FicWad

“Important? What do you mean important?” I repeated back to him and he just nodded but didn’t say anything... Shit… this doesn’t look good. He motioned for me to like follow him into the kitchen so I did… There on the kitchen table sat Wills gun. He sorta looked at it and then looked at me. “Ohhh.” I nodded understandingly. “You mean about the gun.” I tell him and he nodded.

“Uh yeah what did you wanna-“ He says like I'm suppose to decide what to do with it.

“Oh uh, I guess we should throw it out.” I tell him as I snatched the gun up off the table. I glanced around the room for the garbage pail but I didn’t see it. “Um you have a trash can in here?” I asked him and he raised his eyebrows up at me.

“You're gonna throw it in the trash?” He says and I frowned.

“Oh yeah I guess that’s not a good idea.” I tell him and he smirked a little as he popped open another beer. “You guys recycle right?” I say to him and he looked at me questioningly once more. “I mean like cans are metal and like guns are metal- and you recycle cans-“ I start to tell him and he shook his head a little as he took the gun back from me.

“No Elle.” He says and now I was raising my eyebrows questioningly at him. “I mean - yes guns are metal but you can’t recycle them.” He says and I shrugged.

“Well then I’ll fucking bury it in my backyard.” I tell him and he sorta laughed but I didn't "I wasn’t kidding." I tell him "I mean it wouldn’t be the first thing I buried in my yard…" I add and he laughed once more.

“Naw Elle I was thinking like…” He sighed a little as he starting wiping my prints off the gun once more. “You know that if you didn’t want it, that like maybe-“ He stammered and I frowned.

“Brian you don't want it, do you?” I said a little shocked and he shrugged. “What the fuck you gonna do with that?” I tell him and looked up at me a little guilty.

“Uh sell it?” He says and I scoffed. “I'm serious Elle.” He says and I sat down at the table next to him.

“You don't even know that it works.” I tell him and he shook his head a little. “Naw it works look.” He says and he went on to show me how it works. I mean I had told him how I wanted to know so he showed me.

Seven empty beer cans later Brian had declared me a firearms expert. Okay well he didn’t actually say that. I did and he laughed but he didn’t say I wasn’t… Aw Gerard wasn’t gonna be happy about it either, but Gerard wasn’t here… He was never here when I needed him so whatever… And Brian knew a lot about guns. I guess cause he wanted to join the army or marines or whatever.

“We can get a nice penny from this.” He says and my eyes lit up.

“I like pennies! Specially shiny ones!” I tell him or should I say it was the alcohol talking. Between the beers I slammed with him and the pill from before I was so wasted. He just laughed as he spun the gun on the table. He was pretty wasted too.

“-So what do you say Elle? I’ll split it with ya?” He says referring to money he’d make from selling it. “You’d have a bunch of shiny pennies!” He says teasing me and I shook my head a little trying to focus. I may have been wasted, but I knew right from wrong. And this wasn’t right… I mean all kidding aside he wants to fucking sell a gun on the street? I shuddered thinking about who he would even know that would want one… And what if they did something bad with it? Well fuck Elle, of course they're gonna do something bad with it! That’s what they're for…

“Naw, Brian, honestly I don't understand why you’d wanna mix yourself up in shit like this.” I tell him as seriously as I could muster. He kinda tried to brush it off but I wouldn’t let him. “No its not right, guns are meant to hurt and if someone got hurt… its not worth it. I was scared that day, I mean Will almost…” I tell him and he tensed up a little at my words. I mean he wasn’t a monster. I know he knew what I saying. He was there that day in the 7-11 when will was waving that gun around. He could’ve hurt someone… “And it’s not just that! “ I added. “I mean you get caught- and you can kiss your army career goodbye“ I tell him and he shook his head like it wasn’t gonna happen.

“Elle.” He sighed but I just continued to lecture him.

“No and not just this, but all that shit you're mixed up in with Jay too.” I scolded him and he frowned. “You know better, it’s not worth it – you're gonna fucking end up in jail and then what?!” I started to yell at him… I could feel my anger rising. I was just getting so mad and it wasn’t really at him. I mean it was at him but it was more about Gerard, cause he was doing the same thing. But since Gerard wasn’t here I was lecturing Brian instead…

“Look Elle, we need the money.” He says and I shook my head in disagreement. “Seriously, ever since Crystal stopped working at the bar, I'm telling ya, shits been rough.” He says and I looked at him not sure of what to say for a moment… “And she is not gonna go back to working there, not ever. She's in college now and that’s where her ass is gonna stay till graduation.” He adds heatedly and I just looked at him blankly. I mean I didn’t think he was lying. I just never realized what that must be like. Having money to me was like turning on the faucet and having water. It was just always there.

“Brian if you want money I have a whole fucking bag of it, you can have it.” I tell him and he laughed… but I didn’t…

“You serious?” He says and I nodded.

“Um yeah Will had a whole bag of money and shit.” I tell him as I glanced around the room. “I just don't know where I put it.” I frowned as I stood up.

“Elle come on.” He tells me motioning for me to sit back down but I wouldn’t.

“No I think Crystal took it to her room.” I tell him and he stood up and crushed his beer can slightly and tossed it on the counter.

“I think you're still flying there sugar.” He laughed as he squinted at my eyes. He kinda fell forward a little pinning me against the counter.

“Brian!” I whined as I tried to push him back. “You're drunk.” I tell him and he laughed.

“Yeah you too.” He says and I giggled. I mean I was, but I knew what I was talking about…

“No, I have a bag of money, I swear! I’ll show you.” I tell him determinedly as I walked out.

I went down the hall and peeked into Crystal’s room. She was sitting on the bed scribbling something in a notebook. Looked like she was working on some report or something for school. But sure enough, she had brought my bag into her room.

“I just gotta grab something.” I tell her as I walked in. I didn’t mean to bother her but we sorta were cause Brian followed me in too. I think he was just being curious.

“Ah so that’s your bag of money!” He teases me and I nodded.

“Um yeah.” I tell him but he didn’t really seem to believe me until I dumped the bag of bills and drugs out on the bed. Right at Crystals feet too…

“Holy shit Elle. Where did you get this from?” He gasped at me and I frowned.

“I told you Will.” I explained to him once more as he started sorting through it. “I mean do you guys want it?” I asked them and they both looked at me like I was nuts.

“What?” Crystal asked a little skeptically.

“I mean like if you wanted it, cause you know it’s tainted.” I said lowering my voice down and they both just looked at me like what did I mean by that. “You know he stole it… from a church. I mean that’s like a sin, its dirty.” I added and Crystal sorta smiled. “But if you don't have a problem knowing where it came from-.” I tell them and she laughed.

“Elle I use to work in a fucking strip club. Believe me I know dirty money. It’s okay.” She says and I shrugged. “But this is an awful lot to have come from a church.” She adds.

“Well I think he was stealing it from other places too and shit, I don't know but whatever then if you guys want it then take other wise I'm gonna….” I tell them my voice trailing off and Brian sorta smiled.

“Uh bury it in your yard?” He says teasingly and I nodded. I mean yeah that’s what I would’ve done…“Even this?” He says smirking a little as he held up a rather large bag of coke.

“mmm.” I sorta frowned at it.

“You don't want any of this.” He says like he didn’t believe me and I paused for a moment. I did want it… I mean I can’t lie. It was so freaking tempting to me, but I just couldn’t… “Or you know maybe if you don't then Gerard-“ He starts to say but I cut him off forcefully.

“NO!” I yelled out a bit louder then I meant to. “Gerard's not doing that anymore.” I tell him insistently and he shrugged like if I said so. And I did say so. I mean I had enough of the drugs and the lies and all the shit that went along with it. Gerard was not gonna be selling what was in Wills bag, and Gerard was not gonna be using what was in Wills bag – and neither was I. It was a bit of a shame too cause it was a lot. And it was all cut up, like it was ready to be sold. Crystal had picked up on the bags and was sorta making a face at it…

“This looks like the shit Jay gets.” She tells her cousin and he nodded. I looked over to see what she meant.

“Oh you mean that stamp on the bag?” I say and she nods. Almost every single bag had this neon green happy face stamped on the bag, sorta like a logo…“Yeah I never understood why you would do that.” I tell them and Brian sorta smiled.

“So that people know who it came from.” He says and I rolled my eyes at him.

“Well sounds like another stupid male pride thing to me. I mean you fucking label shit like that, you might as well put your name and address on it too, make it real easy for the cops to trace it back to you.” I tell him and Crystal laughed.

“Well Will must know the same guys Jay does, cause this is their stamp.” She says and I froze up at her comment. “I bet he knows Teddy too...” She adds laughing lightly and I just stared at her. Hmph. I guess Lia never told her that Teddy wasn’t real. I don't know why but I thought she did…

“Yeah everybody fucking knows him but me.” Brian says bitterly and I found myself struggling to keep up.

“Knows who?” I said a little confused as Brian started shoving the shit back in the duffel bag.

“Teddy.” Brian replied plainly. “I mean does he not fucking like me or something Elle?” Brian says and I looked at him stupidly. I was so lost it wasn’t even funny.

“Who Teddy? He doesn’t like you?” I say once more not keeping up.

“Well yeah, he's always avoiding me.” He says and I nodded foolishly along.

“Oh well, yeah, that’s just him.” I kinda sighed not sure of what to say. I didn’t want to have to lie to him, but it looked like I was going to have to…

“Naw, every time he fucking talks to Jay or Gerard or meets up with them, he avoids me.” Brian continued to rant and I frowned.

“Teddy talks to Jay?” I say like I didn’t believe it –and I didn’t! Brian nodded and went to say something else but I wouldn’t let him. “Wait, what do you mean he talks to Jay? He can’t talk to Jay.” I say to Brian and he sorta looked at me like he was confused now. “You’re telling me you’ve seen Teddy -talking to Jay?” I ask and he nods, but then quickly shook his head no.

“No, I've never seen the guy, but I've seen Jay call him.” He tells me and I scoffed. Jay was full of shit. He was pretending to call Teddy? How pathetic… I mean that’s what Lia use to do.

“Jays full of shit, he doesn’t know him.” I tell him shaking my head slightly and Brian frowned in disagreement.

“Sure he does Elle, and I don't get why Gerard won’t introduce me to him.” Brian insisted and I lowered my eyes down.

“Gerard did not introduce Teddy to Jay.” I tell him rubbing my eyes a little. I was starting to get a headache…

“No Jay met him over at your house I think.” He says and I scoffed.

“Brian!” I whined a little annoyed.

“That’s what he said!” Brian cried out and I rolled my eyes a little. “And now they got something going on and I'm left out.” He says like he didn’t know why.

“What do you mean they have something going on?” I asked him roughly. I mean my headache was growing now. This was just turning in to some big fucking mess and I didn’t like being in the middle like this…

“Jay and Ted, they got some kinda thing going and they offered me a cut, Gerard too but he said no.” He tells me and I smiled sarcastically at him. Of course Gerard told him no. And I don't know what the bullshit was about Jay and Ted… “And if Gee’s not going in then…” Brian stammered a little. “I mean you think they’d screw me over Elle?” He asks me and I sighed in defeat.

I wasn’t sure what to say but I decided I that I needed to just tell him the truth. I mean Brian was a good guy. He had a good shot at having some kinda future and fucking Jay was just bringing him down. I don't know what kinda fucking lies Jay was telling him but they were lies! They had to be…

“Look Brian I'm gonna tell you something, but you cant get mad, and like don't tell anyone else.” I say to him as I reach over and shut the door. I mean I didn’t have to shut the door, there was nobody else in the house. It was just a habit I guess, like when you go to tell somebody a secret you shut the door. “Mmm Teddy’s not real, he's a bear.” I say as I spun back around and he laughed.

“He's a what now?” He says like he was humoring me. He glanced over at Crystal who shrugged like she didn’t know what I was talking about.

“He's a bear, a toy, like not a person.” I tell him and he sorta looked at me like I was kidding or maybe that I was more wasted then he thought. “I mean Lia fucking made him up. Seriously.” I tell him and he frowned as he looked over at Crystal.

“Uh why?” Crystal asks and I looked down at the floor sheepishly.

“Umm cause like no one would cut her a break.” I offered. “I mean you know how it is, guys only club no?” I tell them and they sorta exchanged looks “So she made him up. He was a stuffed bear she use to stash her shit in.” I tell them and Crystal smiled. Brian shook his head a little.

“I don't believe you.” He says and I shrugged.

“Well, I do Lia’s fucking nuts!” Crystal laughed and I smiled. “-so um what happened?” Crystal says nudging me to go on.

“Oh well see I ‘accidentally’ decapitated him.” I tell them sadly and now Brian smiled.

“And let me guess, you buried him in your yard?” He says and I nodded guiltily.

“yeah…” I tell them softly and I can feel my cheeks flushing slightly “and um, that was the end of Teddy. Lia moved on from drug dealer to professional whore.” I blurt out stupidly. “Oh uh no offense Crystal.” I add quickly. I mean I didn’t think all strippers were whores, just Lia…

“No none taken.” She replied back smirking a little. She was obviously thinking the same thing I was.

“And then um, my ass of a boyfriend decided to raise the dead and cash in on Teddy name.” I tell them sighing softly and they exchanged looks once more.

“Shit Elle.” Brian tells me as he rubbed the sides of his head. I felt so bad telling him all this shit. I thought the truth was suppose to set you free? Make you feel better… But it didn’t… It wasn’t. It was making me feel worse. Having to admit to him that I’d lied over and over and over to him… it sucked…

“I know Brian. But it’s over. It’s all over. And I hope you can forgive me.” I tell him pathetically and he just looked at me funny. “See, so there’s no way that Jay knows him. He's bullshiting you.” I tell him. “I mean I'm not sure what he wants you to do but he's playing you.” I insist and he exhaled a little before answering me.

“No Elle I get what you're saying.” He tells me and I nodded. “-but Jay met him -he told me so. He met him at your house.” He continued to insist.

“No Brian.” I replied just as passionately back.

“Yes. I'm telling you Elle, he pages him, and he calls back. I never met him but I'm telling you the guys real.” Brian declares and I felt like my head was just gonna fucking explode. Why does he not get this?

“Impossible!” I cried out and I looked at Crystal for some help. Brian looked over at her too. She looked like she wasn’t quite sure what to say…We were both so passionately convinced we were right…

“Jay is suppose to fucking meet up with Ted tomorrow.” Brian says and I smirked.

“Yeah that’s something I’d like to see…” I mumbled under my breath but I don't know that Brian heard me.

“You sure?” Crystal asked her cousin and he nodded.

“Yeah Jay said as soon as Ted gets back from Florida he’ll call me…”