Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > I Hate You But I Love You
Here I was, sitting at the kitchen table, sipping on my hot coffee. I was silently crying, I had been doing this for three weeks. Yes, I have been home three weeks.
I was crying thinking about all that happened in Canada that led to the shooting of my ex-best friend's brother. I wasn't crying because he was shot, I was crying because of what happened after that.
We kissed.
I didn't have a chance to think about that until I got hom from the hospital. I was busy thinking of something else, when my mind remembered that one thing.
Confusion is one of the things I felt. I was now confused as to what will happen now. Will everything be the same? Would our hateful relationship still be there, or is everything different because of something we couldn't stop? Although, he may not even remember what happened in that tree. I think it would be best not to ask about it.
Hurt. I was deeply. The fact that we had been through an awful lot together obviously meant nothing to him. He woke up the day we were transferred, actually during my 'yell at Mikey' time. Of course I wanted to see him. I wanted to make sure he was okay.
But, I would be lying if I said that did happen. What happened, hurt me, a lot.
"Your son has woken up, you can see him if you like." The doctor smiled at us and left, but not before telling us the room he was in.
Although we were mad at each other, Mikey wheeled me down to his room, followed by his parents and Frank.
When we got to the plain white door, with the number 475 on it, indicating it was his room, Don and Donna went in first, then Frank, then me and Mikey.
He never looked over to the door, to see who wanted to see him. His stare was at the plain white ceiling, maybe counting the squares. I would have done that if I knew I would stuck here for a while.
"Gerard, you're okay." Donna was standing on his left of the bed, me and Mikey were on his right. So, of course, Gerard's gaze went to his mother.
"Hey mom. Yeah I'm okay. Just a little scratch." He laughed lightly.
Soon, Don joined Donna, "Glad you're okay son." He smiled.
Me and Mikey stayed on his right, "Hey bro, I don't really know what to say, but er...Krissy's here."
There was silence before he said coldly, "I don't wanna see her."
"Gerard, what're you talking about?" His little brother was confused. Now I know why Gerard never looked over to his right of the bed, where also the door was.
Because he didn't want to see me.
"I said I don't wanna fucking see her." He snapped. I gasped, tears coming to me eyes.
"Get her out of here Mikes."
Why didn't he wanna see me? Was it something I did or said?
More tears fell from my eyes, but I quickly wiped them away when I heard the front door slam shut.
I heard footsteps go up stairs, light footsteps, I knew they were Donna's. But, I could hear the tapping of someone elses shoes coming closer to the kitchen, only they stopped.
Why would they stop? I looked up and wanted to smile, but I held it back.
There stood a few steps away from the kitchen, was that seventeen year old boy. His black hair only that little bit longer, a little past his shoulders. His face had regained some of the color, but there wasn't really a lot there to begin with.
He wore black pants, a Misfits shirt and a black jacket, along with black converses.
Looking back up at his face, I saw his amazing hazel eyes that were staring back at me, but, I couldn't read any emotion.
I stepped forwards, he never stepped back. I stopped when I was a few centimeters away from him.
I looked down slightly, and pulled up his shirt, to see the scaring that had been left by the bullet.
Like I have been for a very long time, I was close to tears. I've cried so much, I didn't think I could cry anymore.
I sobbed, and like it was meant to happen, we flung our arms around each other. I cried into his shirt, as he stroked my hair.
I cried so much, that I lost the feeling in my legs, and fell to the floor, and Gerard went with me.
"Ssh, it's okay." He whispered.
We didn't care that Don, Donna, Mikey and Frank were all watching us. We just...didn't care.
Gerard P.O.V
I didn't realise she was still so upset about this whole thing. I did want to see her, I really did, but I couldn't.
I was scared she would ask about what happened in the tree. Everything we have could be ruined because of that. I think it's best if we never mention it again.
I guess also part of the reason I didn't want to see her was because, when I first woke up, I blamed her for everything, although, once I had time to think properly, I realised it wasn't.
It was very awkward between us now though. Both of us knew that the kiss was on our mind, that is what made it awkward.
We were at the table for dinner, and if someone didn't say something soon, I think I would go crazy.
"Krissy?" Thank you mom, "Are you going to get your stuff back soon?"
"I...don't know. I haven't really though about that."
"Because you can't sleep in Gerard's bed now that he's home." I almost choked on my food.
"What!? Why were you sleeping in my bed? Mom! You know I hate other people in my bed!"
Mom raised an eyebrow, "So, why do you always bring home those...girls?"
"They don't sleep in my bed. They stay about an hour and then go home."
"Gerard, you don't think that I'm going to believe your lies anymore. Please, bringing a girl home to help her with her homework? I'm not stupid, I'm your mom."
I felt myself blush, and Mikey giggled next to me.
"Mom, are you saying I'm a whore?"
"It's exactly what I'm saying dear."
Then someone dropped their fork on the table, "Ew!" She exclaimed, "Are you saying I've been sleeping in a bed that he's had sex in every night?" My mom nodded, "Oh my god, that's just...ew! I'm having a shower." She jumped off her chair and ran upstairs.
Right before the bathroom door closed, I heard her yell, "I'll get you back for this Way! And don't think that I won't!"
Mikey sighed, "I guess things are back to normal between you two then?"
I smiled, "I guess so."
Krissy P.O.V
A month had passed and everything was back to normal.
Seriously, everything was back to normal. I had my friends back and I had my enemy back. Honestly, I had never been happier.
Well, I would have been happier, but somehow, a relative, a real relative has made contact with Donna, and has asked that I live with her. I hate being moved from one place to another.
I don't know which relative is coming to get me, but I know that everyone in my family lives in Canada. I may as well have stayed there!
I had finished packing my stuff, my new stuff that I had bought, about an hour ago. I had brought it all downstairs, placing it by the front door. I sighed and sat on one of my suitcases.
I heard someone come through the back door, and Mikey and Frank came from the kitchen, but stopped when they saw me.
Both boys, I could tell, were upset about me leaving, "I-I thought mom was gonna try and keep you here?"
I shook my head sadly, "I'm not family Mikes, she has no right to keep me here, and I'm not 18 so I can't make my own decisions yet."
"But...we don't want you to go." Frank croaked out.
I sniffed, "I don't wanna go either. I love you guys, you're the best friends anyone could ask for." I jumped up and hugged them both. I honestly didn't want to leave. Jersey was my home now, Toronto would never be considered home to me again.
There was a knock on the door, so I pulled away from the hug to answer it.
"Hey Krissy."
"Hi Aunt Sally." I greeted.
"Aw, why so down girl, I thought you'd be excited to see me?" She asked, frowning.
"I don't wanna leave, this is my home now." She sighed before I let her in, and introduced her to the boys.
"Nice to meet you two. So tell me, which one is my niece's lover?" She asked, laughing.
They both shook their heads, "No Aunt Sally, they're my best friends. They're like brothers to me." I explained.
She just shrugged and sat down on the couch in the living room. I loved my Aunt, but sometimes I think she is younger than me. I'm normally the adult when I'm with her.
"So, when are we leaving? You have everything packed."
I nodded, "Yeah, but I wanna say goodbye to Don and Donna before we go. They've looked after me a long time." She just nodded and leant back in the chair and...fell asleep!
About ten minutes later, Don, Donna and Gerard came home. They had been to the hospital to get some medication for Gerard as his side still hurts from time to time.
"Hey Kris, is your aunt here yet?" Don asked, I nodded.
"Yeah, but she's sleeping. She's not even that old, and she's asleep." I said. I saw Gerard just go down to his room.
"Oh okay. Oh yes, when we were at the hospital, someone who came for you and Gerard in Canada was there, and he gave me this envolope to give to you. Here." He gave me what looked like a letter.
I looked at it confused, but opened it anyway. Firstly I pulled out a note which said; Hope you don't mind, you two just looked so cute together.
Now I was really confused. I pulled out two pieces of card and felt really happy when I saw this.
It may seem weird giving the circumstances, but, we looked so peaceful, there together.
It was two of the same picture. Someone had taken a picture of me and Gerard asleep [or in Gerard's case, unconcious] in the tree. My head layed against his chest, his arm draped around my shoulder, holding me close, and our hands were laced together, holding the scarf down in his wound.
I smiled, "What is it honey?" Donna asked.
I looked up, still smiling, "Nothing." I whispered, and put them back in the envolope, and putting that in my back pocket.
Gerard P.O.V
Hell yeah, she is leaving today! Could this day get any better?
This morning when I woke up, I actually did a little dance to celebrate her departure. I was so happy, most probably the best day of my life!
It was around 4:00p.m and we had been home about three hours. She was taking forever to leave.
"Krissy, come on we must leave now, it's getting late." Her aunt said, finally.
Sadness washed over her face, yet I didn't feel anything for it this time. That Gerard has died.
"Okay, you go wait in the car, I'll be there in a minute."
"Well, don't take too long." She said, walking out the front door. By now all her stuff was out the house.
We were all standing in the hallway, I was only there to witness her tearful goodbye. I needed to see for myself that she left.
"I don't wanna go." She choked, and Mikey rushed to her.
"It's okay, you'll see us again. You can move back here."
"Yeah, but not for another three and half years Mikey. What if you forget about me?"
Mikey laughed, "How can we forget you? We have your number, your email. We'll talk all the time. I promise." He kissed her forhead, and hugged her.
Once he pulled away she said to him, "I'll miss you Mikes. Your my best friend, I love you."
"Love you too." Then he stood back with my parents. Next to speak was Frank.
"I'm gonna miss you so much Krissy. You mean a lot to me."
She nodded and sniffed, "You mean a lot to me too Frankie. You're like my little brother, although we were born on the same day." They laughed, then shared a hug, "I love you my little Frankenstein."
"And I love you my little Kitty Krissy Cat." I cringed at the nickname. Frank pulled away and stepped back with Mikey.
Lastly, were my parents, "We'll miss you Krissy. Call us sometime. You're like the daughter we never had." My mom hugged her, followed by my dad.
"And you guys are like the parents I wished I had." The stepped back, and Krissy looked over them for the last time.
"I'm gonna miss you all so, so much. Except for the vampire in the corner. I'll visit when I can, but if I can't, I'll call, I'll write. I'll keep in touch." She wiped away a few tears, "Bye." Her last word came out all squeaky and high-pitched. She walked out the front door, closing it behind her.
As soon as that door closed, my face broke into a grin and I started clapping, "Finally! She's gone! Halle-fucking-lujah! We can now live in peace." I turned to go back to my room, but was stopped by my mom.
"Gerard, go say bye to her."
"What!? Why?"
"Just do it." I sighed and went out, just before she got in the car.
"HEY!" I yelled and she looked up, "Get your ass over here!" I walked down to the end of the driveway and met up with her, by her car.
"What?"
I sighed again, "Mom told me I had to say bye to you. So...bye?" It came out more of a question. I looked toward the house, and saw they everyone was watching me. I'll get them later. I thought.
I thought she would just say it back and then we could leave, but no, she had to drag this on a little longer.
"Gerard, do you remember about a month ago, I found out I was sleeping in a sex bed? Then I said I would get you back for that?"
"Yes." I dragged out the 'e', sounding a little uneasy.
She smiled, "Well I know exactly what I'm gonna do. I'm going to embarress you in front of your whole family, plus Frankie." I furrowed my eyebrows.
Then, before I had a chance to do anything, she pulled my by the shirt to her, and our lips were caught in a kiss.
I was shocked at first. My hands were holding onto her upper arms, and her hands were still holding onto my shirt. I didn't know if it was the best thing to do, but I started kissing back.
One of her hands left my shirt, but it was soon brought back, but she now held something in her hand.
Her hands kept moving on whatever she was holding and then pressed it against my chest.
She pulled away from me, and had a huge grin that screamed 'you do know you're never gonna hear the end of this?'
I was still in shock from what had happened, and with one blink, she was about to get into the passenger side of the car.
She was still smiling and she blew me a kiss and said, "Bubi Gee Gee, I wuv you!"
Suddenly my sense kicked in, "Bitch!" I screamed, "You just fucking wait! You're dead when I next see you!" She just laughed and climbed into the car. And I stood there until I could no longer see it before I looked down in my hands to see a picture.
A picture of me and her, 'sleeping' in the tree, hands tied together.
I smiled slightly, but it soon faded when I realised, I had to face my family...and Frank.
I was crying thinking about all that happened in Canada that led to the shooting of my ex-best friend's brother. I wasn't crying because he was shot, I was crying because of what happened after that.
We kissed.
I didn't have a chance to think about that until I got hom from the hospital. I was busy thinking of something else, when my mind remembered that one thing.
Confusion is one of the things I felt. I was now confused as to what will happen now. Will everything be the same? Would our hateful relationship still be there, or is everything different because of something we couldn't stop? Although, he may not even remember what happened in that tree. I think it would be best not to ask about it.
Hurt. I was deeply. The fact that we had been through an awful lot together obviously meant nothing to him. He woke up the day we were transferred, actually during my 'yell at Mikey' time. Of course I wanted to see him. I wanted to make sure he was okay.
But, I would be lying if I said that did happen. What happened, hurt me, a lot.
"Your son has woken up, you can see him if you like." The doctor smiled at us and left, but not before telling us the room he was in.
Although we were mad at each other, Mikey wheeled me down to his room, followed by his parents and Frank.
When we got to the plain white door, with the number 475 on it, indicating it was his room, Don and Donna went in first, then Frank, then me and Mikey.
He never looked over to the door, to see who wanted to see him. His stare was at the plain white ceiling, maybe counting the squares. I would have done that if I knew I would stuck here for a while.
"Gerard, you're okay." Donna was standing on his left of the bed, me and Mikey were on his right. So, of course, Gerard's gaze went to his mother.
"Hey mom. Yeah I'm okay. Just a little scratch." He laughed lightly.
Soon, Don joined Donna, "Glad you're okay son." He smiled.
Me and Mikey stayed on his right, "Hey bro, I don't really know what to say, but er...Krissy's here."
There was silence before he said coldly, "I don't wanna see her."
"Gerard, what're you talking about?" His little brother was confused. Now I know why Gerard never looked over to his right of the bed, where also the door was.
Because he didn't want to see me.
"I said I don't wanna fucking see her." He snapped. I gasped, tears coming to me eyes.
"Get her out of here Mikes."
Why didn't he wanna see me? Was it something I did or said?
More tears fell from my eyes, but I quickly wiped them away when I heard the front door slam shut.
I heard footsteps go up stairs, light footsteps, I knew they were Donna's. But, I could hear the tapping of someone elses shoes coming closer to the kitchen, only they stopped.
Why would they stop? I looked up and wanted to smile, but I held it back.
There stood a few steps away from the kitchen, was that seventeen year old boy. His black hair only that little bit longer, a little past his shoulders. His face had regained some of the color, but there wasn't really a lot there to begin with.
He wore black pants, a Misfits shirt and a black jacket, along with black converses.
Looking back up at his face, I saw his amazing hazel eyes that were staring back at me, but, I couldn't read any emotion.
I stepped forwards, he never stepped back. I stopped when I was a few centimeters away from him.
I looked down slightly, and pulled up his shirt, to see the scaring that had been left by the bullet.
Like I have been for a very long time, I was close to tears. I've cried so much, I didn't think I could cry anymore.
I sobbed, and like it was meant to happen, we flung our arms around each other. I cried into his shirt, as he stroked my hair.
I cried so much, that I lost the feeling in my legs, and fell to the floor, and Gerard went with me.
"Ssh, it's okay." He whispered.
We didn't care that Don, Donna, Mikey and Frank were all watching us. We just...didn't care.
Gerard P.O.V
I didn't realise she was still so upset about this whole thing. I did want to see her, I really did, but I couldn't.
I was scared she would ask about what happened in the tree. Everything we have could be ruined because of that. I think it's best if we never mention it again.
I guess also part of the reason I didn't want to see her was because, when I first woke up, I blamed her for everything, although, once I had time to think properly, I realised it wasn't.
It was very awkward between us now though. Both of us knew that the kiss was on our mind, that is what made it awkward.
We were at the table for dinner, and if someone didn't say something soon, I think I would go crazy.
"Krissy?" Thank you mom, "Are you going to get your stuff back soon?"
"I...don't know. I haven't really though about that."
"Because you can't sleep in Gerard's bed now that he's home." I almost choked on my food.
"What!? Why were you sleeping in my bed? Mom! You know I hate other people in my bed!"
Mom raised an eyebrow, "So, why do you always bring home those...girls?"
"They don't sleep in my bed. They stay about an hour and then go home."
"Gerard, you don't think that I'm going to believe your lies anymore. Please, bringing a girl home to help her with her homework? I'm not stupid, I'm your mom."
I felt myself blush, and Mikey giggled next to me.
"Mom, are you saying I'm a whore?"
"It's exactly what I'm saying dear."
Then someone dropped their fork on the table, "Ew!" She exclaimed, "Are you saying I've been sleeping in a bed that he's had sex in every night?" My mom nodded, "Oh my god, that's just...ew! I'm having a shower." She jumped off her chair and ran upstairs.
Right before the bathroom door closed, I heard her yell, "I'll get you back for this Way! And don't think that I won't!"
Mikey sighed, "I guess things are back to normal between you two then?"
I smiled, "I guess so."
Krissy P.O.V
A month had passed and everything was back to normal.
Seriously, everything was back to normal. I had my friends back and I had my enemy back. Honestly, I had never been happier.
Well, I would have been happier, but somehow, a relative, a real relative has made contact with Donna, and has asked that I live with her. I hate being moved from one place to another.
I don't know which relative is coming to get me, but I know that everyone in my family lives in Canada. I may as well have stayed there!
I had finished packing my stuff, my new stuff that I had bought, about an hour ago. I had brought it all downstairs, placing it by the front door. I sighed and sat on one of my suitcases.
I heard someone come through the back door, and Mikey and Frank came from the kitchen, but stopped when they saw me.
Both boys, I could tell, were upset about me leaving, "I-I thought mom was gonna try and keep you here?"
I shook my head sadly, "I'm not family Mikes, she has no right to keep me here, and I'm not 18 so I can't make my own decisions yet."
"But...we don't want you to go." Frank croaked out.
I sniffed, "I don't wanna go either. I love you guys, you're the best friends anyone could ask for." I jumped up and hugged them both. I honestly didn't want to leave. Jersey was my home now, Toronto would never be considered home to me again.
There was a knock on the door, so I pulled away from the hug to answer it.
"Hey Krissy."
"Hi Aunt Sally." I greeted.
"Aw, why so down girl, I thought you'd be excited to see me?" She asked, frowning.
"I don't wanna leave, this is my home now." She sighed before I let her in, and introduced her to the boys.
"Nice to meet you two. So tell me, which one is my niece's lover?" She asked, laughing.
They both shook their heads, "No Aunt Sally, they're my best friends. They're like brothers to me." I explained.
She just shrugged and sat down on the couch in the living room. I loved my Aunt, but sometimes I think she is younger than me. I'm normally the adult when I'm with her.
"So, when are we leaving? You have everything packed."
I nodded, "Yeah, but I wanna say goodbye to Don and Donna before we go. They've looked after me a long time." She just nodded and leant back in the chair and...fell asleep!
About ten minutes later, Don, Donna and Gerard came home. They had been to the hospital to get some medication for Gerard as his side still hurts from time to time.
"Hey Kris, is your aunt here yet?" Don asked, I nodded.
"Yeah, but she's sleeping. She's not even that old, and she's asleep." I said. I saw Gerard just go down to his room.
"Oh okay. Oh yes, when we were at the hospital, someone who came for you and Gerard in Canada was there, and he gave me this envolope to give to you. Here." He gave me what looked like a letter.
I looked at it confused, but opened it anyway. Firstly I pulled out a note which said; Hope you don't mind, you two just looked so cute together.
Now I was really confused. I pulled out two pieces of card and felt really happy when I saw this.
It may seem weird giving the circumstances, but, we looked so peaceful, there together.
It was two of the same picture. Someone had taken a picture of me and Gerard asleep [or in Gerard's case, unconcious] in the tree. My head layed against his chest, his arm draped around my shoulder, holding me close, and our hands were laced together, holding the scarf down in his wound.
I smiled, "What is it honey?" Donna asked.
I looked up, still smiling, "Nothing." I whispered, and put them back in the envolope, and putting that in my back pocket.
Gerard P.O.V
Hell yeah, she is leaving today! Could this day get any better?
This morning when I woke up, I actually did a little dance to celebrate her departure. I was so happy, most probably the best day of my life!
It was around 4:00p.m and we had been home about three hours. She was taking forever to leave.
"Krissy, come on we must leave now, it's getting late." Her aunt said, finally.
Sadness washed over her face, yet I didn't feel anything for it this time. That Gerard has died.
"Okay, you go wait in the car, I'll be there in a minute."
"Well, don't take too long." She said, walking out the front door. By now all her stuff was out the house.
We were all standing in the hallway, I was only there to witness her tearful goodbye. I needed to see for myself that she left.
"I don't wanna go." She choked, and Mikey rushed to her.
"It's okay, you'll see us again. You can move back here."
"Yeah, but not for another three and half years Mikey. What if you forget about me?"
Mikey laughed, "How can we forget you? We have your number, your email. We'll talk all the time. I promise." He kissed her forhead, and hugged her.
Once he pulled away she said to him, "I'll miss you Mikes. Your my best friend, I love you."
"Love you too." Then he stood back with my parents. Next to speak was Frank.
"I'm gonna miss you so much Krissy. You mean a lot to me."
She nodded and sniffed, "You mean a lot to me too Frankie. You're like my little brother, although we were born on the same day." They laughed, then shared a hug, "I love you my little Frankenstein."
"And I love you my little Kitty Krissy Cat." I cringed at the nickname. Frank pulled away and stepped back with Mikey.
Lastly, were my parents, "We'll miss you Krissy. Call us sometime. You're like the daughter we never had." My mom hugged her, followed by my dad.
"And you guys are like the parents I wished I had." The stepped back, and Krissy looked over them for the last time.
"I'm gonna miss you all so, so much. Except for the vampire in the corner. I'll visit when I can, but if I can't, I'll call, I'll write. I'll keep in touch." She wiped away a few tears, "Bye." Her last word came out all squeaky and high-pitched. She walked out the front door, closing it behind her.
As soon as that door closed, my face broke into a grin and I started clapping, "Finally! She's gone! Halle-fucking-lujah! We can now live in peace." I turned to go back to my room, but was stopped by my mom.
"Gerard, go say bye to her."
"What!? Why?"
"Just do it." I sighed and went out, just before she got in the car.
"HEY!" I yelled and she looked up, "Get your ass over here!" I walked down to the end of the driveway and met up with her, by her car.
"What?"
I sighed again, "Mom told me I had to say bye to you. So...bye?" It came out more of a question. I looked toward the house, and saw they everyone was watching me. I'll get them later. I thought.
I thought she would just say it back and then we could leave, but no, she had to drag this on a little longer.
"Gerard, do you remember about a month ago, I found out I was sleeping in a sex bed? Then I said I would get you back for that?"
"Yes." I dragged out the 'e', sounding a little uneasy.
She smiled, "Well I know exactly what I'm gonna do. I'm going to embarress you in front of your whole family, plus Frankie." I furrowed my eyebrows.
Then, before I had a chance to do anything, she pulled my by the shirt to her, and our lips were caught in a kiss.
I was shocked at first. My hands were holding onto her upper arms, and her hands were still holding onto my shirt. I didn't know if it was the best thing to do, but I started kissing back.
One of her hands left my shirt, but it was soon brought back, but she now held something in her hand.
Her hands kept moving on whatever she was holding and then pressed it against my chest.
She pulled away from me, and had a huge grin that screamed 'you do know you're never gonna hear the end of this?'
I was still in shock from what had happened, and with one blink, she was about to get into the passenger side of the car.
She was still smiling and she blew me a kiss and said, "Bubi Gee Gee, I wuv you!"
Suddenly my sense kicked in, "Bitch!" I screamed, "You just fucking wait! You're dead when I next see you!" She just laughed and climbed into the car. And I stood there until I could no longer see it before I looked down in my hands to see a picture.
A picture of me and her, 'sleeping' in the tree, hands tied together.
I smiled slightly, but it soon faded when I realised, I had to face my family...and Frank.
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