FicWad

Sorry I took so long to update but "life" keeps me busy!!!

There bathed in the silvery moonlight stood a woman, except she wasn't dressed like a normal woman. She was dressed as a cat. She wore an extremely tight fitting, black leather cat-suit. It showed off her sensuous curves to perfection and Batman felt a strange sensation pass through his body. He peered closer at her. Were his eyes deceiving him, or was she holding a whip in her hand? She shifted her position, yep, she was indeed holding a long, black whip in her hand. He tried to catch a glimpse of her face but saw she was wearing a mask, a mask with tiny little ears on the top. All that was exposed were her lips, which were painted a bright red. He thought it was cute but sincerely hoped she hadn't gone to the extreme length of applying whiskers to her face.

"Who are you?" He asked her, after he had regained his composure.

"Isn't it obvious. I'm Catwoman," She stated, stepping closer.

"What do you want?" He hoped she didn't want to fight him. He totally didn't believe in hitting girls, no matter how strangely they liked to dress.

"I'm here to help you," She replied, faintly.

"I don't need any help," He said, with a growl.

She nodded her head, indicating at something behind him. He turned around and spotted the Joker, now in a sitting position as he tried to catch his breath. It all came crashing down on Batman as he remembered what he had been about to do. Had he really been about to kill the clown? He felt disgusted with himself. What had he been thinking? He wasn't a murderer. If he started to kill people, what was the difference between him and the thug that had taken his parents life?

He turned to face Catwoman again. She was closer then she had been before and he hadn't even heard her sneaking up, but he didn't consider her a threat. Quite the opposite in fact. "Thank you," He whispered.

"Consider us even," She said, smiling secretively at him.

Batman frowned, he was certain he had never met this woman before. He would have remembered saving a woman dressed as a cat. Maybe she was confused or worse still, a stalker? He had had problems with over-zealous females trying to track him down before. Maybe this girl was taking it to the next level?

"I don't understand," He said.

She didn't answer, instead she stepped even closer to him. Now they were mere inches apart. Batman could smell the sweet fragrance radiating off her body, it seemed familiar to him yet he could not place it. She cocked her head to the side as if she were considering something internally, then she slowly lifted her hand and stroked his face. Well, the part of his face that wasn't obscured by his cowl. Her touch was soft and gentle, loving even. He suppressed a shudder and gazed into her eyes. She smiled at him and once again he got a sense of deja vu. He knew he had met this woman before, but where?

She giggled softly as if she could hear his thoughts and stood on her tiptoes, she threw her arms around him and pressed her body closer to his. He knew what was coming next. Just when he thought his life couldn't get any weirder....

"EXCUSE ME, SISTER!" Yelled a very angry voice from behind them, completely ruining the moment. "Just what the Hell do you think you are doing?"

They broke apart and turned simultaneously to find the Joker striding towards them angrily. Batman had forgotten about the clowns presence and he felt guilty about his actions. He wondered whether he should apologize to him, tell him he was sorry he had nearly choked him to death. Maybe he would even send him some flowers or something as he was aware the Joker was fond of Roses. He decided against it as maybe that would be perceived as something it totally wasn't.

Batman quickly stepped between him and Catwoman. "I can take care of myself," She said, irritably.

He didn't bother to answer. He knew the clown well, even though the Joker often appeared to be emotional and sometimes hysterical. Batman knew he harboured an explosive temper and incredible strength. He was also not afraid to use the knives he kept hidden all over his body.

"Look," He started wearily as the Joker approached them.

"Screw you, Batman!" Shouted the Joker, as he attempted to push past The Dark Knight.

"Calm down," He said in a mild voice. He was determined not to lose his temper again.

"Go to Hell!" Spat the clown. "You tried to kill me back there," He accused dramatically.

"I'm sorry," Batman said, sincerely.

"Whatever," Huffed the clown. "What kind of man tries to kill the love of his life?"

Batman didn't reply. Instead he sighed heavily and glanced at Catwoman. She smiled sympathetically at him. This did not go unnoticed by the jealous clown.

"What the Hell is going on between you two?" He demanded, waving his arms in the air like a madman.

"We just met," Batman explained.

He heard her chuckle softly. It only confirmed his suspicions that they had met before, he decided to work on that later. Right now, he had to deal with this little problem.

"Look," He began in a stronger voice. He needed to show both of them who was in charge here. "I know a lot of things have happened here tonight that shouldn't have and I apologize for that, I really do. I didn't mean to hurt you. I guess I just lost control."

The Jokers eyes immediately welled up with tears, "I forgive you!" He sniffed. "I can never stay mad at you! You're perfect," He breathed.

Batman shook his head in dismay. It seemed the Jokers love knew no bounds, he could do whatever he pleased and the clown would forgive him instantly. Why oh why did he only attract nutters?

"Are you insane?" Catwoman interjected sharply.

"According to my last therapist, who mysteriously fell out of his 10th floor window, yes. Yes I am insane. Why?" The clown asked conversationally.

"Because he doesn't love you. Any fool can see that," She declared.

"He does too love me. Didn't you just see how apologetic he was?" Simpered the clown.

"Yes. After he tried to CHOKE you to DEATH," She cried.

"Oh that? That was nothing. It probably happens to every couple, right?" He beamed, looking around for confirmation. When none came he simply shrugged.

"You're not a couple! You're not even close!" She sneered.

"We are close! We've known each other for years, been through so much drama and come through it stronger then ever. How would you know anything? You're just a girl dressed as a cat," He snapped his fingers at her and pouted.

"Says the guy dressed as a clown," She hissed, and cracked her whip fiercely on the ground.

Meanwhile, Batman watched this furious exchange with a bemused grin on his face. If only Raymond could see him now, he thought. Being fought over by an insane clown and a woman dressed as a feline.

"What are you doing here anyway? Batman called me here for special purposes and you've ruined everything!" He accused.

"I saved you're life," She said in disbelief. "You should be grateful."

"Only Batman can save me," Murmured the clown. "And he knows how as well," He smirked naughtily.

"Okay, that's enough," Interrupted Batman firmly. He decided this was getting way out of hand and needed to be stopped. "I think everyone needs to, erm, go home. Wherever that may be."

"I want to go home with you, baby," Giggled the Joker.

"Over my dead body," Warned Catwoman.

"That can be arranged," Replied the Joker swiftly. He reached into his back pocket and removed a gleaming knife that glinted dangerously in the moonlight."If he would just move out of my way." He tried to step forward but was held back easily Batman.

"I said that's enough. I want you both to go home, it's been a long day for us all and we all need to get some sleep." Batman glared at the clown until he sighed and put his knife away. He turned to Catwoman who was also giving the Joker a filthy look but quickly replaced it with a smile for him.

"I really don't know who you are. I hope you're not here to cause trouble because I wouldn't want to have to hurt you," He said softly. "But right now I think it's best if you just disappear, okay? I need to think," Truthfully he wanted to get away from them both and speak to Raymond. He would know what to do about this new, bizarre situation.

She nodded her head. "Okay, if that's what you want." Without another word, she span around and slinked off stealthily into the night.

"Yeah! You'd better run, sugar. Hope we don't run into each other in some dark alleyway cause you're totally gonna get it then!" The clown yelled after her.

"Enough, clown," Said Batman, rounding on him. "It's you're turn now. Go home."

"I thought you only said that to get rid off her," The Joker spluttered, looking very confused.

"I meant you both. I can't deal with this right now, okay? My head is spinning," Batman would have ran his fingers through his hair but couldn't because of his headgear. He frowned, feeling the uncontrollable rage thrashing around inside of him, begging to be unleashed. He refused to allow it to be set free for now, but he didn't know how long that could last. "Go home," He repeated.

"Fine. If that's what you really want, I'll leave. But honey, if I find out you've got something going on with that chick, I'm gonna burn this city to the ground, okay?" The Joker smiled sweetly at him before taking a step backwards. "And this time you won't be able to stop me." He added darkly, before he too turned and disappeared into the shadows.

Batman stood alone in the park contemplating the events that had just transpired. He knew the Joker well enough to know he was deadly serious. That worried him because usually the clowns pranks were harmless and badly planned, but the look in his eyes before he had fled suggested something else.

His troubled thoughts turned to Catwoman. He didn't know much about her but he had a strong feeling that Gothams newest arrival would bring her fair share of trouble for him. He looked up into the sky. Dark clouds were gathering together and he heard the distant rumble of thunder. A storm was coming.

I was just thinking, what would happen if these guys appeared on an episode of The Haury Jovich Show? Ha ha ha. But seriously, Rate and Review and let me know what you think of this chapter please. I appreciate anyone who makes the effort and leaves a review!!!