FicWad

“Jade?” I repeated back sharply and Crystal peeked out from the kitchen at me. I guess the tone of my voice caught her attention. ”You're with Jade?” I tell him and as I said her name it seemed to stick on the tip of my tongue and I didn’t like it. Not one bit…

“Uhh yeah.” Gerard replies slowly.

“Oh how nice.” I tell him snidely. He went to say something else but I couldn’t hear him. This overwhelming wave of anger just passed over me. It totally consumed me and all I could feel was this intense desire to kill him.

“Baby-“ He says and that just set me off.

“Don't fucking baby me!” I snap back at him “I needed you and you were home! Getting high with that fucking skank?” I yelled into the phone and he went to say something but I wouldn’t let him. “Fuck you Gerard.” I said and then I went to slam the phone down but it was cordless so instead I pushed the off button as hard as I could. But it wasn’t quite the same satisfaction. I would’ve thrown the fucking phone across the room except it wasn’t mine. “Rrrrgh.” I cried out in frustration and Brian looked over at me nervously. He then gulped down the rest of his beer and ducked back into the kitchen. Crystal on the other hand seemed intrigued and stepped out into the living room.

“You okay?” She says to me. I know she fucking heard me, she was just asking to be polite.

“Fucking men! You know?” I tell her and she smiled.

“Uh no I don't I'm a lesbian remember?” She says and I couldn’t help but smile back at her. I guess she really didn’t know then. “But chicks are no easier.” She added and I could only imagine she was referring to her disaster of a relationship with Lia. I would’ve asked her but the phone started ringing again in my hand. I looked down at the caller ID. It was Gerard. I pushed the on button and he started talking before I even said hello…

“Elle don't hang up.” He says and I sighed a little but didn’t say anything. “Nothing happened I swear.” He tells me and I wanted to believe him so badly but it was hard.

“Come on Gerard.” I tell him. I mean I wasn’t stupid. “What the fuck were you doing with her then? Just sitting around talking? Playing yahtzee?” I tell him and he sorta chuckled but quickly stopped when I didn’t chuckle back.

“I needed a ride home, so I called her.” He says and I rolled my eyes a little.

“You called HER. Out of all people Gerard.” I tell him and it was silent. “I mean you could’ve fucking called Ray.” I tell him and he sniffled again. I guess he had nothing to say back to that cause it was true. He always calls Ray! And if not Ray he could’ve called… mmm… well Frankie don't drive, and neither does Mikey…so he could’ve called Ray… “Or ummm Ray!” I exclaim out once more. “But no you fucking called Jade right?” I tell him.

“You left with Bob.” He says weakly and I can feel my anger building again.

“I did not!” I tell him through gritted teeth and he sighed a little.

“I mean I thought you did.” He says weakly and I rubbed my forehead a little.

“I don't understand how neither one of you knew I was gone!” I tell him gritting my teeth once more. “And how the fuck did Bob even leave- I have his keys!” I cried out and Gerard coughed a little.

“You took his keys too?” He says and I scrunched my face up.

“What?” I asked and he coughed once more.

“You took my keys baby. I almost had to fucking climb through my window.” He says and he started saying something about Mikey but I couldn’t hear him. I was digging through my coat pocket.

“What do your keys look like?” I say looking down at keys in my hand.

“Uh like keys.” He replied and I shook my head a little. Shit… these weren’t even Bobbys keys… these were Gerard's… Damn am I stupid sometimes. Shit what do I mean sometimes. I'm stupid all the time…

“Ah well good thing Mikey was home or you would’ve had to go spend the night with you're little coke slut.” I tell him and I don't know what possessed me to say it but I did.

“Elle please she's gone now and nothing happened I swear.” He added pathetically and I could feel my heart aching. I was glad she was gone but still… He was trying to just brush this under the rug and I didn’t want to, not just yet…

“So you called her and what?” I asked him and he groaned a little.

“And nothing baby.” He replied plainly.

“Nothing?” I repeated back in disbelief. He knew what I was asking he just didn’t want to answer…

“Well I don't know Elle.” He mumbled a little.

“But it would’ve?” I asked cautiously and he sighed loudly before answering me.

“The truth?” He says and I bit my lip as I answered him.

“Would be nice.” I say sharply and he sniffled again.

“I don't know maybe…” He says and I felt a pain go through my heart, “Shit I thought you fucking left me for Bob.” He adds and the pain in his voice threw me off.

“I don't understand why you thought I’d leave you like that!” I exclaimed. “And with him like that!” I added.

“Cause he fucking wants you!” He sorta yelled back at me. “Damn how dense are you baby -he took your fucking underwear!” He said raising his voice up even more and I cowered a little. Shit…

“Okay umm he didn’t take them Gerard.” I say softly and there was silence on the line for a second.

“Shit, Will…” He says but I think he was just thinking out loud.

“Uh no not Will.” I tell him and he seemed to shift the phone a little.

“Huh?” He sorta mumbled.

“I said it wasn’t Will.” I repeated a little louder and he didn’t say anything. “I'm umm wearing them.” I added a little softer.

“Fuck baby” He sorta chuckled at me. He seemed to think it was funny, I guess cause he was fucked up but I didn’t…

“I'm real sorry Gerard.” I tell him and he snickered once more.

“Shit Elle.” He says like he was still amused but it faded quickly.

“You need to apologize to Bob.” I tell him and he was suddenly serious once more.

“Like hell I will.” He replied dryly and I frowned.

“Are you trying to upset me?” I said raising my voice up. “Fuck you're on thin ice already Gerard.” I tell him and he exhaled a little loudly.

“Elle.” He sighed my name but I wasn’t having it.

“No you fucking fix this Gerard. I don't care what you say or how you say it -You were wrong and you will apologize - end of story.” I declared and he hesitantly agreed.

“Fine, I'm coming over to get you.” He says and I shrieked in disagreement.

“Fuck no you're high! You're not driving!” I yelled at him.

“So?” Was his reply.

“So –no” I tell him firmly.

“Well then have Brian bring you here.” He says and I looked over at Brian who was now downing his third beer in the kitchen.

“No he's drinking Gerard.” I tell him and he grumbled in response.

“Shit baby.” He tells me and I could hear his disappointment in his voice. He needed me and I needed him, but it just wasn’t meant to be… For tonight at least…

“Its okay I’ll just stay here tonight.” I tell him and I pulled the phone from my ear and looked over at Brian. I mean I was being a little presumptuous and I knew it. What the fuck was wrong with me! Inviting myself to stay with them like that! “can I?” I whispered at Brian and he nodded. Crystal did too. Gerard was still talking all this time, I sorta missed what he was saying. I did catch the end though - something about the couch, or me on the couch… “The couch? What about the couch?” I asked him.

“Aren’t you sleeping on the couch?” He says and I shook my head a little.

“Uh no, I cant sleep on the couch not alone like that.” I tell him and he started to get all worked up.

“Elle, you ain’t staying with Brian, not in his bed! I’ll fuck him up.” He says and I couldn’t help but smile. He yelled it so loud I had to pull the phone from my ear. Brian heard him too.

“I’ll stay with Crystal then.” I tell him and he laughed.

“That’s not much better baby.” He says and I smiled.

“Gerard please. I'm sure she can control herself.” I tell him and Crystal kinda laughed.

“Gimme that phone.” She says snatching it from me. “Yeah I’ll try to control myself Gerard.” She teased him and I don't know what he said cause she laughed. “Ah yeah that she is.” She says and I smiled too but I don't know why. I guess cause she was…”Here say goodnight.” She tells me holding the phone in the air.

“Goodnight baby!” I yelled out and Brian laughed.

“Yeah goodnight baby.” He mimicked me and Gerard said something but you couldn’t really hear it. Brian snatched the phone from Crystal now. “Ah we’ll take good care of your girl Way.” He tells him and Crystal kinda tugged me to come along.

“Come on Elle. I’ll get you a blanket.” She says but I was hesitant to leave with Gerard still on the phone like that. I didn’t want to let him go…

“Did you talk to Jay yet man? You going in on it or what?” Brian says into the phone and I paused in the doorway and stared over at him. He meant whatever that shit was that Jay called about earlier… I guess Gerard was telling him no too cause Brian sorta frowned. “Yeah no that’s cool.” He tells him. “Uh but Jay still wants to ask Ted, you got his number I’ll call him up now.” He says and I licked my lips a little nervously.

I don't know what kinda excuse Gerard gave him for not wanting to give him Teddys number but it had to be a lie. I mean teddy doesn’t have a phone! He's a bear… Brian mumbled something back and then hung up. I suddenly wanted to get the fuck out of there before he asked me for Teddys number too. I hated lying!

“Elle wait-“ Brian called out and I spun around slowly.

“Um I don't have Teddy number its in my purse!” I blurt out quickly and Brian sorta frowned.

“Uh no don't worry about it Jay’ll just talk to him when he sees him in the morning.” He says and I wrinkled my face a little. I mean Jay couldn’t talk him! And he certainly wasn’t gonna be seeing him! I mean Teddy was fucking buried in my backyard! – Shit, he was fucking bullshitting me, but whatever. I'm just a stupid girl I guess. Only big smart men can be drug dealers…

“Oh okay then goodnight Brian.” I tell him and he sorta smiled.

“Wait I wanna ask you something, and it’s important…”