving a small smirk before speaking.
Holly's Voice: "Wow. I had no idea there were so many Auror procedures. Umm... Natalia, what's wrong?"
Natalia's Voice: "H-holly?"
Holly's Voice: "Yah?"
Newt's Narration: Natalia reaches both hands to hold Holly's face gently, as if it were a delicate egg. Tears stream down her face freely. Natalia lurches forward and kisses Holly tenderly, her lips sealing together with Holly's again and again. These are not lustful kisses, but they bear considerable passion.

Holly: "Good descriptions. You have a future in romance novels."
Newt: "Shush!"
Holly's Voice: "Na... (kiss) Nat... (kiss) Natalia (kiss) Natalia! What is wrong?"
Natalia's Voice: "I am so, so, so sorry. On behalf of every stupid motherfucker out there that has left you in charge of saving their sorry arses, I apologise, alright? And one... other thing."
Holly's Voice: "Wha... wow! Uhhh.... what's the other thing?"
Natalia's Voice: "I am absolutely in love with you."
Newt's Narration: Holly's eyes begin to tear up and her lips begin to moisten and pull back into a grimace of pain and anguish. Holly leans forward and kisses Natalia, leaving her quivering lips pressed against the Auror's for a nervous minute, her hand mimicking Natalia's in caressing the other girl's face.

Holly begins tearing up while listening to the replay.
Holly's Voice: "Oh, Natalia. (SOB) Obliviate!"
Newt's Narration: Holly looks down into her lap, her tears flowing down her face. She rolls her head back and forth in a loose loll of denial, never allowing her hand to leave the Auror's cheek. After a minute, she regains some measure of composure to look back into Natalia's spell-stunned face.
Holly's Voice: "You will remember everything up until you apologised on behalf of others. You decided that you couldn't... (SOB) couldn't confess your love to Holly so long as you're enthralled to her. You will not remember being Obliviated. We've been crying over the apology."
Newt's Narration: Holly finally releases her right hand from the side of Natalia's face, and the Auror blinks for a minute before fresh tears start to form as she sees Holly weeping great sobs in front of her.
Natalia's Voice: "Oh, Hols."
Holly's Voice: "Thank you, Natalia. You have no idea what that means to me. What you just said? That means the world to me."

Newt: 'Transcription ends. Mum, why did you do that?'
Holly: "Y'know, at some point I'm going to just leave you with Hermione if you keep asking rude questions and bringing up all my crimes and misdemeanors."
Newt: 'Mum, WHY DID YOU DO THAT? Natalia loves you! I think you love her, too! What are you thinking?!'
Holly: "Damnit, Newt, of course I love Natalia! I love her to pieces. I am quite completely over the moon in love with her. But at some point very soon, three things are likely to happen; I'll return to Hogwarts while she resumes Auror training, my adventures will put me in a position of ordering her into danger, and the prediction of Sybill's cards saying I'll lose my closest female companion will come due. Add to that the situation with Hermione's brain-scramble and I am completely fucked if I keep her close to me. I am star-crossed with everyone, Newt."
Newt: 'Mum, you have so many close female companions, including me, that I would be hard-pressed as Fate to choose which one to incinerate. But Mum, if it meant you could be happy with Natalia... I'd want it to be me.'
Holly: "You'd choose Natalia over Hermione?"
Newt: 'I'd choose your happiness over my life. That's all.'
Holly: "Oh, God Newt. Don't think like that. I love you. You are such a surprise and delight. Every time I turn around you're doing something that... well it makes being attacked by a Basilisk worth every broken bone and drop of poison, in my opinion. What can I do for you? How can I show you how much you mean to me?"
Newt: 'You just did. Mum, I have three wishes. I wish that you would get the love I think you deserve, fight and win against all your opponents and have more children to make a family for us.'
Holly: "Those are great wishes."
Newt: 'That was just the first one. The second wish is for us to find a way for all the magical and mundane beings to live together by some other motivator than fear.'
Holly: "I like that wish, too. What's the last one?"
Newt: 'I'd like to be published as the author Newt Evans.'
Holly: "That would be fantastic!"
Newt: 'I really think I have a flair for it.'
Holly: "You really do. I can just imagine it; an entire generation of witches raised on the erotic fantasies of Newt Evans."
Newt: 'You always say the nicest things.'
Holly: "Yes, I'm such a kind and gentle soul..."
Newt: 'OH GOD MUM YOU DIDN'T JUST SAY THAT!'
Holly's face freezes into a distant stare as the unlocked Obliviation of her experiences in the Slytherin Punishment Room flood through her mind.
Newt: 'MUM!'
[pause]
Newt: 'MUUUMMMMM!'
Holly continues to stare into space for several minutes, the only indication that she isn't petrified being the occasional tear streaming down her face.
Newt: 'Mummie?'
Holly's face relaxes slowly. Holly shakes her head gently and wipes away the tracks of salted dampness on her cheeks.
Holly: "Well, that was unexpe... BLOORGHHH!"
Holly's late breakfast makes a surprise return engagement onto the library rug. After spitting out the foul taste lingering in her mouth, Holly draws her ashwood holdout wand from a hidden holster on her upper arm.
Holly: "Ohhhh. Bad memories are like bad seafood- they taste worse coming back up. Evanesco."
Newt: 'Mum? How are you feeling?'
Holly: "I have a headache, but I'm glad it's done. (Oooh) I'm glad I know the truth, now."
Newt: 'What about Flint? How do you feel about that?'
Holly: "Righteous."
Newt: 'Really?'
Holly: "I am absolutely going to make Natalia scream in ecstasy tonight just to remind myself of the good I can do for others and afterwards I will sleep like a baby. I did God's will that day. I think I've been more terrified for what might have happened than of what did. Heh. 'Maybe two pounds'. Anyway, I'm happier knowing the truth of it."
Newt: 'So, don't you think Hermione and Natalia would feel the same?'
[pause]
Newt: 'Mum?'
Holly lifts her ashwood wand again and Banishes the sounding stone across the room, cutting off Newt's voice.
Holly: "You're going back to Hermione with the next letter."
Transcription ends.

Grandmum, Holly might not forgive me for posting this, but I'll take the grief. I think love and truth belong together. Please help her.

~Newt~


*

I am so going to find a way to hurt that inky little... daughter of mine.

Holly

*

8th May, 1994

Minerva,
Most of Lily's memory extracts were useful moments of insight or specifically important moments in her life- her wedding, my birth, meetings or confrontations with various people like Albus, Alice Longbottom, Bathilda, Damocles Belby, or her D-of-M controller (who is always obscured- another trick of her special Secrecy Charms- this person won't show in the memory until I find some other information to indicate who it is). One memory stands out though. It was just a moment for the family, talking on the sofa. Lily was listening to James describe some prank idea he wanted to pull on Remus but didn't know when next the wolf would make an appearance. Lily snuggled into her husband and held her baby close and you could tell she was just feeling love for James and for me with no other thought to complicate the moment. Lily really did love James- she wouldn't have saved the memory for herself if she didn't. The weird part is that when I snapped out of the memory I was crying, and I was Harry. Being in Lily's memory reminded me of the same moment from deep in my own memory, so maybe I became Harry to fit into it.

Holly

*

11th May, 1994

Minerva,
Yes, I'm ignoring your letters. If you don't want to hear about my love life then you don't get to comment on it. These days I try to keep any mention of sex and the like from the journal, as I know that you don't appreciate it. On this occasion, I have to speak of it because of what happened afterward. Natalia and I made love last night, in a way that was quite different from our usual gymnastic improvisations. Emotionally I let go, and she made me feel wonderful. I slept last night with her arms wrapped around me protectively and I had the best sleep I can ever remember, even better than the night when Hermione and I first became intimate. The next morning, I awoke as Harry. Just Harry. When Natalia asked me if I could still become Holly I replied, "I think so, and this may sound really odd, but I think she's... still asleep."
We called Dobby and he greeted me as 'the Great Harry Potter, sir', though he acted as if I've been here all along. After reverting to Holly and back to Harry, I could tell that there was a difference in my mind, and Dobby was calling me Mistress Holly again despite the plumbing.
Yin and Yang. Natalia says I'm of two minds but one set of memories. She also says that Scarpin's always indicated a different magical signature whenever I'm Harry instead of Holly; this is a feat unprecedented in her knowledge, even by Animagi or Metamorphs. I don't know much more than that.
Except that I think I need to get a better wand for when I'm Holly.

Lily's Child

*

13th May, 1994

Minerva,
In December of 1980 Albus approached the Potters about a prophesy related to their child that made him urge them to retreat from the conflict to protect me; not getting enough detail from Dumbledore, Lily went through the Department of Mysteries and found the partly-labeled prophesy but couldn't take it for research. Over the next few months she tracked down the seer who had made the prophesy, Sybill Trelawney. Sybill had been recently hired as Divination instructor at Hogwarts, so in June of 1981 Lily interviewed her privately away from the castle. Despite extreme precautions laid upon Sybill's mind to prevent her from recounting the prophesy (and that has had a dreadful effect on her ability to speak clearly ever since), Lily discerned that a child born at the time I was would be the fulcrum on which the world was saved or destroyed. Since this covered a span of a week, many children across the globe were possible candidates but only two were well-known to be progeny of people in the thick of this conflict- me and Neville. Lily also found out that her child would not live long if she did. More specifically- 'Only one will survive the year; either the child or the mother will fall to your betrayer's master.'
Presented with this conundrum, Lily contacted her trusted resources. The one she referred to as the Old Man brought Lily his research into a special ward called the Glyph of Weeping that might provide a defense against the Killing Curse, warning that it required a willing sacrifice- a life for a life. Lily took his research and dove back into Turning until she found a way to modify the Glyph of Weeping to not just use her life but her soul to protect her child. The original was limited, you see, to a single opponent, and Lily felt it would be too risky to throw her life away on the hope that Riddle would be the only one to try to kill her child. It would be worse if someone else tried it first, as her sacrifice wouldn't even take out the opposing king. The result of her research was the Soul-Protecting Evans Ward. You may be familiar with it; it's inscribed on my forehead, across the Ajna (third eye) chakra. Lucky break, that, as Lily had no background in Eastern theories of magic.
This brings up a question that seems very relevant right now; why did you and Albus decide to call me 'Holly'? Were you simply following the Evans' habit of naming girls after flowers, or was there another more specific reason? If Albus did the naming, he may have known more about the circumstances of my survival than he has let on. Because you see, with Lily's soul protecting Harry's life, we finally have a reason for my delightful transmutation. Holly = Harry + Lily. Talk about living on through your children!
By the way, with all the Turning Lily did while raising me, I was already two years old by the night Riddle fufilled destiny. I suppose since neither you nor Albus had been around toddlers much in recent years, you couldn't tell that I didn't need to be accelerated with your Incubation Bath and language skills memory transfer. It's alright. I don't mind being short (IB stunts long term growth as Newt can attest), and the leg up on reading helped me compensate for when Dudley's abuses prevented me from doing my homework.

Holly

*

16th May, 1994
Albus named me Holly because Ollivander made me a wand? If the subject comes up, you might mention that Evans girls are usually named after flowers, not prickly bushes, my Great Aunt Rose notwithstanding. Besides, the wand works better for Harry. What, if things went differently I would've been Hawthorne? Yew? There's a nightmare on the playground- 'Hey, Yew!'
Never mind.
Time has caught up with me again, and my life is about to return to a more task-driven churn, because lives and justice are at risk. I don't have a plan yet, but I need to take action. I'll catch you up on my thinking with the end of Lily's journals.
On my first official birthday (I was probably 18 months of chrono-age at this point), Lily set up the arrangements to protect Harry's rights to 106 Matchstick Court and set aside her emergency Bearer's Bond in her strong box. Bathilda Bagshot attended the celebration with Lily, James and of course, me. Most of their friends had collected two days previous at the Longbottoms for a shared party. Riddle and his crew confronted both families and was rebuked under their combination of expert spellfire and careful preparation of an unlicensed Portkey.
As October progressed in Lily's mind like an approaching bridge over a chasm with the struts wired to explode, Albus offered to teach 'his special Fidelius Charm' to protect the Potter's and Longbottom's families. Professor Flitwick actually sent the materials to Lily as it was his research into unusual protection Charms that uncovered the magic. Professor Flitwick was stuck in classwork and Lily wanted to understand the Charm and was unwilling to have Albus simply cast it for them, so Filius just sent her the notes. By contrast, the Longbottoms refused to hide at all (both being Aurors, they felt it would be abandoning their fellow warriors) and James kept running out to work with Sirius rather than stay hidden.
On October 24th, while James and Sirius were out trying unsuccessfully to defend the McKinnons, Lily cast the Fidelius on their muggle-style home. Wormtail was made the secret keeper because Lily needed to get the Ward placed and he was the only one around with sufficient language skills other than Lily herself, and you can't be the Secret-Keeper of the place you own. Lily sent their owl Jasper to James with a message to call for her when he was done fighting and couldn't remember where he lived- that was her humour at work. With nothing much more to do but wait, Lily and Peter sat down for afternoon tea. Peter quickly ran out of light-hearted topics to discuss and so tried to reassure Lily that he would be the best possible Secret-Keeper, as he could properly defend his mind unlike James and Sirius. With his proud assent, Lily took a swipe at his mind with Legilimency. At first, Lily was relieved and impressed with Wormtail's Occlumency barrier despite his Animagus training (and historical lack of mental fortitude). Two cups of tea later, Lily stunned and bound the hapless rat and broke through his barrier to witness the memories of his indoctrination into Riddle's cult. Pettigrew was a Death Eater! Lily dragged his arse back to the Madhouse and for the next few days under the Time Gyro (7 hours real time) Lily made copious notes of what she plundered from his mind and learned from inspecting his Mark. She identified him in her journals as an anonymous source as much of the work was being forwarded to the Dept. of Mysteries as tactical/strategic intelligence, and even they couldn't claim perfect security. At the end though, Lily figured that her only choice was to let things proceed as she believed they had to. Up until she discovered that they had a betrayer, Lily was holding out hope that the prophesies and predictions weren't worth the breath that spoke them, but now that she had the missing link in her hands, Lily felt that there was no reason to question the inevitability of it.
Lily Obliviated Wormtail of her discovery of his betrayal and allowed him to proceed to act as Secret-Keeper for their house at Matchstick Court. James and Sirius were overwhelmed by her innovative deception (when they finally returned the next morning from a bender in honour of the fallen McKinnons), saying that most anyone who even found out about the Fidelius would never consider Peter to be their Secret-Keeper as Sirius was obviously their closest, most trusted friend. Lily cast the Fidelius on this lab with James' cooperation, only this time she was the Secret-Keeper (Lily wasn't considered an owner of the ancestral Potter land though any legitimate child with James would be upon his death). She told the secret to Perenelle in a letter and embedded a memory of telling me deep in my brain, concealed by Obliviation but sustained by the magic of the Fidelius. And then she waited, puttering around in analysing the information she had gleaned from Wormtail and making love to James every night passionately as Lily knew that their time was almost over.
Lily knew.
She knew Riddle was coming, she knew Wormtail would lead him to them, and Lily knew if she sacrificed herself as she had prepared, Riddle would be defeated when he tried to kill me with his signature spell, the Killing Curse. Lily didn't think Riddle would survive as a spirit. She didn't expect Wormtail to escape, as the resulting explosion was likely to destroy the house and surrounds. Lily wasn't even sure I would live.
Sirius Black had nothing to do with it. Wormtail was her anonymous source on Death Eater activities and he never revealed anything about Sirius being one as well, unlike Severus Snape who Wormtail did see in Riddle's employ, even his good graces. That revelation was particularly heartbreaking for Lily, though she admitted that it seemed obvious upon reflection. Without her influence, all Severus would see was a harsh world. Lucius Malfoy was also a high-ranking Death Eater, but that hardly seems surprising, does it?

Natalia is sneaking me back into Azkaban tomorrow, and in six days' time I will be released. Please try to find Sirius Black without hurting him. Tell Moony what I've found, but don't let Albus know what we know and most especially why we know it. Avoid any contact with Professor Snape. Soon it'll be time for me to face some nightmares and untangle some lies. Unfortunately, I have to focus on something else first: I have to re-enter Acheron and kill my daughter.

Holly

*

Author's Note- additional magic:
The Fidelius Charm (Spiral-verse version): a complicated Charm/Ward enacted by the owner of a building or other structure, hiding its existence in the trust of another. The power of the magic is built upon the bond of trust between the owner and the Secret-Keeper. During the casting (done by owner, Keeper or a third party), the Secret-Keeper's magic becomes the stronghold for the property's location, so a magically strong Secret-Keeper makes for more comprehensive protection. Only the Secret-Keeper can share the knowledge of the location with others. Even though the owner and caster are present at the time of casting and are therefore also 'in the know', they cannot share the secret. If the Secret-Keeper is killed (by someone other than the owner), all those 'in the know' become Secret-Keepers as well. While this may seem an optimal situation (the protection is stronger with more magic supporting it) the likelihood of betrayal becomes more likely. The Fidelius can be broken by the owner of the property, either on purpose with a ritual at the property or by becoming the only Secret-Keeper (there is no trust if you keep a secret to yourself). It also can be broken if the structure itself becomes damaged beyond the value of its function. One cannot apply the Fidelius to a monument, as its purpose (to remind others of something historic) would be undermined by the Charm.
It is worth noting that the Secret cannot be pulled from a mind through Legilimency, but the existence of the Secret can be. (Wormtail could never be Imperio'd, Compelled or otherwise magically forced to reveal the Secret, but good old-fashioned torture would work fine.) Usually a pseudonym is agreed upon at the time of casting, so that those 'in the know' can use a common expression to refer to the protected location without letting slip the actual Secret. This is not part of the spell, just a good protocol to follow.
In Holly's circumstance, she and Perenelle became Secret-Keepers for the Madhouse when James and Lily died, and Holly shared the Secret with Natalia, Dobby and Minerva soon after she discovered the place. Logically astute readers will note that there still must be another Secret-Keeper for the Madhouse alive, or the Fidelius would have broken when Holly became the sole Keeper and owner upon Perenelle's death. Magically speaking, the Notts are squatters on Potter Manor, so no evidence of a Fidelius came to their attention. If there had been a proper transfer of ownership the Nott Patriarch would have become aware that some of this property was hidden, but would need the curse-breakers to come out and liberate the land from the Charm. Harry was told the Secret by Wormtail for the house at 106 Matchstick Court, but the Fidelius was broken when the house was sundered by the explosion that destroyed Riddle's body. It stopped being a house when it no longer had a roof to provide shelter.

Rigor Tergum: Hermione's replacement for Petrificus Totalus. Translates as 'Stiffen Flesh'. Holly asked her to come up with it as she felt the Petrifying Charm was 'tactically inconvenient to pronounce'. It's faster to say (or think) but slower to take effect as it spreads across the body from the point of impact rather than petrifying the target instantly.
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