Categories > Original > Drama > My Life
July 6th, 2009
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July 6, 2009
Okay. I am officially FREAKING OUT!!! I wish there was someone I could tell about this, someone that could help me on what to do, but that would mean revealing this new event, and the entire ordeal of what I have done would eventually reach Luna's ears; that's something I couldn't handle at this point. I guess I should start at the beginning...
I got back from my family's huge 4th of July celebration late last night, and it was a bit too late for me to be talking to Luna on the phone or otherwise. I told my parents I was going for a quick walk around the neighborhood, just to enjoy the summer air, and then I decided that I'd go ask Aubrey if she wanted to join me; after all, it was such a beautiful night with the full moon and shining stars. We've been seeing each other for almost two months now, and still no one suspects a thing between us.
I immediately noticed that Mrs. Anderson's white Jeep was absent from the driveway when I walked up to the door, which was opened shortly after being knocked. As I had predicted, Aubrey was home alone, and based upon her attire, the intentions were very clear. Her fiery hair was seductively waved, her normally dull wide brown eyes had a sparkle of charm that could only be seen by my extent of exhaustion; the only things she wore were a skimpy nightgown (with clearly nothing underneath) and a sly grin.
I was panicing internally; the realization of what I was about to do struck me, as it often did when I was betraying Luna, and I felt rather ill. I knew I wasn't supposed to do anything of this degree with her, let alone anything at all, but the desire was much, much more than I could stand. Why must man crave exactly that which he should not have?
I looked into her surprisingly mesmerizing eyes, longing for them to drain my qualms about this, about everything; the worked their magic, bringing my thoughts back to what was right in front of me, refusing to let them wander more than necessary to get through this. As I surrendered my body to Aubrey's working seduction, my imagination was just beyond reach of those powers.
My feet followed her invitation inside, my hand closing and locking the door behind me while I continued to stare at her; my lips were grinning, a wet-and-ready tongue gliding across them to prepare for what was imminent. However, my imagination started to shield me from this, and it completely morphed the image in front of me: Aubrey's hair slipped from her natural tone to one known as the golden color of such quality that it could only be labeled as Luna's hair, the eyes shifted to match the sweetness and natural glistening of my girlfriend's baby blues. Before I could even blink, the woman in front of me was no longer the avatar of my temptations, but rather the goddess of beauty that I knew to be my true love.
We were upon each other seconds after being within her home, stumbling and twirling in our secretive dance of affection, lips locked and tongues twisting around the other. We spun all the way to her bedroom, where she at once pulled me down on her; the bed was our safe landing, but we didn't skip a beat. My hands raced to her shoulders to remove that only barrier between me and her nude form; the silk spaghetti straps of the nightgown slid down her arms while she pulled it up and over her head from the bottom up. When I looked down to see the newly revealed skin, I saw not the young body of Aubrey but the curvy and proportionally perfect body of Luna.
She swiftly tore off my own shirt, following with pulling everything below the waist to my ankles for me to kick off to some quickly forgotten corner of the bedroom. My hands went all over her body, exploring which I had never yet explored and had been craving for so long. She placed her arms around my neck to entice me closer, kissing it for my pleasure while still leaving slight room for my hands to work among her chest and lower regions; we were both starting to sweat, and moans with heavy breathing were becoming frequent. When it was impossible to stand the intensity, I wrapped my arms around her torso and inserted myself within her; the moans were to die for as the friction between my thrusts and her walls increased rapidly. Paradise is the only way to describe it, with pleasure both rising and raging inside of me, inside of us and continuously building until I let go in an orgasmic moan and burst of excitement; I felt all of my muscles go limp while still pounding into her.
As I could tell that she had finished soon after I had, I gazed into the eyes that I had entranced myself to believe were Luna's, my peripheral vision taking note of the glistening sweat and sexy blush on her cheeks and forehead. This is where I slipped, where I made the biggest mistake I had ever made in those two months: I told her I loved her, and just before I had my defense mechanism switch me back on to reality. Her blonde locks faded back to red, and the lively blue eyes snapped back to the brown I had come to know as only Aubrey's.
I never meant to say it, I never meant to start leading her on in such a way that I couldn't take it back, I never meant to get more emotionally involved that I had already become to satisfy the meager needs; she told me she loved me back. I hate myself, more than before.
She sat us both up, cuddling into my side like I was only comfortable with Luna doing, and I checked the time to only pretend to be shocked at the late hour; I then awkwardly redressed faster that I had on my first day of sixth grade (I had only ten minutes left to get to school when I woke up) and fled out of her room, down the hall, and out the front door to finally head back towards home. Of course, considering what had just occured, I was in no condition to just return to my normal life. Before going back, I sprinted around Lake Johnson, all the while concluding that I wouldn't talk to Aubrey for a few days just to clear my mind.
Talking to Luna has never made me feel so scared and anxious and just plain guilty-sick-to-my-stomach. I mean, I told her that I just felt a little sick, that it was nothing to really worry about, because she still has no idea about what I've been doing behind her back.
I honestly feel sick about this; I never intended for any of this to happen or go so far. I actually haven't been giving much thought to what I've been doing until now, I guess I've just been going along with what was happening around me, but now that I've thought about it thuroughly I know I have to stop... But how can I after experiencing what sex, the ultimate repressor of temptation (though it opens a whole new Pandora's box), feels like I just can't stop with the snap of my fingers. I mean, I think I could be able to stop if I experience it with Luna.....
Until that happens, however.....I'm powerless
Okay. I am officially FREAKING OUT!!! I wish there was someone I could tell about this, someone that could help me on what to do, but that would mean revealing this new event, and the entire ordeal of what I have done would eventually reach Luna's ears; that's something I couldn't handle at this point. I guess I should start at the beginning...
I got back from my family's huge 4th of July celebration late last night, and it was a bit too late for me to be talking to Luna on the phone or otherwise. I told my parents I was going for a quick walk around the neighborhood, just to enjoy the summer air, and then I decided that I'd go ask Aubrey if she wanted to join me; after all, it was such a beautiful night with the full moon and shining stars. We've been seeing each other for almost two months now, and still no one suspects a thing between us.
I immediately noticed that Mrs. Anderson's white Jeep was absent from the driveway when I walked up to the door, which was opened shortly after being knocked. As I had predicted, Aubrey was home alone, and based upon her attire, the intentions were very clear. Her fiery hair was seductively waved, her normally dull wide brown eyes had a sparkle of charm that could only be seen by my extent of exhaustion; the only things she wore were a skimpy nightgown (with clearly nothing underneath) and a sly grin.
I was panicing internally; the realization of what I was about to do struck me, as it often did when I was betraying Luna, and I felt rather ill. I knew I wasn't supposed to do anything of this degree with her, let alone anything at all, but the desire was much, much more than I could stand. Why must man crave exactly that which he should not have?
I looked into her surprisingly mesmerizing eyes, longing for them to drain my qualms about this, about everything; the worked their magic, bringing my thoughts back to what was right in front of me, refusing to let them wander more than necessary to get through this. As I surrendered my body to Aubrey's working seduction, my imagination was just beyond reach of those powers.
My feet followed her invitation inside, my hand closing and locking the door behind me while I continued to stare at her; my lips were grinning, a wet-and-ready tongue gliding across them to prepare for what was imminent. However, my imagination started to shield me from this, and it completely morphed the image in front of me: Aubrey's hair slipped from her natural tone to one known as the golden color of such quality that it could only be labeled as Luna's hair, the eyes shifted to match the sweetness and natural glistening of my girlfriend's baby blues. Before I could even blink, the woman in front of me was no longer the avatar of my temptations, but rather the goddess of beauty that I knew to be my true love.
We were upon each other seconds after being within her home, stumbling and twirling in our secretive dance of affection, lips locked and tongues twisting around the other. We spun all the way to her bedroom, where she at once pulled me down on her; the bed was our safe landing, but we didn't skip a beat. My hands raced to her shoulders to remove that only barrier between me and her nude form; the silk spaghetti straps of the nightgown slid down her arms while she pulled it up and over her head from the bottom up. When I looked down to see the newly revealed skin, I saw not the young body of Aubrey but the curvy and proportionally perfect body of Luna.
She swiftly tore off my own shirt, following with pulling everything below the waist to my ankles for me to kick off to some quickly forgotten corner of the bedroom. My hands went all over her body, exploring which I had never yet explored and had been craving for so long. She placed her arms around my neck to entice me closer, kissing it for my pleasure while still leaving slight room for my hands to work among her chest and lower regions; we were both starting to sweat, and moans with heavy breathing were becoming frequent. When it was impossible to stand the intensity, I wrapped my arms around her torso and inserted myself within her; the moans were to die for as the friction between my thrusts and her walls increased rapidly. Paradise is the only way to describe it, with pleasure both rising and raging inside of me, inside of us and continuously building until I let go in an orgasmic moan and burst of excitement; I felt all of my muscles go limp while still pounding into her.
As I could tell that she had finished soon after I had, I gazed into the eyes that I had entranced myself to believe were Luna's, my peripheral vision taking note of the glistening sweat and sexy blush on her cheeks and forehead. This is where I slipped, where I made the biggest mistake I had ever made in those two months: I told her I loved her, and just before I had my defense mechanism switch me back on to reality. Her blonde locks faded back to red, and the lively blue eyes snapped back to the brown I had come to know as only Aubrey's.
I never meant to say it, I never meant to start leading her on in such a way that I couldn't take it back, I never meant to get more emotionally involved that I had already become to satisfy the meager needs; she told me she loved me back. I hate myself, more than before.
She sat us both up, cuddling into my side like I was only comfortable with Luna doing, and I checked the time to only pretend to be shocked at the late hour; I then awkwardly redressed faster that I had on my first day of sixth grade (I had only ten minutes left to get to school when I woke up) and fled out of her room, down the hall, and out the front door to finally head back towards home. Of course, considering what had just occured, I was in no condition to just return to my normal life. Before going back, I sprinted around Lake Johnson, all the while concluding that I wouldn't talk to Aubrey for a few days just to clear my mind.
Talking to Luna has never made me feel so scared and anxious and just plain guilty-sick-to-my-stomach. I mean, I told her that I just felt a little sick, that it was nothing to really worry about, because she still has no idea about what I've been doing behind her back.
I honestly feel sick about this; I never intended for any of this to happen or go so far. I actually haven't been giving much thought to what I've been doing until now, I guess I've just been going along with what was happening around me, but now that I've thought about it thuroughly I know I have to stop... But how can I after experiencing what sex, the ultimate repressor of temptation (though it opens a whole new Pandora's box), feels like I just can't stop with the snap of my fingers. I mean, I think I could be able to stop if I experience it with Luna.....
Until that happens, however.....I'm powerless
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