FicWad

The devil? Is that what he just fucking said to me? I stared at him in horror as he knocked on the Wills parent’s front door.

“What?” He says softly but before I could answer him the door swung open to reveal a very shocked looking Mrs. Cutter.

“Hi Mrs. Cutter.” I say weakly as Mr. Cutter appeared behind her.

“Michelle.” He says and I smiled politely.

“I um… “ I stammered a little.

“Uh please no… uh come in.” Mr. Cutter said. He was just as nervous as I was. “This is Gerard, Gerard Way.” I say taking Gerard's hand in mine as we walked in. You know Gerard Way, the guy who practically beat your son unconscious…’ I was tempted to say but didn’t…

“Uh yeah I figured so much.” Mr. Cutter said as we followed them into their living room. Mrs. C didn’t say anything… But I wasn’t surprised… She hardly ever did. Mr. Cutter seemed to always do the talking for both of them…

“Is Will here?” I ask as we sat. Gerard was looking around the room kinda nervously. We were sitting together on the couch. Mrs. C was sitting in the armchair across from us. Mr. C was standing kinda off to the side, standing over her a bit… I don’t know why, there was plenty of seats…

“Oh um no he's not.” Mr. Cutter says and Gerard squeezed my hand a little tightly.

“Where is he?” Gerard asks clenching his jaw a little.

“We sent him back to New Mexico.” Mr. Cutter says like it was no big deal. Gerard had a puzzled expression on his face. He didn’t know what they were talking about… I did… And I didn’t like it.

“What's in New Mex-“ Gerard started to say.

“You sent him back there!” I cry out talking over Gerard.

“He's going to get the help he needs.” Mr. Cutter says and I shake my head no.

“Not there.” I say more to myself then to anybody else.

“What's in New Mexico?” Gerard asks a little loudly. I guess he didn’t like being left out…

“It’s a Christian behavior modification center.” Mr. Cutter says and I can’t help but snicker. It was a fucking torture camp for teens… Some people think if they put the word ‘Christian’ in front of something its automatically good… How could it be bad? It’s ‘Christian’?

“Wills going to be getting help there dear.” Mrs. Cutter says and Gerard reaches over and puts his hand on my leg and nods a little satisfied…

“No he's not.” I tell her roughly. She just frowned at me. This was horrible…And I should know. I was there too. It was only 3 weeks but they were the worst 3 weeks of my life. At least consecutive weeks…

“Elle.” Gerard nudges me.

“Fuck he’d be better off in jail Gerard…” I whisper at him in response. I think I might have whispered a little too loud cause Gerard made a face and I looked over and Mr. Cutter was frowning too. “This is just horrible.” I tell them both. “How could you do this to your son again.” I say getting worked up.

“That’s not my son.” Mr. Cutter says and I try not to roll my eyes. “My son would have never done such atrocious things that the police have accused him of.” Mr. Cutter says and I just stared at him as he carried on… And carry on he did… His son was somehow led down the wrong path, blah, blah, blah… The youth ministry is going to lead him back to God… I tried not to roll my eyes as he spoke… I mean he had his beliefs and I had mine…

“But that center.” I try to protest when he was finished.

“I'm sorry Elle but we have already arranged for him to serve out his probation there.” Mr. C adds and I bite my lip a little. I was so upset by this it was unbelievable…“That center is exactly where he belongs.” Mr. Cutter tells me and I shake my head no.

“You can’t possibly think that.” I say knowing it was pointless to argue with them.

“He's going to be getting round the clock supervision there Michelle.” Mr. C says and I bite my lip a little.

“And I'm sure with some time and the right medication-“ Gerard adds. I guess trying to make me feel better.

“Medication?” Mr. Cutter scoffs.

“Well yeah I'm sure they can give him something-“ Gerard tries to say.

“A prescription?” Mrs. Cutter gasps and looks up at her husband.

“We don’t believe in medications son.” Mr. C says huffily to Gerard as he looked at him condescendingly.

“What?” Gerard says a little amused.

“The Lord is all my son needs.” Mr. Cutter tells him and Gerard makes a face.

“Your son needs some consuling from a psychiatrist.” Gerard says leaning forward slightly and they both frown.

“They don’t believe in that either.” I tell Gerard and he makes a face.

“He needs professional consuling.” Gerard repeats again and they just looked at him. “He needs help.” Gerard insists.

“And he's going to get it.” Mr. C says getting a little annoyed with us. “Trust me.” He says talking down to us again. “the right vitamins and spiritual routines are better than any psychological counseling and anti-psychotic medication that a doctor could prescribe. The Lord will heal my son of his indiscretions.” Mr. Cutter says and I could see Gerard is about to lose it.

“Indiscretions?” Gerard laughs, “Your SON held a gun to my head.” He says practically getting up off the couch and yelling at them.

“Gerard please.” I say taking his hand back in mine… It was no use trying to argue with them… What's done is done… You can’t change the past. You can’t change people like them. Their faith in God was unwavering… Gerard made a face and squeezed my hand a little in his before sitting back on the couch a little.

“Why exactly did you come here… Michelle?” Mr. Cutter says sharply.

“Uh Will has some stuff of mine.” I say and Mr. Cutter frowned. “I mean Will had taken some things from my house.” I tell him and he just looked at me.

“Are you implying that you think he had broken into your house?” Mr. C says with an arrogant tone and suddenly remembered why I disliked him so much… He would always talk down to me like that… Like I was a sinner, a whore who was bringing his son over to the devil’s side…

“I'm not ‘implying’ anything Mr. C.” I say sweetly. “But if I don’t get my stuff back I'm gonna have to go down to the police station and file a report.” I say bluffing a little. “And I didn’t want to make more trouble for Will. I don’t think any of us want that.” I say and Mrs Cutter looks up at Mr. Cutter a little pathetically…

Fuck I can’t believe I'm selling Will out for my box… I mean I should go down to the police station. Tell them I wanna press charges. Tell them he robbed me… Fuck I’ll tell them he raped me if it’ll get his probation suspended… Maybe in a real jail he can get some help… Will parents kinda exchanged looks a few times… Finally Mr. Cutter spoke…

“Uh why don’t you go take a look upstairs in Wills room dear, see if there's anything you might’ve left the last time you were here.” Mr. Cutter says and I nod… The last time I was here? Oh you mean 2 years ago? Yeah whatever…

Gerard followed me upstairs to Wills room. I was a little nervous to go in… I mean I hadn’t been up here in so long… And who knows what we were gonna find….

As I went to open the door to Will room a feeling terror consumed me… I mean I don’t know what I expected to find in there so I was shocked when I walked in and it was just a room…

Just a plain room… It was freaky cause it looked almost exactly like it did the last time I was there. I don’t know why I was surprised. Will never liked changes… He always kept things so neat and orderly too…Cleanliness is next to Godliness. Or something like that. But I don’t think it was him, I think it was his dad…Fuck why do I want a dad so bad? I mean all they do is seem to fuck up people’s lives…

“Gerard, I think we’re making a mistake.” I say spinning around and facing him. He was slightly behind me. Looking at the crap that was neatly lined up on Wills dresser.

“What?” He says a little taken back by my words.

“This… I can’t...” I stammer on the verge of tears and his face softened.

“What's the matter Elle?” He says reaching for my hand but I stepped back from him… Back towards the door.

“I should’ve went to the police Gerard!” I say wiping my eyes. I wasn’t crying… Just a little teary eyed… Gerard just kinda looked at me and frowned… He didn’t like to see me upset, but he wasn’t sure what to say… “I should’ve went.” I repeat. “I should’ve just fucking listened to you! -He would’ve been better off in jail…” I tell Gerard and he sighs.

“Elle –I” He tries to say but I continue to talk over him…

“I mean I only didn’t want to go cause I didn’t want to cause him more trouble, I figured they’d put him in some sorta detention center and he could get help, but no…” I say shaking my head a little.

“Its not your fault baby.” Gerard says reaching for me again, and again I pull away in disgust… I was disgusted with myself.

"Fuck! How could I be so selfish Gerard!" I cry out.

"You are not selfish" He says but I ignore him…

"I am and like all the fucking time! All I've been going on about the last few days is my box, my box, my fucking BOX! And now I'm gonna get it but at what cost?" I say trying not to cry.

“Elle come here.” He says holding his hand on to me and I just stared at it for a second. “Come on.” He repeats when I don’t move…I slowly step towards him and he pulls me into his arms…

“Oh God.” I sigh a little as he embraced me.

“Now tell me what's the matter love hmm?” He says squeezing me against him.

“I sold Will out.” I say softly into his chest out and I can feel him sigh.

“No Elle.” He says but I ignore him.

“I did. I totally did! Oh God! I can’t believe they sent him back there!” I cry out pulling back from him slightly, covering my face with my hands.

“I'm sure it’s not that bad baby.” I hear Gerard say as he tried to pull me back closer to me.

“It IS!” I exclaim dropping my hands from my face and looking at him in outrage…Not that bad? Is he kidding? “It’s a fucking nazi torture camp.” I sniffle.

“Elle.” He says shaking his head a little at me in confusion. “How do you know that hmm?” He says reaching up to touch my face and I push his hand away.

“Cause I was there Gerard!” I say angrily.

“What?” He says a little surprised and I started to sniffle… Trying to hold back the memories. “When?” He asks me and I shake my head again.

“Years ago, that’s where I hooked up with Will.” I say pulling back from him totally and sitting down on the edge of Wills neatly made bed. Gerard just stood there looking at me. “At the ‘camp’ center in New Mexico.” I clarify.

“You’re not even a catholic.” He says and I frown.

“My papa was.” I frown back. “And that’s hardly a requirement.” I say shrugging a little and he gives me a funny look as he stared at me for a moment…

“And you were in New Mexico cause…?” He says a little annoyed by my silence I guess.

“Cause of Lia.” I say and he nods like that was explanation enough. “Her parents, well her dad found some kinda brochure for it.” I say as Gerard went over and over and opened the closet door and peeked in.

“And?” He encourages me to keep talking as he snooped around the room.

“And? And I don’t know.” I say shrugging again. “They sent Lia out there after umm, after her dad caught her getting high one night.” I say and Gerard nods like I should go on. He was opening Wills drawers now. I don’t know what he thought he was gonna find in there. Everything was so neat and organized… Not one thing out of place… “And umm, well you know Lia- she wouldn’t go unless I did.” I shrugged thinking back. “Didn’t realize it was a cult till we got there.” I added casually and Gerard turned his focus back on to me.

“You were in a cult?” Gerard asks me shutting the drawers a little disappointedly. I guess cause he couldn’t find anything…

“Well, um not really in it.” I say as Gerard kneels down and peeks under the bed.

“not really?” He replies making a face… I guess there was nothing under the bed either…

“No I mean we were only there for a few weeks.” I say and he makes a face as he gets up off the floor.

“Uh-huh” I hear him say and I get the feeling like maybe he wasn’t listening to me so well.

“Well yeah the place really was a nazi tortutre camp.” I say and he half smiles.

“A nazi camp run by Christians?” He says and I frown.

“Gerard I am not kidding.” I say a little annoyed by his attitude.

“Elle, Will is 18 years old.” Gerard tells me.

“He's 19 now.” I say and Gerard nods.

“If he doesn’t want to be there he can leave, he can do his probation like normal people.” Gerard says and I widen my eyes at him.

“Ok first of all normal people don’t ‘do probation’ and B You just cant leave there!” I gasp.

“What?” Gerard replies.

“You just cant walk out Gerard!” I tell him and his looks at me skeptically. “You cant.” I insist. “They make you sign like this waiver thing… they fucking own you.” I say and Gerard frowns. “it’s a cult. They're not gonna let him out.” I say sadly.

“They will eventually.” Gerard says trying to comfort me I guess… Honestly I think he kinda liked the thought of Will not ever getting ‘out’…

“No he’d have to ‘graduate’ and how bad of a shape he’s in… there's no way.” I say a little resigned… I mean maybe with some medicine, but they don’t allow that…Fuck… what kinda fate did I doom Will into…

“Well maybe he‘ll drink the kool-aid” Gerard says interrupting my thoughts and I reached over and swatted his arm.

“Not funny.” I say smiling a little. It was funny but it wasn’t… “Come on, I just want to get out of here all ready.” I tell him and he nodded in agreement.

“Yeah all right lets go.” He says reaching for my hand.

“Wait what about my box?” I ask and he frowned a little. “Arent you gonna get it?” I ask and he makes a face at me.

“There's nothing here Elle, I looked.” He says like I'm stupid and I shake my head a little.

“Fuck Gerard its right here.” I say grabbing the chair by Wills desk and sliding it up against the wall. Gerard looked up at the air vent at the top of the wall.

“In the vent?” He says and I frown a little.

“Yeah, that’s where Will would hide shit from his parents.” I say and Gerard frowns back at me.

“I'm sorry I didn’t know that.” He says a tad sarcastically as I try to pry the vent cover off.

“Its kinda stuck.” I grumble… I mean it probably wasn’t stuck, I just didn’t want to break my nails grabbing at it any harder…”I need like a screwdriver.” I say looking down at Gerard.

“Here, let me.” He says grabbing my waist and lifting me off the chair. He put me down on the floor and climbed up onto the chair himself. He tugged the vent a little. “Fuck.” He mumbles. I guess it really was stuck… He reaches into his pocket and pulls something out and starts prying at the vent with it.

“What the hell is that?” I say looking at the thing his hand.

“It’s a pocket knife.” He says as the vent cover pops open.

“Give it to me.” I demand holding my hand out.

“What?” He says a little amused.

“I'm not kidding Gerard.” I say firmly outstretching my hand a little further.

“Here.” He says handing it to me.

“What the hell is wrong with you huh?” I say harshly to him as I wave his ’pocket knife’ in the air.

“What?” He laughs a little.

“Like I don’t have enough fucking problems Gerard!” I cry out. “I gotta be worried about you carrying shit like this around.” I say and he smiles.

“It’s not a big deal.” He says continuing to smile at me.

“Fucking MEN!” I say shoving his knife into my purse.

“Fucking WOMEN!” He replies as he reaches into the vent and pulls out a rather large brown cardboard box...