Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > The Dark Parade- Diamonds Are A Clowns Best Friend
One of my best chapters yet!
Gerard knew he was going to have a bad day the moment he opened his eyes to the world. He got out of bed slowly and dragged himself to the bathroom. He winced in pain with every step he took. His backside was in considerable pain because of the fall and the fight at the exhibition.
He scowled at his reflection as he washed up, last night had sucked big time. Not only had he not spoken to Selina but she had been with some guy (who he sincerely hoped was a gay friend). Plus, the Joker looked like he was going through one of his dangerous psychotic phases again. Sometimes his moods could be unpredictable and explosive, a bit like it was that 'time of the month'. But in this case the clown seemed to be PMSing worser then ever. Gerard knew he would have to capture him again and toss him back into Arkham Asylum and this time make sure he stayed there.
He sensed something was amiss the second he entered the dining room. Raymond offered him his breakfast with a strange look upon his face instead of his usual cheerful greeting. He also noticed the Gotham City Times was missing from the tray.
"Where's the morning newspaper?" He asked his butler.
Raymond suddenly looked flustered. "Erm, it didn't arrive today, sir," He replied. His eyes darted here and there and Gerard knew he was lying.
"Raymond," He started patiently. "Tell me, what's the mater?"
"It's nothing, sir. Really," Raymond insisted, looking panicky.
Gerard rose from his chair and faced him. "Tell me," He repeated as he gave him an intense look.
Raymond sighed in defeat. "If you insist Master Way," Without another word he turned on his heel and stalked out of the room. He returned a few moments later with the paper tucked under his arm. He handed it wordlessly to Gerard and left the room, closing the door firmly behind him.
Gerard unfolded the newspaper and gasped in horror. Splashed across the front page was a massive picture of Batman and the Joker. The Dark Knight was holding the clowns hand and Gerard recognized it as last nights escapade. From the way the picture had been taken, it looked like they were holding hands and staring at each other lovingly. Only Gerard knew that was completely untrue. On top of the picture in big, bold letters the headline screamed: "Batman and the Joker-More then just enemies?"
Gerard read the accompanying article out loud:
An Odd Love Story
The secret affair between Batman and the Joker has finally been exposed! After many years of speculation as to the real nature of their often turbulent relationship, their hidden love for each other has finally been revealed to the world.
It all took place last night when the Joker gate-crashed a high society Diamond Exhibition, causing much mayhem and stealing millions of dollars worth of irreplaceable jewels. It was not long until Batman made an appearance. A violent battle ensued which ended with a beautiful young woman, identified as Selina Kyle, being thrown senselessly from the building. Of course, The Dark Knight jumped after her to save her life like all good superheroes are expected to do. But that is not what onlookers at the party found shocking, it was the Joker's reaction when the Bat jumped out the window after the girl which got their attention.
"He started to scream hysterically and even tried to throw one of his men out the window to "make sure Batman was alright," A shaken fellow billionaire told TGCT. "It was extraordinary to watch this deranged clown get all emotional over he's alleged nemesis,"
"Indeed," Continued yet another billionaire, "He was nearly in tears at one point. When one of his men tried to console him, the Joker attempted to stab the poor fellow in the chest,"
As we all know, rich people NEVER lie, so these eye-witness accounts bring many a question to one's mind. Why did the clown get so upset? Was he really concerned about the well being of the man who keeps beating the living daylights out of him? We asked famed talk show host and sometimes psychologist, Mr. Haury Jovich for his professional opinion.
"Well, if you ask me, I've always believed Batman has had some homo-erotic tendencies throughout his whole career as a superhero. I mean, why else does he wear a skin tight black rubber outfit? He's got to be a bit of a freak, right? And the Joker, well that guy wears make-up, if that doesn't indicate a desire to express his feminine side, I don't know what does.
It's obvious the Joker is the subservient one in the relationship as he allows Batman to abuse him physically. In my professional opinion, The Dark knight channels his rage onto the Joker in this way because he may be confused about his preferences and I think he is sexually repressed. They both need to come onto my show so I can help them out."
Gerard let the newspaper fall to the floor in shock. His hands trembled with barely contained rage. He couldn't believe it, after years of carefully cultivating his fearsome image, it had all come tumbling down in an instant. All thanks to the damned Joker, the clown had ruined his image. How were his enemies supposed to fear him now?
He was also furious with the media. He was pretty sure Way Enterprises owned The Gotham City Times, someone over there was going to get their ass kicked for this. Gerard paced the room in frustration, he needed to do damage control. But how? After many hours of racking his brains, he had formulated a plan that could save his image. But for that he would need the Joker himself.
*
It was midnight in Gotham City and Batman was in a terribly foul mood. All day he had had to sit and listen to his friends and acquaintances literally tear him apart-except they didn't know they were ripping The Dark Knight to pieces to his face. He had had to use every ounce of self-control he possessed to play along as they called him some pretty horrific names. Only his right hand man Bob Bryar and Raymond knew the truth and supported him. If they thought the current situation was weird they were keeping it to themselves and he appreciated it.
The now infamous picture had leaked onto the internet and it seemed the whole world was discussing the sexual preferences of Batman. Chat show hosts were mercilessly poking fun at him and even some of his young fans thought he was a freak. It needed to be put right immediately and Batman knew just how to do it.
He had successfully invited the Joker to meet him at midnight at the Gotham City National Park. It had been relatively easy to get in touch with him because for some reason, the clown had a Twitter page under his real name. Apparently he liked to keep the world updated on what went on in his twisted little head.
Now hidden in the shadows of the tall oak trees, Batman waited patiently for the clown to show, for there was no doubt that he would. The moonlight filtered through the clouds, casting unearthly shadows on the ground below. He could hear tiny animals scampering around in the dark but he wasn't bothered, he was one of them-a creature of the night.
A sudden sound made him raise his head sharply. He strained his ears and recognized the unmistakable tooting of a horn in the distance. Batman frowned, it was an odd sound to hear in a park as no cars were aloud in here. He peered into the darkness and was amazed at what his eyes saw. It was the Joker, he was making his way slowly up the path. On a tricycle. He was tooting his horn and singing happily to himself while he ambled precariously in the pitch black.
Despite the severity of his situation, Batman had to chuckle to himself. The clown knew how to make an entrance. He sighed sadly, it was sad it had come to this. He didn't want to do what he had planned but he had no choice. His mission to rid Gotham of all evil was way more important then the clown.
The Joker paused a few feet were Batman was hiding and got off the tricycle. He straightened his bow-tie and smoothed down his hair nervously. Batman shook his head as the time to put his plan into action came nearer. He had been dreading this moment all day but knew it was inevitable. He steeped out of the shadows and revealed himself to the Joker.
"Honey!" Shrieked the Joker happily when he spotted him. "You're here," He rushed over and tried to put his arms around Batman's waist but pouted when he was held back. "What's up?" He asked in confusion. Then it dawned on him, "Oh, you must be moody about the pictures right?" He patted Batman's arm sympathetically. "Everyone would have figured it out when we got married, right?" He shook his head
Batman pushed him violently. "Enough!" He shouted. "I've had enough of you and you're delusions clown. I've come here to put an end to it." He said darkly.
The Joker clapped a hand to his chest sorrowfully. "Oh my God. Are you breaking up with me?" He whispered in fear.
"WE WERE NEVER TOGETHER IN THE FIRST PLACE!" Yelled Batman furiously.
"What are you trying to say?" Asked the Joker, puzzled.
Instead of replying, Batman kicked the clown in the midsection with full force, who went down like a ton of bricks upon impact. He lay in a heap on the floor as he struggled to breath. Batman kneeled beside him and grabbed him by the throat. His hands tightened over his windpipe as he began to choke the clown in a blind rage.
"What....wh....," The Joker spluttered, as he was denied oxygen.
"It ends tonight, clown!" Hissed Batman, his anger had taken over and he no longer had control over his actions. A shrill voice in his mind was screaming he was going too far but he ignored it. He was aware the paparazzi he had bribed to take pictures of this very moment were probably having a field day but he didn't care. He had meant to beat the Joker to a pulp and have the media print pictures the next day, proving that they were indeed enemies and nothing else, but now he had him in his grasp, Batman seemed unable to stop himself from choking him.
He clenched him tighter and the Joker's eyes became glazed. It wouldn't be long now until he was no longer a nuisance to everyone.
"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Shouted a voice forcefully from behind him.
Batman immediately released the nearly-unconscious clown from his grip, who rolled around on the ground deliriously, and got up quickly. He span around to face the voice and was stunned by what he saw.
You didn't really think I was gonna kill off Frank now did you?
Gerard knew he was going to have a bad day the moment he opened his eyes to the world. He got out of bed slowly and dragged himself to the bathroom. He winced in pain with every step he took. His backside was in considerable pain because of the fall and the fight at the exhibition.
He scowled at his reflection as he washed up, last night had sucked big time. Not only had he not spoken to Selina but she had been with some guy (who he sincerely hoped was a gay friend). Plus, the Joker looked like he was going through one of his dangerous psychotic phases again. Sometimes his moods could be unpredictable and explosive, a bit like it was that 'time of the month'. But in this case the clown seemed to be PMSing worser then ever. Gerard knew he would have to capture him again and toss him back into Arkham Asylum and this time make sure he stayed there.
He sensed something was amiss the second he entered the dining room. Raymond offered him his breakfast with a strange look upon his face instead of his usual cheerful greeting. He also noticed the Gotham City Times was missing from the tray.
"Where's the morning newspaper?" He asked his butler.
Raymond suddenly looked flustered. "Erm, it didn't arrive today, sir," He replied. His eyes darted here and there and Gerard knew he was lying.
"Raymond," He started patiently. "Tell me, what's the mater?"
"It's nothing, sir. Really," Raymond insisted, looking panicky.
Gerard rose from his chair and faced him. "Tell me," He repeated as he gave him an intense look.
Raymond sighed in defeat. "If you insist Master Way," Without another word he turned on his heel and stalked out of the room. He returned a few moments later with the paper tucked under his arm. He handed it wordlessly to Gerard and left the room, closing the door firmly behind him.
Gerard unfolded the newspaper and gasped in horror. Splashed across the front page was a massive picture of Batman and the Joker. The Dark Knight was holding the clowns hand and Gerard recognized it as last nights escapade. From the way the picture had been taken, it looked like they were holding hands and staring at each other lovingly. Only Gerard knew that was completely untrue. On top of the picture in big, bold letters the headline screamed: "Batman and the Joker-More then just enemies?"
Gerard read the accompanying article out loud:
An Odd Love Story
The secret affair between Batman and the Joker has finally been exposed! After many years of speculation as to the real nature of their often turbulent relationship, their hidden love for each other has finally been revealed to the world.
It all took place last night when the Joker gate-crashed a high society Diamond Exhibition, causing much mayhem and stealing millions of dollars worth of irreplaceable jewels. It was not long until Batman made an appearance. A violent battle ensued which ended with a beautiful young woman, identified as Selina Kyle, being thrown senselessly from the building. Of course, The Dark Knight jumped after her to save her life like all good superheroes are expected to do. But that is not what onlookers at the party found shocking, it was the Joker's reaction when the Bat jumped out the window after the girl which got their attention.
"He started to scream hysterically and even tried to throw one of his men out the window to "make sure Batman was alright," A shaken fellow billionaire told TGCT. "It was extraordinary to watch this deranged clown get all emotional over he's alleged nemesis,"
"Indeed," Continued yet another billionaire, "He was nearly in tears at one point. When one of his men tried to console him, the Joker attempted to stab the poor fellow in the chest,"
As we all know, rich people NEVER lie, so these eye-witness accounts bring many a question to one's mind. Why did the clown get so upset? Was he really concerned about the well being of the man who keeps beating the living daylights out of him? We asked famed talk show host and sometimes psychologist, Mr. Haury Jovich for his professional opinion.
"Well, if you ask me, I've always believed Batman has had some homo-erotic tendencies throughout his whole career as a superhero. I mean, why else does he wear a skin tight black rubber outfit? He's got to be a bit of a freak, right? And the Joker, well that guy wears make-up, if that doesn't indicate a desire to express his feminine side, I don't know what does.
It's obvious the Joker is the subservient one in the relationship as he allows Batman to abuse him physically. In my professional opinion, The Dark knight channels his rage onto the Joker in this way because he may be confused about his preferences and I think he is sexually repressed. They both need to come onto my show so I can help them out."
Gerard let the newspaper fall to the floor in shock. His hands trembled with barely contained rage. He couldn't believe it, after years of carefully cultivating his fearsome image, it had all come tumbling down in an instant. All thanks to the damned Joker, the clown had ruined his image. How were his enemies supposed to fear him now?
He was also furious with the media. He was pretty sure Way Enterprises owned The Gotham City Times, someone over there was going to get their ass kicked for this. Gerard paced the room in frustration, he needed to do damage control. But how? After many hours of racking his brains, he had formulated a plan that could save his image. But for that he would need the Joker himself.
*
It was midnight in Gotham City and Batman was in a terribly foul mood. All day he had had to sit and listen to his friends and acquaintances literally tear him apart-except they didn't know they were ripping The Dark Knight to pieces to his face. He had had to use every ounce of self-control he possessed to play along as they called him some pretty horrific names. Only his right hand man Bob Bryar and Raymond knew the truth and supported him. If they thought the current situation was weird they were keeping it to themselves and he appreciated it.
The now infamous picture had leaked onto the internet and it seemed the whole world was discussing the sexual preferences of Batman. Chat show hosts were mercilessly poking fun at him and even some of his young fans thought he was a freak. It needed to be put right immediately and Batman knew just how to do it.
He had successfully invited the Joker to meet him at midnight at the Gotham City National Park. It had been relatively easy to get in touch with him because for some reason, the clown had a Twitter page under his real name. Apparently he liked to keep the world updated on what went on in his twisted little head.
Now hidden in the shadows of the tall oak trees, Batman waited patiently for the clown to show, for there was no doubt that he would. The moonlight filtered through the clouds, casting unearthly shadows on the ground below. He could hear tiny animals scampering around in the dark but he wasn't bothered, he was one of them-a creature of the night.
A sudden sound made him raise his head sharply. He strained his ears and recognized the unmistakable tooting of a horn in the distance. Batman frowned, it was an odd sound to hear in a park as no cars were aloud in here. He peered into the darkness and was amazed at what his eyes saw. It was the Joker, he was making his way slowly up the path. On a tricycle. He was tooting his horn and singing happily to himself while he ambled precariously in the pitch black.
Despite the severity of his situation, Batman had to chuckle to himself. The clown knew how to make an entrance. He sighed sadly, it was sad it had come to this. He didn't want to do what he had planned but he had no choice. His mission to rid Gotham of all evil was way more important then the clown.
The Joker paused a few feet were Batman was hiding and got off the tricycle. He straightened his bow-tie and smoothed down his hair nervously. Batman shook his head as the time to put his plan into action came nearer. He had been dreading this moment all day but knew it was inevitable. He steeped out of the shadows and revealed himself to the Joker.
"Honey!" Shrieked the Joker happily when he spotted him. "You're here," He rushed over and tried to put his arms around Batman's waist but pouted when he was held back. "What's up?" He asked in confusion. Then it dawned on him, "Oh, you must be moody about the pictures right?" He patted Batman's arm sympathetically. "Everyone would have figured it out when we got married, right?" He shook his head
Batman pushed him violently. "Enough!" He shouted. "I've had enough of you and you're delusions clown. I've come here to put an end to it." He said darkly.
The Joker clapped a hand to his chest sorrowfully. "Oh my God. Are you breaking up with me?" He whispered in fear.
"WE WERE NEVER TOGETHER IN THE FIRST PLACE!" Yelled Batman furiously.
"What are you trying to say?" Asked the Joker, puzzled.
Instead of replying, Batman kicked the clown in the midsection with full force, who went down like a ton of bricks upon impact. He lay in a heap on the floor as he struggled to breath. Batman kneeled beside him and grabbed him by the throat. His hands tightened over his windpipe as he began to choke the clown in a blind rage.
"What....wh....," The Joker spluttered, as he was denied oxygen.
"It ends tonight, clown!" Hissed Batman, his anger had taken over and he no longer had control over his actions. A shrill voice in his mind was screaming he was going too far but he ignored it. He was aware the paparazzi he had bribed to take pictures of this very moment were probably having a field day but he didn't care. He had meant to beat the Joker to a pulp and have the media print pictures the next day, proving that they were indeed enemies and nothing else, but now he had him in his grasp, Batman seemed unable to stop himself from choking him.
He clenched him tighter and the Joker's eyes became glazed. It wouldn't be long now until he was no longer a nuisance to everyone.
"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Shouted a voice forcefully from behind him.
Batman immediately released the nearly-unconscious clown from his grip, who rolled around on the ground deliriously, and got up quickly. He span around to face the voice and was stunned by what he saw.
You didn't really think I was gonna kill off Frank now did you?
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