FicWad

I don't know if Ray saw Laura’s expression or what but he let go of my hand and pulled his keys out from his pocket as we walked over to the door. Laura was already kinda by it but she didn’t wait for him to open it for her, like he always does… She just opened it herself and walked out kinda abruptly... Ray sorta caught the door before it slammed on us and as I went through it, I felt a hand run down my back real slowly, caressingly almost…

“What the fuck Ray?” I kinda mumbled as I glanced over my shoulder. But it wasn’t Ray it was Gerard… I don't know where the fuck he came from but there he was, right behind me, and Ray was behind him.

“So where we going for lunch my love?” He kinda whispered in my ear as we stepped outside. And I don't know if it was just cause it was cold out or what, but the sensation of his breath so hot on my neck like that was starting to stir up something deep inside me that I couldn’t control, but I bit my tongue a little and tried my best to stay focused in my anger towards him…

“You know Mikey walked me to class!” I say feigning surprise and he pulled his face back from my neck slightly.

“Uh really.” Gerard coughed a little as we went down the steps.

“Uh- huh.” I tell him giving him a hard stare and he shifted his eyes slightly. “Gerard?” I demand and he shrugged when we reached the bottom. I folded my arms across my chest and just looked at him. He shifted his eyes around once more and I guess caught a glimpse of Laura...

“Oh hey Laura- my girl! what's up?” He cried out like he hadn’t seen her in years. He took a step back from me in what was obviously an effort to I don't know… stall maybe? Maybe he thought I’d get distracted and like forget what we were talking about or something… But I wasn’t going to, not this time…

“Uh not much Gerard.” Laura said sounding a little anxious as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder as we walked towards Ray’s car…

“So where we going for lunch Laura? Hmm?” He says squeezing her against him a little and I smiled.

“Gerard.” I sighed and he kinda waved his hand at me like not now… Like he was too busy talking to Laura to answer me…

“Well Laura?” He says focusing his complete attention on her now and I rolled my eyes a little… Nice try Way… But he couldn’t avoid me forever…

“Uhhh I don't know… uh Ray? sweetie?” She said her voice suddenly taking on a higher pitch and Ray shrugged as he unlocked his car.

“Well wherever you wanna go Laura- it’s my treat.” Gerard tells her as she got into the front seat and I tried not to smile.

“Oh its your treat?” I teased him as I climbed into the back and Gerard laughed as he got in.

“Yeah why not? I can afford it.” He says and I shrugged a little. He was in such a good mood all of a sudden, and I don't know, seeing him smile was making me smile. I just loved to see him happy like that… Fuck, there was no way I was gonna start shit with him now…and do I really have to say anything? I mean he knows that I know that he made Mikey walk me to class. And he knows it upset me…

But shit, he was in such a good mood, I just couldn’t bring him down like that with my bitching. And him being in a good mood like that put me in a good mood… and Ray seemed to be in a good mood too…The only one who seemed a little out of it was Laura…

“So where are we going Laura?” Ray asked her and she sorta shrugged.

“Oh I don't know.” She said softly and she kinda glanced over her shoulder at me and Gerard and then quickly turned back around…

“Well wherever we go can we just go by my house first please Ray-Ray?” I ask leaning forward a little and Ray shrugged like he didn’t care.

“Ray-Ray?” Laura kinda muttered to herself and I laughed.

“Yeah that’s what I'm gonna call him from now on- my Ray-Ray.” I giggled and Gerard rolled his eyes a little.

“Enough with the fucking hyphens baby.” Gerard grumbled and I laughed again.

“Hey don't be jealous cause Ray-Ray’s in my ‘secret club’ too now.” I tell him and he smirked at me.

“I'm in the club now?” Ray said a little excitedly. I mean he knew about my not so secret friendship club with Bob. It was like a big joke. Everyone knew… I mean I thought everyone knew…

“Of course you’re in the club Ray, you're my friend right?” I tell him and he grinned looking at me in his rearview mirror.

“I sure am Elle.” He exclaims and I got the feeling he was kinda mocking me but I didn’t care. Ray was my friend. He was a good friend and I loved him for it.

“You have a ‘club’?” Laura asks wrinkling her face a little as she looked over her shoulder at me and Gerard.

“Don't ask!” Gerard kinda rolled his eyes a little and I nudged him with my elbow.

“Yeah I have a club- a secret club.” I tell her and she just looked at me a little blankly. And I don't know why, but I was just so sure that Ray had told her about it…maybe she had just forgotten or something... “Aw come on Laura, you know -my club.” I repeat once more and I flash her Bobby and I ’s secret ‘shocker’ handshake gesture and she widened her eyes at me a little.

“Holy shit Elle!” Gerard cries out pulling my hand down roughly. “What the fuck did I tell you about doing that huh?” He says and I giggled a little.

“Mmm I think you said not to.” I tell him cheekily as he pulled me back against him. He kinda laughed too as he twisted my face up to his.

“Shit lemme see your eyes baby, you still fucked up?” He says and I sighed a little as he examined them. He kinda stroked my cheeks in his hands and I couldn’t help but nuzzle my nose against his as he tried to look my eyes over. His face was just so close to mine and I was just in such a giggly mood. I know he was trying to be serious but I just couldn’t help myself… “Elle!” He kinda laughed and I giggled once more, which I suppose made Ray laugh… I don't think Laura found it amusing though…

“I'm fine Gerard!” I laughed. “I'm just hungry.” I tell him and he smiled.

“Well as soon as Laura picks-“ He says and I shrugged.

“Whatever’s close to Elles’ I suppose.” Laura says sounding a little distracted. She shifted her eyes from me and Gerard to Ray and I was gonna ask her if she was alright but I didn’t get a chance… I mean I was leaning forward to you know, whisper at her if she was okay but Gerard kinda pulled me back a little.

“What do we gotta go to your house for Elle?” He asks me. “I thought you got everything you could.” He says as I leant back slightly against him.

“Yeah I did, but I wanted to check the mail.” I say and he kinda paused a second.

“The mail?” He says like maybe he didn’t hear right.

“Mm hmm.” I reply and he sorta frowned…

“Uh actually Elle, I don't think they're gonna deliver mail to your house like that.” Ray says and I shook my head in disagreement.

“Mr. Portman said he’d hold it for me.” I tell him and he shrugged like whatever. I mean Ray didn’t seem to care but Gerard did…

“You expecting something in the mail baby?” Gerard asks and I nodded.

“Uh yeah sorta…I wanna see if my father sent me anything back.” I tell him and it seemed like his good mood was beginning to fade.

“Elle fucking 18 years he never sent you shit. You think he's gonna write you back now?” He says and I felt my heart clenching up a little.

“Yeah I do!” I say defensively and Gerard shook his head a little, like he couldn’t believe I was so stupid… “What?” I demand as I pulled back from him. “He's my father Gerard. Of course he's gonna care.” I say and Gerard smirked at me.

“You think cause he's your father he's gonna just automatically ‘care’ about you?” He says with a wicked tone to his voice and I slid as far away from him as I could in the backseat…”Blood like that means shit Elle.- You mean shit to him.” He says and his words were cutting me so deeply… Why the hell was he being so mean?

“That’s not true.” I said softly trying to hold back my tears and Gerard exhaled a little loudly. Like he was right and I was wrong and he was tired of having to explain it to me…

“Uh, Gerard.” Ray kinda coughed a little and Gerard shrugged.

“Naw it’s fucking true…” He says and he shook his head a little like he knew he was right. Ray licked his lips a little but didn’t say anything, and Laura kinda slid down in her seat like she was trying to disappear… we were almost at my house too now…

“Fuck you Gerard.” I spat at him.

“Elle my father walked out one day and never looked back.” He says and I kinda made a face at him.

“I met your father Gerard.” I tell him a little annoyed. I mean what the fuck is he trying to pull?

“He's not my father.” Gerard says obviously referring to Mr. Way and I just kinda looked at him like I didn’t believe him. “He's Mikey’s father- but not mine.” Gerard says plainly and I frowned.

“He's not?” I asked and Gerard shook his head a little but wouldn’t look me in the eyes.

“Where’s your father then?” I asked and he scratched his head a little. “You don't know where he is?” I ask him softly and his eyes lit up in rage.

“I know where he is.” He says roughly and I licked my lips a little looking at him.

“You don't wanna talk to him?” I ask cautiously.

“Talk to him?!” Gerard cried a out a little louder then I think he intended. “Elle if I fucking see him again I'm gonna kill him.” He says and I cringed a little. “Fucking bastard use to beat my mom.” He adds gritting his teeth a little as he spoke.

“Oh Gerard.” I sighed and he shook his head like he was trying to clear the thoughts from his mind.

“Use to beat me too.” Gerard says lowering his voice down and I frowned… How come I didn’t know any of this? I mean we talked about his family before, but he's never mentioned this... Not that its something that like you'd just bring up in random conversations though...

“Gerard I didn’t…” I stammered a little looking at him… I mean it made a lot of sense… How protective he was over his mother and his grandmother and even over me sometime And all those times he would try to discourage me from putting my dad up on a pedestal in my mind… I never understood why until now…

"Elle don't." He said softly like he was reading my mind. Like he knew I was blaming myself for not knowing this. For not knowing him as well as he knows me. I mean I'm an open book. I wear all my emotions on my sleeve. Out on display for everyone to see. And I thought I knew him. I thought I knew everything about him but it turns out theres a whole other chapter I just never turned the page cause I was so self centered in my own life...

"I'm sorry Gerard." I barely whispered at him and he squeezed my hand a little to let me know he heard me I suppose but he didn't say anything back...

“Look Elle, all I'm trying to tell you is that just cause he's your dad- doesn’t mean he loves you or he's good.” He says and I nodded a little in agreement.

“Yeah I get it Gerard, but he's never proven that he's not.” I say softly and he frowned.

“Elle he's in prison for fucking murder.” He says and I shook my head no quickly.

“Okay first of all, you don't know that.” I say lowering my eyes a little. I mean he was probably right but I just had to cling to my denial.

“Elle!” He sorta laughed.

“No it could’ve just been a mistake.” I say full well knowing it probably wasn’t.

“Ray you wanna help me out here?” Gerard says raising his voice slightly cause he was getting frustrated with me now…and I couldn’t really blame him.

“No Ray, look.” I say cutting him off before he could talk. “I mean that all may be, but my dad did send me something, he did care…he does.” I say insistently.

“What did he send you?” Ray asked a little confused.

“I don't really know, whatever was in that box…”I say my voice trailing off slightly.

“I thought that was from that chick?” Ray asked and I frowned…

“Yeah, no it was.” I stammered slightly. “But Slim said there was a key or something. Something my dad wanted me to have” I tell him glancing over at Gerard. I guess Gerard didn’t tell him any of this yet.

“There was a key in the box?” Ray asked and I shrugged.

“I dunno. I didn’t open the box.” I tell him even though he already knew. “All we found in it was Bow-Bow right?” I ask Gerard and he nodded.

“Yeah.” He sorta sighed rubbing his neck a little as he reflected back. Ray must’ve been doing some reflecting too.

“Ok so what we know is-” He starts to say and I couldn’t help myself from bursting out laughing. I was still so fucked up. “What?” Ray pauses and just looked at me. Hell they were all looking at me now.

“Oh no Im sorry Ray, I didn’t realize it was time for the daily recap!” I tease him and he rolled his eyes a little.

“Im just making sure were not missing something.” He tries to explain and I shrugged.

“But we are. Were missing the key.” I point out and no one said anything so I kept talking. “And you cant open a lock with out a key.” I start to babble. “Bow-Bows a bear, he cant open a lock either cause hes made of only stuffing and keys arent. Theyre metal right?” I pause and Ray smiled a little amused but gestured for me to go on, “Okay and the note-” I begin to say and Ray cuts me off.

“What note?” He sounded surprised.

“Oh there was a note in the box.” I glanced over at Gerard. I guess he didn’t tell him yet.

“What did it say?” I hear Ray ask snapping me back to conversation.

“Oh it was just some letters and numbers.” I blurt out and Ray cocked his eyebrows up in interest.

“You mean like a code?” Ray glanced over a little excitedly.

“No. I don’t know.” I shifted a little in my seat. My buzz was wearing on and off so quickly. One second I was flying, the next I was crashing, then flying again. I didn’t like it…

“Yeah like a key code.” Ray says dragging out the words a little and Gerard mumbled something but I couldn’t make it out. “I bet that’s what that guy wanted Elle.” Ray points out and I shrugged. I mean it was a nice theory and all but it didn’t seem likely to me. I mean these were complicated number sequences or nothing. It was more like a list.

“Yeah I guess.” I tell him, I mean I wasn’t really sure what creepy blue-eyed dude wanted, or who he was, but I knew I had to stop calling him creepy blue-eyed dude…

“What guy?” Laura asks trying to make sense of what were saying.

“Uh Frank Sinatra.” I reply and they all kinda laugh. “What isn’t that like his nickname?” I asked and Gerard rolled his eyes a little but I didn’t care. He was kinda smiling again so that’s all that mattered… “I mean that’s what my papa use to call him ‘ol blue eyes.” I tell them and Ray nods.

“Yeah I suppose so Elle.” Ray agrees with me and I smiled as Gerard put his hand on my leg.

“Well, I don’t know Ray. I don’t think its likely but I guess I’ll ask him when I see him tomorrow.” I shrug and I felt Gerard tense up.

“See who?” He demands.

“Uh Sinatra.” I tell him and I could see him trying to figure out what the fuck I was talking about…”I'm suppose to meet him tomorrow at Point Pleasant, remember?” I tell him and he shook his head no quickly.

“Elle you are not going.” He says like it was already decided…and it was decided. I had decided that I was going…

“Uh yeah I am going.” I tell him firmly and he smirked.

“Alone?” He says like he was mocking me.

“Actually, Bob is taking me.” I say and he suddenly got this amused look on his face.

“Oh he is now?” He kinda chuckled.

“Well yeah don't you remember, he promised to take me to the aquarium Gerard.” I tell him a little uneasily… I wasn’t quite sure why he was laughing but he was…

“When did he ever do that?” Gerard smirked and I frowned.

“When we were in bed that night. He specifically said to me-“ I start to say and Ray cut me off.

“Wait you and Bob were in bed?” He says glancing over like maybe he didn’t hear right.

“Uh yeah.” I tell him and he gave me a funny look, like I don't know… Like something Mikey would’ve done… “Gerard was there too. We were all in bed together” I add quickly and Ray kinda wrinkled his face a little. I mean he was driving and he couldn’t keep turning around to look at us. And it seemed like he wanted to say something but he couldn’t find the words.

“Elle he only said that so you’d shut the fuck up.” Gerard says insistently and I pouted a little.

“No Gerard he meant it.” I whined a little."I mean you dont fucking say shit like that to people in bed to get them to do something if you dont mean it." I start to carry on... I was getting all upset. I mean Bob wouldn’t lie to me… He said he was taking me! He fucking promised! There was no way he was gonna back on his word…

“Oh my god I get it!” Laura cried out and I looked at her like what the hell was she talking about...

“Get what?” Ray asks and she rubbed the side of her head a little as she spoke.

“You guys are all like swingers right?” She says and Ray started choking.

“We’re what?” I ask a little confused.

“You all like switch partners or something.” She says sounding a little horrified and I looked over at Gerard like what the hell is she talking about.

“Who the fuck told you that?” Gerard asked her grinning a little. I guess he thought it was funny.

“Elle.” She replies and Gerard kinda looked at me in disbelief.

“Elle!?” I cried out my own name in shock. “No, no, no! Elle never said that!” I started to laugh as Ray glared over at me… He had finally caught his breath and he had nothing to say…

“Uh Laura no.” He tries to say but she shook her head no and shifted in her seat slightly.

“I'm sorry Ray, I just don't… I mean I don't care like if you guys but I…uh..” She stammered a little. “I don't really do things like that. If I had known I would’ve never agreed to go out with you.” She tells him and I could see things starting to slip out of control.

“Laura.” He says once more but she talked over him.

“No I'm sorry Ray but I can’t really go out with you anymore and I’d appreciate it if you’d pull the car over and let me out…like now.”