FicWad

I found myself sitting in study hall with Heather, Lisa, and Marie, but I was looking across the room at Gerard. He was drawing in his notebook again and my heart ached to go be with him but I couldn’t.

My heart was still beating a hundred miles a minute. I'm starting to think that it wasn't from being in Gerards presence anymore but that damn pill I swallowed this morning. I was considering asking for a bathroom pass but all of a sudden someone comes over to our table and hands me a pink slip. I have to go to the office. Apparently they just noticed that I wasn't in English class yesterday. I was outside checking the sky. Checking it for what? I didn’t know…

I became hysterical in the office trying to explain I don’t even know what. That pill was really fucking me over. I just carried on and on until finally they let me go with a warning.

The next period had already begun and the halls were empty. As I walked to math class I wondered what exactly I had taken and I swore to myself that I wasn’t going to take anything else. I needed to focus.

I crashed down in my seat and Mikey glanced over at me.

"What?” I demanded and I don’t know why I snapped at him. I was just so on edge it was unbelievable. Felt like I was caught in a landslide.

"Nothing just you look pretty" he said weakly and turned back to his work. I rolled my eyes at him.

‘Right words, wrong brother.” I mumbled

‘what?‘ Mikey whispered and I shook my head at him.

‘nothing.‘ I whispered back. For the rest of class I kept my head down. Soon enough it was over. I asked him once more on the way out about helping me with my math. Not cause of Gerard but cause I was really struggling with it. He said hed let me know but I got the feeling he just didn’t want to tell me no..

I got to Social studies and Ray is my chair.

"You're in my chair Toro." I tell him

"No I'm not" he says arrogantly leaning back putting his boots up on my desk.

"Uh yeah you are" I said snidely pushing his feet down off my desk. Then I smiled. It felt so good to bitch with Ray. Like old times…
"All right prove it" he smirks. He leans back and crosses him arms. I almost pulled out my notebook but quickly had second thoughts. I had all sorts of crap scribbled about him in there. I couldn’t show him that.

"Whatever." I just shrugged. “Ill just sit in yours.” I dumped my crap on the floor and he smiled smugly like he somehow won but I don’t know why. “So um you and Lia now?” I asked him. I wasn’t quite sure when they officially started.

"What she told you?" Ray began grinning at me.

"Uh no she didn't. I guessed." I replied and he laughed.

"Well guess again, that chick just aint right" He says and I look over and he was still smiling.

”Seriously Ray I know you and her are gonna hook up” I tell him and he shakes his head no. “You are!" I continued to tease him.

"Oh yeah?" he said folding his arms on his chest and smirking.

"Yeah you kissed her once. I know you want more. No one can kiss Lia just once, she’s like a box of cheez its" I joked. He laughed.

"And how do you know what she tastes like?" he questioned me and I just looked at him a little confused..

"You know Ive kissed her," I said shrugging a little. "Lots of times, you’ve seen it." I say and Ray froze, I quickly turned my eyes back to my paper. Fuck. Me and big mouth. Ray wanted to say something but class had started and I refused to look over to give him the chance. Once the bell rang though Ray got up and stood in front of me.

"Are you going to lunch?" he asked looking down at me.

"Um yeah" I answered. He didn’t say anything he just followed me out the classroom and down the hall. Gerard was standing by the exit door.

"Lets go" I overheard Ray saying to Gerard. I didn’t dare say anything to either of them. I walked out the exit door and towards the school gate. Ray and Gerard were close behind me. The monitor at the gate checked our IDs. I started to head down my block. Ray and Gerard were close behind. When we reached my house I stopped and turned.

"Are you guys following me?" I asked and Ray just laughed.

"Uh no Elle, but this isn't Lia's house!" Ray said looking around.

"Uh no Captain Obvious!" I smiled at Ray. "This is my house duh, Lia lives the next block down." I tell him pointing to the left. Ray looked down the street just as my papa came out.

"Elle dear?" he called out from the doorway " Is that you?"

"I'll be right there papa." I answered.

"Oh" papa said noticing Gerard and Ray. "Bring your... friends in too Ellie." He tells me and I nodded another memory flooding my mind now.

“Ok Papa.” I tell him as he goes back in. “Are you coming in Ray?” I asked and he exchanged looks with Gerard.

“I thought we were going to Lias.” Gerard says and I found myself frowning. I didn’t remember exactly how this played out but this didn’t seem right.

“Um no I eat lunch with my papa.” I look over and Ray shrugged his shoulders. “I mean you can go sit and watch them make out… but Im gonna have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.” I tell them both and Ray grinned at me.

“Or you can come to Lias and make out with her too!” He suggests and I laughed but Gerard gave him a look like what the fuck man.

“Yeah Ill pass.” I continued to laugh.

"Alright Ill catch ya later." Ray called out and with that he was gone. Jogging up the block to Lias to make up for wasted time I guess.

Just then my papa appeared in the doorway once more.

"Is that your grandpa?" Gerard asked looking over at him. He was heading towards the door. I grabbed his arm and looked directly into his eyes.

"Wait" I say squeezing his arm. He just kinda smiled at me…. “Um I never invite anyone over cause of my grandpas' condition.” I tell him and he nodded. He walked up to papa and introduced himself before we followed papa inside. I saw Gerard looking around as we walked through the house, but he didn’t say anything… I don’t know what I was expecting him to say. Oh yeah I remember the next four years now too??

He smiled as he sat at the kitchen table. Papa shuffled over and placed a dish in front of me. There was a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on it. I poked it. It wobbled. I almost threw up. Gerard picked up his sandwich and took a bite. "I thought you liked pb and j..."he whispered at me and I couldn’t help but smile. I picked up my sandwich and forced myself to take a bite.

Just as I remembered Gerard got along great with my papa. There really was something about him .. I pointed out how my papa knew his grandma from book club which opened up a whole new conversation. Gerard even said he might come check out book club one Sunday but I don’t know if he was just being polite or if he meant it.

Before I knew it, our time was up. I hated to leave Papa but I had to. As we walked out the front door Ray was stumbling up the block. He was obviously stoned and had a hickey on his neck too now... Fucking Lia, if anything she was consistent.

We walked back to the school together no one really saying much. As we entered Gerard held the door open. I was watching Gerard out of the corner of my eye to see if I could catch him looking at my ass and as I did I walked into Jeff. I mean I literally walked right into him smacking my head against his chest.

“Motherfucker!" I cried out. Gerard reached out his arm for me. Jeff shot him a nasty look and wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

"Elle baby, you ok?" He asked me still staring down Gerard. My head was spinning. I rubbed the side of it a little and looked up at him.

"Oh uh yeah Jeff." I said and I turned and looked as Gerard and Ray walked away. They didn't even say goodbye to me....

"Were you with those guys? " Jeff asks me scoffing a little.

"Uh yeah why?" I snapped at him. “I told you Im not with Paul anymore.“ I remind him and he just shrugged at me…

"Come on" He says tugging me along as we walked to the English classroom. I sat down and Jeff sat next to me even though I asked him not to. He kept looking over at me funny until I pointed out that my pen might not be as sharp as a plastic utensil but none the less, it would still hurt like a bitch.

Hmm I guess I really am my fathers daughter…