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I could feel myself going faint... No hold it together Elle... I heard Gerard call my name.

I reached up and snatched the envelope off the box before he could stop me. I tore it open and read it quickly before he snatched it from my hands.

now you can sleep peacefully my angel. He'll never hurt you again.

That's all it said... Holy shit... He was in my room. I wasn't dreaming...He covered me with my papa's blanket... He kissed me...it wasn't Gerard... it was...

That was it... I felt everything go dark and my knees gave out and I crashed to the floor...

I woke up on the couch. I fluttered my eyes open. I had my head in someone's lap...I look up. It's Laura. What the hell? She smiles a little weakly at me and adjusts the wet rag on my head. I shut my eyes and try to steady myself... I was so confused. I hear Gerard's voice.

"I checked every fucking window man. They were all fucking locked." I hear him say.

"Guys." Laura says softly.

"Well he had to have gotten in somehow." I hear Ray say and l open my eyes and look over. They were standing in the center of the living room. Totally oblivious to the fact Laura was trying to tell them I was awake.

"Gerard?" Laura says and he ignores her.

"I'm telling ya man not a fucking scratch. The door was locked. I don't know how that motherfucker got in." Gerard replies.

"mm Ray?" Laura says a little louder.

"And the lock doesn't look tampered with?" Ray asks ignoring her.

"Naw man Will said you couldn't pick it, you'd have to pry it open." Gerard replies getting all worked up.

"Hey guys."  Laura repeats trying to get their attention.

"Yeah no, it definitely wasn't pried." I hear Rays voice say.

"Oh bullshit!" I yell sitting up startling them.

"Elle." Gerard says coming over and kissing my forehead.

'I don't give a fuck how he got in Gerard." I said pushing him off me a little. "Fuck Will, Fuck his locks. Fuck his yellow paint." I carry on. "Someone was obviously in here last night!" I yell and Gerard just looked at me. He couldn't argue back cause it was true... "And I dont give a fuck how he got in...he fucking killed Gus Gus." I said starting to cry. I was hysterical.

"Naw baby, don't cry now." Gerard pulled me in his arms and tried to comfort me. I cried for a long time. I couldn't help myself. Laura made me some tea, but then she said she and Ray had to get back to school. They only came by on their lunch to check on us. I felt bad. Dragging her into this like that. I really hardly knew her...

I asked her if she could just let Pete know that I was still gonna 'go' with him to the dance even though I wasn't at school and Gerard flipped out...

Started yelling at me that I was crazy. That I wasn't going anywhere. I told him I wasnt gonna stay at the dance. Just go to Petes, talk to his dad and have him drop me off back here...You think what the hell I said the way he was carrying on...

"Elle we are not staying here." He says firmly. "Not until I can figure out how the fuck he got in and what the fucks going on." He says lifting me up off the couch. "Now go get your shit we're leaving." He says and I frown.

"I'm not gonna be scared out of my house." I argue and he shakes his head at me.

"I wasn't asking you-I'm telling you, youre not going to the dance." He snaps. "We're leaving." He says and I frown. Fuck. He can be so stubborn sometimes. I storm down the hall and start shoving crap into my bag. I don't want to leave...Its my house...why do I have to leave...

Wouldn't it make more sense to stay and wait up all night for him to come back? Fuck. I started going through my drawers looking for my pack of cigarettes. I couldn't find them. I asked Gerard if he's seen them.

"I smoked the last few that were in there." He tells me and I frown.

"Aw fuck Gerard I don't think I have any left, that was my last pack." I tell him and he shrugs.

"I have some at my house." He says and I make a face.

"Well that's not gonna help me now." I laugh a little. "Mmm maybe we can stop at Walgreen's on the way." I say and he just looked at me.

"On the way to where?" he asks as I grab my keys off the dresser. "Where do you think you're going?" He asks me.

"To the cemetery." I say and he just looks at me. "I'm serious Gerard...I'm going to go run up to the Walgreen's on the corner and grab some cigarettes and some flowers and bring them to the cemetery for my mom like I do every year." I tell him.

He just looks at me in disbelief.

"Look Gerard if you don't want to come you don't have to" I say and he sighs a little.

"Its not that I don't want to go Elle." He says as I pick up my bag. "I just don't think you should be running around like that, not until we know-"

"I told you Gerard." I say interrupting him. "I have things I want to do today... If your worried you can come and follow me around and 'protect' me otherwise I'm going alone." I say and he frowns.

"I wasn't much good protecting you last night." He mumbles and my heart breaks a little.

"Oh Gerard." I sigh wrapping my arms around him. He held me for a minute.

"Elle please just come back to my house." He sighs.

I shake my head no. "Don't Gerard." I say stepping away from him slightly. "Don't ask me to choose...its not fair." I say my eyes watering up a little. "I HAVE to go to the cemetery...please don't do this to me.. don't make me have to choose" I say and he just looks at me. "Just come with me... please..." I say and he takes the keys from me.

"All right but I get to drive." He says and I smile. Yeah I'm never gonna get to drive my truck...

We get to Walgreen's and I grab a little hand basket thing. "How many packs of cigarettes are you planning on buying?" He asks smiling a little.

"I just need a few things." I say and he makes a face like oh fuck... "Don't worry Gerard...it wont take long." I say wrapping my arm around his and squeezing it a little.

I started filling my basket with assorted crap... I got a bunch of flowers from by the check out stand. Some more vanilla bubble bath cause mine spilt down the drain the other day. A tube of Neosporin, cause when Bob gave me that band aid I realized I didn't have anymore and who knows what kind of germs Gus Gus has...well had... fuck...I was trying to keep my mind busy...Stop from thinking about it so much but it was hard...

Now we were in the vitamin aisle. It was the last aisle in the way way back of the store... I was looking for these vitamin C tablets that my mom always use to give me... She said that they would help ward off colds... And with Gerard breathing his germs all over me yesterday I figured I could use it.. I was looking at all the bottles on the shelf. None of them looked familiar. Gerard was behind me getting a little impatient.

"Come on Elle. Lets just go." He whines in my ear.

"I just wanna find this." I say and he sighs.

"Here this says vitamin C enriched." He says tossing a bottle in the basket. I frown and pull it back out.

"That's not the one I want Gerard." I say roughly and I put it back on the shelf.

"Elle baby please you're killing me." He whines looking at me desperately. "Can we just get out of here?" He says and I frown.

"As soon as I find these we'll go." I tell him.

"Well, what exactly do they look like again?" He says a little defeated, realizing that I was seriously not leaving with out them.

"Its a blue bottle- says something like Nature's Care or umm Naturally Caring or some shit." I tell him and he sighs.

"They're chewable." I say squatting down and looking on the bottom shelf.

"I'm gonna go ask the lady upfront." He says and I nod.

"And get me like 3 packs of cigarettes" I call out and he makes a face.

"Three packs?"  He yells back with uncertainty. I nod insistently. Maybe he doesn't realize how stressed I am... Fuck

I'll probably end up smoking all three packs on the way to the cemetery...

He walks away leaving me searching the shelves.  I couldn't fucking find anything like that...I stand up a little frustrated...Well, it was almost ten fucking years ago that my mom use to buy them for me, I was just a kid...they probably don't even make them anymore...Fuck Elle you're so stupid sometimes. I gave the shelf another quick glance over. I was going to go meet Gerard up front. Tell him how stupid I was when I felt a hand on my waist.

They slid their hand around me and pulled me back against them...Fucking Gerard... He's starting the same shit he pulled in the kitchen yesterday. After everything that's happened does he really think I'm in the mood for his games?

"Gerard." I gasped a little as he squeezed me tight... A little too tight against him... He was crushing me.

"Guess again." A deep voice whispered harshly in my ear as his other hand reached up and covered my mouth tightly.

I looked down in panic... It wasn't Gerard's voice... it wasn't Gerard's arm... All I could see of him was a cross-tattooed on the hand covering my mouth...

And something was digging into my back... and it definitely wasn't his belt buckle...