Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > You Told Me This Gets Harder
The next morning...
I woke up in bed. Helena and James weren't asleep. I guessed that they were already awake. I sat up and saw I was wearing the same clothes as I was yesterday, my shirt ripped. Then I remembered what happened.
Me and Gerard nearly had sex. Then I told him I still loved him. And I made him feel used. I felt horrible.
If you asked me that ten minutes ago...I would of said yes. Now I just feel used.
That's right he did say that. He did still love me, but I'm sure that he hates me now and would rather I was dead. He had every right to feel that way.
What I did to him was far worse than what he did to me.
I stood up and changed my clothes. Today I wasn't going to wear a skirt. I settled for a black pair of fitted jeans.
I slowly walked out my room, making sure I didn't bump into Gerard, but luck isn't always on my side and I did bump into someone.
I looked at the floor. "Sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going." My voice a little shaky. I guess it was because I was crying all night. I looked up and to my suprise, it was Gerard.
He stared at me with absolute hate. "No. You weren't." Then he walked off. I burst out crying again. There was no way I could stop it this time. I just cryed and slid down to the floor and buried my head in my knees. I was saying sorry in my head, but I didn't realise that I was saying it out loud as well. "I'm...sorry. I'm sorry! I'M SORRY!" I was getting louder and after a while I stopped and carried on crying until I fell asleep on the floor.
Gerard P.O.V
I hate love her. I don't care that she used me. I love her. I got to be so close to her. She told me she still loved me, but I didn't say it back. I couldn't. After she said she couldn't be with me, my love for her turned to hate until I closed that door.
When I saw her this morning, I just wanted to hold her and kiss her again. But I couldn't. I couldn't even bring myself to say sorry for I said. Instead I just said "No. You weren't." After she bumped into me.
I walked past her into the bathroom and heard her start to cry. I felt so bad. Then she started saying something. I couldn't quite hear her at first but then she got louder. I stood by the door watching her. "I'm sorry! I'M SORRY!" She yelled. There was nobody else in the house, not even Lyn-z, so nobody could hear her but me. It broke my heart seeing her like that. I hated myself for being so horrible to her.
I went back into the bathroom and sat on the floor and fell asleep.
Lauren P.O.V
I woke up a few hours later back in bed. Was it a dream? I sat up and my face was wet and my clothes were different to yesterday. No it wasn't a dream. But how did I get in bed if I was outside of my room?
I went downstairs and it was empty. There was no-one there. There was a note on counter in the kitchen.
Hey Lauren.
We've all gone out. Taken kids with us. Hope you don't mind =]
Love you loads, Frankie xoxo
So that's where everyone's gone. I wondered where Helena and James were. I smiled.
I turned round and saw someone standing behind me about five foot away. "AHHHH!" I screamed.
I looked again, and it was Gerard. Out of everybody in the world it had to be him alone with me again.
"Did you sleep well?" He asked.
"I've...slept better." I answered. "Did you move me, back to my room?"
He nodded. "I didn't want to leave you where you were."
"Why? After what happened yesterday, I wouldn't be suprised if you hurt me."
"I would never hurt you again Lauren. I've already said that. Oh and just so you know, I don't hate you."
"You don't?" He shook his head. "I don't."
"Why? I was horrible to you."
"You had every right to use me."
"I didn't use you --"
"It's okay to say you did. I won't be mad."
"No. Gerard, I didn't use you. If Frank hadn't caught us, we would of had sex and I would of been happy. Actually scratch that, I would of been over the moon."
"Really?" I nodded.
"Like I said yesterday, I still love you. I always have. But now I know you don't feel the same. That's cool." I then walked out of the kitchen and into the living room.
Gerard followed me. I sat down and he sat next to me. As I was getting comfortable, Gerard pulled me close to him and hugged me. I happily hugged back.
"What's this for?"
"No reason." And we fell asleep in each others arms.
Lyn-z P.O.V
I suppose I had a good day out. I was still mad at Gerard, so it was good to get out.
Everyone was being weird though. It's like they knew something that I didn't. I hated it.
When we got back, I went to the kitchen to get a diet coke, and headed to the living room, but Jamia stopped me.
"Hey Lyn-z where you going?"
"To the living room, why?"
"How about we go somewhere else yeah?"
I looked at her weird before pushing past her into the living room to see her asleep on my husband.
I woke up in bed. Helena and James weren't asleep. I guessed that they were already awake. I sat up and saw I was wearing the same clothes as I was yesterday, my shirt ripped. Then I remembered what happened.
Me and Gerard nearly had sex. Then I told him I still loved him. And I made him feel used. I felt horrible.
If you asked me that ten minutes ago...I would of said yes. Now I just feel used.
That's right he did say that. He did still love me, but I'm sure that he hates me now and would rather I was dead. He had every right to feel that way.
What I did to him was far worse than what he did to me.
I stood up and changed my clothes. Today I wasn't going to wear a skirt. I settled for a black pair of fitted jeans.
I slowly walked out my room, making sure I didn't bump into Gerard, but luck isn't always on my side and I did bump into someone.
I looked at the floor. "Sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going." My voice a little shaky. I guess it was because I was crying all night. I looked up and to my suprise, it was Gerard.
He stared at me with absolute hate. "No. You weren't." Then he walked off. I burst out crying again. There was no way I could stop it this time. I just cryed and slid down to the floor and buried my head in my knees. I was saying sorry in my head, but I didn't realise that I was saying it out loud as well. "I'm...sorry. I'm sorry! I'M SORRY!" I was getting louder and after a while I stopped and carried on crying until I fell asleep on the floor.
Gerard P.O.V
I hate love her. I don't care that she used me. I love her. I got to be so close to her. She told me she still loved me, but I didn't say it back. I couldn't. After she said she couldn't be with me, my love for her turned to hate until I closed that door.
When I saw her this morning, I just wanted to hold her and kiss her again. But I couldn't. I couldn't even bring myself to say sorry for I said. Instead I just said "No. You weren't." After she bumped into me.
I walked past her into the bathroom and heard her start to cry. I felt so bad. Then she started saying something. I couldn't quite hear her at first but then she got louder. I stood by the door watching her. "I'm sorry! I'M SORRY!" She yelled. There was nobody else in the house, not even Lyn-z, so nobody could hear her but me. It broke my heart seeing her like that. I hated myself for being so horrible to her.
I went back into the bathroom and sat on the floor and fell asleep.
Lauren P.O.V
I woke up a few hours later back in bed. Was it a dream? I sat up and my face was wet and my clothes were different to yesterday. No it wasn't a dream. But how did I get in bed if I was outside of my room?
I went downstairs and it was empty. There was no-one there. There was a note on counter in the kitchen.
Hey Lauren.
We've all gone out. Taken kids with us. Hope you don't mind =]
Love you loads, Frankie xoxo
So that's where everyone's gone. I wondered where Helena and James were. I smiled.
I turned round and saw someone standing behind me about five foot away. "AHHHH!" I screamed.
I looked again, and it was Gerard. Out of everybody in the world it had to be him alone with me again.
"Did you sleep well?" He asked.
"I've...slept better." I answered. "Did you move me, back to my room?"
He nodded. "I didn't want to leave you where you were."
"Why? After what happened yesterday, I wouldn't be suprised if you hurt me."
"I would never hurt you again Lauren. I've already said that. Oh and just so you know, I don't hate you."
"You don't?" He shook his head. "I don't."
"Why? I was horrible to you."
"You had every right to use me."
"I didn't use you --"
"It's okay to say you did. I won't be mad."
"No. Gerard, I didn't use you. If Frank hadn't caught us, we would of had sex and I would of been happy. Actually scratch that, I would of been over the moon."
"Really?" I nodded.
"Like I said yesterday, I still love you. I always have. But now I know you don't feel the same. That's cool." I then walked out of the kitchen and into the living room.
Gerard followed me. I sat down and he sat next to me. As I was getting comfortable, Gerard pulled me close to him and hugged me. I happily hugged back.
"What's this for?"
"No reason." And we fell asleep in each others arms.
Lyn-z P.O.V
I suppose I had a good day out. I was still mad at Gerard, so it was good to get out.
Everyone was being weird though. It's like they knew something that I didn't. I hated it.
When we got back, I went to the kitchen to get a diet coke, and headed to the living room, but Jamia stopped me.
"Hey Lyn-z where you going?"
"To the living room, why?"
"How about we go somewhere else yeah?"
I looked at her weird before pushing past her into the living room to see her asleep on my husband.
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