FicWad

It was Lia and Mr. S… I mean Lia and ‘John‘… They were coming outside, getting ready to leave I suppose… I mean it was fucking 2 AM and that’s what time the club closes. I mean I never intended to sit here that long, but some how we did… I wonder if Gerard did this on purpose? I mean I wouldn’t put it past him…

Brian was coming out too, but Lia wasn’t walking with him, she was definitely walking with John, like she was gonna go off with him and not with Brian, which didn’t surprise me. I mean she did tell me she was going ‘out’ with ‘John’ after work…but I guess Gerard didn’t know this, or maybe he did and he just didn’t like it. I mean I didn’t like it either, but there was really nothing that we could do about it… And I know he knew that but he jumped out anyway and just went right over towards them.

“What the fuck you think you're doing Lia!” He yells at her and she looked a little startled to see him. I guess she thought we left a long time ago.

“Gerard stop!” I yell out after him, getting out of the truck myself now, and Mr. Samuel widened his eyes at me a little startled. Actually he was beyond startled he looked downright shocked. He shifted his eyes from me to Gerard to Lia, like he didn’t know what the hell was going on. I don’t think he knew that we all knew each other. I mean I don’t know how he would’ve known that cause I don’t think I ever mentioned Lia by name to him…

“Elle get back in the car.” Gerard tells me roughly as I stepped towards him.

“Fine, come on then let’s go.” I tell him grabbing on to his arm and I could see Lia kinda whispering to Mr. S. I guess telling him how she knew us or something…

“Lia lets go! Get your ass over here!” Gerard yells over at her to come with us.

“Fuck you Gerard.” She snaps back and I sighed a little. This was exactly what I was afraid was gonna happen. This is why I told him not to get involved…

“You're not leaving with him!” He tells her and she just stood defiantly.

“I leave with who ever the fuck I want!” She yells back and I cringed. There was no way that this was gonna end well.

“Gerard please.” I say softly but he ignored me and turned his attention on to Brian.

“You're just gonna let her go with him?!” Gerard yells over completely outraged at Brian and Brian just shrugged.

“There’s nothing I can do man.” Brian tries to tell him and Mr. S smiled a little smugly. I could see Gerard's rage building…

“Let’s just go… please.” I beg him once more but he just shook his head no.

“She ain’t fucking leaving with him Elle, she's just not.” He tell me determinedly and I sighed once more… Fuck. He was so stubborn and Lia was too…

“It’s not your decision.” I whispered at him and he shook his head a little like he didn’t care or he didn’t agree or I don’t know…He wasn’t gonna let it go…He wasn’t gonna let her go with him and it fucking killed me watching him stand up for her…

“Lia what the fuck do you think you're doing with him?” He tells her, I guess trying to reason with her. She just kinda smirked back at him.

“Gerard you never liked me. So please -don’t pretend like you give a fuck about me now, all right?” She tells him and he shakes his head like that wasn’t true.

“He's a motherfucker Lia! Why the hell would you even-“ He starts to say and Lia laughed.

“What is this cause of what Elle said?” She laughed and they seem to turn and look at me at the same time.

“I never said anything.” I said weakly looking down at the floor. I mean I never accused Mr. S of doing anything. Ray did. I honestly never talked to Lia about it…but I did tell her about all the other weird shit with him. Like when he touched my skirt that one time in the hall, and how he would look at me funny, and how Ray and Gerard said he was up to no good... But I don’t know… She said I was over exaggerating, that Gerard was too damn controlling. That he was the jealous and possessive type and that I should break up with him…

“Lia he's a sick motherfucking bastard-“ Gerard starts carrying on and I winced a little as he ran through every obscenity known to man. Calling Mr. S everything from a twisted motherfucker to a goddamn pedophile...

“Gerard please.” I begged him to stop to stop after what seemed like forever... I mean he was making a fucking scene in the middle of the parking lot! People were actually looking!

Jimmy was coming out now. He was locking the doors up and kinda glanced over at us, but didn’t say anything... I mean he didn’t give a shit what happened in the parking lot; he only cared what happened inside… I saw that guy that I ran into before too. He was still hanging around… Huh. I wonder if Gerard will go buy me that bag now… I found myself spacing out a little…

“Just fuck off already Gerard.” I hear Lia tell him a little annoyed and I snapped out of my trance and tugged on Gerard's arm asking him to leave once more but he just ignored me and continued to argue with her…

I looked over at Brian like he should do something but he just shrugged like he didn’t want to fucking get involved, but he wasn’t exactly leaving either so I don’t know what was up with him… I guess he just wanted to see how it was gonna end…

I turned and looked over at Mr. Samuel as like a last ditch effort for someone to stop them… He was just like standing there, like he was kinda amused at them bickering… I mean I know he doesn’t like Gerard. In fact I think he likes setting Gerard off for some reason…and he saw what was happening but he wouldn’t stop it either… In fact he kinda reached over and ran his hand down Lia’s back like he was taunting Gerard…He leant over and whispered something in Lia’s ear and she smiled at whatever it was…

“You know what you're a fucking bitch Lia.” Gerard tells her and I bite my lip a little, this was getting out of hand now…

“Gerard.” I scold him a little and he smirked.

“Naw…Enough Elle. Its been enough now.” He says clutching my hand in his. “You go with him you don’t talk to us anymore Lia.” He threatens her and I gasped a little. Did he just say us? I think he did! I don’t believe he just said that!

“What?!” Lia said seeming to be just as surprised as I was that he would say such a thing. And he shook his head a little like he wasn’t gonna take it back…

“Gerard!” I say looking at him pleadingly squeezing his hand.

“Naw, I’m serious. What kinda fucking friend are you?” He tells her and felt like everything was suddenly spiraling out of control. This was not suppose to happen… Why the fuck was this happening.

“Fuck you Gerard.” Lia replies once more.

“You know what you’ve been nothing but a lousy friend to Elle and she's better off with out you.” He tells her waving his finger at her and I cringed once more… I was just unable to believe that he was actually doing this. He was putting me in the middle of them… No wait he wasn’t… He wasn’t actually giving me that choice! He was just cutting Lia out of my life and I couldn’t seem to find the words to stop him…

“Elle?” She says looking over at me and I was just totally speechless… But its not like I could’ve even said anything. Gerard wouldn’t let me get a word in edgewise…

“You're a fucking bitch Lia.” He carries on. “You're gonna pick HIM over her!” He tells her and she looked at right at me like if I agreed with what he was saying…He looked over at me too…

“I'm not telling her to pick.” I say weakly and Gerard shook his head a little disappointedly at me.

“Naw that’s why I'm doing it Elle.” Gerard declares. “You never say shit.” He tells me and Lia laughed sharply.

“So you're just gonna run her life for her now?!” She says and I kinda frowned… I mean she sorta had a point… “Elle?” She demands and I just kinda shrugged and she rolled her eyes at me. “Don’t let him fucking control you Elle.” She tells me and I just looked down at the floor and didn’t say anything. I could hear Lia cursing at me under her breath too. I mean she was mad.

She was mad at me too now and I wasn’t sure why… I mean I think she was mad cause I didn’t say anything. But honestly I didn’t know what to say… Gerard was just upset… and I remembered what he said about respecting him. I wasn’t gonna start an argument with him in the middle of the street right now, especially not in front of her, or John Samuel… I figured once he settled down I could talk to him. Reason with him… I wasn’t just gonna let this go, Lia’s my friend. I wasn’t gonna let him cut her out of my life … But I certainly wasn’t gonna get in the middle of their fight… Gerard squeezed my hand tightly in his and I looked up at him. Pleading him to just stop with my eyes but he wouldn’t…

“Look you wanna pick him.” Gerard says to her, gesturing over roughly at Mr. S. “You wanna go off and fuck him, be his little teenage slut, go right ahead Lia, but don’t you come back fucking crying- don’t even fucking come back around no more.” He tells her harshly and I could feel my eyes tearing up…

“Slut?” Lia laughed a little. “You think I'm a slut?” She yells out all worked up herself now. She was kinda glaring at me too… “I cant count the number of people I’ve fucked on one hand can your precious little Elle say the same?” She says and I just looked at her totally shocked all though I don’t know why… I mean that’s what Lia does when she's hurt… She attacks…

But I don’t know who she was trying hurt more with her words…Gerard or me…

“You're a real bitch Lia.” Gerard tells her and I tug his hand like lets just go all ready. I mean I know Lia and I didn’t have enough strength to deal with all this right now… “You know how fucking old he is Lia?!” Gerard's voice cries out. “That’s fucking sick Lia. You wanna slut around with a man that age. What kinda fucking whore are you?” He tells her and she smirks a little.

“Like Elle hasn’t?” She says and my jaw dropped open a little.

“I never touched him-“ I gasped looking over at Mr. S.

“True.” Mr. S says finally speaking up. “But its not like you didn’t want to.” He smiles at me and I feel Gerard starting to pull away from me. “I mean you were practically throwing yourself at me.” He says and I gasped a little trying to hold Gerard back. But Brian reached up and put his arm out and stopped him… He said something to him to but I couldn’t make out what it was…

My head was spinning. I mean it was exactly what I had feared. Mr. Samuel thought I was leading him on… It was all my fault. It was all so clear now…

“He's fucking 36 years old Lia!” Gerard cries out and Lia shrugs. “What kinda girl would-“ He starts to say and she laughs.

“Elle. Your girl…that’s what kind, you think Elle’s never been with anybody that old? No he was actually older wasn’t he Elle?” She says and I cringed a little. Gerard just looked at her a little confused.

“Fuck you Lia.” I tell her and she smiled that evil smile of hers and I felt my heart tightening up.

“You're not saying?” Gerard's voice kinda wavered a little. He was thinking Brutus, but he wouldn’t say it…

“Naw I'm talking about him, I'm talking about the guy Elle lost her virginity to.” She says and I looked down at the floor. “How old was he Elle?” She taunts me and I didn’t answer her. “Thirty something right? Not quite forty” She kinda laughed and I didn’t say anything. “But you know now that you brought up Brutus why don’t you tell him the truth about what happened Elle?” She says and I looked up at her totally stunned.

“What?” I gasped.

“Aw come on!” She laughs. “You went over there and got high and fucked him and then what? You felt bad about it? Thought Gerard would be pissed if he found out- so you made up that story right?” She says and I suddenly felt incredibly light headed…

“No!” I gasped a little. I mean why would she say such a horrible thing?

“Are you fucking crazy Lia?!” Gerard exclaimed reaching his hand up and placing it on my back. I think he thought I was gonna faint. And honestly I thought I was going to too...

“Naw come on! He didn’t fucking rape her Gerard! She had one shitting bruise on her cheek, and I bet it was from Paul too!” She cries out and I just shut my eyes unable to deal anymore. “You covered for him right Elle?” She says and I shook my head no.

“No.” I barely whispered unable to find my voice.

“I bet you fucked him too right Elle?” She carried on. “I mean you stayed with him for Christmas. That’s probably why you were so upset when you thought you were pregnant. Cause you didn’t know whose it was. You figured all your fucking lies were coming crashing down on you right? So you pretend to slit your wrist?! Get some sympathy maybe?” She laughs. “You're fucking pathetic.” She says to me and I couldn’t bear to answer her…I couldn’t move. I couldn’t think. I couldn’t breathe…Her words swirling around my head, shredding me up inside…

“Uh Lia.” I hear Mr. S say softly and then he mumbled something I couldn’t understand…I felt myself starting to tremble. I mean I know Lia didn’t see any of the bruises. I hid them from her… But Mr. S saw some of them on my neck. And he always asked me about them, I mean he asked me lots of times. But I never told him what happened…I think he thought they were from Gerard… Maybe that’s why he never liked him… I don’t know… But I never told Mr. S I was raped and honestly I was never going to…

But I didn’t have to tell him… Lia did… I mean he wasn’t stupid. I know he was putting all the pieces together in his head… The bruises, the bandage and now the scar that was left on my wrist…Lia was cutting me open. Exposing my pain for all the world to see and I didn’t know why…

Cause I didn’t stick up for her with Gerard? Cause she thought I chose him over her? I mean did she really hate me that much? I never did anything to her. I’ve always tried to be such a good friend… I guess I just wasn’t good enough…

I'm never enough.

I suddenly felt this overwhelming desire to just run… I wanted to get away… I needed to get away…

So I ran. Or at least I tried too… I didn’t get very far… I mean I made it back to my truck and I climbed in. Gerard had left the keys in the ignition and I started it right up…I wanted to just drive away… Drive off a bridge maybe… I don’t know…

But Gerard was only two steps behind me… He kinda reached in and pushed me over. Forcing me out of the drivers seat and into the passengers…

I just pulled my knees up and hugged them tightly against my chest and buried my head down in to a little ball and just shook. I mean I wasn’t even crying… I was beyond crying… Like that day I sat on my mother’s grave…

Fuck. I wanted my mother back so badly…

“Elle.” I hear Gerard say softly but I didn’t answer him… I couldn’t answer him… I could faintly hear the sounds of Brian arguing with Lia now… Something about Crystal and I don’t know…

“Please get me out of here.” I whisper and I hear Gerard exhale a little and then I felt the car moving… I didn’t have my seatbelt on, but I didn’t really care… We drove a few blocks in silence before I lifted my head up…

“Gerard I'm so sorry.” I tell him and he looked over at me like he didn’t know what I was talking about.

“What?” He says a little confused.

“About the things Lia said Gerard.” I tell him and he frowned at her name…

“Elle don’t even…” He begins to shake his head at me.

“No Gerard. Don’t you see… the things she said, they were true…”