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Gerard P.O.V
I don't hate you."
Of course I didn't hate her. I've never hated her. I just said those things to her because I needed to move on.
"I don't hate you." I said again.
I knew she couldn't hear me. She was in a coma after all.
Lauren tried to kill herself after our fight. She was aiming for her heart but she got her stomach, hard, after me, Lyn-z, Mikey and Alicia tried to get the knife off her.
I was the only one in her room at the hospital. Talking to her. Telling her things I wanted her to know but didn't have the guts to say. I knew she couldn't hear me so I said them now.
"I'm really sorry Lauren. For everything. I didn't mean to hurt you, honest to god I didn't. And like you said, I have no reason to hate you. I don't, really I don't, I never have." By now I was crying and that's when I realised something.
"Actually I can't belive I'm saying this, but --"
"Gerard?" I was cut off by the sound of my brothers voice.
"Yeah Mikey, in here."
He came in and sat next to me.
"Dude, you look like shit, why are you still here?"
"Because, Mikey, I'm the reason she's here. I can't leave. I hurt her bad. If I go she'll think I hate her."
"Dude, she already thinks that. You know why? Because that's what you said to her."
"Yeah, but I didn't mean it did I?"
"She didn't know that! She thinks you hate her Gerard. You made her think she was like her mother! How could you say that to her? You already hurt her and then you upset her even more by saying she's like her mother!"
"Okay, Mikey, I shouldn't of said that I know that now. I just want her to know that I'm sorry for everything..." I started crying again. I didn't want to cry in front of my little brother.
There was a moment of silence before it was broken by Mikey.
"You still love her don't you?"
"Don't be ridiculous Mikey, of course I don't, I love Lyn-z, my wife!"
"Whatever, cover it up all you want, you still love her."

When I got back home, Helena greeted me.
"Hi, daddy!"
"Erm...hey." I walked past her. I'm not used to the whole "daddy" thing yet. I didn't know what to do when Helena or James spoke to me. I did try. I tried to be a dad, but can't.
I can't call Helena "sweetie" or I can't call James "honey". I can't call them anything. They don't feel like they're mine even though I've seen James's eyes. They're exactly like mine. Helena's on the other hand were the same blue as her mom's. The same blue eyes I fell in love with six years ago.
"Hey, baby where were you last night you didn't come home?"
Now I had Lyn-z to deal with.
"I was at the hospital. Checking up on Lauren, she if was any better."
"So you were there the whole night!?"
"Yeah. It's my fault she's there."
"No it's not Gerard. Stop blaming yourself for what she did. It's been six years and it's obvious she's not over you. It was her choice to try kill herself. She's obviously feeling bad about not telling you about her children. So she's punishing herself."
She was right. But I still couldn't help feeling responsible for it.