FicWad

Florida? Will was just in Florida… There’s no fucking way that he… I mean he couldn’t? could he?

“I gotta call Gerard.” I tell Brian frantically and he just looked me confused. “Shit, Brian, Will was just in Florida.” I reminded him and he frowned.

“You don't think-“ He says and I shrugged.

“I don't know what to think.” I tell him honestly. I mean the pieces kinda fit. Will knew a lot about me from following me so much, so he knew about Teddy… In fact he made that weird comment in the woods about bow-bow being Teddy but I didn’t really get it at the time.

He had to have known what Lia and I were doing… And he was skulking around my house a lot from what Mr. Portman said, so maybe Jay ran into him over there one day… Brian would’ve recognized him immediately but Jay wouldn’t have. And it would make sense why he wouldn’t want to run into Brian or talk to Brian. And as for Gerard… Well, Jays a two-timing dirty ass motherfucker- he wouldn’t think twice about double crossing Gerard like that. Running shit with ‘Ted’ behind his back and not telling him…

Fuck, Jays always wanted to meet Teddy and Wills got so many fucking personalities it would be easy for him to pull something like that off... He's delusional as fuck anyway… And Gerard's been checking in with Jay behind my back all this time. I bet Will was having him feed him info on me…It all sorta made sense in a weird way.

I told Brian this and he didn’t really say much. I mean I think he was trying to sort through it in his head. You know looking for an argument back or something, but he couldn’t seem to come up with one, which freaked me out. Which could only mean that I was right and I started to panic.

“I’ll call Jay okay Elle?’ Brian says in a feeble attempt to calm me. “You just clean this shit up.” He says gesturing to the mess of drugs and shit that will all spread out on Crystal’s bed. I just nodded back in response. I was okay with cleaning it up. I mean I didn’t even think twice about it until he said something like ‘I’ll handle it, or let me handle this,’ as he went out the door. And that just set me off. I mean that’s the reason why we’re even in this mess!

“Oh sure, the ‘guys’ are gonna handle it! Cause shit- the guys just know so much! Ha! fuckers.” I muttered under my breath and Crystal sorta smiled. “What the hell Crystal!” I yelled out towards her. “You know what I'm saying right?” I tell her and she nodded.

“Yeah but don't take it so personally Elle.” She tells me and I scoffed at her. “Seriously Elle, you make everything like guys verses girls.”

“I do not!” I protested and she tried not to smile at me. “Well even I do, its cause they make it that way!” I tell her and she laughed.

“Oh Elle.” She sorta sighed. “You let them baby you, you like it.” She points out and I frowned.

“I do not!” I snapped back defensively. I mean what the fuck! Crystal thinks she knows me now? Shit, the only things she knows about me is whatever crap Lia told her… She didn’t know me, not at all… I guess she could tell I took offense to her comments too…

“I didn’t meant it like that.” She says apologetically and I shrugged with indifference.

“Whatever, I'm just gonna call Gerard.” I tell her brusquely, scanning my eyes around the room for the phone.

“Well, whatever then.” She replied back as I picked up the phone from the dresser and punched his number in quickly.

Fuck Gerard… why is he never here when I need him? And I needed him now. I needed to hear his voice one more time. I needed him to tell me it was gonna all be okay, that I didn’t need to worry about it… Maybe I did let him baby me. But was that so wrong? -to feel scared and want comfort? -to be alone and want love? I don't know… Crystal was making it seem like it was…

The phone rang only one time before someone answered it, they picked up right away and it wasn’t Gerard or even Mikey…it was a girls voice. -but not like his mom or a grown woman or anything, it was a girl… A young girl… a familiar girl… I was so taken aback I didn’t say anything at first, so she repeated herself…

“Hell-o?” She says once more, dragging out the syllables slightly.

“Jade?” I asked and as I said it I felt my heart skip a beat.

“Yeah who’s this?” She replied and I pulled the phone from my ear. Did I dial the right number? I looked down at the display screen and Gerard's number was still lit up on it… She was at his house?… I mean he told me she left…a long fucking time ago too…

“Uh wrong number.” I said absentmindedly and then I pressed the off button. I looked up at Crystal and she lowered her eyes down quickly. I mean she was standing there, she saw what just happened.

“Oh Elle.” She sighed as I looked down at the phone in my hand still trying to figure out what was going on.

“He said she left… He fucking lied to me! Again!” I said more to myself then to her.

“Did you hang up on her?” Crystal says widening her eyes slightly and I shrugged. I mean I did.

“Should I call her back?” I asked her as I pressed the on button. The sound of the hollow dial tone filled the air and Crystal just looked at me blankly.

“What are you gonna say to her?” She asks me and I just stared stupidly back.

“I dunno.” I tell her and I really didn’t know... “I don't want to talk to her.” I tell her truthfully and she nodded.

“And him?” She says and I felt my heart tightening in my chest now.

“I don't want to talk to him either!” I cried out as that annoying beeping tone started to echo out from the phone in my hand.

“He's gonna call back.” She says and I bit my lip a little anxiously.

“Well fuck him.” I declared and I opened her drawer and shoved the phone in it. I put a sweatshirt or something over it to muffle it and I slammed the drawer shut. “Let him call.” I tell her and she sorta made a face at me like she wasn’t sure what to say.

“Uhhh okay.” She says and all of a sudden my common sense started kicking in. I mean this was her room, her phone, her shit and I'm just acting like I own the place.

“Oh I'm sorry.” I tell her quickly as I go to open the drawer back up and she stopped me.

“No it’s all right Elle.” She tells me her voice mixed with pity and compassion and I just broke down… Started sobbing in her arms, like the great big mess that I was…

“I don't believe he lied to me!” I tell her and she sorta patted me on the back as I clung to her.

“I know it sucks.” She says softly and I nodded.

“I hate him Crystal – how could he fucking do this to me! With that whore!” I tell her and she pulled back a little.

“Ah Elle you don't know that.” She says and I scoffed at her.

“You know this Jade girl?” I asked her and she sorta shrugged like she did. “She's a fucking whore! No she's worse then a whore she's a fucking dirty trailer trash skank and I hope Gerard enjoys his night of fucking her cause his dicks gonna fall off when he's done.” I tell Crystal and she sorta smiled.

“What? Why?” She says sounding a little too amused with all this.

“Cause! Didn’t you hear me? She's a dirty skank!” I exclaimed sniffling a little and Crystal mumbled some thing like yeah, or I know before pulling back from me. She was reaching for the tissue box on her nightstand and I was reaching for Wills duffel bag.

“Oh Elle, I don't know that that’s a good idea-“ She starts to say but I ignored her and popped two more of Wills pink pills into my mouth. I hung my head forward and swirled them around in my mouth with my tongue before swallowing them down…there was a knock on the door and I wiped my eyes as I looked up. Brian was standing in the hallway outside Crystal’s door now.

“I uh paged Jay he hasn’t called back yet.” He says and I laughed to myself. He wasn’t gonna be calling back, not with the phone off the hook like that. I reached up and wiped my eyes once more and Brian sorta stepped in to room a little concerned. “He’ll call back soon Elle, don't worry about it. I’ll call him again.” He says I guess mistaking that my tears had something to do with Will…

“You know what just forget about it Brian!” I snapped at him, my sadness replaces with anger suddenly. “I’ll take care of it myself, I don't need you!” I tell him and he frowned.

“What?” he says like he didn’t hear me but he did.

“You heard me!” I snapped at him once more. “I’ll handle Will, I’ll handle every fucking thing! Okay? I don't need you -or any other fucking guy shit how bout that?! Hmmm?” I yelled at him and he crossed his arms on his chest as he looked at me. Crystal didn’t say anything, just turned her back to us. She didn’t want to get involved and I couldn’t blame her…I was being completely irrational… Not to mention ungrateful to them both. But I didn’t care… Gerard hurt me. It was as simple as that… He hurt me and I didn’t care anymore if I hurt someone else back.

“You know what – fuck you Elle.” Brian says and Crystal grabbed his arm and started whispering something to him about me being upset with Gerard, but I don't really know what. I wasn’t really listening…my mind was spinning… Fuck you Elle?… that’s what Brian said… Gerard hurt me and I wanted to hurt him back…

“fuck you Elle?” I said softly under my breath. “You know what Brian?” I said a bit louder as I looked up at him… “That may not be such a bad idea…”
…








I woke up the next morning to the sound of heavy footsteps coming down the hall and what sounded like Lia’s voice…. Wait Lia? I nudged the sleeping body next to me but they wouldn’t get up. Only moaned in protest from my pokes. But I couldn’t blame them… it was a long night….Suddenly the overhead light flicked on and I heard Lia laugh sharply.

“Nice Elle…real nice…I always knew you were a slut.” Lia’s voice called out tauntingly. ”But I never in a million years thought I’d catch you fucking my ex girlfriend!” She laughed as I sat up in Crystal’s bed.

“Lia what the fuck are you doing here?” Crystal asked sitting up stretching herself now.

“Came to get the rest of my stuff.” Lia replied plainly.

“What the hell is she doing here?” She says referring to me and I thought back to events of last night. Shit, I almost slept with Brian just to stick it to Gerard... I mean I wanted to - I should've but I didn’t…it would’ve been easy too but I was just so tired of being a plaything for guys. Instead I stayed up trying to help Crystal with her sociology report for school.

“I got in a fight with Gerard Lia.” I tell her and she sorta arched her eyebrow up like she was gonna say something nasty but I guess she saw my eyes well up with tears in anticipation of her verbal onslaught and she changed her mind…

“Aw Ellie, you’ll work it out, you always do.” She says lowering her voice down apathetically and I shook my head in disagreement.

“No its over…” I sniffled and she smiled at me like I was being over dramatic. “It is! I'm serious! He lied to me… I can’t…” I tell her and she shrugged in amusement.

“Well you always have your darling husband Bobby to fall back on!” She teased me and I rolled my eyes.

“You’ll work it out with Gerard Elle.” Crystal says and I rubbed my temples in frustration. All fucking night that’s all I heard from her! Oh don't worry so much, you probably misunderstood, why don't you call him? No… there was no misunderstanding. He lied, its over. He spent the night with Jade.

“No, I've had enough… I'm done with him. I'm done with all men.” I tell Lia disgustedly and she smiled.

“Oh so you're uh considering switching sides, or have you already converted?” She says arching her eyebrows up at me and Crystal in the bed and I blushed at her implication.

“Lia!” I cried out tossing my pillow at her and she giggled as she ducked. “I'm just ugh, whatever.” I tell her as she continued to laugh. She was gonna think what she wanted no matter what I said…

“Leave her alone Lia!” Crystal tells her as she got up out of bed. Lia just shrugged and turned her back slightly as Crystal slipped on her jeans and her sweater. I just laid in the bed making no effort to get up, or to get dressed. I mean Crystal gave me a big baggy t-shirt to sleep in. It was real comfortable. I think it was Brian’s actually. I mean it was black and had some vicious looking band I’d never heard of on the front… Made me ache for my Gerard in a way…“So um how’d you get in anyway?” She asks Lia and Lia smirked.

“Got a key.” She replied and I smirked.

“Shit you got a key for everywhere don't you?” I tell her and she laughed as she started shuffling through the dresser drawers. Crystal’s room was real messy. It was gonna take Lia a while to sort through and find all her shit…But at least Lia and Crystal seemed to be on good terms. I mean seeing how they just broke up and all. But I don't know. Lia and Crystal seemed to have a really weird relationship. I know that they weren’t together that long and Lia didn’t tell her about Teddy. I kinda got the feeling that they weren’t as close as I thought they were. I found myself wondering what kinda relationship she had with John Samuel…

“Elle, your boyfriend’s here.” I hear Brian say snapping me from my thoughts and I glanced up and looked over at the doorway.

“What?” I gasped and Brian stretched his arms up above his head and yawned slightly.

“Gerard. He's here.” He repeated groggily. Poor Brian… I mean he was wearing just a pair of sweatpants and he was rubbing his eyes roughly as he spoke. He looked like shit. I mean he looked like how I felt… He was hung over and it showed…

“Well you can tell him to leave cause I ain’t fucking talking to him.” I declared as I crossed my arms on my chest defiantly.

“What? Elle?” I hear Gerard say as he stepped around Brian and came into Crystal’s room. Shit, when Brian said he was here I thought he meant like here at the front door, not like here like in the hallway!

“You heard me.” I spat at him and he frowned in confusion as he came towards the bed where I was sitting.

“Why?” He says to me like he hadn’t had a clue why I said it. But first he managed to shoot a nasty glance over at Lia, which she returned with pleasure.

“Oh how easy we forget Gerard!” I quip at him. “I know Jade was there last night, at your house! In your room!” I tell him shifting on the bed so more of my back was facing him.

“Um yeah cause I told you she was.” He says cautiously.

“Yeah and you told me she left!” I tell him gritting my teeth slightly. He kinda stepped around the bed so he was almost in front of me again.

“Uh huh” he says and I rolled my eyes a little. What an ass! He was making it seem like I was nuts!

“And then I called you back, like hours later and she answered.” I hissed at him and his face dropped.

“Shit.” He mumbled as he diverted his eyes from mine.

“Aw fuck you Gerard.” I yelled at him and he bit his lip a little as he looked back up at me.

“She didn’t tell me you called Elle.” He says apologetically and I heard Lia snicker a little behind from behind me.

“No I guess she was too busy sucking you off to mention it hmmm?” I snapped at him and he frowned.

“What?” He says like I was talking shit but I wasn’t… I know what she was doing there… She wanted him, and she had him… I wasn’t stupid…

“Uh, let’s go.” I hear Crystal say softly and I looked over and she was grabbing Lia’s arm trying to tug her out of the room.

“No! I wanna hear this!” Lia replied and she hopped up on the dresser and sorta smiled at Gerard. Damn, she was just loving this… Brian stood awkwardly in the doorway. I mean it looked like he wanted to leave but since Lia wasn’t going to, then he wasn’t going to either, and Crystal couldn’t leave cause Brian was blocking the door…

“Who says she was sucking me off?” Gerard kinda yelled back at me. He was getting all worked up now and I was glad!!

“Me! That’s who!” I tell him pointing at myself and he shook his head a little at me.

“Elle, what the fuck baby?” He says and I felt my heartache at his words…baby, baby, it echoed in my head…

“No, don't baby me, we’re done its over -you lied to me time and time again Gerard, I can’t.” I tell him shifting my eyes from him. I couldn’t even stomach looking at him.

“Elle, baby look at me, please.” He says and I stupidly looked up into his eyes. What a mistake that was… I felt myself being sucked back in, that was until he spoke… “Okay, fine, I didn’t tell you cause I didn’t want you to get upset.” He says and I shrieked as I jumped up off the bed and pounded my fist against his chest.

“Upset?!” I cried out as I hit him. “What the fuck Gerard!? I am upset! Are you kidding me?” I yelled at him and he grabbed my hand in his to stop me from hitting him again.

“She was too fucked up to drive home! I let her stay in my bed and I stayed on the couch -I swear! Ask Mikey! Nothing happened.” He says quickly and I pulled my hand back from his roughly. He just shook his head at me as I stepped back from him.

“You lied. Again. It’s over.” I tell him pointing my finger accusingly at him and he ran his hands through his hair in frustration…

“Damn it Elle! What the hell! How can you say that!” He says and his voice was disturbingly on edge now.

“Look if she says its over it‘s over, You lose Gee- bear!” Lia tells him smirking as she hopped down off the dresser. “She's obviously moved on, found herself a new fuck!” Lia says giggling a little as she glanced over at Brian.

Gerard looked over too. Then he shifted his eyes to me… to my shirt… I mean it looked bad. Brian and I were the only ones not dressed. In fact it sorta looked like we were sharing an outfit. I mean he had the pants I had the shirt…

“Motherfucker.” Gerard hissed and I grabbed his arm to stop him from lunging at Brian…