Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Loving You Only Hurts Me More
"Dad?" I called out when I walked through the front door.
At first, there was nothing but silence. I was about to call out again when I heard footsteps coming down the large staircase, "Lizzy?" His voice sounded so happy. I hadn't talked to him in over a month. I'm sure he missed his little girl.
When she stopped at the foot of the stairs, looking at me with pleading eyes, I knew it was the right choice by forgiving him. How could I not? He had done nothing wrong really. He didn't know my mom was going to die that night.
I felt my eyes well up with tears, and I ran to him, wrapping my arms around him. I had missed him so much, "I'm so sorry dad." I sobbed into his chest.
I didn't understand why I was so emotional. Maybe it was because I believed that I wouldn't talk to my dad for the rest of my life. Maybe it had something to do with the stupid fight me and Frank just had. Or maybe I was just PMSing. Whatever it was, made me cry like a little baby.
I felt him shake his head, then kiss the top of it, "No, I'm sorry honey. This is all my fault, I should have told you a long time ago."
"Yeah you should have." I agreed.
He hugged me tighter, "I'm so sorry little Lizzy. I never meant to hurt you. You gotta know that."
I nodded. I hoped everything would be okay now.
**
When I had calmed down, I let my dad take me to the living room where we would talk about things. I didn't really care what we talked about, so long as we were talking.
"How are you feeling?" He asked me when I had wiped away the remanding tears.
I smiled, "I'm fine now thank you."
He took hold of my hand, "Is there anything you wanna know?"
I thought about it for a moment and answered, "I...I just wanna know why you did it. I mean, I thought you and mom were happy."
Dad sighed before answering, "Honey you have to understand that I loved your mother very much, right until the very end. She meant the world to me, and still does. We were high school sweet hearts, and married very early. When I met Shania, she was very different. Younger, and different. I was a man stuck in the same routine, but I loved that. Shania was...there though. Truth was, I was in love with two people."
I listened closer as he kept talking, "Of course, I loved your mother much more than I loved Shania. I always will. I didn't want to hurt her, but I knew the longer I stayed with Shan, the more hurt it would cause. But I couldn't bring myself to end it because I was always asking myself will Shania tell my wife about us? I didn't want to risk that. I'm sorry, I am a bad person, and I understand you not talking to me, but it hurt. I've already lost the woman I truely loved...I don't want to lose my only daughter too."
I shook my head, "You won't lose me dad. I'll always be here."
He smiled, "I'm glad honey." I smiled back, and hugged him again.
"I'm gonna take a shower. I feel icky." I laughed before standing up.
"Okay honey...oh wait a second...was there something else wrong? You seemed quite upset, and I'm kinda thinking it isn't just about this."
I sighed, "Don't worry about it dad. Just friend trouble."
"Okay. I love you Lizzy."
I smiled, "I love you too dad."
At first, there was nothing but silence. I was about to call out again when I heard footsteps coming down the large staircase, "Lizzy?" His voice sounded so happy. I hadn't talked to him in over a month. I'm sure he missed his little girl.
When she stopped at the foot of the stairs, looking at me with pleading eyes, I knew it was the right choice by forgiving him. How could I not? He had done nothing wrong really. He didn't know my mom was going to die that night.
I felt my eyes well up with tears, and I ran to him, wrapping my arms around him. I had missed him so much, "I'm so sorry dad." I sobbed into his chest.
I didn't understand why I was so emotional. Maybe it was because I believed that I wouldn't talk to my dad for the rest of my life. Maybe it had something to do with the stupid fight me and Frank just had. Or maybe I was just PMSing. Whatever it was, made me cry like a little baby.
I felt him shake his head, then kiss the top of it, "No, I'm sorry honey. This is all my fault, I should have told you a long time ago."
"Yeah you should have." I agreed.
He hugged me tighter, "I'm so sorry little Lizzy. I never meant to hurt you. You gotta know that."
I nodded. I hoped everything would be okay now.
**
When I had calmed down, I let my dad take me to the living room where we would talk about things. I didn't really care what we talked about, so long as we were talking.
"How are you feeling?" He asked me when I had wiped away the remanding tears.
I smiled, "I'm fine now thank you."
He took hold of my hand, "Is there anything you wanna know?"
I thought about it for a moment and answered, "I...I just wanna know why you did it. I mean, I thought you and mom were happy."
Dad sighed before answering, "Honey you have to understand that I loved your mother very much, right until the very end. She meant the world to me, and still does. We were high school sweet hearts, and married very early. When I met Shania, she was very different. Younger, and different. I was a man stuck in the same routine, but I loved that. Shania was...there though. Truth was, I was in love with two people."
I listened closer as he kept talking, "Of course, I loved your mother much more than I loved Shania. I always will. I didn't want to hurt her, but I knew the longer I stayed with Shan, the more hurt it would cause. But I couldn't bring myself to end it because I was always asking myself will Shania tell my wife about us? I didn't want to risk that. I'm sorry, I am a bad person, and I understand you not talking to me, but it hurt. I've already lost the woman I truely loved...I don't want to lose my only daughter too."
I shook my head, "You won't lose me dad. I'll always be here."
He smiled, "I'm glad honey." I smiled back, and hugged him again.
"I'm gonna take a shower. I feel icky." I laughed before standing up.
"Okay honey...oh wait a second...was there something else wrong? You seemed quite upset, and I'm kinda thinking it isn't just about this."
I sighed, "Don't worry about it dad. Just friend trouble."
"Okay. I love you Lizzy."
I smiled, "I love you too dad."
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