FicWad

The next morning Willow woke to find herself wrapped in Gerard’s arms. For a brief moment memories from last night filled her mind. She remembered him coming back into the bathroom later as the water was beginning to cool. She remembered him extending his had to help her from the tub and how he’d gently dried her body without saying a word. Then he had led her to the bed where they’d crawled in together and he’d pulled her close.
Willow smiled when she realized he was gazing at her. “Oh my, you were watching me sleep.”
He nodded, “Yeah, you were smiling in your sleep. I was wondering what you were dreaming about that made you smile that much.”
Willow blushed.
“Care to share?’ He teased.
“Uh, I don’t think so.” Willow looked down.
His fingers shot out to tilt her face to his. “Tell me.” He urged gently.
She couldn’t tell him the truth. Still she had to tell him something that wasn’t a complete lie. “I was dreaming of you and I together. Uh, you know.”
He loved how she looked embarrassed. “You’re so fuckin’ cute when you blush.” He laughed. “I guess when you say together you mean we were having sex?”
There is was again. With him it was always having sex. For her that had changed long ago. She nodded not meeting his eyes.
“Look about last night.” Gerard wanted to clear he air. “I’m sorry I treated you like that. But I want you to understand what happened with Jessica.”
“You don’t owe me an explanation.” Willow whispered.
“Yeah, I think I do.” He sat up in the bed and reached over for his cigarettes. He lit one first then continued. “Like I told you last night I was so fuckin hard sitting there next to you at dinner I couldn’t think. Well that’s not quite true. I could think but it was just about getting you back here.” He reached over and stroked her bare arm. “Yeah, I could definitely think about that.” He made sure to keep touching her so she could only hear what he wanted her to hear. “Anyway when Jessica showed up I stupidly thought I owed it to her to see what she wanted to talk to me about.”
Willow stretched but ended up flinching in pain. Gerard saw it happen.
“You’re sore and I’m sorry.”
She sat up and leaned back against the headboard. “I was the one you told you to do it.”
“You were pushed into it. You were angry about Jessica.”
So he did understand that Willow thought. “That’s true. Please continue what you were telling me about last night.” She really did want to hear what had happened and the fact that he was sharing it with her seemed like a good sign.
He took a deep drag then continued, “Anyway I was pissed when you tried to use this feeling between us to keep me from talking to her.”
Willow sighed. “It was wrong of me but you hit a nerve. I was jealous of her. Especially since I knew the last time with her you…” She didn’t want to say it.
He nodded, “Yeah, well I get that. But the way you did that was like you were using what we have to control me and it pissed me off.”
“I’m sorry.” Willow murmured.
He thought a moment. “I just didn’t want you to do that to me. I don’t ever want any woman to control me again.”
Willow realized what she had done had caused a lot of damage. She didn’t know what to say to him.
“Look.” Gerard snuffed out the cigarette and turned to her. He took her hands in his. “I said I’d never trust another woman and yet I want to trust you. I don’t want to think you’d use what we have to control me, you understand?”
Willow nodded, “I understand and I really am sorry.”
His fingers caressed her hands. “So after you left I sat down with her and asked her what she wanted to talk to me about.” He looked into Willow’s eyes, “You knew what she wanted all along, right?”
Willow nodded, “Oh yeah I knew. Her thoughts were loud.”
“So how did she know where to find me?”
Willow had been hoping he wouldn’t ask. She didn’t want to lie to him and yet she didn’t want to tell him that his friend had been the one who’d told Jessica. She looked down at their clasped hands and sighed.
“Tell me, Willow.” He urged.
“Can’t I just say I don’t know?”
He laughed gently, “Not if you are trying to be honest with me.”
“Bob told her.” She whispered.
“Bob?’ Gerard looked clearly confused. “Why the fuck would he do that?”
“That one I really don’t know.” Willow said looking back up. “All I got from Jessica’s thoughts was she was glad her friendship with Bob had paid off cause he’d told her where we were going for dinner.”
“Son of a bitch.” Gerard muttered. “It will be interesting to see what he has to say about it.”
“But if you ask him then he’ll know I told you.” Willow said worriedly.
“I could tell him Jessica told me.” Gerard said thinking out loud.
“Then you’ll be lying. Just wait and let me see if he says anything to me about it. Last night he was having very guilty thoughts about tell her.”
“Alright.” He agreed still feeling angry at Bob but deciding to go along with Willows wishes.
“So you went to her room?’ Willow said softly returning to the original conversation.
He sighed, “At first we just talked. She told me about a new job she’s been offered. Then she told me that she was staying at the hotel across the road and that she wanted to show me a new apartment complex on the Net that she’s thinking of moving to. Okay maybe I knew she was trying to get me alone but I was still angry at you so I went.”
“And then she made her move.” Willow said knowingly.
Gerard laughed, “Yeah, you could say that. As soon as the hotel door closed she made it apparent what she wanted.”
Willow could imagine the scene.
This part of the story was hard for him to tell so he reached over and lit another cigarette. “Anyway, let’s just say she can be very persuasive and she can be very bitchy when she doesn’t get her own way.”
“She was mad?”
He blew out a stream of smoke and laughed, “Yeah, she was pissed. Especially when I said I had to get back here because you were waiting for me.”
Willow smiled, “You told her that?”
He nodded, “Yeah, I told her that. At first she was just pissed off. She reminded me of how I’ve always told her I’d never get emotionally involved with anyone again. Then she accused me of using her.”
Willow said nothing.
“I never used her. She knew exactly what kind of relationship we had. We used each other simple as that.”
“Did you tell her that?” Willow asked softly.
He took another drag. “Oh fuck yeah I did. You know she was always okay with it. We both saw other people so I didn’t understand why she was so upset about you.”
His words hurt. He was making it sound like she was just another fling that would soon pass. Of course that’s what she was and that truth cut her deep. She started to move off the bed but his hand tightened. “Willow, I know what you’re thinking and we need to talk about that but first I want to tell you what else happened.”
She sighed, “You don’t know what I’m thinking, Gee.”
“Bet I do.” He said tightening his grip on her hands. “But know this now, things have changed. I’m not using you, Willow.”
“Because we made an agreement before this started.” She whispered.
“That’s not what I mean, damn it.” He said growing angry, “Look we need to discuss our relationship. You know that as well as I do but we have time.”
Willow wasn’t sure she wanted to hear what he thought about their relationship. She was afraid it would break her heart. “What else happened?’ she asked changing the subject.
He sighed but went along with her. In his mind he was thinking it was for the best. He still had some more things to think about before telling her his idea. “Jessica was really pissed. I guess when she realized she wasn’t gonna get what she wanted she lost it. She suddenly changed tactics and told me she love me. She tried to get me to believe that she was so upset because she was afraid of losing me.”
“And you didn’t believe she was in love with you?’ Willow asked.
He looked into her eyes, “No, I didn’t and I wasn’t wrong, was I?’
“That’s unfair to ask me.” Willow said sadly, “Just because I can hear someone’s thoughts doesn’t mean I know what’s in their hearts.”
He shook his head, “That’s a cop out. You know fuckin good and well that you can tell what a person is feeling by listening to their thoughts. You have known all along Jessica was using me. She never fuckin’ loved me.”
Willow could see the anger in his eyes, “And it pissed you off for her to lie to you like that?”
“Fuck yeah, it did. I’ve been lied to about that enough times. I don’t want anything to do with that lying bitch ever again.” The anger was coming off him in waves.
“Gee, I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry she lied to you like that.” Willow pulled her hand out of his and gently touched his face.
Her touch warmed her cheek. For a moment he closed his eyes and wished he could truly believe in love. A knock on the door broke the moment.
“Yeah?” He yelled out.
“Uh, I need to talk to Willow.” Mikey said nervously.
Gerard got out of bed, pulled on his pajama pants then handed Willow her robe. Once she had it on he opened the door to see his brother looking very upset. “What’s up?”
Mikey looked past him to Willow who had taken a seat on the bed. “I saw her again. You know, Martha?”
Willow got up and crossed over to the door. “What happened?”
He leaned against the doorjamb. “I tried to clear my mind like you said but nothing happened. She just stood there staring at me. So I told her that I’d seen her daughter.” It was obvious by his facial expressions that doing that hadn’t been a good idea.
“What do you mean you told her?” Gerard asked, “You mean you talked to her out loud?”
Mikey was obviously upset by that question. “Yeah, Gee I did. I stood there looking like an idiot talking to myself because on one else could see her.”
Willow tried to defuse the situation. “Don’t worry about that.”
Gerard wouldn’t let it go. “Well he should. Who was around? Any of the staff cause I know they are supposed to be here today.”
“Yeah a couple of the staff were in the room cleaning.” Mikey admitted. “But I couldn’t pass up the chance to try to talk to her.”
Gerard groaned causing Willow’s temper to snap.
“He tried to talk to her can’t you understand that?” She glared at Gerard.
“And now it’s probably gonna get around that he’s cracking up again. Standing around talking to people who aren’t there.” Gerard shot back.
“But she was there, Gee.” Mikey said “Please understand.”
“What happened when you told her about her daughter?” Willow asked trying to distract Mikey from trying to get her brothers approval.
“She looked really angry.” Mikey whispered.
“But you got no images from her?’ Willow asked.
He shook his head sadly, “No, nothing. What am I gonna do? I want to help her. I want to help that little girl.”
“Maybe there is nothing you can do.” Gerard said.
Once again Willow ignored him. “We’ll find a way.” She said looking into Mikey’s eyes.
He wanted to believe her. “Promise?”
She nodded, “We’ll do everything we can.”
Gerard watched the interaction between them with a frown on his face. He knew Willow was trying to help his brother but what if she was just getting his hopes up for nothing? It could crush him.
“I’ll get dressed and you can show me where she was.” Willow said.
Mikey nodded, “Yeah, okay. I’ll be in my room. Just knock when you’re ready to go downstairs.” He turned and headed down the hallway to his room. Gerard stepped back into the room as Willow grabbed the door to push it closed. A movement out of the corner of her eyes caused her to stop. There at the end of the hall was the little girl. Willow started to move out into the hallway but she disappeared.