FicWad

My back felt stiff as I was leaning against something quite uncomfortable. My eyes slowly opened, and my vision was blurred for a moment before I could see clearly. I noticed that my eyes stung, which only happened when I cried. I must have been crying.

I gazed around the small, yet warm room. It was a living room, but I didn't know where I was. Strangely though, I didn't panic. I was very calm. I looked out of the window and saw that the sun was setting, meaning it was around dinner time. People would be on their way home from work about now. Everyone except my parents, of course. They come home when they feel like it. It didn't bother me, like it should do. I was used to it.

My head turned towards another room, which I thought was the kitchen. I had heard low voices, and a couple belonged to females, and another couple belonged to males. Where in the world was I?

As I tried to sit up on the blue couch, I gasped at the stinging in my arms. It was so painful, they felt so numb, and heavy. I looked down at them and fought back the tears. Both arms had turned a strange purple color, though crimson red was noticeable. Bruised.

What had happened at school came back to my mind. The fear I felt as he held me tight against the door. He was furious with what I said to him, but at the time I felt as if he deserved it. I learned the hard way that I was wrong.

I then remembered that Mikey and Frank found me, and Mikey kindly brought me back to his house. This is where I was now, it must be. They must be the voices I could hear, but then who did the female voices belong to?

What could I do now? There was no way I could tell them what had happened. I couldn't tell anybody. If I did, Gerard would hurt me more. I didn't want that. I didn't want him to hurt me anymore. But, it was clear to me that Mikey had no idea what his brother was really like, he looked up to him. I couldn't change his mind about that.

I wanted to tell Mikey to take me home, but I was too shy to go into the kitchen, knowing that there were people in there I didn't know. I didn't want them to have to see me like this. What would they think of me? Unfortunately, footsteps were coming towards the living room and four people came through. First was Frank, then Mikey, then two girls I didn't know.

Frank was the first to see I was awake, and gave a small smile. He sat down next to me, "How're you feeling?" He asked softly. I just shrugged, too shy to say anything, "You haven't been out long. About half an hour. You fell asleep in my car." I sent him an apologetic look which he shook his head at, "Don't worry about it. You looked like you needed it anyway."

I lifted my head when I saw a pair of feet standing in front of me. This girl had long dark hair with small eyes. I saw she had a nose piercing. Like Frank, she gave a small smile, "Hey. I'm Alicia, Mikey's girlfriend. I know you're Sam... They told us you were really upset and didn't know why."

By 'us', I was guessing she meant her and the other girl, who was sitting next to Frank. She had dark hair like Alicia, but it was shorter. Her eyes were a dark brown. Though she was sitting down, I could tell she was quite short. Maybe shorter than Frank, "I'm Jamia." She smiled.

I noticed that neither of them looked, or asked about the bruises on my arms. They must have already seen them, and Mikey or Frank had explained that they didn't know how it happened. And they were never going to know, though I knew they had their own thoughts on what happened.

All was silent for a while. By now, Alicia had sat down next to Mikey. Mikey looked upset, and I knew why. I knew he thought Gerard had done this, but I wouldn't let him know. I would hate myself if Mikey stopped talking to his brother because of me. And I didn't need Gerard hating me anymore, if it were possible.

"Sam, we have to ask... What happened?" Frank asked, almost in a whisper. I thought they would have asked the second I woke up. I didn't want to lie to them, but I couldn't tell them. It was something, amongst other things about Gerard, that I had to keep a secret.

I shook my head and shrugged. When I spoke, it came out shaky, "I guess I'm really clumsy... I walked into my locker a couple of times today. And as I was coming out, I fell half way down the stairs." I wasn't the best at lying, but that excuse was the worst I had ever come up with. Ever.

When I looked at Mikey, I feared him for a second. The way he looked at me was very much like Gerard did, and it was then I realized how much alike they looked. In a second, his expression changed, and I knew he knew then that Gerard had done this, "Sam? You came out crying. You were fucking terrified! A locker and a couple of stairs wouldn't do that." Frank argued.

I shrugged, "I don't care, I'm sticking to that story." I looked down at my shoes, refusing to look at the only people who cared. I felt like crying at that. I only had four people that cared for me, two of them I didn't even know!

I heard someone sigh, "You'll have to tell us sometime Sam. You can't keep it hidden, it's not healthy. Until today, I had never seen someone so fucking scared in my life." Mikey told me, annoyance evident in his voice. I hated lying. Mostly because I was bad at it. But I didn't like hurting people.

Staring out of the window, I replied to him, "Look, maybe... Some day, I can tell you. But for now can you please let it go?" I begged. Frank gave me a sad look, as did Jamia and Alicia, but Mikey wasn't going to let it go.

He sighed again and stood up, "No Sam, I won't. How can I? You expect to be scared and not have questions asked about it? I'm sorry Sam, but you will tell me. We wanna help."

I started to feel really angry with him. Couldn't he see that I didn't want him, or anyone to know. He didn't even know me, why does he care, "I don't need your fucking help Mikey. I've been able to take care of myself all my life. I don't need anybody!" I yelled.

Mikey's eyes widened, "Sam we -"

I cut him off, and I stood up, "No, Mikey. I don't need any help! I don't need to tell anybody my problems, especially people I don't know very well!"

I walked near him, but continued to go passed him, attempting to leave the house and go home. But Mikey made it difficult for me. He went to grab my wrist, but when I felt the slightest touch, I flipped, "Don't fucking touch me!" I screamed. The others had now stood up, and all four looked shocked by my sudden outburst. I felt tears stream down my face as I began to feel that familiar terrified feeling, "Don't touch me." I whispered.

Mikey went to say something, but I ignored him and spun round to leave the house. I ran towards the front door, my vision blurred. I ripped open the door and saw the man that did this to me. He appeared shocked and confused by the sight of me. I took no notice and pushed him away, allowing me to get passed, though my arms ached as I did it.

"Sam! Wait, please stop!" Mikey and Frank called, but I ignored them, running harder, never stopping to wipe my tears. I just wanted to go home and forget that this day ever existed. I heard Mikey yelling to me still, "It was Gerard wasn't it!? IT WAS MY FUCKING BROTHER!" What he said next wasn't to me, but to Gerard, "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER!?"

The last thing I heard was Gerard's yells of confusion, pretending he didn't know what the fuck was going on. Their voices faded after that, but I kept running, never stopping until I saw my home. I didn't realize Mikey lived near me, which made the whole situation worse as Gerard could find me.

I ran up to the front door, luckily finding that it was open. I pushed myself in. I knew my parents weren't home, their cars weren't here. I did the only thing that could possibly calm me down in any way. I screamed, loud and long. I needed to get it out of my system.

My hands pulled at my hair and I fell to my knees, the scream still fighting through my throat and passed my lips. I let go of my hair and punched the hard floor until I had no more left in me.

By now, my head hurt, my stomach hurt, my eyes stung, my arms stung, my knees hurt, and my throat hurt. I collapsed where I was and cried so hard. Everything that had happened in the past week since starting that school came out as I cried. I never cried. I never had a reason to, and now just one person has changed that. How can one person make me feel so low?

I lay on the floor, my eyes closed and tears escaping them, knowing this was going to stop any time soon. So I just let myself cry. It felt kind of good to get it all out. But I didn't know that someone was watching me.