- Only a few issues. Ginny's reaction in this fic, didn't match up with the end of the fic this is a sequel to. In the summer fic ginny was thinking she was going to find herself a guy of her own since hermione had claimed harry. Here you have her trying something in anger, like she didn't already know.
Also the 'review' of hogwarts hermione mentions came out of nowhere, it was mentioned past tense but never mentioned as being started. The ministry flunky, umbridge, was also removed according to sirius due to the review, but she's at the staff meeting at the end. Also no mention ever made of her torture of harry to sirius or anyone.
Dunno, it seems like the whole thing, though good in plot, has some internal inconsistencies as well as with the prequel fic.
- Well, I think you've marked this complete at a most inappropriate point in the story. I can probably imagine what happens, but that's not the same as the author spelling it out. While there were some inconsistencies in the story, the basic premise was excellent. Please either add to this story or write another sequel.
- Another great story! Now, that mo'Ron is showing his true colors, me thinks his dorm mates should sew into his sheets and correct his attitude with quidditch bats for about an hour!
Like the premise of this story and noticed your shot over the bow to Lupin about telling D-dork everything.
Look forward to next update
(#) HoosierPotter 2013-08-24Hoping you are planning on another part past this it is very good and I think you have some room to go on and make it longer than two parts. I liked how you did most of this and think you did a good job with the characters. I agree with some of the reviews I read you seem to have the adults fine they are sleeping together in the last fic but in this one they are all worried about it. Then you also have Fleur giving Bill a pass for more or less causing Harry and Hermione to have to rush out of the party when it was all his fault Dumbles found out about it. Saying I don't want to lose you should not get him out of this and just because he gave them her apartment in Paris does not excuse his muck up. Again hope you write more this is a good storyline.
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