Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > I Hate You But I Love You
Seven hours has passed since my phone call with Gerard. I needed to see him, I needed him to get me out of here. I don't know what will happen if I stay here much longer. I was sure Todd was going to kill me.
I was actually wondering if Gerard was coming for me. What if he said that to get my hopes up? No, that's not like
him. If he wasn't going to help, he would've said so. Telling the truth is something he does best.
Every car that passed the house, I hoped with was him. But if he had drove here, then it'll be another three or four hours until he even reaches the border. I just have to be patient.
The door slammed. He was home. Todd had been getting really drunk lately for reasons unknown to me. He's been more
harmful towards me than I never knew was possible. I had also found out that my parents had called him to come get me.
If they couldn't harm me anymore, then they needed someone who could.
Stomping up the stairs, is what I heard next. He was coming to see me again. I've been raped at least three times a day since I've been here. On a good day, which means if he's passed out most of the time, twice.
The door flung open, and he was exremely drunk, "Play time princess." The same three words leave his mouth everytime. Those words make me sick. Then again, any words that come from his alcoholic mouth makes me sick.
I don't try to fight back, there's no point. My legs are most likely broken, my arms are in handcuffs which are then chained to the wall. I was so tired, I couldn't fight back, it was impossible.
He made me way over to me, and pulled to him, by my legs, which made me yell in pain, "Shut up!" He said.
"Please not now, please, I think my legs are broken -"
"I said SHUT UP!" He pulled down my pants and panties and he struggled getting on a condom - he was that drunk.
I closed my eyes, knowing what was coming, yet I could never get used to the pain.
He slammed into me, I stiffled a scream. He would only hit me if I did. He thrust harder and faster each time, adding that little extra pain.
Fifteen minutes later, he was done, and he stared at me with a satisfiying grin, and left.
As soon as that door closed, I pulled my panties and pants back up, though it hurt. Something is wrong with my legs, I don't what.
When I finally managed to get them back up, I sat in the normal position I was in before. And waiting.
Gerard P.O.V
My god, I was so fucking tired. I haven't stopped the whole way, unless you count the time I had a thirty minute sleep. But that is it! I have driven ten hours straight except that one stop.
Okay, I lied. I stopped twice, but that was only to get a saw from the store. She's in chains, I can't get out there with my bare hands. I'm good, but I'm not that fucking good!
I was on some street, not sure where. I pulled the little piece of paper with the address on, making sure I didn't take any wrong turns.
My phone vibrated in my pocket. I swear, that phone has been doing that non-stop. Who knows how many missed calls or texts I have from my family. I didn't answer it once.
I saw the sign of the name of the street she was on, so I turned left to go down it. It was pitch black, so it was kinda hard to see the right house number, so I stopped the car and walked.
Finally, I found it. Number 35. I saw that there was no car in the driveway, so I assumed Todd wasn't home. I just hoped he hadn't taken her with him.
But his car might not be there for other reasons, so I wasn't gonna knock on the front door was I? No, I went round the back and saw a tree. Perfect. If he comes home I can just hide there.
I climbed up the tree and stayed here thinking of how I was gonna get in the house. I didn't even know which room she was in!
As I was thinking, I saw a window inches away from the tree. It was dark and dull, maybe she was in there!
I moved slowly across the branch, praying I didn't fall. I reached over and knocked on the window, and almost lost my balance when a head shot up with wide eyes.
I smiled, "Hey." She smiled back, only slightly though. But I knew inside she was more than happy to see me.
"Open the window." I told her. She nodded and opened the window, although it was a struggle.
I climbed in, landing next to her, "I didn't think you'd come."
"Of course I would. You're very stupid to think I wouldn't." With the saw in my hand, I took hold of one of the chains and well...saw through it. I did the same with the other.
When she was free she wrapped her arms around me. "You have no idea how great it is to see you Gerard." She whispered in my ear.
"Yeah well you should be happy, I drove ten fucking hours in my heap of junk that is called a car to get here." I joked, "I'm happy to see you too. Until you called me, I thought you were dead."
"I thought I was gonna die. I didn't have a proper chance to call until yesterday." We pulled away from the hug.
"Let's get you out of here and to a hospital, yeah?" She smiled and nodded, "You said you can't walk right?" She nodded once more, "Okay, I guess I can carry you." I rolled my eyes and picked her up, bridal style.
"Gerard, even in bad situations you can make me laugh."
"It's what I do best doll." We held onto each other tightly, and I stepped through the window when I heard,
"YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE!"
And he had a gun!
Krissy P.O.V
Shit!
"Put her back!" He yelled at Gerard, pointing the gun right at him.
He shook his head, "No, she's coming with me."
This made Todd laugh, he moved a step forward, Gerard took a step back.
"That stupid piece of shit isn't going anywhere! She's mine now! Put her back before I shoot!" My breathing got heavier. I kept my hands firmly around Gerard's neck. His hold on my waist and legs tightened also. I was not going to let go this time.
"Put her down NOW!" He screamed.
Then everything that happened next, seemed like it was in slow motion.
Gerard turned us around and jumped out the window, onto the balcony. He needed to get back on the tree he was on before.
I heard gunshots, but luckily he had a bad aim.
"Can you put your legs around me?" He asked. I nodded. I hurt so much, but my legs wrapped themselves round Gerard's waist, and he moved forward, slowly as not to fall.
Then, the worst possible thing happened.
BANG!
I looked at Gerard, his skin drained of the little color that was there. He seemed to be gasping for air, his eyes showed fear and pain. He kept his left arm around me, keeping me up, the other arm went to his stomach.
I didn't know what he was doing at first, but when he brought his hand away, his hand was covered in blood!
"Oh my god Gerard." I managed to sqeack out.
He tried to smile reassuringly at me, "It's okay. I've had worse." I knew he hadn't had worse, but his little attempt to cheer me up didn't help at all.
I heard Todd laughing from the dark room, "Drop dead you fucking emo bastard!" Gerard almost lost his balance, and was stumbling forward until we were 'inside' the tree, hiding behind a huge branch, where he couldn't see us, yet the he still kept firing that gun!
"Gerard, put me down, you've been hurt." Tears were rolling down my face by now.
He shook his head, his eyes were dropping, and his words came out slurred, "No sugar. I need to keep you safe. There's no time for me to rest." He couldn't stand anymore and slid down, so he was laying down, using part of the tree as a pillow.
I crawled over him, so I was sitting next to him. I moved his jacket out the way and ripped open his sweater.
"What are you doing?"
"I need to see this." I choked out. He was bleeding, badly. I didn't know what I could do.
I looked back at Gerard and saw he was wearing a scarf. I pulled that off him, and used it to apply pressure to the wound.
His breathing was heavy, I didn't know how much longer he was gonna stay concious, but I had to keep him awake.
I kept one hand on his wound as I grabbed my cell out my pocket and called for an ambulance and the cops.
After I hung up, I went back to check the wound.
"You know, you would be a great doctor one day. Not a nurse, but a doctor." I heard him say. I faced him, and we watching what I was doing.
"Thanks."
"You lied to me." I gave him a confused look, "You promised you wouldn't cut again. But you did. You lied."
I didn't know what to say to that. I had lied to him. I needed to cut though, the abortion was too much to handle, "I'm sorry."
"It's okay. For now. When we get back home...if I make it -"
"Don't say that!" I snapped.
"Krissy shut up and let me finish! If I make it...I'm gonna fucking blow up on you. I'm gonna fucking do whatever it takes so you don't cut anymore. But...if I don't make it, you need to promise me, again, you won't do it."
"You will make it Gerard -"
"Just fucking promise me."
I was silent before saying, "I promise."
Gerard P.O.V
It stung so much, I knew I was going to pass out soon, but she was doing everything she could to keep me awake.
It was silent for a a few minutes. I started wondering if an ambulance was going to come and get us.
I laughed, but stopped when it hurt, "What's so funny?" She asked.
"I was just thinking...I'm supposed to be the one saving you, yet you're the only saving me." She laughed too.
"Well, it's my turn to be the hero now."
"Hero?" She nodded.
"You're like my own personal Superhero. You always save me from the bad guys." We smiled at each other. I like that I was her superehero. I liked that I was the one she turned to when she needed to talk. I liked that I can help her when she needs it most.
Suddenly, I felt a huge pain in my stomach, and I yelped, "Oh my god!"
"Gerard, calm down please, you're scaring me!" She starts crying again, I hate seeing her cry.
Slowly, the pain dies away a little, but I couldn't rest properly.
She's still crying, and making sure that everything was...okay where I had been shot. I really did hate seeing her cry. It made me so angry at whatever made her cry in the first place. That being Todd!
"Please stop crying. It's okay, I'm fine."
I looked at me, her eyes all red and puffy from crying, "I'm sorry Gerard this is all my fault. If I hadn't called, this wouldn't have happened. I'm so scared I'm gonna lose you, I can't lose you."
"Hey, ssh, ssh. It's okay. If I was gonna die, it would probably have happened by now. And this is not your fault. I have been waiting for something, letting me know you were okay for two weeks. I wanted to come here sugar, it was my choice."
With my left hand, I moved some of her hair out of her face, and tucked it behind her ear. I stroked her cheek gently. I didn't know if it was being shot, or if I wanted this, but I placed my hand on her neck, and slowly pulled her forward.
She didn't even try to pull back, and her lips met with mine. I felt like I was this for a long time, yet I don't ever remember ever wanting to do this.
I slid my tongue along her bottom lip, and she opened her mouth, letting my tongue explore her mouth.
My other hand reached her hand, which was placed ontop of the very much bloodied scarf, and I lace our fingers together.
As our tongues were dancing together, I faintly heard sirens, and saw flashing lights. I didn't want our kiss to end, but gradually I pulled away with one last gentle touch of her lips.
We stared. We didn't care if the cops or anyone was looking for us, we just gazed into each others eyes. We didn't smile, yet we didn't frown. Just stared.
Slowly, she rested her head on my chest, and closing her eyes.
That's all I remember until everything faded to black.
I was actually wondering if Gerard was coming for me. What if he said that to get my hopes up? No, that's not like
him. If he wasn't going to help, he would've said so. Telling the truth is something he does best.
Every car that passed the house, I hoped with was him. But if he had drove here, then it'll be another three or four hours until he even reaches the border. I just have to be patient.
The door slammed. He was home. Todd had been getting really drunk lately for reasons unknown to me. He's been more
harmful towards me than I never knew was possible. I had also found out that my parents had called him to come get me.
If they couldn't harm me anymore, then they needed someone who could.
Stomping up the stairs, is what I heard next. He was coming to see me again. I've been raped at least three times a day since I've been here. On a good day, which means if he's passed out most of the time, twice.
The door flung open, and he was exremely drunk, "Play time princess." The same three words leave his mouth everytime. Those words make me sick. Then again, any words that come from his alcoholic mouth makes me sick.
I don't try to fight back, there's no point. My legs are most likely broken, my arms are in handcuffs which are then chained to the wall. I was so tired, I couldn't fight back, it was impossible.
He made me way over to me, and pulled to him, by my legs, which made me yell in pain, "Shut up!" He said.
"Please not now, please, I think my legs are broken -"
"I said SHUT UP!" He pulled down my pants and panties and he struggled getting on a condom - he was that drunk.
I closed my eyes, knowing what was coming, yet I could never get used to the pain.
He slammed into me, I stiffled a scream. He would only hit me if I did. He thrust harder and faster each time, adding that little extra pain.
Fifteen minutes later, he was done, and he stared at me with a satisfiying grin, and left.
As soon as that door closed, I pulled my panties and pants back up, though it hurt. Something is wrong with my legs, I don't what.
When I finally managed to get them back up, I sat in the normal position I was in before. And waiting.
Gerard P.O.V
My god, I was so fucking tired. I haven't stopped the whole way, unless you count the time I had a thirty minute sleep. But that is it! I have driven ten hours straight except that one stop.
Okay, I lied. I stopped twice, but that was only to get a saw from the store. She's in chains, I can't get out there with my bare hands. I'm good, but I'm not that fucking good!
I was on some street, not sure where. I pulled the little piece of paper with the address on, making sure I didn't take any wrong turns.
My phone vibrated in my pocket. I swear, that phone has been doing that non-stop. Who knows how many missed calls or texts I have from my family. I didn't answer it once.
I saw the sign of the name of the street she was on, so I turned left to go down it. It was pitch black, so it was kinda hard to see the right house number, so I stopped the car and walked.
Finally, I found it. Number 35. I saw that there was no car in the driveway, so I assumed Todd wasn't home. I just hoped he hadn't taken her with him.
But his car might not be there for other reasons, so I wasn't gonna knock on the front door was I? No, I went round the back and saw a tree. Perfect. If he comes home I can just hide there.
I climbed up the tree and stayed here thinking of how I was gonna get in the house. I didn't even know which room she was in!
As I was thinking, I saw a window inches away from the tree. It was dark and dull, maybe she was in there!
I moved slowly across the branch, praying I didn't fall. I reached over and knocked on the window, and almost lost my balance when a head shot up with wide eyes.
I smiled, "Hey." She smiled back, only slightly though. But I knew inside she was more than happy to see me.
"Open the window." I told her. She nodded and opened the window, although it was a struggle.
I climbed in, landing next to her, "I didn't think you'd come."
"Of course I would. You're very stupid to think I wouldn't." With the saw in my hand, I took hold of one of the chains and well...saw through it. I did the same with the other.
When she was free she wrapped her arms around me. "You have no idea how great it is to see you Gerard." She whispered in my ear.
"Yeah well you should be happy, I drove ten fucking hours in my heap of junk that is called a car to get here." I joked, "I'm happy to see you too. Until you called me, I thought you were dead."
"I thought I was gonna die. I didn't have a proper chance to call until yesterday." We pulled away from the hug.
"Let's get you out of here and to a hospital, yeah?" She smiled and nodded, "You said you can't walk right?" She nodded once more, "Okay, I guess I can carry you." I rolled my eyes and picked her up, bridal style.
"Gerard, even in bad situations you can make me laugh."
"It's what I do best doll." We held onto each other tightly, and I stepped through the window when I heard,
"YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE!"
And he had a gun!
Krissy P.O.V
Shit!
"Put her back!" He yelled at Gerard, pointing the gun right at him.
He shook his head, "No, she's coming with me."
This made Todd laugh, he moved a step forward, Gerard took a step back.
"That stupid piece of shit isn't going anywhere! She's mine now! Put her back before I shoot!" My breathing got heavier. I kept my hands firmly around Gerard's neck. His hold on my waist and legs tightened also. I was not going to let go this time.
"Put her down NOW!" He screamed.
Then everything that happened next, seemed like it was in slow motion.
Gerard turned us around and jumped out the window, onto the balcony. He needed to get back on the tree he was on before.
I heard gunshots, but luckily he had a bad aim.
"Can you put your legs around me?" He asked. I nodded. I hurt so much, but my legs wrapped themselves round Gerard's waist, and he moved forward, slowly as not to fall.
Then, the worst possible thing happened.
BANG!
I looked at Gerard, his skin drained of the little color that was there. He seemed to be gasping for air, his eyes showed fear and pain. He kept his left arm around me, keeping me up, the other arm went to his stomach.
I didn't know what he was doing at first, but when he brought his hand away, his hand was covered in blood!
"Oh my god Gerard." I managed to sqeack out.
He tried to smile reassuringly at me, "It's okay. I've had worse." I knew he hadn't had worse, but his little attempt to cheer me up didn't help at all.
I heard Todd laughing from the dark room, "Drop dead you fucking emo bastard!" Gerard almost lost his balance, and was stumbling forward until we were 'inside' the tree, hiding behind a huge branch, where he couldn't see us, yet the he still kept firing that gun!
"Gerard, put me down, you've been hurt." Tears were rolling down my face by now.
He shook his head, his eyes were dropping, and his words came out slurred, "No sugar. I need to keep you safe. There's no time for me to rest." He couldn't stand anymore and slid down, so he was laying down, using part of the tree as a pillow.
I crawled over him, so I was sitting next to him. I moved his jacket out the way and ripped open his sweater.
"What are you doing?"
"I need to see this." I choked out. He was bleeding, badly. I didn't know what I could do.
I looked back at Gerard and saw he was wearing a scarf. I pulled that off him, and used it to apply pressure to the wound.
His breathing was heavy, I didn't know how much longer he was gonna stay concious, but I had to keep him awake.
I kept one hand on his wound as I grabbed my cell out my pocket and called for an ambulance and the cops.
After I hung up, I went back to check the wound.
"You know, you would be a great doctor one day. Not a nurse, but a doctor." I heard him say. I faced him, and we watching what I was doing.
"Thanks."
"You lied to me." I gave him a confused look, "You promised you wouldn't cut again. But you did. You lied."
I didn't know what to say to that. I had lied to him. I needed to cut though, the abortion was too much to handle, "I'm sorry."
"It's okay. For now. When we get back home...if I make it -"
"Don't say that!" I snapped.
"Krissy shut up and let me finish! If I make it...I'm gonna fucking blow up on you. I'm gonna fucking do whatever it takes so you don't cut anymore. But...if I don't make it, you need to promise me, again, you won't do it."
"You will make it Gerard -"
"Just fucking promise me."
I was silent before saying, "I promise."
Gerard P.O.V
It stung so much, I knew I was going to pass out soon, but she was doing everything she could to keep me awake.
It was silent for a a few minutes. I started wondering if an ambulance was going to come and get us.
I laughed, but stopped when it hurt, "What's so funny?" She asked.
"I was just thinking...I'm supposed to be the one saving you, yet you're the only saving me." She laughed too.
"Well, it's my turn to be the hero now."
"Hero?" She nodded.
"You're like my own personal Superhero. You always save me from the bad guys." We smiled at each other. I like that I was her superehero. I liked that I was the one she turned to when she needed to talk. I liked that I can help her when she needs it most.
Suddenly, I felt a huge pain in my stomach, and I yelped, "Oh my god!"
"Gerard, calm down please, you're scaring me!" She starts crying again, I hate seeing her cry.
Slowly, the pain dies away a little, but I couldn't rest properly.
She's still crying, and making sure that everything was...okay where I had been shot. I really did hate seeing her cry. It made me so angry at whatever made her cry in the first place. That being Todd!
"Please stop crying. It's okay, I'm fine."
I looked at me, her eyes all red and puffy from crying, "I'm sorry Gerard this is all my fault. If I hadn't called, this wouldn't have happened. I'm so scared I'm gonna lose you, I can't lose you."
"Hey, ssh, ssh. It's okay. If I was gonna die, it would probably have happened by now. And this is not your fault. I have been waiting for something, letting me know you were okay for two weeks. I wanted to come here sugar, it was my choice."
With my left hand, I moved some of her hair out of her face, and tucked it behind her ear. I stroked her cheek gently. I didn't know if it was being shot, or if I wanted this, but I placed my hand on her neck, and slowly pulled her forward.
She didn't even try to pull back, and her lips met with mine. I felt like I was this for a long time, yet I don't ever remember ever wanting to do this.
I slid my tongue along her bottom lip, and she opened her mouth, letting my tongue explore her mouth.
My other hand reached her hand, which was placed ontop of the very much bloodied scarf, and I lace our fingers together.
As our tongues were dancing together, I faintly heard sirens, and saw flashing lights. I didn't want our kiss to end, but gradually I pulled away with one last gentle touch of her lips.
We stared. We didn't care if the cops or anyone was looking for us, we just gazed into each others eyes. We didn't smile, yet we didn't frown. Just stared.
Slowly, she rested her head on my chest, and closing her eyes.
That's all I remember until everything faded to black.
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